Playboy Boss, Pregnancy Of Passion Part 23

'Twelve.'

Her eyes widened. 'Luke, for pity's sake, you were still a child! There's nothing cowardly about what you did.'

'Hmm.' He wasn't so sure. 'Anyway. That teacher was the one who got me the market stall job and helped me keep straight. A few years later, I asked him why...and he said it was because he was like me once. Someone had helped him out, and he believed in...well, karma, I suppose. What goes around, comes around.'

'It does,' she said softly. 'So your family accepted it?'

He shook his head. 'It came to a head when I was fifteen. They wanted me to launder some money on the stall. I said no. It got messy. And in the end I gave them an ultimatum-accept that I wanted no part of what they did, or let me go.'

She bit her lip. 'And they let you go?'

'Even my mum turned her back on me.' It hurt to admit it.

'Your mum was a criminal, too?'

'No. She was...' He tried to think how best to explain. 'Fragile, I suppose. She found it easier to go with the flow. When Dad was inside, one of the family would come round and change fuses and fix leaks for her, that sort of thing. And they always made sure she was all right for money. I suppose they had a kind of honour-this thing about looking after your own.' He shrugged. 'The antidepressants took care of the rest of it. Dad would tell her what to say when the police came round, and she did it. So. That's why I don't-didn't-' he corrected himself swiftly '-do families.'

'I see.'

'And please don't get any rose-coloured-gla.s.ses ideas of getting me to make things up with them. I don't belong with them, and they don't belong with me. I don't want their kind of life-not for me, not for you and most definitely not for our baby.' He swallowed hard. 'But since I met you...I've learned something. I've realised that it doesn't matter where I came from. What matters is now. And I can make the family I want to be part of.' He looked at her. 'I want you, Sara. Being without you...it's like being back in those dark days, where I didn't believe in anything or anyone. When I kept everyone at a distance so they didn't have the chance to let me down.'

'I let you down, too,' she said. 'I walked out on you.'

'I pushed you into it. All I can say is that when you told me about the baby I panicked. And I swear I never meant to hurt you.'

'I saw all the walls go straight back up. And I didn't want to stay, drag you down until you resented me and the baby.'

'I'd never do that.'

'Wouldn't you?'

'No. Because I've learned the difference between what I thought I wanted, and what I really do want. I want a family, Sara. With you.'

'You offered me a business deal. A perfect contract,' she said. 'Not a family package.'

'And I was wrong. It isn't what I want, either.' There was nothing else for it. He was going to have to tell her. 'I won't blame you if you don't believe me, but I love you. And I can honestly say it's not just words for me. I've never said it to anyone else.'

And that was it. He'd given her all he had. Well, almost. He realised he was still clutching the paper carrier bag. He stood up and placed it in her lap. 'This isn't actually for you-it's for our baby, in years to come. But I'd like you to read it first.' He lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug. 'I'll see myself out. Call me if and when you want to talk.'

Sara didn't open the bag until after she'd heard the front door close behind him. She knew it had taken a lot for Luke to tell her the truth about his past. For a man who believed in straightforwardness and honour to admit that he'd grown up without either.

And the fact he'd said he loved her...

She believed that he hadn't said that to anyone else. That it had cost him a great deal to tell her. But could she let herself trust him? Could she believe that, if she went back to him, his barriers would stay down this time?

She opened the bag and took out the journal. Frowning, she opened the pages. It was hand-written, so he'd clearly taken the time to do this himself; he hadn't just dictated it for someone else to type up. So this was clearly important to him. Personal.

And he'd said it was for their baby.

She read on and realised he'd poured his heart out onto the pages. Telling their baby about her-what he loved about her, when he'd first realised that he loved her, how he felt when she was around. Admitting that part of him was scared to death that he wouldn't be a good enough father, but he was going to try because Sara had shown him what a family could be. How many things he was looking forward to-seeing their baby at the first scan, feeling the baby's first kicks, having that very first cuddle with a newborn. How he planned to spend time building sandcastles and paddling in the sea with their baby. Flying kites-the one good memory from his own childhood, one that he wanted to relive and share with their child-and having picnics at Greenwich. Being there to read a bedtime story; being there with a cuddle when their child woke in the night from a bad dream. And, most of all, being a family.

