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LADY KITTY. Poor dear, his father was at his age. I daresay he'll grow out of it.
PORTEOUS. But you stick to him, Elizabeth, stick to him. Man is a gregarious animal. We're members of a herd. If we break the herd's laws we suffer for it. And we suffer d.a.m.nably.
LADY KITTY. Oh, Elizabeth, my dear child, don't go. It's not worth it.
It's not worth it. I tell you that, and I've sacrificed everything to love.
[_A pause._
ELIZABETH. I'm afraid.
TEDDIE. [_In a whisper._] Elizabeth.
ELIZABETH. I can't face it. It's asking too much of me. Let's say good-bye to one another, Teddie. It's the only thing to do. And have pity on me. I'm giving up all my hope of happiness.
[_He goes up to her and looks into her eyes._
TEDDIE. But I wasn't offering you happiness. I don't think my sort of love tends to happiness. I'm jealous. I'm not a very easy man to get on with. I'm often out of temper and irritable. I should be fed to the teeth with you sometimes, and so would you be with me. I daresay we'd fight like cat and dog, and sometimes we'd hate each other. Often you'd be wretched and bored stiff and lonely, and often you'd be frightfully homesick, and then you'd regret all you'd lost. Stupid women would be rude to you because we'd run away together. And some of them would cut you. I don't offer you peace and quietness. I offer you unrest and anxiety. I don't offer you happiness. I offer you love.
ELIZABETH. [_Stretching out her arms._] You hateful creature, I absolutely adore you!
[_He throws his arms round her and kisses her pa.s.sionately on the lips._
LADY KITTY. Of course the moment he said he'd give her a black eye I knew it was finished.
PORTEOUS. [_Good-humouredly._] You are a fool, Kitty.
LADY KITTY. I know I am, but I can't help it.
TEDDIE. Let's make a bolt for it now.
ELIZABETH. Shall we?
TEDDIE. This minute.
PORTEOUS. You're d.a.m.ned fools, both of you, d.a.m.ned fools! If you like you can have my car.
TEDDIE. That's awfully kind of you. As a matter of fact I got it out of the garage. It's just along the drive.
PORTEOUS. [_Indignantly._] How do you mean, you got it out of the garage?
TEDDIE. Well, I thought there'd be a lot of bother, and it seemed to me the best thing would be for Elizabeth and me not to stand upon the order of our going, you know. Do it now. An excellent motto for a business man.
PORTEOUS. Do you mean to say you were going to steal my car?
TEDDIE. Not exactly. I was only going to bolshevise it, so to speak.
PORTEOUS. I'm speechless. I'm absolutely speechless.
TEDDIE. Hang it all, I couldn't carry Elizabeth all the way to London.
She's so d.a.m.ned plump.
ELIZABETH. You dirty dog!
PORTEOUS. [_Spluttering._] Well, well, well! ... [_Helplessly._] I like him, Kitty, it's no good pretending I don't. I like him.
TEDDIE. The moon's s.h.i.+ning, Elizabeth. We'll drive all through the night.
PORTEOUS. They'd better go to San Michele. I'll wire to have it got ready for them.
LADY KITTY. That's where we went when Hughie and I ...
[_Faltering._] Oh, you dear things, how I envy you!
PORTEOUS. [_Mopping his eyes._] Now don't cry, Kitty. Confound you, don't cry.
TEDDIE. Come, darling.
ELIZABETH. But I can't go like this.
TEDDIE. Nonsense! Lady Kitty will lend you her cloak. Won't you?
LADY KITTY. [_Taking it off._] You're capable of tearing it off my back if I don't.
TEDDIE. [_Putting the cloak on ELIZABETH._] And we'll buy you a tooth-brush in London in the morning.
LADY KITTY. She must write a note for Arnold. I'll put it on her pincus.h.i.+on.
TEDDIE. Pincus.h.i.+on be blowed! Come, darling. We'll drive through the dawn and through the sunrise.
ELIZABETH. [_Kissing LADY KITTY and PORTEOUS._] Good-bye. Good-bye.
[_TEDDIE stretches out his hand and she takes it. Hand in hand they go out into the night._
LADY KITTY. Oh, Hughie, how it all comes back to me! Will they suffer all we suffered? And have we suffered all in vain?
PORTEOUS. My dear, I don't know that in life it matters so much what you do as what you are. No one can learn by the experience of another because no circ.u.mstances are quite the same. If we made rather a hash of things perhaps it was because we were rather trivial people. You can do anything in this world if you're prepared to take the consequences, and consequences depend on character.
[_Enter CHAMPION-CHENEY, rubbing his hands. He is as pleased as Punch._
C.-C. Well, I think I've settled the hash of that young man.
LADY KITTY. Oh!
C.-C. You have to get up very early in the morning to get the better of your humble servant.
[_There is the sound of a car starting._
LADY KITTY. What is that?
C.-C. It sounds like a car. I expect it's your chauffeur taking one of the maids for a joy-ride.