Devil's Despair: Travis's Stand Part 38

Lacey's staring at me with a shy, scared smile. I hate that she looks nervous. That's her mom and Trav called her. She deserves to know why.

"I want to know why she's here," she whispers to Travis.

The faint knock at the door doesn't offer him a chance to answer. Looking at the ceiling, he turns the k.n.o.b and moves to the side so Cheryl can enter.

She looks around the apartment with an unnamed expression. I can tell by looking at her she wants to say something, but she's holding back and she feels out of place. Too bad she's not as clueless as I'd hoped. I was set to unleash.

"Lacey," Trav says, causing Cheryl to turn around. "You really shouldn't be here."

"I'm not leaving you, Travis," Lacey whispers again.

"Okay." He leans in and kisses the crown of her head.

He rarely does that with so much gentleness, making this situation more suspicious.

"You want to sit down or talk standin'?" he asks his b.i.t.c.h of a mother.

"I'll sit. I'm not sure what you all need from me, Travis. I'm not sure . . ."

"You should be sure we don't want you hanging around longer than needed," I let slip. Travis sends me a glare in warning, which I return with one of my own.

Travis walks over to the couch, Lacey and Cheryl following him. Trav taps my leg to get me to move over as he sits in the middle and signals Lacey to sit on the other side of him. Cheryl, by deduction, takes a seat in the chair across from us. She's sitting alone, as she should be.

Dear G.o.d, I want to punch her.

"Why are you here?" Lacey starts. I watch Trav brace his hand on her thigh and grip it quickly. With the force he seems to have used, that had to hurt.

"Travis called."

"For what?" Lacey looks to Travis with the question.

Cheryl s.h.i.+fts in her seat and looks to Trav for a rea.s.surance he doesn't offer. "Who is this young woman, Travis?" Cheryl asks, ignoring me and keeping her eyes on Trav.

I help her out. "I'm Sarah. My family took him in 'cause his mother left and his dad died."

"I see," she answers.

"Doubt that," I return.

Cheryl finally looks at me and I see her att.i.tude, much the same as my own, wanting to take flight.

Instead, she releases me and looks back at Travis.

"You want to know why I left your father," she starts, her eyes only on Travis.

"Yes, and I need it to be the truth."

"The truth is ugly," she says, pulling a pack of cigarettes from her purse.

"You can't f.u.c.king smoke in here," I happily inform her.

Her hand slowly returns to the pack and she puts it away, sighing heavily. "Do you have anything to drink?"

"Nope. We're all out," I return.

Travis turns to me and I expect to be told to calm down or be quiet, but instead he's wearing a small smirk. I can't help but return it, and thankfully, just as I know he'd hoped, it calms me. I still want to rip her face off, though.

"Where do you want me to start?" Cheryl asks.

"The part why you left Travis," Lacey returns.

"Your dad was gone that weekend," she starts and looks down at the floor. "You and I were home. We lived in that trailer park off Kennedy Avenue. I doubt you remember it."

Travis stiffens. He must remember something.

Cheryl already looks exasperated. Her hands fold nervously in front of her as she stares at them. "I had gotten us into some financial trouble and I had borrowed money."

"The man," Trav interrupts. "The one that came looking for you, did you know him?"

"Yes. He worked for who I borrowed the money from."

"Swell," I mumble sarcastically and roll my eyes in Lacey's direction. She returns it with one of her own and we press forward.

Travis turns again and wraps his arm around my shoulders, bringing me firmly against his side.

"What happened when the man came inside?" Travis prods.

"I don't remember all of it," she starts. "That morning I had taken something for my headache-"

Travis laughs sardonically. I hear it bellow in my ear held against his chest. "Something for your headache," he jests. "You don't take something that knocks you completely unconscious, leaving your three-year-old kid to sit alone in a cold house thinkin' his mother is dead."

I watch as Cheryl swallows hard. The silence is deafening.

I hear Lacey sniff and move my head up from Trav's chest and find her wiping a tear from her eye. Lacey Flynn does not cry. In all the time I've known her, she's been solid. This does something to my insides. I don't like it.

Cheryl catches it and her once-nervous eyes grow soft. "You're right, Travis," she whispers. "There's no sense in lying. I had taken pills to keep me from thinking about what I was sure would come."

"And what was that?" Trav asks.

"The worst possible thing a woman could imagine," she answers.

"What happened after you woke up?" Travis demands. "I want to know."

"If you remember what I already know you do, there's no point in telling you."

"The f.u.c.k there isn't. I still have f.u.c.king nightmares about those men."

The nightmares I've witnessed. I swallow hard.

Cheryl fidgets in her seat. Her hand makes its way to her cheek and she checks her body's temperature before she regains her composure. "Perhaps you tell me what you remember and I'll confirm what you know."

