The Wayfarer's Lamentation Part 16

I finished her right foot and then finished cutting her entire left foot, and when I started to gather the clipped nails in my palm, Miu stuck her right foot in front of my nose again.

"Kiss it, Konoha."

Still kneeling on the floor, I looked up at her in shock. The smile disappeared completely from her face, and she looked down at me arrogantly.

"You can do it, can't you?"

A sweet, cold voice.

"After all, you're my dog, Konoha."

Contrary to the coolness of her eyes, her voice had a pretentious tone that was almost gently informing me of the fact-and was also almost impossible to contradict.

My heart stiffened, was bound, at her voice and the strength of her gaze looking down at me, and I brought my face closer to her small foot, just as Miu wished.

It was wrong to do this!

But I couldn't possibly refuse Miu's command.

Besides, just like Miu said, I had always followed her around like an obedient dog.

Because ever since we were children, Miu's word was absolute.

Just as my trembling lips were about to brush the tips of her white nails, the door to the room swung open.

"Stop!"

Tightly gripping a cane that was fixed to her arm with a ring, wearing a cardigan over her pajamas, Kotobuki appeared, her face flushed.

She advanced, verging on tears and slamming her cane on the floor, bang, bang!

"Don't do that, Inoue! Don't listen to what a girl like her says! No-no!"

I felt as if the blood in my body was rising in a torrent to my head.

The embarra.s.sment and despair of being seen by Kotobuki in that pathetic position, kneeling on the floor-it made the world grow bleak, and I wished I could disappear.

Kotobuki glared at Miu with eyes like fire and screamed, "You...you make me sick!! How could you call Inoue a dog?! How could you call me here deliberately and make Inoue do that?! Inoue-Inoue isn't your dog!"

Miu's eyes instantly teared up.

"What are you talking about? Obviously I didn't call you here. Don't go around mouthing off. You were just eavesdropping and barged in here. And then to tell a lie like that in front of Konoha, trying to make me the bad guy-how awful of you."

"You're the one who's lying! You sent me a text message!"

"That's a lie! A lie!"

"-Then what's this?"

After a look of hesitation, Kotobuki grabbed her cell phone from the pocket of her cardigan, opened it, and shoved it at Miu.

Her long nails glinting, Miu took the phone, then opened the window and hurled it outside.

Kotobuki's eyes widened.

I stood up, too. The nails I had clipped off spilled from my lap.

"Wh-what are you doing?!"

Kotobuki grabbed Miu, her face bright red.

Still sitting in bed, Miu shoved Kotobuki away with both hands. When Kotobuki lost her balance and fell onto her b.u.t.t, Miu clung to me and wailed.

"You're terrible, forging stuff on your cell phone! Listen, Konoha. Kotobuki came here yesterday, too, and said she would take you from me. That she was the one who liked you and that I was in her way."

"Th-that's a lie! I never said that," Kotobuki swore, shaking her head as she crouched on the floor.

Miu clung to me even tighter and shouted, "She said she wished I would jump again and die! That you would be happier that way!"

"I didn't!"

"Konoha, you believe me, don't you? Or would it really be better if I died because I'm in the way like Kotobuki said? If you tell me to die, Konoha, I'll jump out this window right now."

Her face smeared with tears, Miu broke away from me and laid a hand on the window frame.

The image of Miu smiling, her ponytail and the hem of her skirt rippling in the wind, ran through my brain like a bolt of lightning, and fear pierced my spine.

"No! Miu!"

I grabbed Miu from behind.

"Let me go! If you don't believe me, I'd rather die!"

"I believe you! I believe you, so stop doing this!" I yelled as I yanked Miu blindly from the window, as if possessed. "Kotobuki, just leave! I'm sorry!"

I didn't think Kotobuki had said anything bad to Miu. She wasn't like that. She came off harsh, but I knew it was just awkwardness and that she was really a kind girl.

But I didn't want to watch as Miu jumped to her death again.

That was the one thing I couldn't handle.

The torment, the despair, the fear that had pierced me that day on the roof would reawaken inside me. The world would break apart, and my heart would shatter into pieces.

"Please! Go! Just leave, Kotobuki. Miu wouldn't lie to me. I believe her!"

Intense shock showed on Kotobuki's face.

Her eyes were so wide I was sure they couldn't possibly widen any more. She stared at me blankly, her face ashen.

