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"I don't think that there will be any occasion to fight for you. I think time is on your side. Lieutenant Beck's chance was very small with my father; but suppose one Captain Beck, a young officer who had distinguished himself by his seamans.h.i.+p in Her Majesty's service, came and renewed his proposal for my sister's hand, surely he would have a better chance of success."
"Neil, old fellow," cried Beck, facing round and grasping the young surgeon's hand, "I don't wonder that you are getting to be a big fellow at your hospital."
"Nonsense! Who says I am?"
"Oh, I've heard. I wish I were as clever as you are. I came here feeling so bad that life didn't seem worth living, and in a few minutes you've shown things to me in such a different light that--"
"You think it is worth living and sharing with someone else," cried Neil.
"My dear old fellow," cried the sailor, with tears in his eyes.
"And you will go off like a man and join your s.h.i.+p?"
"Yes," cried Beck, grasping his friend's hand, and speaking firmly, "like a man."
"And you go at once?"
"Directly. Now take me in, and let me say good-bye to her."
"No," said Neil firmly.
"What? After my promise?"
"After your promise. I have a duty to my helpless father, Tom, my lad, and I should be playing a very dishonourable part if I took advantage of his position, knowing what I do of his wishes, to arrange a meeting between you and my sister. That was a love-sick boy speaking, not the Queen's officer--the man whose honour is beyond reproach."
"I suppose you are right," said Beck, after a pause. "You know I am."
"Let me see her for a moment, though."
"No."
"I know you are right--just to say `good-bye' before you--just to touch her hand."
"No, my lad. Say good-bye to me, and I'll tell her you love her truly, and that you have gone off to your duty like a man--an officer and a gentleman. That you have exacted no promise from her, and that you have taken the advice of her brother--a man who loves you both and will help you to the end. There, I must go back to my father's room. Good-bye."
"O Neil," groaned the young sailor; "this is all so hard and business-like. Everything goes easily for you. You don't know what love is."
A spasm contracted Neil's features for a few moments, but he smiled sadly directly after.
"Perhaps not," he said. "Who knows? There, business-like or not, you know I am doing my duty and you have to do yours. Come, sailor, I shall begin to quote Shakespeare to you. `Aboard, for shame; the wind sits in the shoulder of your sail, and you are staid for.'"
"But it is so hard, Neil."
"Life's duties are hard, man; but we men must do them at any cost.
Come, good-bye, and old Shakespeare again--the end of the old man's speech: `To thine own self be true'--and you will be true to the girl you wish to make your wife. Good-bye."
Neil held out his hand, but it remained untouched for the full s.p.a.ce of a minute before it was seized and crushed heavily between two nervous sets of fingers, while the young man's eyes gazed fixedly in his. Then it was dashed aside. Beck swung himself round and dashed off across the park as hard as he could go, without trusting himself to look back.
CHAPTER EIGHT.
CONFLICTING EMOTIONS.
"Poor fellow!" said Neil to himself; "and the dad prefers that hunting, racing baronet to him for a son-in-law! Why it would break little Bel's heart."
He stood watching till Beck pa.s.sed in among the trees, expecting to the last to see him turn and wave his hand.
"No; gone," he said. "Well, I must fight their battle--when the time comes--but it is quite another battle now."
As he thought this he heard the clattering of hoofs, and hastened his steps so as to get indoors before his brother rode out of the stable yard with the Lydon sisters, and a guilty feeling sent the blood into his pale cheeks. But he did not check his steps; he rather hastened them.
"They don't want to see me again," he muttered; and then, "Oh, what a miserable, contemptible coward I am; preaching to that young fellow about his duty, and here I am, the next minute, deceiving myself and utterly wanting in strength to do mine. I ought to go out and say good-bye to Saxa, and I will."
He stopped and turned to go, but a hand was laid upon his arm, and, as he faced round, it was to see a little white appealing face turned up to his, and as he pa.s.sed his arm round his sister's waist the horses' hoofs crushed the gravel by the door, pa.s.sed on, and the sound grew more faint.
"Neil, dear; Tom has gone. Is his father very ill?"
These words brought the young surgeon back to the troubles of others in place of his own.
"No, dear; he is no worse. It was not that," he said hastily.
"What was it, then? Oh, Neil, dear, you hurt me. You are keeping something back."
"I am not going to keep anything back, little sis," he said tenderly.
"Come in here."
He led her into the drawing room and closed the door, while she clung to him, searching his eyes with her own wistful gaze, as her lips trembled.
"Now, dear, pray tell me. Why did Tom come?"
"He had bad news, dear."
"About his s.h.i.+p?" cried the girl wildly.
"Yes."
"O Neil! It was about going back to sea!"
Neil nodded, and drew her more closely to him, but she resisted. His embrace seemed to stifle her; she could hardly breathe.
"You are cruel to me," she panted. "But I know," she cried half hysterically; "he has to go soon."
"He has to do his duty as a Queen's officer, Isabel, dear, and you must be firm."
"Yes, yes, dear, of course," she cried, struggling hard the while to master her emotion. "I will, indeed, try--to be calm--and patient. But tell me; he has had a message about rejoining his s.h.i.+p?"
"Yes, dear."
"And he is to go soon?"