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'No, of course not. But I went back to work far sooner than I should have because it was such torture to watch Liz do all the things I should have been doing for my baby girl. And, in the end, even though it broke my heart to leave her, I answered Anna's advertis.e.m.e.nt for a flat share.'
He frowned. 'Does Anna know about any of this?'
'No. I told her I was recovering from a broken engagement, which was no lie, Jack. And Anna finds it quite natural that I'm so attached to my "niece", because she is,too.'
He looked at her questioningly. 'What do I tell my father?'
'The truth, what else?'
Jack sat on the end of the chaise and took her hand again. 'Once Dad told me about meeting Joanna I realised why you won't marry me. But what I don't understand,' he added,'is why you brought her here to live. You must have known I'd meet her one day.'
Kate shrugged. 'I thought it didn't matter if you did. I never saw a photograph of your mother, remember, and Jo doesn't resemble you or me in any way, except for my kind of body shape. I had no intention of turning up on your doorstep and confronting you with your love child,I a.s.sure you.' She looked down at their clasped hands. 'Personally, I wasn't keen on coming back here. Even after all these years I didn't relish the idea of seeing you play happy families with Dawn. But Joanna was desperate to get away from London after Liz and Robert died,and there was this house, just waiting for us to move into it. Jo fell in love with it, so here we are.'
Jack was silent for a while, then got up and stood over Kate, his eyes implacable. 'Right. This is what we do. Now I know the truth, you and I simply get married and-'
'Live happily ever after?' She shook her head. 'There's nothing simple about it. You're not thinking straight.'
He sat down again, his eyes boring into hers. 'One thing I do have straight. We must tell Joanna.'
Kate's eyes blazed. 'And just what are "we" going to tell her, Jack? That her Daddy married someone else the minute my back was turned, and I gave my baby away like a pound of tea because I couldn't face life as a single mother? Something,' she added with bitterness, 'I've regretted every single day of my life since.'
'Then it's time to change things.' Jack's hand tightened on hers. 'Surely Joanna could cope with the facts if you explained them to her?'
She gazed at him in anguish. 'How can I do that to her, Jack? She's just lost the people she knew as parents. It would be like taking them away from her all over again.'
'She has two real live parents to take their place.'
'I can't take the risk.' Kate s.h.i.+vered. 'If I tell her the truth she might hate me. I won't do it, Jack.'
'Better than having her find out by accident.'
'I don't know. Maybe you're right. But Jo's so vulnerable right now.'
'Does she know anything about me?'
'Only that I've been seeing an old friend.'
He shrugged. 'Then she'll think it perfectly natural if you keep on seeing me.'
'So she can get used to having you around?'
'I want a whole lot more than that!' He touched a hand to her cheek. 'These past few weeks I've tried to prove to myself that I can live without you, Kate, but only proved that I can't. On the way home from London today, hours before I knew the truth about Joanna, I decided to play it your way, as your friend or anything you want. But you know d.a.m.n well thatI want to be husband-and your friend.The two are not mutually exclusive. For G.o.d's sake, Kate, I love you. And, in spite of my past sins, I know you still love me.' He pulled her up out of her chair and held her by the shoulders. 'Are you going to tell me I'm wrong?' want to be husband-and your friend.The two are not mutually exclusive. For G.o.d's sake, Kate, I love you. And, in spite of my past sins, I know you still love me.' He pulled her up out of her chair and held her by the shoulders. 'Are you going to tell me I'm wrong?'
She stared up into the compelling eyes for a long moment, then shook her head wearily. 'No. You're not wrong, Jack.' She leaned into him, her cheek against the soft wool of his sweater. 'But Joanna comes first.'
'Then I'll do my best to make her like me.'
'She likes your father.' Kate looked up at him with a wry little smile. 'And she fell madly in love with Bran.'
'Ah!' Jack's eyes gleamed. 'Does she know he's mine?'
'Yes.'
'Good. I'll use him as my trump card. When do I meet her?'
'I'm fetching her from Worcester on Tuesday, so come to supper on Wednesday, if you like. It would help pa.s.s the time for her until Sat.u.r.day.'
'What's happening on Sat.u.r.day?'
Kate told him about the disco and, to her amus.e.m.e.nt, Jack scowled in disapproval.
'You're letting her loose among teenage boys?'
'She's thirteen, Jack. And Ben will be on hand to help Jim Carey fend off gatecrashers, so she won't come to any harm.'
'I'll ring Jim and offer my help-'
'No, you will not, Jack! Get to know Joanna first before you start acting the heavy parent.'
He smiled reluctantly. 'All right. You win-this time.' He picked her up and sat down on the chaise with her on his lap. 'You do realise what this means?' he said, his eyes inches from hers.
'What does what mean?' she said unevenly.
'If you refuse to tell Joanna I'm her father I'll just have to marry her aunt and become her uncle.'
'No way. Living a lie isn't easy, Jack-I speak from experience.'