"You were raped," Trav states. I gasp in surprise and watch Lacey's eyes widen as she clutches Trav's thigh. "You were beaten, then you were raped again." My hand darts to Lacey's and I watch as her eyes squeeze shut. "You woke up b.l.o.o.d.y. They were still there."

My heart beats against my chest, the blood in my ears causing me to feel light-headed. Taking my eyes off Lacey momentarily, I look at Cheryl. Her face is pale. She's looking at the ground.

"Yes," she utters, ashamed.

"After that," Travis continues bluntly, stating fact after graphic fact. "They sat me on that f.u.c.king couch and made me watch them mess with you again."

"Yes. Oh G.o.d, Darren . . ." Cheryl weeps uncontrollably, calling for Trav's dad.

"Don't you say his name," Travis bellows. "My dad is dead and hearing you say his name makes me sick."

She stares at Travis with a blank expression. Each in a mental tug of war with a past neither of them wants to remember.

"They didn't let me move from the couch," Travis continues. "They made me watch them touch you."

"Stop," she pleads.

My hand holding Lacey's continues to squeeze tightly. I can't let her go. We're keeping each other grounded. Trav's breathing is ragged. His voice starts to shake. "I watched my mother being raped by two men and she was so f.u.c.king out of it I had to do it alone."

"Stop," she pleads, this time louder.

Travis moves his arm around Lacey's back, bringing her nearly face to face with me as we both settle our heads against his chest. I hear Lacey whisper something, but can't make out her words.

"Lacey's father," Travis says. "Who is he?"

The moment Lacey hears his question, her eyes look directly into mine and I can't do anything but watch furious pain pa.s.s over her face. Instantly, I no longer recognize her.

Cheryl says nothing.

"I asked who Lacey's father is."

Lacey, putting the pieces together quickly, looks at Cheryl. "Mom?"

"Stop," Cheryl begs, this time through her own tears.

"My dad's name is Barry," Lacey explains to Travis. "I haven't seen him in . . ."

"Your father's name was Manny."

The air in the room evaporates. I suck in a breath and Travis pushes me away so he can grab Lacey with both arms. He positions himself in front of her, kneeling.

Pulling her head up, Travis frames her face. "This doesn't change you, Lacey. This is dirty and you're not."

"Manny was killed in a motorcycle wreck two years ago," Cheryl adds. "He served time for what he did to me."

"That's why you hate me," Lacey draws out softly.

Cheryl doesn't say anything.

Travis moves to sit next to Lacey again, but she stops him. She looks at Travis, but her words are meant for her mother. "I always knew there was something I had to be missing," she whispers. "Some reason unknown to me why my mom couldn't stand to look at me."

"I loved you," Cheryl states. "I was sick and when I found out I was pregnant I thought of aborting the pregnancy. I almost went through with it, but couldn't."

Travis pulls Lacey closer to him, and then focuses back on Cheryl. "Why'd you leave my dad?"

"Because it was what he wanted. He was angry. After it happened we tried to stay together. I begged him to forgive me for putting you in danger."

"He didn't forgive you," Travis a.s.sumes out loud.

Cheryl's head shakes. "No, and I was spending more time trying to keep him than heal myself. I was using more and more to forget the pain. It was too late for my marriage, so I left."

I watch Trav's eyes soften. He's softening toward her with pity. "You were a good mom, I think. From what I remember anyway."

"I was a good mom to you. It wasn't until I found out I was pregnant with Lacey I realized I had no business being anyone's mother."

"Travis," Lacey whispers, calling his name for protection. "Please make her go away."

Travis nods and stands. Immediately Lacey moves toward me and grabs my hand. Tears fall from my eyes but not from sadness for what happened to Cheryl all those years ago. The tears are for her kids; those she left in pain in the wake of her f.u.c.ked-up life.

"You need to go," Trav tells her.

"And never come back," I add, looking at Lacey sitting next to me, so lost and broken.

Cheryl stands, her legs having a hard time keeping balance. "I hope I gave you whatever you were looking for."

"Yes," Travis replies.

"I'll go," Cheryl says, walking toward him.

Travis backs up and points to the door without another word. Cheryl walks to it and doesn't stop until she's closed it behind her.

The wail of anguish that leaves Lacey breathless is heart wrenching.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN.

Travis "SARAH, CAN YOU call Hayden for me?" I ask while holding Lacey on the couch. "She can't drive and he needs to get here soon. If he doesn't answer, have him paged at the Ward."

Sarah nods and heads toward the kitchen, surprisingly doing exactly what I've asked.

"Lacey," I call, hoping she'll hear me. She hasn't said a word in the twenty minutes that have pa.s.sed since our mother left. "I didn't want you to hear any of that. I wasn't sure it was true until today."