Six Plays by Lady Florence Henrietta Fisher Darwin Part 43

WILLIAM. I'm blessed if I know, unless 'twas those coloured ribbons that you have got to your bonnet.

LAURA. You are partial to the colour?

WILLIAM. Ah, 'tis well enough.

LAURA. See here. [Taking a flower from her dress.] This is of the same colour. I will put it in your coat.

[She fastens it in his coat. WILLIAM looks very uncomfortable and nervous.

WILLIAM. Well, bless my soul, but women folk have got some powerful strange tricks to them.

LAURA. [Pinning the flower in its place.] There--my gift to you, master.

WILLIAM. You may call me by my name, if you like, 'tis more suitable, seeing that we might go along to Church together one of these days.

LAURA. O William, you have made me very happy--I do feel all mazy like with my gladness.

WILLIAM. Well, Julia, we might do worse than to--to--name the day.

LAURA. Why do you call me Julia?

WILLIAM. Seeing that I've given you leave to call me William 'tis only suitable that I should use your name as well.

LAURA. But my name is not Julia.

WILLIAM. What is it then, I should like to know?

LAURA. 'Tis Laura, William.

WILLIAM. Folks did tell me that you were named Julia.

LAURA. No--Laura is my name; but I live with Mistress Julia up at Luther's Farm, and I help her with the work. House-keeping, dairy, poultry, garden. O there's nothing I can't turn my hand to, Master William.

WILLIAM. [Starts up from the seat in deepest consternation.] John, John--Come you here, I say! Come here.

JOHN. [Emerges from the bushes.] My dearest master!

WILLIAM. What's this you've been and done, John?

JOHN. Why, master--the one with the cherry ribbons, to her you did say.

WILLIAM. [Disgustedly.] 'Tis the wrong one.

LAURA. What are you two talking about? William, do you mean to say as that man of yours was hid in the bushes all the while?

WILLIAM. Now, John, you've got to get me out of the fix where I'm set.

JOHN. O my dear master, don't you take on so. 'Tis a little bit of misunderstanding to be sure, but one as can be put right very soon.

WILLIAM. Then you get to work and set it right, John, for 'tis beyond the power of me to do so. I'll be blessed if I'll ever get meddling with this sort of job again.

JOHN. Now don't you get so heated, master, but leave it all to me.

[Turning to LAURA.] My good wench, it seems that there has been a little bit of misunderstanding between you and my gentleman here.

LAURA. [Angrily.] So that's what you call it--misunderstanding 'tis a fine long word, but not much of meaning, to it, I'm thinking.

JOHN. Then you do think wrong. Suppose you was to go to market for to buy a nice spring chicken and when you was got half on the way to home you was to see as they had put you up a lean old fowl in place of it, what would you do then?

LAURA. I don't see that chickens or fowls have anything to do with the matter.

JOHN. Then you're not the smart maid I took you for. 'Tis not you as would be suitable in my master's home. And what's more, 'tis not you as my master's come a-courting of.

LAURA. If 'tis not me, who is it then?

[WILLIAM looks at her sheepishly and then turns away.

JOHN. 'Tis your mistress, since you wants to know.

LAURA. [Indignantly.] O, I see it all now--How could I have been so misled!

JOHN. However could poor master have been so mistook, I say.

LAURA. [Turning away pa.s.sionately.] O, I've had enough of you and-- and your master.

JOHN. Now that's what I do like for to hear. Because me and master have sommat else to do nor to stand giddle-gaddling in this old wood the rest of the day. Us have got a smartish lot of worry ahead of we, haven't us, master?

WILLIAM. You never said a truer word, John.

JOHN. Come along then Master William. You can leave the spring vegetables to she. 'Tis more nor she deserves, seeing as her might have known as 'twas her mistress the both of us was after, all the time.

[LAURA throws herself on the seat and begins to cry silently, but pa.s.sionately.

WILLIAM. O John, this courting, 'tis powerful heavy work.

JOHN. [Taking WILLIAM'S arm.] Come you along with me, master, and I'll give you a helping hand with it all.

LAURA. [Looking up and speaking violently.] I warrant you will, you clown. But let me advise you to look better afore you leap next time, or very likely 'tis in sommat worse than a ditchful of nettles as you'll find yourself.

JOHN. [Looking back over his shoulders as he goes off with WILLIAM.]

I reckon as you've no call to trouble about we, mistress. Us is they what can look after theirselves very well. Suppose you was to wash your face and dry your eyes and set about the boiling of yon spring cabbage. 'Twould be sensibler like nor to bide grizzling after one as is beyond you in his station, so 'twould.

[JOHN and WILLIAM go out, leaving LAURA weeping on the bench, the basket of vegetables by her side.

[Curtain.]

ACT II.--Scene 3.