'I thought you'd say that,' he said with satisfaction. 'Then we revert to Plan A and get Joanna so used to having me around she'll probably start asking my intentions.'
'You haven't been around at all lately,' she reminded him tartly.
His eyes smouldered. 'Do you blame me? You turned me down for the second time, Kate.'
'Don't tell me you were heartbroken, Jack Logan,' she retorted. 'I happen to know you went back to your haunts in London!'
'Yes. For all the good it did me.' He held her closer, smiling ruefully as he told her about the unsuccessful evening with Hester Morris. 'You can laugh if you like.'
She shook her head, secretly so delighted she wanted to hug him until his ribs cracked. 'I didn'twant to turn you down, Jack. You can see, now, why I did. Besides, I didn't turn you down flat the first time either. I just wanted to work in London for a while before getting married.' Kate sighed. 'I took it for granted I'd see you every weekend once you realised you couldn't live without me.' to turn you down, Jack. You can see, now, why I did. Besides, I didn't turn you down flat the first time either. I just wanted to work in London for a while before getting married.' Kate sighed. 'I took it for granted I'd see you every weekend once you realised you couldn't live without me.'
'Which is exactly what happened,' he said grimly. 'Only fate-in the shape of Dawn-intervened.'
'And what a shape it was,' Kate retorted. 'No wonder you couldn't resist.'
Jack kissed her suddenly, holding her still when she tried to protest, and after a moment or two Kate gave up protesting and kissed him back. He raised his head, his eyes gleaming as he smoothed a lock of hair back from her face. 'It was nothing to do with her shape,' he said huskily. 'I was like a kid wanting comfort, and Dawn provided it as bait to hook a husband. Not that I'm blaming her-it was mym is take.'
'You paid through the nose for it, Jack!'
'You paid a far higher price than me. But we can't go on paying, Kate.' He kissed her again, his hands sliding into her hair to hold her still. She leaned into him and he smoothed a hand down her face, his forehead against hers. 'I want you so much,' he said hoa.r.s.ely, and she clutched him closer, aroused by the note of desperation in his voice.
'Have you left Bran outside in the car?'
'No.' He put her away from him to look into her face. 'He's staying with Dad again tonight. Why?'
'I just wondered.' Kate relaxed against him again. 'I'm so glad you know everything, Jack. It's been desperately hard to keep the truth from you.'
'You've never told anyone else? Not even the banker you were engaged to?'
'Not even David. While Elizabeth and Robert were alive I couldn't tell anyone.' She paused. 'Besides, you're the only one I ever wanted to tell, Jack.' And right now she also wanted him to pick her up and carry her upstairs to bed. She was trying to find a way to tell him that when Jack set her on her feet and stood up.
'I should be going. You look tired, Katie.'
She pulled a face. 'You mean I look like a hag.'
Jack smiled. 'You look so much the opposite of a hag I'd better go before I do something you'll regret.'
Kate looked him in the eye. 'Do you want to stay the night?' she said baldly.
With a groan of pure relief Jack picked her up and sat down with her on the chaise. 'Of course I want to stay the night!' he said roughly and rubbed his cheek against hers. 'Not just to make love, though G.o.d knows I want that so much I ache for you, Katie. But I need to hold you in my arms all night most of all, to make up for all those other nights when you weren't there.'
'My thoughts exactly.' She grinned as Jack stood up with her and set her on her feet. 'Only my version had you carrying me up to bed. But don't try it. The stairs here are too narrow.'
'No romance in getting you black and blue,' he agreed. 'You go up first so I can enjoy your back view.' He gave her a tap on the bottom and Kate gave him a smile of such radiance his eyes blazed in response.
'I've missed you, Jack.'
'I've missed you too.'
'Then why did you keep away?'
He smiled crookedly. 'Because I'm a stubborn idiot. I had to prove that I could, I suppose. But I'm here now.'
'Only because you wanted to show me your mother's photographs,' she reminded him as she started up the stairs.
'I had other reasons.' He followed her up so closely she could feel his breath on her neck. 'Some of them very pressing,' he added huskily as he picked her up on the landing. 'Even shorter journey this time,' he said with satisfaction, and carried her into the bedroom. 'In college a girl told me that carrying a woman to bed was the best foreplay of the lot.'
'So that's why you do it!' Kate chuckled as he sat down with her on the bed, holding her on his lap. 'And did it work with the lady in question?'
Jack shook his head regretfully. 'I never tried it. She was a gorgeous Amazon, built on generous lines. Think of the damage to my ego-and other parts-if I'd dropped her halfway!'
Kate let out a snort of laughter as she hugged him close. 'She was right, though. It does appeal to the female in a woman.'
'It helps when the female is a featherweight. Like you.'
'You mean skinny,' she said, resigned.
