Eyewitness. Part 16

He lay back, swearing and muttering under his breath. And then it was her turn to say, "What?"

"I said, the d.a.m.n condoms are in the other room! "

She tilted her head and inquired drolly, "How come there's never a condom around when you need one?"

It was, for Doug, a totally new experience-to be giggling at a time like that! Only with Joy, he thought, could such a thing be possible.

"All right-that's it," he growled, and hauled her up and over his body to where he could get his arms around her again. "A man can take just so much of that." She was laughing and breathless and totally unsuspecting. Before she had any idea in the world what he was about to do, he had her over his shoulder in the cla.s.sic fireman's carry and was striding with her into the bedroom.

After the first squawks of surprise and outrage, she remarked , " " This isn't very dignified, you know: '

He chuckled. "Yeah, well... neither is s.e.x."

He was sure it wouldn't ever be with Joy. He knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt. It would be. fun. It would be wild, a whole kaleidoscope of emotions znd sensations from the most deeply touching to the almost terrifying. It might be a kittenish romp through suns.h.i.+ne meadows, or a dizzying midnight ride on a roller coaster, or anything at all in between. The possibilities seemed limitless, and Doug knew he'd never wanted anything more than to spend the rest of his life exploring every single one of them.

She was so wonderfully uninhibited-that was what he found so extraordinary and delightful about her. Nothing dismayed or embarra.s.sed her, which of course freed him of those handicaps, as well. Having decided to give herself to him, she simply gave it all, holding absolutely nothing back-in that respect, at least. For Doug, her physical and emotional openness made the contrast with that part of her she couldn't-or wouldn't-share with him all the more frustrating. It was a dull pain, like a toothache that he could just about manage to forget. for a little while.

To forget. for a little while. That was all she wanted. The blizzard outside-the whistling wind and swirling white seemed to Joy like a curtain G.o.d had drawn between now and forever. As long as it raged, she didn't have to think about what lay ahead. She knew there might not even be a tomorrow for her, or any future for the two of them, but for now, for this moment, at least, they were together, and that was all that mattered. She wanted not to have to think, only to laugh; not to talk, simply to love. But of course, nothing about it was simple, and there was an underlying despair in both her laughter and her loving, as in those who danoe and make merry on the eve of battle.

"Make love to me," she demanded fiercely as he laid her down, reaching greedily for him when he straightened and pulled away from her momentarily. She gazed at him from beneath pa.s.sion-weighted eyelids, drinking in the sight of him as he towered above her, one knee braced on the mattress between her open thighs. He seemed huge. overwhelmingly masculine. Desire curled and knotted in her belly; reason went up in smoke, obliterated by the primal fires that burned inside her. She watched him put on the condom in a state of seething impatience, resenting it with a pa.s.sion that was almost personal, as if it were a third person standing between her and the man she craved.

But then. Still kneeling over her, he hooked his arms under her knees, lifted and spread her legs wide so that she was completely open to him, then drove into her with one powerful, joining thrust. She arched and cried out, not in protest, but in gladness, in welcome, in praise.

She felt herself engulfed and enfolded, overwhelmed by his warmth and strength, his life's force, all that he was and that had attracted her to him from the first moment-only now it was so much more. Now there was the raw s.e.xuality, the pure animal magnetism of male to female. And still more. Because now he-this man, this MacDougal-was hers.

He let go of her legs and laced his fingers through hers, pressing her hands into the pillows so that there was nothing to hold him back, nothing to impede his movement. She felt the gathering power in his muscles, the surging strength , and his quivering efforts to hold it back as he drove himself deep, deep inside her.

Her ms tinct was to close her eyes, but instead she opened them and looked straight into his, defying the raging fires she saw burning there. His features were suffused with pa.s.sion , dark and fierce and unfamiliar to her, but she wasn't afraid. Something dark and fierce and wild within her recognized , answered and rushed to meet it, pa.s.sion for pa.s.sion , fire with fire. She felt herself calling to him from the midst of the flames, from the deepest part of her being, telling him with her eyes what she couldn't with words: Oh , MacDougal, how I do love yocc !

