Roses For Sophie Part 16

Sophie frowned. Hasn't the doctor advised you against drinking?'

d.a.m.n the doctors!' her grandfather declared. You're engaged to a man I heartily approve of, and no doctor can stop me drinking to that!'

When Sophie opened her mouth to protest, Daphne's expression implored her not to make a fuss.

I'll go and get some from the cellar,' Rigby said.

Call me psychic, Rigby,' Daphne's voice was a little overbright, I've already got a bottle chilling.'

Rigby beamed. Don't know what I'd do without you, Daphne.'

You'd be at least half an hour late for everything and turn up wearing a tie that clashed with your s.h.i.+rt.'

Amid more laughter, Sophie willed herself to relax against Logan and forced her mind away from dwelling on her grandfather's ill health. Instead, she allowed herself to give in to a dream that her engagement to Logan was a reality. How wonderful it would be if her handsome lover was her fiance for all the right reasons. The need to hear him utter the words I love you' was becoming a tangible ache. Even if he couldn't voice those words, she wished he would feel love for her and express that sentiment by bringing her ma.s.ses of red roses. That gesture would declare his love to her in a way that this glittering jewel on her finger didn't come close to doing. If Logan ever turned up on her door carrying red roses, it would mean so much more than the priceless diamond and emeralds that seemed to mock her each time they sparkled in the sunlight.

Why don't you show Logan up to your suite and then join us for lunch?' Daphne suggested.

Feeling all sorts of a fraud, Sophie took Logan's hand they made their way to her suite of rooms.

Alone again at last,' he said as he closed the door and drew her into his arms.

Sensing he was about to kiss her, Sophie lowered her head a fraction. I think they bought our engagement.' All the while they'd been with Daphne and her grandfather, Logan had been so attentive, so lover-like, Sophie had found it all too hard not to fall for the act herself. Every look, every touch, was so loving from the man who professed not to do love.

His lips were warm against her temple. Make it real, Sophie.'

No. No. No!

Pulling out of his embrace, she took agitated steps away from him before running a hand through her hair and swinging back to face him. I can't marry you and I sure as h.e.l.l don't have the time to play mother to Charlotte when I've got Carlisle Mining to run.' Her words were fast and panicked. This was such a mistake. If we break off the engagement before the court case, it's going to look to the court like you can't do commitment. You should have found someone else.'

Pain lanced through her as she uttered the words. Had she really just told this living, breathing man that she loved he should marry someone else? What was she thinking? She wasn't making sense, and this irrationality was an indication of her inner turmoil. G.o.d, she wanted to marry him, but how could she when he wanted her for the wrong reasons?

Taking a step toward her, his voice was calm as he said, Hey, what's brought on this panic?'

I've never been a liar, Logan, and that's what this engagement is.' Feeling miserable, she crossed her arms defensively across her chest and hung her head. It's what I've been ever since I walked into the restaurant at Centrepoint Tower.'

You're being pretty tough on yourself. Didn't you see the pleasure on Rigby's face at our announcement?'

She felt the firmness of his fingers under her chin as he cupped her face and urged her to look up at him.

The next few months are going to be tough for you, as your grandfather battles this cancer. It's going to be even tougher if we a.s.sume that Rigby will hand over control of Carlisle Mining to you and you have the company to run as well. I can help you through all you have to face.'

No. It's something I have to do by myself.'

He dropped his hands to her shoulders. Why?'

Why? The question ricocheted around her head. Because it's my responsibility.'

You think your grandfather will want you to shoulder that burden alone? You told me yourself this is one of the very reason he wants you to marry.' Frustration was etched into his features.

You'll be busy establis.h.i.+ng your base in Australia. You'll be busy with Charlotte.' Oh dear, that sounded like a complaint from a sulky child who thought she was neglected.

Taking some time away from work this week, I've realised I've been working way too hard. There's no need any more for me to put in the hours I've been working. I've got good people in place in Canada. Setting up in Australia may require some long days initially, but there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to find people here that I can place the same degree of trust in.' He ran his hands down her arms, and she uncrossed them. There was an expression of total sincerity in his regard as he said, I've never done anything in my life by halves, Sophie. I mean to be there for Charlotte, and for you. Your position at Carlisle is important to you and I will support you in any way I can - although I'll also try to encourage you to get to the point where you can rely on your executives and not be indispensible.'

She walked to a couch and sat down on it. I'm feeling lost.'

Sitting beside her, he took her hands in his. The caring in his eyes made her want to lean into him. You're not lost, Sophie. I've found you.'

