Philo Gubb, Correspondence-School Detective - LightNovelsOnl.com
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"Under them certain specifications," said Mr. Gubb, using the exact words he had used before, "I can take up the case and get right to work onto it."
Mr. Smith shook hands to bind the bargain and departed.
He had hardly disappeared before Mr. Alibaba Singh opened the door cautiously, put his head inside and then entered.
"I thought that man would stay forever," he said with annoyance. "He isn't in any way interested in my affairs or in the affairs of Mrs.
Henry K. Lippett, is he?"
"n.o.body has been here that is interested into anything you are interested into in the slightest form or manner," Mr. Gubb a.s.sured him, and Alibaba Singh sighed with relief.
"You never knew Henry K. Lippett, did you?" he asked.
"Never at all," said Mr. Gubb.
"He broke his neck," said Alibaba Singh, "and it killed him."
He hesitated and seemed lost in thought. He drew himself together sharply.
"It isn't _possible_!" he exclaimed with irritation and with no connection with what he had just said. "I _don't_ believe it! I--I--"
His distress was great. He wrung one hand inside the other. He almost wept.
"Mr. Gubb," he said, "since I was here I have been up to Mrs.
Lippett's house again, and it is worse than ever. It can't be possible! I haven't the power. I know I haven't the power."
"You'd ought to try to explain yourself more plain to your deteckative," said Mr. Gubb.
"I'll tell you everything!" said Alibaba Singh in a sudden burst of confidence. "Mr. Gubb, I am an impostor. I am a fraud. I am not a Hindoo. My name is Guffins, James Guffins. I did sleight-of-hand stuff in a Bowery show. I took up this mystic, yogi, Hindoo stuff because I thought it would pay and it was easy to fool the dames. They fell for it fast enough, and I made good money. But I'm no yogi. I'm no miracle man. I couldn't bring a man back to life in his own form or any other form, could I?"
"Undoubtedly hardly so," said Mr. Gubb.
"Glad to hear you say it," said Mr. Guffins with relief. "A man gets so interested in his work--and there is a lot you can learn in books about this Hindoo mumbo-jumbo business--but of course I couldn't bring Mr. Lippett back. I'm no spiritualistic medium. I couldn't materialize the spirit of a pig."
As he said the word, Mr. Guffins shuddered. It had come out unintentionally, but it seemed to jar him to the depth of his being.
He had evidently not meant to say _pig_.
"Mr. Gubb, I will be frank with you. I need your help," he continued.
"Mrs. Lippett attended my lecture, and she became interested. She formed a cla.s.s to study yogi philosophy. We went deep into it. I had to read up one week what I taught them the next. The lights turned low and my Hindoo costume helped, of course. Air of mystery, strange perfumes, and all that. You said you never knew Henry K. Lippett?"
"Never at all," said Mr. Gubb.
"Fat man," said Mr. Guffins. "He must have been a very fat man. And a hearty eater. Rather--rather an over-hearty eater. He must have lived to eat."
Mr. Guffins sighed again.
"Of course there was remuneration," Mr. Guffins went on. "For me, I mean. To pay for my time. Mrs. Lippett was most generous. I _told_ her," he said angrily, "I couldn't guarantee to materialize her dead husband. I said to her: 'Mrs. Lippett, we had better not try it. My power may be too weak. And think of the risk. He _may_ be pure spirit, floating in Nirvana, and come to us as a pure spirit, but what if his life was not all it should have been on earth? What if his spirit has pa.s.sed into a lower form as a punishment for misdeeds? You will pardon me for speaking so of him, but men are weak,' I said, 'and he may now be a--a bird of the air. It would be a shock,' I said, 'to see him changed into a bird of the air.'"
Mr. Guffins paused and groaned.
"But she would have it," he went on. "She would have me make the attempt. So--"
Mr. Guffins looked at Mr. Gubb appealingly.
"You _don't_ believe I could do it, do you?" he pleaded.