But. her eyes would close, and her body begin to throb and swell, and then to quake and tremble. She tightened her fingers convulsively around his and gasped, "Please.. don't... let me" But the rest was only sobs.

Dimly she heard him groan, felt him arch backward for a tense, suspenseful moment, then drive himself home, deep into her pulsing body, filling her up, completing her. at last.

I love you. I love you. "

" Shh. I know, I know. "

Had she said it out loud? She'd hadn't thought so, hadn't meant to, but he was looking at her as if he knew, as if he'd heard her somehow. He was kissing her eyes, her mouth, her cheeks, her throat, and then his arms were around her and they were rolling over and holding on to each other, and laughing in sheer relief.

"Oh, man," MacDougal said along time later, still sounding dazed. "You are really something, you know that? "

"So are you..." She felt groggy, utterly sated.

But he shook his head. "I'm nothin' special. But you... G.o.d, when I think about what you've been through..: His arms tightened around her. " What you've survived. : He nudged her head with his chin. "How did you, by the way? That's something I've been really curious about. What in the world did you do, all those years? How did you manage to drop off the face of the earth like that? I'm a pretty good detective, lady, and I mean to tell you, I tried real hard to find you: '

She drew along, shaky breath, then laughed softly. "Well, of course, the first thing I did-after I got shot at the second time-was... I had to find some clothes."

" Clothes? " He lifted his head off the pillows in order to look at her.

To make it easier for him, she raised herself on one elbow' Think about it, MacDougal. I was pretty conspicuous at that point. I was wearing a dress with sequins, for Pete's sake. "

"Sequins?" His body shook with laughter. "No kidding ? ', "I'd been singing at the club, remember? And I couldn't very well go back to the apartment after... what happened" She paused. "Do you really want to know what I did?"

"Yeah," he said, "I do."

She snuggled back down in the circle of his arm. "Well , okay. After I got shot at the second time, I kind of got mad-"

"That," said MacDougal with a wry chuckle, "I can believe"

"Hey-be quiet. Anyway, I knew I had to get rid of the car, so I drove down to the garment district and parked it, and left the keys in it-stop laughing, MacDougal. That's what I did, okay? Then I bought some clothes at the Alleya you know that place where all the junk that n.o.body wants t winds up? Just a pair of jeans and a couple of s.h.i.+rts, some shoes and underthings. After that I didn't have much money c left, but I wanted to get as far from L. A. as I could, so I walked to the Greyhound bus station and bought a ticket to Oxnard. "

"Oxnard? Why Oxnard?"

She shrugged. "It was one of the next buses leaving, and I didn't have enough money to go to Bakersfield, I guess.

Anyway, it turned out that almost everybody on the bus spoke Spanish-they were all Mexican migrant workers probably half of them illegals. It was February. They were all going to Oxnard to pick strawberries. "

"Ah..: said MacDougal on along exhalation. " Strawberries"

"Yeah. Well, that's what gave me the idea. I had a pair of nail scissors in my purse, and... when I got off the bus, the first thing I did was, I went into the restroom and cut all my hair of"

"G.o.d..."

She smiled. "All that Hollywood hair." She was silent for a little wh11e.

Then she raised herself on her elbow again and looked somberly down at him. "So that's how I did it, MacDougal I became an illegal-an undoc.u.mented worker.

There's a whole subculture of them in this country, you know. Back then it was fairly easy to find work. I picked strawberries, lettuce, celery-you name it. I also worked as a domestic, when I could. Every time it looked as though the INS was about to close in, I'd move on. The last time it happened was about this years ago, down in San Diego. I almost got caught in an INS raid, and I thought, it had been such along time, you know-and I'd saved up some money.

So I took a chance and applied for a name change on my social security card, got a driver's license, got the job at Saint Vincent's. rented the duplex, bought the Bronco.