Finally her face crumbled, her eyes quietly filled with tears, and transparent beads dripped down her cheeks. Feeling like my chest and throat were about to rip apart, I watched the bandage covering the right side of her face grow soggy with tears. That was the punishment I was dealt.

In a hoa.r.s.e voice, Kotobuki whispered, "I thought...I'd finally...gotten a little bit...closer to you. But I guess I was wrong."

I couldn't answer.

All I could do was let my throat tremble and bite down on my lip and bear in silence the pain threatening to stun me.

A tiny sob touched my ear, Kotobuki turned her back on us, and she ran off, her cane clacking.

When I heard the door slam shut, I felt as if something important was being shredded from the inside of my heart.

Miu plopped her head down and pressed it against my chest.

Even though she'd been racked with sobs up until now, she wore a satisfied smile.

She closed her eyes as if listening closely for the feeble beating of my heart and softly murmured, "Thank you for believing me. You'll be on my side from now on, right? You'll believe anything I say and listen to a-a-anything I tell you, right?"

Did I really believe Miu?

Had I been right to say that I believed her?

While I felt the fatigue and despair of sinking wordlessly into a deep, muddy bog, unable to move even a single finger, I gazed out the darkening window.

Was it really, really okay...to be like this?

But how could Giovanni cast off or doubt Campanella?

Campanella was everything Giovanni idealized.

Everyone says I'm a liar.

They shut me out from their groups and look at me coldly or whisper dirty things or laugh cruelly.

"That kid's a liar. Don't talk to him."

But I was the one who didn't want to say a thing to them.

I did things they couldn't do, and I saw things they couldn't see. I was able to hear things that they couldn't hear.

I wonder why no one else notices the things that the sky and clouds and rainbows, that the trees and gra.s.s, that the school building are telling us. I wonder if they don't understand how to ask erasers and buckets and brooms to tell their stories.

My world was always spilling over with new stories, and I was the king of my world.

So I never wanted to put myself into their cramped, boring worlds, and I was just peachy all on my own!

One day you came into my world.

You approached me with an unwary, innocent smile and begged me for stories. You started to share the stories that only I had seen, the stories that were mine alone.

By the time I realized I'd made a mistake, my world had fallen into brutal ruin and lay destroyed in tatters.

You-!

Your arrogance-!

Your cruelty-!

You took everything from me!

Note: It's too late to act the part of the mother! When you only show your face once every two months and spew spiteful words, it makes me want to kill you.

The phone again.

That's the thirtieth time today. They know I hate the phone, and they call me anyway.

Even though I tell them to text me, they don't listen. They're smiling repulsively on the other end of the phone. They'll keep calling and calling and calling until I answer.

It's not like I'm scared.

No! I'm not! No! No! I hope you die, B!

The next morning out of nowhere, Akutagawa punched me in the face.

For a second, I didn't know what had happened.

When I opened my bag and was transferring notes and textbooks to my desk, Akutagawa came over to me with a grim expression on his face and jabbed his fist at me without a word.

There was a crack! and pain ran through my cheek like fire had been pressed against it, and sparks scattered through my brain.

As I staggered, my hips collided with the desk behind me, and the desk and chair fell over with a huge noise. I hit the ground on my b.u.t.t, too. The taste of rust and the slimy sensation of blood spread through my mouth as screams went up around me.

My burning cheek and the throbbing beat of pain in my temple eventually told me that I'd been punched. While I was still gaping, Akutagawa grabbed me by the collar and forced me to stand.

There was no trace of his usual placidity as he closed in on me, and his almond-shaped eyes glinted with a fierce anger. Akutagawa shouted with the force of a snapping dog.

"I heard you told Asakura you believed her right in front of Kotobuki!"

Ah, so he was angry about what happened yesterday. For him, a bundle of self-control, to lay his emotions bare and rage like this without paying the slightest attention to the people around him- "Did you hear that from Kotobuki?"

The moment I muttered that in a rasping voice, Akutagawa's eyebrows went up even farther. He grabbed me around the neck, though I was still dazed, shook me, and unleashed a fiery attack on me.

"I heard that from Asakura! She said you defended her and drove Kotobuki off. That Kotobuki left in tears! That you said, 'Miu wouldn't lie...I believe her'! Why would you do something that stupid?! Asakura-she was laughing!"

A th.o.r.n.y arrow dug through my flesh, piercing my chest.