By the time she finished reading, Sara was bawling her eyes out. She rang Luke's mobile, but when he answered she was completely incoherent.

What seemed like seconds later, he was ringing the doorbell. She opened the door and just fell into his arms.

'I drove here as fast as I could. Are you all right? Is it the baby? Everything's going to be fine, honey. I'll call the ambulance. And I'm not going to leave you. Not now, not ever.'

He was halfway through punching in the emergency number when she stopped him. 'I don't need an ambulance,' she said shakily. 'The baby's fine.'

'Then why...?' He wiped her tears away gently with the pad of his thumb.

'I'm crying for you. For how much you missed out on as a child. But it's not going to be like that for our baby. We'll be a family-a real family. Because I love you, Luke. I really do love you.'

'Good. Because I love you all the way back. And it hurts like h.e.l.l.'

'It doesn't have to any more.'

And then she was in his arms. Held so tightly that she could barely breathe-but she was holding Luke just as tightly. His mouth over hers, his kiss hot and demanding.

She'd untucked his s.h.i.+rt when he released her and took a step back.

'Luke?'

'I want you, Sara.' His voice had dropped an octave, and she could see the hunger in his eyes. 'But not here. It feels wrong.'

Disappointment clogged her throat. 'So what do you suggest?'

'Come home with me to the flat. Our flat,' he emphasised, 'for now. But if you want somewhere with a garden, we'll go house-hunting. Choose a place together.'

'But you love your flat. Your s.p.a.ce.'

'It doesn't feel right without you. I need you, Sara.'

'And you'd really move, for me?'

'I'll do whatever it takes to make this right. To be a family with you. Because you and our baby are more important to me than anything else in the world.'

'Luke.' She kissed him hard.

It was less than twenty minutes before they were back at Luke's flat.

Less than one minute later before there was a trail of their clothes from the door to the bed.

And oh, it was good to feel his skin against hers, the warmth of his mouth as it teased hers to fever-pitch.

'Luke, you're driving me crazy. I need...'

'Me, too,' he said softly. 'But this time I want more. I want all the barriers gone. I want you and me, and nothing in between.'

'It's a bit late for contraception anyway,' she said shakily.

He kissed her and, as he eased into her, it felt like coming home. Making love with the man she loved more than anything-and who loved her all the way back.

She felt her body tightening round his, and his body surged in answer.

'Sara,' he whispered, 'I love you.'

'I love you, too.' And when she opened her eyes to look at him, she could see that his lashes were damp.

Afterwards she lay with her head on his shoulder, her hand resting on his chest and his fingers laced through hers.

'You're going to have to marry me, you know,' he said.

'Because of the baby?' That still stung.

'Because of me,' he corrected. 'I want to spend the rest of my days with you.'

'Luke, you're telling me. You're supposed to ask me properly.'

'I'm telling you because I don't want to risk you saying no.'

She smiled. 'What's that saying of yours? The one that annoys the h.e.l.l out of me? Live a little.'

'You want me to ask you to marry me?'

'Give the monkey a peanut.'

'I love it when you're sa.s.sy with me.' He laughed. 'You'd better get dressed.'

'Why?'

'Because I'm not telling our children that I proposed to you stark naked.'

She couldn't help laughing back, but she did as he'd asked and got dressed. He pulled on his clothes and led her out to the bank of the Thames. Heedless of the people walking round them, he dropped down to one knee.

'Sara Fleet, I love you and you make my world a better place. I want to make a family with you. Will you marry me?'

There was a huge lump in her throat. But she managed to say the important word-the one she knew he was waiting for. 'Yes.'

All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.

All Rights Reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises II BV/S.a.r.l. The text of this publication or any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

ISBN: 978 1 408 90935 5.

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