Even got a cat. "

She sighed and lay back down, this time with her head on MacDougal's chest. "For a while it seemed like... life was almost normal."

"Normal!" He snorted, and for a moment she thought he must be angry. "Why didn't you ever try to contact us again? For G.o.d's sake, Joy, you saw someone kill your friend. How could you stay silent all those years? That's what I can't understand. I know it must have been a shock finding out the killer was a cop, but-"

"But they said I did it! It was in all the newspapers, on TV, everywhere. Who was going to believe me? It was my word against a cop's. Who would believe a c.o.c.ktail waitress , huh? You tell me, MacDougal-who would you believe ?"

He didn't say anything, but after a while began stroking her hair again, combing it gently away from her face with his fingers. Finally he drew along, uneven breath and asked softly, "What about your family?"

"My family?" She said it on a bright little hiccup of unexpected pain.

"Yeah-you never went to them for help?" She shook her head and went on shaking it while he asked the other questions. "Never even called them? They never knew what was happening to you? Jeez, Joy, why not? I can't believe " " " What I said to you was true. " She pulled away from him and sat up, drawing in her knees as she had before, hugging them against the aching place in her heart. " I don't have a family. Not anymore. "

"What the h.e.l.l are you talking about? Did something "

She gave her head a shake and looked back at him across her shoulder, trying her best to smile. "No, nothing happened to them, MacDougal. They just decided they didn't want me, that's all. Finally got fed up with their black sheep, I guess. Kicked me out of the family-end of story. When I left home, my daddy told me I couldn't come back, and he meant what he said. I called a few times, after I got to California , but they'd just hang up on me. Then one day, my little sister answered the phone. The oldest of the little ones-Sarah. I think she was... let's see, she would have been twelve at the time. And she, um...: She tried to laugh, but it just wouldn't come. After so long, she was amazed at how much it still hurt. She turned quickly away from the dark compa.s.sion in MacDougal's gaze and finished in a whisper. " She told me she didn't have a sister named Mary anymore. I pretty much got the message then, you know? " j MacDougal was muttering to himself, quietly and vehemently swearing. She straightened her back and drew a short, calming breath before she looked at him again. She even managed to smile. " "That's okay. It is, you know. In a way, I guess it was a ; good experience for me. I had to grow up pretty fast, and I really did learn a lot from the homeless people, the illegals. About you know, survival. And about what's really important : C.

"And?" he murmured. "What's that?"

"Oh, food, shelter-that has to come first. That's just C pure instinct-survival, you know? You can't deny your basic needs. Then... friends, I guess, people who care about you. And after that, a lot of little things. You appreciate things like suns.h.i.+ne. Flowers. Kindness. Babies. A nice , shady tree." "What about love?" MacDougal's voice was gravelly. " " That's not important? " She shook her head somberly. " "That a luxury-the man-woman kind, anyway. The other kind, though-the friends.h.i.+p kind-I guess you can't survive very long without that. Pa.s.sion, romantic love-that you can't depend on. It sometimes goes away, you know? Lovers will let you down. Friends never..." Her voice broke unexpectedly. She i rolled away from him and fled to the bathroom. "" Preacher," yelled Daisy, " " what are you doin' in there? ; Come on outta the kitchen." Preacher's voice floated back to her, suspicious in its innocence" Just checking, Mrs. Pepper ... just checking. Our C Mary's policeman friend does seem to keep a well-stocked larder. including a goodly supply of nice cold"

"You ain't drinkin' the cop's beer. Now get your rosy nose outta that icebox. We agreed on it-we don't touch nothin' unless it's absolutely necessary."

"I'm getting' hungry," said JoJo. He was lying flat on the floor with the Siamese cat rec.u.mbent on his chest, posed like a sphinx.

"Eating is a necessary function," Preacher pointed out, coming to stand in the kitchen doorway. "We've already disposed of everything we brought from the car. I don't think Mary would want us to starve while we're sitting here waiting for her to come back."

