The Wayfarer's Lamentation Part 5

When I woke up the next morning, I felt a chill.

My head hurt, too. Maybe I'd caught a cold.

My eyes fell to the carpet.

The remains of the article were no longer scattered around. Yesterday, I had forced myself to crawl around and pick the pieces up, put them in a paper bag, and then put that into a plastic bag with the other trash to carry it out to the curb in the middle of the night so my mother wouldn't find it.

Why did Miu Inoue choose death?

Even now that I was awake, those words were seared into the back of my mind like a brand, stinging and painful.

That Miu had jumped because of me.

I bit down on my lip, lifted my heavy body, and managed to get changed.

When I went to the living room on the first floor, breakfast was laid out.

"Good morning, Konoha. Oh, are you going out again today?"

"Yeah...I'm going shopping; then I'm going to the hospital to visit a cla.s.smate."

"Didn't you do that yesterday, too?"

"I didn't get to see her yesterday."

As I talked with my mother, I thought about other things.

I forced myself to swallow the broccoli soup and smoked-salmon sandwich that I couldn't taste while my mind was filled with the article I'd read yesterday.

I'd hurt Miu, hadn't I?

And Miu had hated me, hadn't she?

These questions that offered no answers dug into my heart.

Should I really go see Kotobuki when I was like this? Would I be able to act normally in front of her?

"I'll be back later."

I finished my meal and sluggishly stood up.

It was after three in the afternoon when I reached the train station outside the hospital. The reason it had taken me so long was that I had, in fact, been conflicted about going the whole time.

I moved forward with a heavy heart as I listened to the clock's bell.

It wasn't good to visit Kotobuki while I was thinking about Miu.

But cla.s.ses were starting tomorrow for the third term, and I might not be able to come to the hospital very much after that...I had to see her today.

Dragging my body, which couldn't keep out the cold, I went past the reception area.

I tried going by Kotobuki's room, but her bed was empty again today.

Speaking of which...I'd left flowers and a note for her yesterday, but Kotobuki hadn't sent me a text or called. Maybe it really did bother her that I'd come to visit.

That was a convenient explanation. But if Kotobuki didn't want to see me, then it was better that I didn't.

I decided not to wait for her and just go home, and I left the room.

My chills and headache were getting worse, and something hazy was spreading through my chest. I was walking down the hall feeling guilty when it happened.

A girl screamed from around the corner ahead.

"Don't go near Inoue!"

That voice- My heart gave a little leap.

Wasn't that Kotobuki?

"You are absolutely awful!"

Who in the world was she talking to? Her voice was so harsh, and she sounded angry.

I walked quickly in the direction the voice was coming from and turned the corner.

"An evil girl like you has no right to see him!!" Kotobuki shouted with burning eyes, a large bandage stuck on her face. She was supporting herself on an aluminum cane fixed with a ring around her right arm.

She wore a sweater over her pajamas.

Standing in front of her, her back to me, was a girl with two aluminum crutches under her arms. She was also dressed in pajamas.

Her body was slim like a boy's.

Her hair was short like a boy's.

Kotobuki gasped and looked at me.

Her bandaged face tensed visibly, and she paled. Disappointment and terror shot like arrows through her widened eyes.

I came to a halt, caught off guard by her expression, and the girl on crutches turned around.

Every sound in the world fell away, and I felt as if time had stopped.

A pale cheek.

Big eyes.

Cherry-pink lips.

I knew this girl who looked like a boy, who was at this moment reflected in my eyes. I knew her voice. I knew her smile. I knew the way she moved, the smoothness of her hand, the softness of her lips on my earlobe, the sweetness of her sighs.

"Konoha. Konoha."

Her innocent voice calling to me. Sweet memories tightening my chest. A white angel smiling in a sacred place!

"Konoha, do you like me? Look me in the eye and say it."

"Do you like me? Hmm? I love you. How much do you like me, Konoha?"

