De Turkey and De Law Part 7

LIGE Don't come rollin' yo' eyes at me an' gittin' all mad cause y'all stuck on de boys and de boys is stuck on Daisy. (makes a sly face at Walter)

t.e.e.t.s Who? Me? n.o.body ain't studyin' 'bout ole Daisy. She come before me like a gnat in a whirlwind.

WALTER (in mock seriousness) Better stop dat talkin' 'bout Daisy, do I'll tell her whut you say. I think I better call her anyhow and see whether you gointer talk dat big talk to her face. (Makes a move as if to call Daisy)

LIGE (keeping up the raillery, grabs Walter) Don't do dat, Walter. We don't want no trouble round here. But sho nuff, [Note: corrected missing s.p.a.ce.] girls, y'all ain't got no time wid Daisy. Know what Lum say?

Says Daisy is a bucket flower--jes' _made_ him to set up on de porch an' look pritty. I ast him how 'bout de rest an' he says "Oh de rest is yard flowers jes' plant them any which a way.

BOOTSIE I don't b'lieve Lum said no sich uh thing.

LIGE You tellin' dat flat--Ah knows. (Looks off left) Here come Lum, now, in uh big hurry jus' lak he ain't been gone two hours.

BIG 'OMAN Less we all go git our treat! (They start up on the porch. At that moment Hambo, Lindsay, Clarke, Simms, and the two women enter from the store.)

CLARKE (to Lige) Looks here, I G.o.d! Ain't Lum lit dat lamp yet? (Enter Lum left hurriedly. Clarke stands akimbo glaring at him. Lum fumbles for a match, strikes it and drops it. Gets another from his pocket and goes to the lamp and strikes it.) Somebody reach de numbskull uh box.

(Walter hands Lum a box of the porch and he gets up on it and opens the lamp to light it.)

LUM (to Clarke) Reckon Ah better put some oil in de lamp. Tain't much in it.

CLARKE (Impatiently) Oh, that'll do! That'll do. It'll be time tuh put it out befo' you git it lit, I G.o.d.

(Lum lights the lamp. The men have resumed their seats and the women are on the ground and near right exit. Walter and Lige and the three girls are at the door about to enter the store. Lum has the box in his hand and is still under the lamp. He walks slowly towards the step, box in hand. At the step he looks off left.)

LUM Here come Dave. (All look left. Walter and Lige and the girls abandon the idea of the treat and wait for Dave)

HAMBO But ah ain't seen no turkey yet. Dat ole gobbler's too smart for Dave.

(Enter Dave with gun over his shoulder and holding his head. A little blood is on his shoulder. He pauses under the lamp a moment then comes to the step)

HAMBO Whuss de matter, Dave? Dat ole turkey gobbler done pecked you in de head? Whut kind of a huntsman is you?

(General laughter)

DAVE Naw, ain't no turkey pecked me. It's Jim. Ah wuz out in de woods and hand don squatted down before he got dere. Ah know jus' where dat ole gobbler roost at. Soon's he hit de limb an' squatted hisself, Ah let 'im have it. He flopped his wings an' tried to fly off but here he come tumblin' down right by dem ole mule bones. Jim, he was jus'

comin' up when Ah fired. So when he seen dat turkey fallin', whut do he do? He fires off his gun an' make out he kilt dat turkey. Ah beat him tuh de bird and we got tuh tusslin'. He tries tuh make _me_ give him _mah_ turkey so's he kin run tuh Daisy an' make out he done kilt it. So we got tuh fightin' an' Ah wuz beatin' him too till he retched down an' got de hock bone uh dat mule an' lammed me over de head an'

fore Ah could git up, he done took mah turkey an' went wid it. (to Clarke) Mist Clarke Ah wants tuh swear out uh warrant ginst Jim Weston. Ahm gointer law him outa dis town, too.

SIMMS Dat wuz uh low-down caper, Jim, cut sho nuff.

CLARKE Sho its uh ugly caper tuh cut. Come on inside, Dave, an Ah'll make out de papers. He ain't goin' to carry on lak dat in _my_ town.

(Exit Dave and Clarke into de store)

LINDSAY (Jokingly to Sims) See whut capers you Meth'dis n.i.g.g.e.rs'll cut--lammin' folks over de head wid mule bones an' stealin' they turkeys.

SIMMS Oh you Baptist ain't uh lot better'n n.o.body else. You steals an'

fights too.

LINDSAY (still bantering) Yeah, but we done kotched dis Meth'dis n.i.g.g.e.r an' we gointer run him right on outa town too. Jus' wait an' see. Yeah, boy.

Dat Jim'll be uh gone gator 'fore tomorrow night.

WALTER Oh, I don't know whether he's gointer be gone or not. We Meth'dis got jus' as much say-so in dis town as anybody else.

LIGE Yeah. You Baptis run yo' mouf but you don't run de town. Furthermo' we ain't heard nothin' but Dave's lie. Better wait till we see Jim an'

git de straight of dis thing.

HAMBO Will you lissen at dat? Dese half-washed Christians hates de truth lak uh bed-bug hates de light. G.o.d a' mighty! (rising) Ahm goin' in an'

see to it dat de Mayor makes dem papers out right. (He exits angrily into the store. Simms and all the men rise too)

SIMMS Come on Walter, you an Lige. Less we go inside too. Dat po' boy got tuh git jestice. An' 'tween de Mayor an' dese Baptists he ain't got much chance. (They exit into the store)

1st WOMAN Come on you young gals, whut y'all wanta be hangin' round de store an'

its way after black dark. Yo' mammies oughter take an frail de las'

one of yuh! Come along! (The girls come downoff the porch and join the women. Loud angry voices inside the store)

2nd WOMAN Lawd, lemme git home an' tell my husban' bout all dis. Umph! Umph!

(The women and girls exit as the men all emerge from the store. Lum comes first with the warrant in his hand. Clarke emerges last.)

CLARKE Can't have all dat fuss an' racket in my store. All of you git outside dat wants tuh fight? (He begins to close up)

SIMMS But Brother Mayor, I said it, an' I'll say it agin, tain't right--

CLARKE (turns angrily) I G.o.d, Clarke [Hand written correction: Simms], Ah don't keer whut you say. 'Taint worth uh hill uh beans nohow. Jim is gointer be 'rested for hittin' Dave an' takin' his turkey, an' if he's found guilty he's goin' way from here. Tain't no use uh you swellin'

up neither. (to Lum) Go get him, Lum, an' lock 'im in my barn an' put dat turkey under arrest too. I G.o.d, de law is gointer be law in my town. (Exit Lum with an important air.)

WALTER Where de trial gointer be, Brother Clarke, in de hall?

CLARKE Nope, it's too little. It'll hafta be in de Baptist Church. Ah reckon dat's de bigges' place in town. Three o'clock Monday evening. Now, y'all git on off my porch tuh fuss. Lige, outen dat lamp for Lum.

(The stage goes black. The crowd is dispersing slowly. Angry voices are heard. The curtain is descending slowly. Off-stage right the voice of Lum is heard calling Daisy.)

LUM Oh Daisy! Daisy!

DAISY (at a distance) What you want, Lum?

LUM Tell yo' mama to put on de hot water kittle. I'll be round there before long.

_CURTAIN_

ACT II

Scene I