Popular Rhymes and Nursery Tales Part 21

How can there be a blanket without e'er a thread?

Para-mara, dictum, &c.

How can there be a book which no man can read?

Partum, quartum, &c.

When the bird's in the sh.e.l.l, there is no bone; Para-mara, dictum, &c.

When the cherry's in the bud, there is no stone; Partum, quartum, &c.

When the blanket's in the fleece, there is no thread; Para-mara, dictum, &c.

When the book's in the press, no man can read; Partum, quartum, &c.

Several versions of this metrical riddle are common in the North of England, and an ingenious antiquary has suggested that it is a parody on the old monkish songs! It will remind the reader of the Scottish ballad of Captain Wedderburn's Courts.h.i.+p,

O hold away from me, kind sir, I pray you let me be; For I will not go to your bed, Till you dress me dishes three: Dishes three you must dress to me, And I must have them a', Before that I lie in your bed, Either at stock or wa'.

O I must have to my supper A cherry without a stone; And I must have to my supper A chicken without a bone: And I must have to my supper A bird without a ga', Before I lie into your bed, Either at stock or wa'.

When the cherry is in the bloom, I'm sure it hath no stone; And when the chicken is in its sh.e.l.l, I'm sure it hath no bone: The dove it is a gentle bird, It flies without a ga', And we shall both lie in ae bed, And thou's lie next the wa'.

The belief that a pigeon or dove has no gall forms the subject of a chapter in Browne's Vulgar and Common Errors, iii. 3. The gall-bladder does not exist in the dove.

THE DEMANDS JOYOUS.

It is not generally known that many of our popular riddles are centuries old. Yet such is the fact, and those whose course of reading has made them acquainted with ancient collections are not unfrequently startled by observing a quibble of the fifteenth or sixteenth century go the round of modern newspapers as a new invention, or perhaps as an importation from America! A few months ago, an instance of this species of resuscitation took place in the publication of the question, "Which were made first, elbows or knees?" This was an enigma current in England in the time of Queen Elizabeth, and is found in a ma.n.u.script in the British Museum written before the close of the sixteenth century.

The earliest collection of riddles printed in this country came from the press of Wynkyn de Worde in the year 1511, in black letter, under the t.i.tle of the "Demaundes Joyous." Only one copy of this tract, which was "imprynted at London, in Flete Strete, at the sygne of the Sonne," is known to exist, and it is now preserved in the public library at Cambridge. It is chiefly a compilation from an early French tract under a similar t.i.tle, but which is far more remarkable for its grossness. The reader may be amused with the following specimens, and perhaps recognise some of them as old favorites:

"_Demand._ Who bore the best burden that ever was borne?-_R._ The a.s.s on which our Lady rode when she fled with our Lord into Egypt. _D._ What became of that a.s.s?-_R._ Adam's mother did eat her. _D._ Who is Adam's mother?-_R._ The earth.

_Demand._ What s.p.a.ce is from the surface of the sea to its greatest depth?-_R._ A stone's cast.

_Demand._ How many calves' tails behoveth to reach from the earth to the sky?-_R._ No more but one, an' it be long enough.

_Demand._ Which is the most profitable beast, and that which men eat least of?-_R._ Bees.

_Demand._ Which is the broadest water, and the least jeopardy to pa.s.s over?-_R._ The dew.

_Demand._ What thing is that which never was nor never will be?-_R._ A mouse making her nest in a cat's ear.

_Demand._ Why doth a dog turn himself thrice round before he layeth down?-_R._ Because he knoweth not the bed's head from its foot.

_Demand._ Why do men make an oven in the town?-_R._ For because they cannot make the town in the oven.

_Demand._ How may a man know or perceive a cow in a flock of sheep?-_R._ By sight.

_Demand._ What alms are worst bestowed that men give?-_R._ Alms to a blind man, for he would willingly see him hanged by the neck that gave it him.

_Demand._ What thing is that which hath no end?-_R._ A bowl.

_Demand._ What people be they that never go a-procession?-_R._ Those that ring the bells in the mean time.

_Demand._ What is that that freezeth never?-_R._ Hot water.

_Demand._ What thing is that that is most likest unto a horse?-_R._ That is a mare.

_Demand._ What thing is that which is more frightful the smaller it is?-_R._ A bridge.

_Demand._ Why doth an ox lie down?-_R._ Because he cannot sit.

_Demand._ How many straws go to a goose's nest?-_R._ None, for lack of feet.

_Demand._ Who slew the fourth part of the world?-_R._ Cain, when he killed his brother Abel.

_Demand._ What man is he that getteth his living backwards?-_R._ A ropemaker.

The reader will please to recollect the antiquity of these, and their curiosity, before he condemns their triviality. Let the worst be said of them, they are certainly as good as some of Shakespeare's jokes, which no doubt elicited peals of laughter from an Elizabethan audience. This may be said to be only a negative kind of recommendation, and, indeed, when we reflect on the apparent poverty of verbal humour in those days, the wonder is that it could have been so well relished. The fact must be that we often do not understand the greater part of the meaning intended to be conveyed.

To revert to the lengthened transmission of jokes, I may mention my discovery of the following in MS. Addit. 5008, in the British Museum, a journal of the time of Queen Elizabeth. The anecdote, by some means, went the round of the provincial press in 1843, as of modern composition. "On a very rainy day, a man, entering his house, was accosted by his wife in the following manner: 'Now, my dear, while you are wet, go and fetch me a bucket of water.' He obeyed, brought the water and threw it all over her, saying at the same time, 'Now, my dear, while you are wet, go and fetch another!'"

VI.-NATURE-SONGS.

Rhymes upon natural objects and rural sayings are perhaps more generally interesting than any other relics of the popular anthology. They not unfrequently contain scientific truths, and have been considered worthy of examination by the philosopher; while the unlearned are often contented to use them as subst.i.tutes for the barometer or Nautical Almanac. We all recollect the story of Dr. Johnson, and the boy who prophesied a shower when not a speck was to be seen in the sky. The doctor, drenched with rain, hastened back to the lad, and offered him a s.h.i.+lling if he would divulge the data of his prediction. "Why, you zee, zur, when that black ram holds its tail up, it be sure to rain!" The story loses none of its force when we find it in the Hundred Merry Tales, printed nearly two centuries before Dr. Johnson was born.

THE RAINBOW.

Rainbow i' th' morning s.h.i.+pper's warning; Rainbow at night s.h.i.+pper's delight.

This, in one form or other, is a most common weather proverb. The present version was heard in Ess.e.x.

If there be a rainbow in the eve, It will rain and leave; But if there be a rainbow in the morrow, It will neither lend nor borrow.

WEATHER-RHYMES.

The ev'ning red, and the morning gray, Are the tokens of a bonny day.

Winter's thunder Is the world's wonder.

From Lancas.h.i.+re.

As the days grow longer, The storms grow stronger; As the days lengthen, So the storms strengthen.

No weather is ill, If the wind be still.