A lovely voice like a bell made of gla.s.s called my name exactly the way she used to.

"Konoha."

Miu looked at me joyously, her eyes sparkling.

Her lips curved into a gentle, indulgent smile.

"You finally came to see me, huh, Konoha?"

Her face filled with a radiantly happy smile, and Miu stretched out her hands and tried to run toward me.

Her aluminum crutches clattered loudly to the floor, and her body tilted forward.

"Miu!!"

I exploded toward Miu.

The instant her delicate, pajama-clad body had crumpled to the floor, the image of Miu jumping off the roof came to my mind, and I thought my heart would stop. I cradled her in my arms deliriously.

"Miu! Are you all right?! Miu?!"

Miu circled her arms around my neck and embraced me, trusting her whole body to me.

"I can't walk without my crutches. I forgot. Because I got to see you again, Konoha. Konoha, Konoha, I've missed you. I've missed you a lot. I've...been waiting for you."

Her voice was raspy, her emotions in turmoil from her unrestrained happiness.

Miu's breath touching my ear. The warmth of Miu's body against my skin. The bittersweet smell of soap mixed with sweat.

My mind was reeling, and I hugged Miu back fiercely.

This wasn't a dream.

She'd lost a lot of weight and her hair was short now, but her clear eyes were unchanged. This was definitely Miu. Miu was here.

Still clinging to me, Miu whispered in an emotional voice, "Kotobuki was saying terrible things to me. She said she would never let me see you, that I didn't deserve to see you..."

When I heard that, I finally remembered Kotobuki's presence and that we were in a hallway at the hospital.

Hey! Why were Kotobuki and Miu together?

And how could Kotobuki have said those things to Miu?

When I lifted my gaze, Kotobuki was looking down at us with a tense expression, her forehead tightly knit, showing that she was fighting back tears.

When her eyes met mine, her face flushed red, and she started trying to say something in a high-pitched voice.

"N-no...I was..."

Miu buried her face against my chest and started crying, interrupting Kotobuki's explanation.

"You heard her yelling at me a second ago, didn't you, Konoha? She really did say a bunch of awful stuff to me! Like how I deserved to spend the rest of my life in the hospital and how she couldn't stand to look at me and that I shouldn't go near you. Sh-she came to my room out of nowhere and said, 'Inoue's forgotten all about you. Serves you right.' I-I couldn't say anything. It hurt so much."

"That's not what happened!"

Kotobuki's eyebrows shot up, and she clenched her fingers around her cane. Her pale lips were trembling slightly.

"Eek! She's glaring at me. Take me back to my room, Konoha. I'm scared. Hurry."

Miu seemed badly confused. She curled up in my arms like a baby bird and sobbed, her body shaking.

"I'm sorry, Kotobuki."

The instant I said it, Kotobuki's eyes went wide in shock.

But I was confused, too, by my sudden reunion with Miu, and I couldn't think things through properly.

At Miu's request, I put my arms around her body-it was as light as air-and helped her stand, then picked up her crutches. Then, supporting Miu, I walked away.

Kotobuki watched me do it without a word, biting down fiercely on her lip and gripping the cane affixed to her arm so tightly that her fingers turned white.

Clang, clang...I moved down the hall with Miu, who nimbly handled the crutches to walk.

The distance between Kotobuki and us grew steadily greater.

"I really have missed you, Konoha. This whole time, I've wanted to see you. I've been waiting," Miu repeated in a voice like a whisper. "I'm sure you're mad at me. For doing what I did, right in front of you."

It was as if she'd grabbed my heart in her bare hands.

The image of Miu falling away backward came to my mind, and my throat quivered, making it hard to breathe.

"I'm not...at all."

Still on her crutches, Miu lowered her eyelashes and murmured forlornly.

"No...of course you'd be mad. When you came to see me at the hospital, I wanted to see you more than anything. But my mom and dad...they wouldn't let me see you.