Oh, gosh. Her heart tripped over itself at his words.

Being with Logan felt right. More than anything, she wished she could accept his support. She didn't s.h.i.+ft away, merely battled to stop herself from raising her arms around his neck and snuggling into him.

I'm really confused about so much right now,' she admitted.

Talk to me.'

I don't know what I want anymore.'

He didn't say anything, just waited for her to continue.

Ever since I can remember, I thought I wanted to take over from Grandfather one day. I worked really hard to learn all there is to know about the mining industry. I've competed with Felix, sure I could do a better job, and that the job should be mine.'

Are you telling me you don't want that anymore?'

I'm saying I don't know what I want anymore.' She shook her head while confusion swirled inside her. All my life I've focussed upon taking over the reins from Grandfather. When I was told I couldn't have children, I focussed completely on my work. Faced with the responsibility of the company now, I really don't know what I want and I'm not even sure I'm up to the task.'

The touch of his hands as he reached and held hers made her pulse leap.

I have no doubt you're up to the task. What's making you uncertain?'

You.'

He raised his eyebrows. Care to elaborate?'

I've been a different person these last few days, since I've met you. I feel like I've lost myself. It's harder to keep up that tough exterior I'm so used to presenting, and without it I don't know whether I'll survive in the corporate world.'

Ask yourself whether you've lost yourself, sweetheart, or whether you're discovering who you really are.'

She felt her eyes widen at his wisdom.

Stop worrying about how others expect you to present or behave and start living the way you want to,' he continued. All you have to do is be yourself.'

Her breathing stopped for several seconds at the sheer impact of his words. When it resumed it came in choppy little bursts that were in danger of becoming sobs.

No. She would not turn into an emotional train wreck and break down in his arms again.

Sophie,' he urged, you don't need to present a tough exterior for people to listen to you or to respect you. You're intelligent, considerate, and you have a conscience. That separates you from the majority of corporate heavy-weights and puts you ahead of them.'

Funny, because the words he'd used to describe her were exactly the qualities she'd attributed him with. Was he right?

You need to relax and be yourself,' he urged.

Would it be enough?

She wasn't quite sure how to express her feelings without giving too much away. The thought of you finding the wife you need makes me sad.'

Because?'

Because even when I'm telling you I'm not going to marry you, I'm sad to think of our relations.h.i.+p coming to an end.' And I can't stand the thought of another woman in your arms.

He merely raised his eyebrows and his expression said it all - that she was a goose because he wanted to marry her. How did she explain?

Logan, I feel I'm becoming dependent upon you, and I don't ever want to be dependent upon anyone. That's not who I want to be.'

He withdrew his hands, stood up and ran his hands through his hair. You're so strong, Sophie, I can't see you ever becoming dependent upon me in an unhealthy way.'

Was it rational that even though she was in emotional turmoil she was very physically aware of him? Just watching him run his fingers through his hair made her want to run her hands through that dark pelt. She wanted his hands on her body, cupping her b.r.e.a.s.t.s...

If by dependence you mean using me as a sounding board to talk about whatever's making you happy or bothering you - if it means doing some joint problem-solving - that sounds more like a normal relations.h.i.+p to me. A relations.h.i.+p that's built on friends.h.i.+p and trust.'

Your magic elements for a relations.h.i.+p.' Only the word she wanted was missing.

And pa.s.sion,' he added.

Loads of l.u.s.t,' she declared huskily. l.u.s.t that pounded through her blood whenever she saw him, whenever she thought of him. l.u.s.t she simply couldn't deny. G.o.d, Logan, I want to make love with you right now more than I want to draw my next breath.'

Then, we're both in trouble,' he groaned, and lunch is just going to have to wait.'

Sophie barely had time to catch her breath before he stood, took her hand and led her through to her bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed, reached up to clasp his hard biceps and pulled him down with her. They tumbled together until he was on top of her, his body pressing hers into the softness of the mattress. Hands frantic to touch each other everywhere, they each began stripping off each other's clothing so they could lie together, flesh against flesh.

His mouth sought hers and she responded eagerly, parting her lips instantly, her fingers spearing into his hair just as they'd wanted to do moments before.

Logan overwhelmed her. The taste of mint on his tongue was divine, as was the intoxicating masculine scent of his cologne. She savoured every touch, every stroke of his hands against her flesh, as they moulded her b.u.t.tocks, pressed into the small of her back and encouraged her into closer contact. She arched her back when he cupped her breast so that she pushed more firmly against the heat of his palm. Reacting to the way his fingers began caressing her nipple, the rosy peak went rigid.

