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He gave a big, heartfelt sigh, set Lauren back, and looked into her eyes by the light of the moon. "I don't like to talk about it. But you ought to know. Charlene wasn't the love of my life. I guess she filled the emptiness for a moment-too d.a.m.n long, if you want my opinion-and then she rode off into the sunset with a diamond rock on her finger big enough to choke a mule. Maybe that's all she ever wanted from me, but she couldn't stand the country either. I guess, in the end, she couldn't stand either of us."
"Oh, I'm so sorry." Lauren felt small for having pushed him into this confession. "You don't have to tell me about her. It's just that-"
"It's okay. People want different things in life. She wanted city. I wanted country."
"That's so true."
"Now, I want to know about your husband. Were you desperately in love with him and mourn him still?"
She buried her face against Kent's warm chest, feeling his muscles contract under her as if he were willing himself to stillness. "I guess my tale is sort of like yours. Jeffrey flew off into the sunset in a single-engine plane, plummeted to the ground, and never returned to us."
"That's not what I asked you," Kent said in a steely voice.
"Did I love him?"
"Yeah."
"Yes and no." She sat back up, holding their connection as if onto a lifeline, and looked into his eyes again. "We got married because I was pregnant with Hannah. I loved him for giving me what is best in my life-my daughter. But I hated him-maybe that's too strong a word but it's not far off-because he wasn't there for Hannah and she loved and missed him so much. Jeffrey was a player, as I found out later, and our little family was never enough for him. I guess, like your situation, we wanted different things in life."
Kent wrapped his arms around Lauren and held her tight, as if he could squeeze away all the old, hurtful memories.
"Hannah deserved better. I deserved better." Lauren realized that in Kent's arms she no longer felt her old despair over her failed marriage. "I'd already talked with an attorney about divorce when the news came about Jeffrey's death."
"Did you feel guilty?" Kent pressed a tender kiss to her temple.
"Yes. And I mourned what never was and never would be."
"And now?"
"I realize Jeffrey had to live on the wild side. He couldn't settle down to married life. It simply wasn't in his nature."
"Sounds like Charlene."
"Did she hurt you very badly?"
"She hurt my ego more than anything."
"Mine took a beating, too." She rubbed her face against Kent's chest, listening to the strong beat of his heart. "But I've worried most for Hannah. She needs love, family, friends, and community."
"She's got those here."
"That's why I brought her home. I wasn't sure it'd work, but I've seen her blossom in Wildcat Bluff."
"She reminds me of you."
"Now, maybe, but we were both sort of lost in Houston. I don't know. Maybe it's something in the water or the land or the people. But for me, and now Hannah, this is the very best place on Earth."
Chapter 34.
Kent gazed out into the night, realizing how much he'd changed since Lauren came back to town. "Now I agree, but not a few days ago."
"What do you mean?" Lauren lifted her head from his chest to look at him with eyes turned mysterious dark pools of silvery moonlight.
He tucked a soft strand of hair behind her ear, taking a deep breath as he considered his next words. "I guess I was pretty dense for a long time, or maybe just too young."
"You're confusing me."
"Once you left, Wildcat Bluff was never the same. I kept twisting and turning to make it right, but it just wasn't."
"But-"
"Wait. What I'm trying to say is that I realize now that you're home with Hannah that this is the very best place on Earth."
"Oh, Kent, that's so sweet." She pressed a hot kiss to his mouth before nibbling across his lower lip.
"It's true." He groaned as he felt a rush of heat spiral outward in a blaze of desire. "One thing for sure, I'm not feeling one d.a.m.n bit sweet."
"Good. I'm not either. Or hungry."
"I'm hungry all right, but not for barbeque." He licked across her lips, tasting her tangerine lip gloss that made him want her even more.
"Oh, Kent, I just wish, I wish-" She clasped his shoulders and tugged him closer, as if she would never let him go.
"I know. I wish this was our first time. It could've been. It should've been."
"But we were waiting for-"
"We waited too d.a.m.n long." He pressed hot, hard kisses across her jaw to her ear, where he traced the intricate scrolls with the tip of his tongue.
"But how could we have known Daddy would get that great job and I'd be gone in a week?"
"Just another year. That's all it would've taken. You'd have been out of high school and we would've gotten married right here in Wildcat Bluff."
"I know. And then-"
"I should've come after you."
"No. It wouldn't have worked, not after I'd been in Connecticut a year and we'd both moved on with our lives."
"I figured you'd taken to city life and wouldn't want a country guy anymore."
"Silly." She lightly bit the tip of his nose in a rebuking tease. "You're twice the man of any guy I ever met."
"And you're the love of my life."
"Oh, Kent, really?"
"Can you doubt it?"
"I love you so much. I've always loved you." She held his face with both hands and looked deeply into his eyes, blinking back tears of happiness. "Forget the past. Let's make this our very first time."
He crushed her to him, feeling his heart thud hard at her words. He'd never thought to have her love again. Now that they'd given each other their hearts once more, he'd do everything within his power to make her happy. He couldn't go back in time, but he could make the intervening years a distant memory that no longer mattered to either of them.
"I want to see you," he said in a voice gone deep and husky with emotion.
She gently traced the contours of his face. "Don't you remember? You already did see me naked as a jaybird."
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to her palm. "That was skinny-dipping years ago."
"I'm plumper now." She pulled back and walked her fingers down his chest, grabbed a fistful of fabric, and jerked the s.h.i.+rttail out of his jeans.
"Good. More to love." He groaned at her actions, realizing she'd learned a thing or two over the years. Maybe he didn't want her to forget everything after all.