"Not in any manner of means," said Mr. Gubb.
"That's what I want you to prove to her," said Mr. Guffins. "That's why I came to you. Everybody knows you are a detective. I want you to--to get on my trail."
"You want me to arrest you!" cried Mr. Gubb with surprise.
"I want you to be looking for me as if you wanted to arrest me," said poor Mr. Guffins; "as if you had received word that I was a fraud, and that you had traced me to Mrs. Lippett's. You can go there and say: 'Gone! I am too late! He has escaped.' And then you can tell her it couldn't be."
"That what couldn't be?" asked Mr. Gubb.
"The room was darkish," said Mr. Guffins. "The lights were dim. I stood in the light of the red globe, and it gave me a weird look. I held the crystal globe in one hand and the jade talisman in the other.
The incense arose from the incense-burner. As if out of the empty air, a sweet-toned bell rang three times. I bowed low three times as the bell rang and muttered the magic words. I made them up as I said them, but they sounded mystic. Mrs. Lippett was sitting on the edge of her chair, breathless with emotion. The curtains were drawn across the door at the back of the room. You could have heard a pin drop. We were alone, just we two. I felt creepy myself. I turned toward the curtains. I said, 'Henry, appear!'"
"Yes?" queried Philo Gubb.
Mr. Guffins threw out both hands with a gesture of utter despair.
"A pig came under the curtains," he groaned. "A pig--a great, fat, double-chinned, pinky-white pig, the kind you see at county fairs--came under the curtains and grunted twice. It stood there and raised its head and grunted twice."
Mr. Guffins wrung his hands nervously.
"It--it surprised me," he said,--"but only for a minute. I said, 'Get out, you beast!' and was going to kick it, but Mrs. Lippett rose slowly from her chair. She half-tottered for an instant, and then she covered her face with her hands. She began to weep. 'I knew it!' she sobbed; 'I knew it! Oh, Henry, I knew you ate too much. I told you and _told_ you again and again you were making a pig of yourself. Oh, Henry, if you had only been less of a pig when you were alive before!'
And what do you think that pig did?"
"What did it do?" asked Philo Gubb.
"It sat up on its hind legs and begged," said Mr. Guffins, "begged for food. It was awful! Mrs. Lippett couldn't stand it. She wept. 'He was always so hungry in his other life,' she said. 'I can't begin to be stern with him now. To-morrow, but not when he has just come back to me. Come, Henry!'
"She went into the dining-room," continued Mr. Guffins, "and Henry--or the pig, for it _couldn't_ have been Henry--followed her. And what do you think it did?"
"What?" asked Mr. Gubb.
"It went right to the dining-room table and climbed into a chair. Pigs don't do that, do they? But you don't believe it could have been Henry, do you? It got up in the chair and _sat_ in it, and put its front feet on the table and grunted. And Mrs. Lippett hurried about saying, 'Oh, Henry! Oh, poor, dear Henry!' and brought a plate of fried hominy and sliced apple and set it before him. And he wouldn't touch it! He wouldn't eat. So Mrs. Lippett wept harder and got a napkin and tied it around the pig's neck. Then the pig ate. He almost climbed into the plate, and gobbled the food down. And then he grunted for more. And Mrs. Lippett wept and said: 'It's Henry! He always did tie a napkin around his neck--he spilled his soup so. It's Henry! It acts just like Henry. He never did anything at the table but eat and grunt.' And so," said Mr. Guffins sadly, "she thinks it's Henry. She's fixed up the guest bedroom for him."
"The idea of such a notion!" said Mr. Gubb.
[Ill.u.s.tration: "SHE THINKS IT'S HENRY. SHE'S FIXED UP THE GUEST BEDROOM FOR HIM"]
"Well, that's it," said Mr. Guffins sadly. "I ain't sure but it _is_ Henry. Do you know, that pig walks on its hind feet like a man? She says it walks like Henry.... Oh!"
"What is it?" asked Mr. Gubb.
"I told you Henry--"