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She would not own her knowledge of his real offence, and she muttered angrily, "Galloping like that--"
"Didn't you like it? He's as steady as a rock."
"How could I know that?"
"And I thought you had some pluck."
"I have. I sat quite still."
Again he laughed. "I made you."
"Oh," she burst out. "I'll never trust you again."
"You would if you knew--if you knew--but never mind. I wanted to see you on a horse. You shall have him to yourself next time. I'll get a side saddle."
"I don't want one," she said.
"Oh, yes, you do. Let me help you up. Say you forgive me."
With her hand in his she murmured, "But you are always doing something.
And my head aches."
"Does it? I'm sorry. What made it ache?"
"It--I--I b.u.mped myself when I fell."
"Poor little head! It was silly of you, wasn't it? Let me put you on his back again, and I'll walk you slowly home."
He was faithful to his word, letting her go without a pressure of the hand, and she crept into the house with the uneasy conviction that Helen was right, that George wanted the chance he had never had, and her own responsibility was black over her bed as she tried to sleep. Turning from side to side and at last sitting up with a jerk, she decided to evade responsibility by evading George, and with that resolution she heaved a deep sigh at the prospect of her young life despoiled by duty.
CHAPTER XVI
Zebedee had the lover's gift of finding time which did not exist for other men, and there were few Sundays when he did not spend some minutes or some hours on the moor. There were blank days when Helen failed him because she thought Mildred Caniper was lonely, others when she ran out for a word and swiftly left him to the memory of her grace and her transforming smile; yet oftenest, she was waiting for him in the little hollow of earth, and those hours were the best he had ever known. It was good to sit and see the sky slowly losing colour and watch the moths flit out, and though neither he nor she was much given to speech, each knew that the other was content.
"Helen," he said one night in late September when they were left alone, "I want to tell you something."
She did not stir, and she answered slowly, softly, in the voice of one who slept, "Tell it."
"It's about beauty. I'd never seen it till you showed it to me."
"Did I? When?"
"I'm not sure. That night--"
"On the moor?"
"Always on the moor! When you had the basket. It was the first time after I came back."
"But you couldn't see me in the darkness."
"Yes, a little. You remember you told me to light the lamps. And I could hear you--your voice running with the wind--And then each day since. I want to thank you."
"Oh--" She made a little sound of depreciation and happiness.
"Those old Sundays--"
"Ah, yes! The s.h.i.+ning pews and the painted stars. This is better."
"Yes, this is better. Heather instead of the sticky pews--"
"And real stars," she murmured.
"And you for priestess."
"No, I'm just a wors.h.i.+pper."
"But you show the way. You give light to them that sit in darkness."
"Ah, don't." There was pain in her voice. "Don't give me things. At least, don't give me praise. I'm afraid of having things."
"But why, my dear?" The words dropped away into the gathering dusk, and they both listened to them as they went.
"I'm afraid they will be taken away again."
"Don't have that feeling. It will be hard on those who want to give you--much."
"I hadn't thought of that," she cried, and started up as though she were glad to blame him. "And you never tell me anything. Why don't you? Why don't you tell me about your work? I could have that. There would be no harm in that."
"Harm? No. May I?"
"Why shouldn't you? They all tell me things. Don't you want somebody to talk to?"
"I want you, if you care to hear."
"Oh, Zebedee, yes," she said, and sank into her place.
"Helen," he said unsteadily, "I wish you would grow up, and yet, Helen, what a pity that you should change."
She did not answer; she might have been asleep, and he sat in a stillness born of his disturbance at her nearness, her pale smooth skin, her smooth brown hair, the young curves of her body. If he had moved, it would have been to crush her beautiful, firm mouth, but her youth was a chain wound round him, and though he was in bonds he seemed to be alive for the first time. He and Helen were the sole realities. He could see Miriam's figure, black against the sky as she stood or stooped to pick a flower, but she had no meaning for him, and the voices of the young men, not far off, might have been the droning of some late bee. The world was a cup to hold him and this girl, and over that cup he had a feeling of mastery and yet of helplessness, and all his past days dwindled to a streak of drab existence. Life had begun, and it went at such a pace that he did not know how much of it was already spent when Helen sat up, and looking at him with drowsy eyes, asked, "What is happening?"
"There was magic abroad. The sun has been going down behind the moor, and night is coming on. I must be going home."
"Don't go. Yes, it's getting dark. There will be stars soon. I love the night. Don't go. How low the birds are flying. They are like big moths.
The magic hasn't gone."