Wit and Wisdom of Don Quixote Part 28

"I am so taken up with business that I have not yet had time to let you know whether it goes well or ill with me in this same government, where I am more hunger-starved than when you and I wandered through woods and wildernesses.

"My lord duke wrote to me the other day to inform me of some spies that were got into this island to kill me; but as yet I have discovered none but a certain doctor, hired by the islanders to kill all the governors that come near it. They call him Dr. Pedro Rezio de Anguero, and he was born at Tirteafuera. His name is enough to make me fear he will be the death of me. This same doctor says of himself, that he does cure diseases when you have them; but when you have them not, he only pretends to keep them from coming. The physic he uses is fasting upon fasting, till he turns a body to a mere skeleton; as if to be wasted to skin and bones were not as bad as a fever. In short, he starves me to death; so that, when I thought, as being a governor, to have plenty of good hot victuals and cool liquor, and to repose on a soft feather-bed, I am come to do penance like a hermit.

"I have not yet so much as fingered the least penny of money, either for fees or anything else; and how it comes to be no better with me I cannot imagine, for I have heard that the governors who come to this island are wont to have a very good gift, or at least a very round sum given them by the town before they enter. And they say, too, that this is the usual custom, not only here but in other places.

"Last night, in going my rounds, I met with a mighty handsome damsel in boy's clothes, and a brother of hers in woman's apparel. My gentleman-waiter fell in love with the girl, and intends to make her his wife, as he says. As for the youth, I have pitched on him to be my son-in-law. To-day we both design to talk to the father, one Diego de la Llana, who is a gentleman, and an old Christian every inch of him.

"I visit the markets as you advised me, and yesterday found one of the hucksters selling hazel-nuts. She pretended they were all new; but I found she had mixed a whole bushel of old, empty, rotten nuts among the same quant.i.ty of new. With that I adjudged them to be given to the hospital boys, who know how to pick the good from the bad, and gave sentence against her that she should not come into the market for fifteen days; and people said I did well.

"I am mighty well pleased that my lady d.u.c.h.ess has written to my wife, Teresa Pauza, and sent her the token you mention. It shall go hard but I will requite her kindness one time or other. Pray give my service to her, and tell her from me she has not cast her gift in a broken sack, as something more than words shall show.

"If I might advise you, and had my wish, there should be no falling out between your wors.h.i.+p and my lord and lady; for, if you quarrel with them, it is I must come by the worst for it. And, since you mind me of being grateful, it will not look well in you not to be so to those who have made so much of you at their castle.

"If my wife, Teresa Panza, writes to me, pray pay the postage and send me the letter; for I have a mighty desire to know how fares it with her, and my house and children. So Heaven protect your wors.h.i.+p from evil-minded enchanters, and bring me safe and sound out of this government; which I very much doubt, seeing how I am treated by Doctor Pedro Rezio.

"Your wors.h.i.+p's servant,

"SANCHO PANZA, _the Governor_."

TERESA PANZA'S LETTER TO HER HUSBAND, SANCHO PANZA.

"I received thy letter, dear Sancho of my soul, and I promise and swear to thee, on the faith of a Catholic Christian, I was within two finger-breadths of running mad with joy; and take notice, brother, when I heard thou wast a governor, I had liked to have dropped down dead with pure pleasure; for thou knowest they say sudden joy kills as well as deadly sorrow.

"Thy hunting-suit lay before me, the string of corals sent by lady d.u.c.h.ess was tied round my neck, the letters were in my hand, and the messenger in my presence; and yet I imagined and believed that all I saw and handled was a dream, for who could conceive that a goatherd should come to be governor of islands? Thou knowest, my friend, that my mother said, 'One must live long to see a great deal.' This I mention because I hope to see more if I live longer, for I do not intend to stop until I see thee a farmer or collector of the revenue,--offices which, though they carry those who abuse them to the devil, are, in short, always bringing in the penny.

"My lady d.u.c.h.ess will tell thee how desirous I am of going to court.

Consider of it, and let me know thy pleasure, for I will endeavor to do thee honor there by riding in my coach.

"The curate, barber, bachelor, and even the s.e.xton, cannot believe thou art a governor, and say the whole is a deception or matter of enchantment, like all the affairs of thy master, Don Quixote. Sampson vows he will go in quest of thee, and drive this government out of thy head, as well as the madness out of Don Quixote's skull. I say nothing, but laugh in my own sleeve, look at my beads, and contrive how to make thy hunting-suit into a gown and petticoat for our daughter. I have sent some acorns to my lady d.u.c.h.ess, and I wish they were of gold. Send me some strings of pearls, if they are in fas.h.i.+on in thy island.