"Well... all right," said Daisy grudgingly, "I guess it's okay if we eat. But no beer " She was eying the cat, who was staring fixedly at the mynah bird in its cage. Every once in a while his tail would jerk and twitch, swiping JoJo across the face. "I think we better feed that cat, too, while we're at it. Maybe you shouldn't'a let him out, JoJo. I don't like the way he's lookin' at that ugly bird "

"Yeah, but he was makin' a lot of noise," said JoJo, looking worried. "I don't think he liked it, bein' all locked up like that "

"Yeah, well, we ain't gonna like bein' locked up much either," said Daisy morosely. "We gotta be crazy, breakin' into a cop's house."

"We didn't break in, the other guy did," Preacher reminded her. "We're just... taking care of the place until Mary comes back, that's all. Kind of like baby-sitting: He c.o.c.ked his head, pleased with the sound of that. " Yeah, that's it. We're house-sitting: '

"Right," said Daisy. "Tell that to the cop." She took off her baseball cap and slapped it restlessly against her leg.

"What would you have had us do?" Preacher inquired matter-of-factly. "Wait in the driveway? It's raining out there: '

"Yeah, I know. I just wish we hadn't had to go off and leave Mary's car like that."

"The car will be okay," Preacher said comfortingly. "The authorities have no doubt towed it off somewhere. I'm sure the officer will know right where to find it: He paused rubbing at his beard. " I must confess, though, I am a bit worried about Mary. I fear she may be in serious danger. "

"Yeah," said Daisy grimly, "No foolin'. And there's nothin' we can do except sit here and wait. "

"But she's with the cop, ain't she?" said JoJo, sitting up suddenly and looking from Daisy to Preacher and back again. "And he's a good guy, right? He's gonna take care of her, don't worry."

He smiled, which was probably what caused the mynah bird to go fluttering into a corner of his cage, yelling, " " Help ! Help ! "

"He ain't gonna let nothin' bad happen to our Mary."

"I hope you're right," said Preacher fervently. "I do hope you're right."

Chapter 15.

Doug woke Joy as gently as he knew how, brus.h.i.+ng a kiss on her sweet, vulnerable mouth. And when she smiled and reached for him without opening her eyes, he chuckled and kissed her again, then told her the news.

"Hey, it's stopped snowing. Looks like they'll be opening the roads soon."

She opened her eyes and took her arms from around his neck. "It's stopped?" she croaked, already scrambling out from under the covers. "How-how long... ?"

"Hey, take it easy," he soothed, laughing at her as she stood swaying tipsily, groping for support. "There's no hurry-it'll take the snowplows a while to get around to the side roads, anyway. Hey-come here, there's something I want you to see."

He wrapped her like a mummy in the comforter and walked her into the cabin's main room and across it to the front door. When he opened it, the cold made her gasp. He put his arms around her, enfolding her from behind, lowered his face to hers and murmured, "Now, look at that ... did you ever see anything so beautiful in your life?"

She shook her head, saying nothing.

He filled his lungs with the sharp, clear air and sighed, "Ah ... yes. I'm a Michigan boy, and I don't really miss the cold winters, but every now and then I do miss the snow. Especially when it's like this, all new and untouched." He nudged her head with his chin. "Did you have snow where you grew up?"

Again she shook her head. "Not like this." Her voice sounded rusty. The sound of snow falling from a weighted branch with a soft, plopping sound made her start as if she'd heard gunshots.

Realizing belatedly that she was s.h.i.+vering even in the down comforter, Doug drew her back and closed the door. He kissed her neck noisily and said, "Why don't you get in the shower and warm up while I fix us something to eat? I've had mine, but there should be plenty of hot water. Go onI 'll find you some warm clothes to put on. Not that I don't approve of what you're wearing, but.. : '

But she wouldn't respond, either to his teasing or the nuzzling that went with it. She seemed. mechanical, almost numb, he thought, as if she'd shut the vital, feeling part of herself away somewhere he couldn't reach.