"You skinny-dipped, too."
"Did you look?"
"I'll never tell." She chuckled as she gave him a mischievous wink. "But now I definitely want my eye candy." She stroked her palms across his broad chest. "I bet you packed on more muscle since that time."
"Wrangling horses'll do that to you."
"Uh-huh." She gave a little, low growl as she walked her fingertips back to the top b.u.t.ton of his pearl-snap s.h.i.+rt. "You know, they say these snaps were invented so s.h.i.+rts could easily be ripped off when tangled on barbed wire to save cowboy life and limb. But I don't think so."
"No?"
"Well, yeah, on one hand." She jerked hard and all the snaps popped open to reveal his bare chest. "But on the other, women were making clothes at home back then, so I've got an idea they made snap s.h.i.+rts so they could get their hands on their favorite cowboy faster." And she leaned down, hair cascading around her face, to press kisses across the hard muscles of his chest while she moved lower to toy with his belly b.u.t.ton.
"Lauren," he groaned, unable to say more as he dug his fingers into her soft hair while she continued to explore his bare flesh.
If he'd been hot before, now he was on fire. He sat up abruptly, taking her with him, and shucked off his s.h.i.+rt. He tossed it toward the end of the truck bed and turned toward her. She was hungrily looking at his chest, shoulders, arms. He clinched his fists not to grab her and quickly ease the ache that was trapped behind his zipper. Yet he'd promised her this would be good, and he'd hold back till he kept that promise. But it wouldn't be easy.
"My turn." He reached out and tugged at the shoulder of her jean jacket.
"It's too cool to skinny-dip," she teased as she shrugged off her jacket and tossed it beside his s.h.i.+rt.
"I'll keep you warm." He grinned, thinking how much he wanted her, how much he'd missed her, how much he needed her. And more than any of that, now she belonged to him. And he'd treasure her. Forever. "Come here."
She shook her head, moonlight turning her blond hair a silvery hue, as she smiled mischievously and scooted back from him. She quickly pulled her red T-s.h.i.+rt over her head and lobbed it at their growing pile of clothes.
He caught his breath at the sight of the lacy red bra that barely covered her generous b.r.e.a.s.t.s. If she'd been a handful when she was younger, now she was big enough to make a guy give thanks to the great G.o.ddess of women. As he watched, growing harder by the moment, she toed off one soft moccasin then the other to reveal long, slender feet. She glanced over at him, looking all soft and silvery in the moonlight. He couldn't wait a moment longer.
He lunged for her, caught her around her hips, pulled her toward him, and unzipped her jeans. "We better get these off you before I tear them to shreds."
She chuckled as she lifted her hips and allowed him to tug them down, down, all the way down to her slim ankles. He jerked the jeans completely off and tossed them behind him, breathing hard as he looked at her nearly nude body. She wore nothing but a little red lace that accented more than it hid from sight.
"Lauren, I-" He caught his breath as he sat back on his heels and simply looked at her one inch at a time. "I'm on my knees to you."
She gave him a slow smile as she reached behind her back, unhooked her bra, and tossed it on top of the pile of clothes.
He groaned, all control snapping at the sight of her pink-tipped b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and nudged her backward as he positioned his body between her legs.
She moaned in reply as he teased and tormented one round globe then the other, kissing each tip to a hard peak. When he felt her fingernails raking across the hard planes of his back, urging him harder and faster, he slipped his hand into her panties and stroked her hot, moist center, causing her to writhe up against him, as if begging for more.
He exhaled hard like he'd been running a mile. He unzipped his jeans, then remembered he had a phone in his pocket but no condom. He groaned in frustration and sat up.
"What is it?" She rose slightly and leaned against one elbow, a slow smile tilting up one corner of her full lips. "Please don't stop now."
"I've got condoms in the glove compartment, I think."
"Aren't firefighters always prepared to do their duty?"
"If it involves fire extinguishers, I'm ready."
She chuckled, a low, tantalizing sound. "I've got a better idea as to how to put out your fire."
He groaned in response, shaking his head. "Not funny."
"Yes, it is."
"Hold that position while I get down from here and-"
"Kent, do you really want to use protection?"
He felt everything within him go still, not daring to believe what she might be implying. If anything, he got harder at the thought of creating a baby between them. But surely she couldn't mean right now.
"We were always meant to have a child of our own." She held out her hand to him, palm upward. "Is now too soon to try?"
He went down on his knees before her again. "I'd like nothing better, but I don't want to rush you."
"Hannah needs a little brother or sister to make her world complete."
"I'll be happy to adopt Hannah, if you'd like or she'd want." He lifted Lauren's hand and kissed her palm, lingering over the softness. "But I don't want to rush you or her or anything. This is too precious to me."
"Me too." She tugged his hand to her mouth and kissed the rough calluses. "I love your offer about Hannah, but let's wait for her to reach out."
"I'm willing to wait a lifetime."
And with those words, he had nothing left to lose and everything to gain. He gathered Lauren into his arms, pressing kisses over her face, down her body to her hot, soft core where he lingered, tasting and t.i.tillating until she gasped out her building pleasure and spread her legs for him.
He quickly unzipped his jeans, and then as gently and tenderly as possible, he thrust deeply into her. He felt, after all these years and all the twists and turns of life, as if he had finally come home. She moaned and clutched his shoulders as he set a rhythm, building their connection, their love, their commitment as they both reached higher and higher for fulfillment, then slipped over the edge into bliss together as moonlight bathed them in a pearly glow.