"The news of our town are these: the widow of the hill has matched her daughter with a bungling painter, who came here and undertook all sort of work. The corporation employed him to paint the king's arms over the gate of the town-house. He asked them two ducats for the job, which they paid beforehand; so he fell to it and worked eight days, at the end of which he had made nothing of it, and said he could not bring his hand to paint such trumpery, and returned the money; yet, for all that, he married in the name of a good workman. The truth is, he has left his brushes and taken up the spade, and goes to the field like a gentleman.

Pedro de Lobo's son has taken orders and shaved his crown, meaning to be a priest. Minguilla, Mingo Silvato's niece, hearing of it, is suing him upon a promise of marriage. We have had no olives this year, nor is there a drop of vinegar to be had in all the town. A company of foot-soldiers pa.s.sed through here, and carried off with them three girls. I will not say who they are; mayhap they will return, and somebody or other marry them, with all their faults. Sanchica makes bone-lace, and gets eight maravedis a day, which she drops into a saving-box, to help her toward household stuff; but now that she is a governor's daughter, she has no need to work, for thou wilt give her a portion without it. The fountain in our market-place is dried up. A thunderbolt fell upon the pillory, and there may they all alight! I expect an answer to this, and about my going to court. And so G.o.d grant thee more years than myself, or as many, for I would not willingly leave thee behind me.

"Thy wife,

"TERESA PANZA."

To think that the affairs of this life are always to remain in the same state is an erroneous fancy. The face of things rather seems continually to change and roll with circular motion; summer succeeds the spring, autumn the summer, winter the autumn, and then spring again. So time proceeds in this perpetual round; only the life of man is ever hastening to its end, swifter than time itself, without hopes to be renewed, unless in the next, that is unlimited and infinite. For even by the light of nature and without that of faith, many have discovered the swiftness and instability of this present being, and the duration of the eternal life which is expected.

"I know St. Peter is well at Rome," meaning every one does well to follow the employment to which he was bred.

Let no one stretch his feet beyond the length of his sheet.

When thou art in Rome follow the fas.h.i.+ons of Rome.

Sweet is our love of native land.

The prudent man who is expecting to be deprived of his habitation looks out for another before he is turned out of doors.

Well-got wealth may meet disaster, But ill-got wealth destroys its master.

Bread is relief for all kind of grief.

We can bear with patience the ill-luck that comes alone.

Man projects in vain, For G.o.d doth still ordain.

As is the reason, Such is the season.

Let no man presume to think Of this cup I will not drink.

Where the flitch we hope to find, Not even a hook is left behind.

Keep a safe conscience, and let people say what they will.

It is as impracticable to tie up the tongue of malice as to erect barricades in the open fields.

"If a governor resigns his office in good circ.u.mstances, people say he must have been an oppressor and a knave; and if poverty attends him in his retreat, they set him down as an idiot and fool."

"For this time," answered Sancho, "I am certain they will think me more fool than knave."

The great Sancho Panza, the flower and mirror of all island governors.

A law neglected is the same as if it had never been enacted.

Give always to the cat What was kept for the rat, And let it be thy view All mischief to eschew.

It is fitting that all who receive a benefit should show themselves grateful, though it be only a trifle.

SONG OF ALTISIDORA.

Stay, cruel knight, Take not thy flight, Nor spur thy battered jade; Thy haste restrain, Draw in the rein, And hear a love-sick maid.

Why dost thou fly?

No snake am I, That poison those I love.

Gentle I am As any lamb, And harmless as a dove.

Thy cruel scorn Has left forlorn A nymph whose charms may vie With theirs who sport In Cynthia's court, Though Venus' self were by.

Since, fugitive knight, to no purpose I woo thee, Barabbas's fate still pursue and undo thee!

Like ravenous kite That takes its flight Soon as't has stol'n a chicken, Thou bear'st away My heart, thy prey, And leav'st me here to sicken.

Three night-caps, too, And garters blue, That did to legs belong Smooth to the sight As marble white, And faith, almost as strong.

Two thousand groans, As many moans, And sighs enough to fire Old Priam's town, And burn it down, Did it again aspire.

Since, fugitive knight, to no purpose I woo thee, Barabbas's fate still pursue and undo thee!

May Sancho ne'er His b.u.t.tocks bare Fly-flap, as is his duty; And thou still want To disenchant Dulcinea's injured beauty.

May still transformed, And still deformed, Toboso's nymph remain, In recompense Of thy offence, Thy scorn and cold disdain.

When thou dost wield Thy sword in field, In combat, or in quarrel, Ill-luck and harms Attend thy arms, Instead of fame and laurel.

Since, fugitive knight, to no purpose I woo thee, Barabbas's fate still pursue and undo thee!

May thy disgrace Fill every place, Thy falsehood ne'er be hid, But round the world Be tossed and hurled, From Seville to Madrid.