So instead he found himself responding to her mood. Feeling increasingly chilled and uneasy, he guided her to the bathroom and went off to look for something for her to wear. He was already fully dressed, himself, in thermals and jeans and even an old pair of basketball shoes he'd found. He managed to scrounge up another pair of thermals that looked as if they'd fit Joy, and a sweats.h.i.+rt to go over them along with her jeans. Shoes were still going to be a problem , but he figured he'd fix lunch first and tackle that one later.

He was in the kitchen opening cans of clam chowder when he heard the scuff and thump of someone climbing the steps to the cabin's front deck.

He uttered a single, sibilant swear word and dropped both can and opener in the sink, crossed the cabin in an ms tant pausing only long enough to slip his weapon from the gun belt he'd left lying over the back of the couch. Flattened against the wall next to a window, he fingered back the curtain the barest fraction of an inch and looked out. Then he said the same word again, this time along with a bit of wry laughter.

Feeling more than a bit foolish, he reached behind him and tucked the gun into the waistband of his jeans and pulled his sweats.h.i.+rt down over it. Then he stepped over to the door and opened it wide.

"W-h-h.e.l.l, hey there, buddy," he said as Jim Shannon stepped across the threshold, " " what in the h.e.l.l are you doing here? Didn't you get my message? "

"Message?" Shannon was smiling, but the smile seemed odd, somehow-stretched and frozen. He had both hands in his pockets and his shoulders were hunched, as if he was feeling the cold.

Doug closed the door behind him. "I called late last night. Wanted to make sure you weren't going to be using the cabin this weekend. Carol told me you were in Palm Springs: '

"Yeah, I talked to her this morning... " Shannon's eyes were restless, darting around the cabin. He s.h.i.+fted them back to Doug. "So-where is she? The Donnelly womanI know you brought her here."

He was still smiling that fixed, frozen smile. Doug felt the first little fris son of warning go slithering down his spine. Something isn't right here.

He began to feel a peculiar sense of unreality, as if he were watching himself and Jim through one-way gla.s.s, watching them say all the right things, go through all the motions of normalcy, when he knew things were not normal. He just couldn't make contact with what it was that was so wrong.

He clapped Jim on the shoulder, laughed and shook his head. "What are you worrying about that for? Didn't they tell you? The first thing you've got to learn about being a chief is, you let the Indians do all the work. Hey, how 'bout some lunch-I was just about to warm up some soup. You look about frozen, buddy. How'd you get here, by the way? I didn't hear your car. " They got the roads plowed already ? "

Shannon shook his head. "I left it a ways back." His roving glance flicked at the door to the smaller bedroom, the one they hadn't used. Then it s.h.i.+fted to the other door , which was partly open. He indicated it with a nod. " " She in there? "

"Come on," Doug said softly, almost pleading, "leave it alone, Jim. You don't want to get involved in this: '

The smile stretched a fraction of a centimeter wider. "I am involved-you know that" His eyes suddenly narrowed and slid past Doug to focus on something behind him.

Doug turned, still with that strange sense of detachment, of makqbelieve, as if everything was perfectly all right. He saw Joy standing there in the doorway, wearing her jeans and a too-big sweats.h.i.+rt, with a towel wrapped around her head like a turban, and he heard himself say, "Joy, there you are. Hey, here's somebody I want you to meet."

But he could see from the look on her face that she and Jim Shannon had met before.

The funny thing was, he felt almost no real sense of surprise Only self-disgust, foolishness and utter failure. He wondered how long his guts had known the truth, and why in the h.e.l.l it had taken his head so long to figure it out. Because it made such perfect sense, filled in all the blanks, answered all the questions. Why Joy had been acting so strangely, why she hadn't wanted to tell him. Oh, G.o.d, he thought, how she must have felt when she realized who. so alone and helpless. He felt a terrible, crus.h.i.+ng weight in his chest when he thought about all the times she'd looked at him with anguish in her eyes. Who would believe me?