He undid the b.u.t.tons on her s.h.i.+rt and peeled it off, then turned her away from him to unclasp her bra. 'Definitely not skinny-just fine, delicate bones covered with silky skin,' he said unevenly, and kissed the back of her neck as he caressed her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, taking deep satisfaction in her hurried breathing. Kate endured the exquisite torture for a moment, then twisted round and flung her arms round his neck and, with a relis.h.i.+ng sound, he kissed her fiercely. Her hands slid under his sweater, tugging at it until he yanked it over his head and pulled her against his chest.
'Wait,' said Kate hoa.r.s.ely, and stood up to kick off her suede boots and undo the zip of the tailored trousers she'd worn for the trip to Worcester. Holding his eyes, she slid them off, removing the strip of lace beneath at the same time, and Jack went down on his knees to kiss her scar. She stood as still as she could under the gentle caress, but the hurried frantic rhythm of her breathing gave her away as his lips moved lower and lower until his tongue penetrated moist heat to find the tiny secret part of her that quivered, erect in its hiding place, so exquisitely sensitive that when his caresses homed in on it she gasped and stiffened, her hands fisted in his hair as waves of sensation swept over her.
Jack got to his feet and laid her on the bed, looking down at her in such triumphant possession Kate felt a throb of fiery response in the place where he'd just caused such havoc. He stripped off the rest of his clothes and joined her, uttering a visceral groan of pure pleasure as their bodies came into full naked contact.
'Firstly, I've now seen-and kissed-the famous scar,' he said against her mouth.
'Not only the scar!' She thrust herself closer, her eyes gleaming in triumph as she felt his erection nudge against her.
'Secondly, and maybe thirdly and fourthly, I want to do this-and this.' He slid his hands down her spine, then up to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, cupping them as he bent his head to take a nipple into his mouth, his fingers teasing its twin. She made a sound he stifled with a kiss, and then moved his lips over her face as his hands continued such subtle torment she felt she'd die if he didn't take her soon and, just as she was about to pummel him in desperate demand, he sheathed himself inside her to the hilt and she gave a moan of pa.s.sionate relief.
'I love you so much, Katie,' he said, his voice gruff with the raw need he was fighting to keep in check.
'I love you, too,' she said breathlessly, the last word swallowed in a gasp as he began to move and her body responded ardently as he thrust harder and deeper. Her hips rose to meet him, flesh meeting flesh as the relentless rhythm accelerated to a wild crescendo that sent her gasping into orbit seconds before his own release engulfed him and she held his face to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s in fierce possession as his body poured its tribute into hers before collapsing on top of her, taking away what little breath she had left.
When he found the will to move, Jack turned over on his back, rolling her with him and Kate drew in a deep, reviving breath as she settled in the crook of his arm.
'This is how it should have been all along,' he said, a lazy note of contentment in his voice.
'If we had been together all along-fourteen years to be precise-we would be an old married couple, and "this" as you put it, would surely be less frenetic by now,' Kate pointed out.
'I meant just being here together, in bed in each other's arms instead of all the nights we spent alone. At least I did,' he added, and put her away a fraction to look into her eyes. 'You shared a bed with this banker of yours.'
'You make that sound like a rude word,' she protested. 'His name was David, and I was engaged to him. Of course we shared a bed. But he had a television in the bedroom so I often fell asleep while he was watching England play cricket on the other side of the world, or whatever.'
'No wonder you packed him in.' He pulled her closer, his cheek against hers. 'When you come to live at Mill House you sleep-or not sleep-with me. No television in my bedroom.'
'I noticed,' she said absently, and pulled back a little, frowning. 'Jack, if we manage to sort things out with Joanna, and we do move in with you at Mill House one day, what will I do with this one? I hate the thought of selling it.'
'Make it over to Joanna,' he said promptly. 'It can be leased out until she's old enough to decide what happens to it.'
Kate sighed. 'It sounds so easy when you talk about it like that, Jack, but first we've got to get over this great big hurdle of telling her she's ours.'
'At least you said "ours" not "mine",' he said, kissing her.
Kate kissed him back, then turned to look at her alarm clock. 'It's after midnight,' she said with regret. 'Time you were going, Jack.'
He pulled her close again. 'Why?'
'You work long hours and need your sleep. Besides,' she added, batting her eyelashes at him, 'I'm not sure I want that Jensen of yours parked outside my house all night.'
'I came in the Jeep.' Jack smiled triumphantly. 'And I left it near the park gates, well away from your smart front door.'
'Did you now!' Kate's eyes narrowed speculatively. 'And you left Bran with your father.' you left Bran with your father.'
'I certainly did.'
'So you intended to stay from the start.'
'While I was driving from London I decided to come here after seeing Dad and tell you I was ready to do any d.a.m.n thing you wanted as long as we were part of each other's lives again. I left Bran with him so I could spend time persuading you after Jo was in bed.' He smiled crookedly. 'I thought she was much younger than she actually is, Kate. When Dad mentioned the photographs the truth hit me in the face.'
Kate looked at him in entreaty. 'Were you angry with me, Jack?'