Desperate for contact with his erection, she reached down between them and clasped his length. So thick and hard, he was very ready for her.

Any more of that and I'm going to lose so much blood from my brain I'll pa.s.s out,' he rasped against her mouth as she stroked up and down.

She needed to draw in a few rapid breaths herself as she gripped his hips hard and sought to position him where she needed him to be. No further encouragement required, Logan parted her with his fingers and thrust inside her.

Oh.' She gasped at the divine perfection of their joining.

He stilled for a moment, and poured all his desire into a kiss before he moved within her.

There were no more words. Sophie was incapable of everything outside absorbing each superb sensation as she picked up the rhythm. Her b.u.t.tocks tensed as she raised her hips to meet his thrusts, wanting to take all of him as deeply as she could. Soon, she reached the point where she was oblivious to where she ended and he began and knew only this incredible union where they both sought the release of their own shared utopia. Her heart hammered all the way up her throat while her pulse pounded in her ears, and her body throbbed with a need only Logan could fill.

You feel so good,' he rasped.

As much as she wanted to reach her climax, she also wanted to draw out this pleasure forever. Making love with Logan moved her profoundly.

They cried each other's names simultaneously as sensation exploded around them. Her journey back to their surroundings was punctuated by his soft kisses.

This can be our pleasure for the rest of our days, Sophie.'

Her eyelids fluttered open and she gave him a smile that felt languorous and satisfied. You don't fight fair.'

I want you to marry me more than I've ever wanted anything in my life,' he told her, his voice hoa.r.s.e, his eyes smouldering with desire.

Wow.

G.o.d, she was tempted. She pressed her lips together, determined to smother the affirmative response that wanted to break free. She would not agree to marriage while their bodies were still joined together and she was wrapped in the magnificent afterglow of their lovemaking. He wanted her but he still didn't love her.

Bring me red roses, Logan, that declare your love.

She shook her head, but deep inside her a little seed of hope germinated. Logan desired her. By his own admission he wanted her as his wife more than anything he'd wanted in his life. Every look, each caress, and all his consideration for her suggested that he felt more deeply for her than he was admitting. Was it possible he was starting to love her but just didn't know what love was, or that he didn't want to put that name to it?

Maybe because of his rejection as a child and as an adult, it wasn't that he didn't believe in love but was afraid of it. Perhaps he was afraid of the hurt he'd suffer if it were withdrawn, just as she was afraid to face the failure of another marriage. If that were the case, they were a little alike. Both were damaged emotionally, so perhaps each of them could play a part in healing the other.

Chapter 13.

I'll help you with that,' Sophie told Daphne as the older woman got up from the table and started collecting the lunch dishes.

Good,' Rigby said, standing up. You two women do what you have to do. I want to show Logan the winery. I didn't have a chance on Wednesday.' He gave Sophie a broad wink. I believe he was in too much of a hurry to race back to you.'

Sophie's hand stilled mid-air for a few seconds as she reached for Logan's plate. A small furrow appeared between her finely arched eyebrows. Uncertainty emanated from her in waves and Logan guessed she didn't want him spending time alone with her grandfather. His lover had serious trust issues to overcome. The question was, which one of them didn't she trust - her grandfather or him?

I'd enjoy a tour through the winery, Sir,' Logan replied. Sophie would learn she could trust him.

The old man waved his hand. Don't sir me, son. As far as I know, I haven't been knighted by the queen, and the label just makes me feel too darned old. I thought we established the other day that you should call me Rigby.'

Logan inclined his head in agreement and followed the older man out of the gazebo. Considering Rigby's medical diagnosis and prognosis, Sophie's grandfather was doing remarkably well. n.o.body would ever guess he had such serious health concerns.

They got into a golf buggy and Rigby drove off toward the winery.

You've done well with your mining organisation. I admire the way you've been able to satisfy the environmentalists,' Rigby said.

It's certainly paid to have high-profile environmental scientists as part of the team.' Logan cast his eyes over the healthy grape vines that stretched out in rows on either side of them. I've always loved the land and feel it's our responsibility to safeguard it for future generations.'

It was hard to tell whether the sound Rigby made was one of agreement or cynicism. He slowed the golf buggy and when they came to the intersection where the private driveway met the traffic headed for the winery on the main road, he brought the vehicle to a complete stop. He took his eyes off the road for a second and glanced out over the vineyards. Logan watched the old man's mouth tighten and saw that his fingers gripped more firmly around the steering wheel.

Fixing a steely gaze on Logan, Rigby asked, Do you love my granddaughter?'