A Sailor of King George Part 3

We arrived there three weeks afterwards, having captured on our pa.s.sage a French brig laden with coffee. We completed our water, and took on board a Capuchin friar and two mulatto officers, for what purpose we never could find except to give them a cruise. The friar, who was a quiet, fat, rather good-looking man, messed in the cabin. The wicked mids said to "confess"

the captain.

One afternoon we anch.o.r.ed in a bay to the westward of Cape Francois. The carpenter was directed to go on sh.o.r.e and cut some bamboos for boats'

yards. The pinnace was despatched with himself, a master's mate and nine men. They landed and had cut about nine poles when they were fired on from the bushes. They, not being armed-for the mulatto officers a.s.sured us there was no danger-attempted to reach the boat, but before they could do so the carpenter was killed and two men seriously wounded and taken prisoners. The rest jumped into the boat and came on board. The captain appeared to feel he had done wrong in placing confidence in people who were strangers to him. After cruising on the north side of St. Domingo without capturing anything, we returned to the mole. Our worthy, hasty-tempered skipper was taken unwell about a month after our arrival, and took apartments on sh.o.r.e, where he in a fortnight afterwards died.

The captain who stepped into his shoes was a dark, tolerably well-built, good-looking man, who had a very good opinion of himself, and by his frequently looking at his legs, imagined there was not such another pair in the West Indies. This gallant officer proved the quintessence of gallantry. He loved the ladies, loved a good table, loved the games of crabs and _rouge-et-noir_, was a judge of hock and champagne. He had seen much of high and low life, had experienced reverses, he said, through the imprudence of others, and had been detained in a large house in London much longer than he wished. He had run through two handsome fortunes, and was willing to run through two more. He had the misfortune, he told us, of being a slave to the pleasures of the world, although he knew it was filled with rogues. Whilst I was with him his memory was rather impaired, for he forgot to repay several sums of money he borrowed, although he was frequently written to on the subject. In short, he was a libertine, liked but by no means respected. He brought with him six mids and his clerk. The first were complete scamps, picked up from the sc.r.a.pings of London; the last was a fine young man. Our martinet mastheading first lieutenant, who had outlived all the others save one, was promoted as commander into a sloop of war, in which he died a few months after of apoplexy in consequence of repletion. The only one remaining of those who sailed from England with me was a few months afterwards also promoted as commander into a brig sloop, and he, poor fellow! was drowned on his second cruise.

The six lieutenants who came from England were now no longer living, and out of eighteen mids.h.i.+pmen only another and myself were in existence. The lieutenants who had superseded those who died were rather commonplace characters. The discipline of the s.h.i.+p was totally changed. The first lieutenant was a disappointed officer and a complete old woman, and the s.h.i.+p was something of a privateer.

CHAPTER VI.

TOUGH YARNS.

Tough yarns-The sea-serpent-The fair-wind sellers of Bremen-Mermen and mermaidens-Capture of Spanish schooner with mulatto laundresses on board-Boat attack on, and capture of the French privateer _Salamandre_-Outbreak of malignant scurvy-Novel method of treatment-French women dressed as men-A voyage of discovery.

We generally had about seventy men in the sick list, and were at anchor nearly four months-half the crew doing nothing and the other half helping them. They generally amused themselves by dancing, singing, or telling tough yarns. I was much entertained by hearing some of them relate the following stories, which they declared were true.

"My brother," said one of these galley-benchmen, "belonged to the _Unicorn_, of s.h.i.+elds, which traded to Archangel in the White Sea. I suppose," said he, "it is called the White Sea because there is much snow on the sh.o.r.e, which throws a kind of white reflection on the water. Well, the s.h.i.+p had anch.o.r.ed about a mile from the town, when my brother, who had the middle watch, saw something like the s.h.i.+p's buoy close to the vessel.

At first he took little notice of it until it raised itself about three feet out of the water and opened a mouth wide enough to swallow a Yankee flour-barrel. He was very much afeared, for he was only a young chap without much experience. He immediately jumped down to the chief mate's cabin and told him what he had seen. They both went on deck, the mate armed with a loaded pistol and my brother with a cutla.s.s. By this time the serpent-for it was a sea-serpent-had twisted itself round the bowsprit of the vessel, and was about twenty feet long. Its eyes were about the size of the scuppers and s.h.i.+ned like the morning star." "Why, Bill," said one of the listeners, "clap a stopper on that yarn; those sarpents are only seen on the coast of Ameriky, and n.o.body but Yankees ever seed them."

"Avast, Bob," replied the narrator, "don't be too hasty; it is as true as the mainstay is moused, for I never knew Jack tell a lie (meaning his brother), and now I'll fill and stand on. The boatswain, hearing the noise, came on deck. The mate pointed to the monster, and told him to get an axe. The beast had bristled up like an American porcupine and was ready to dart at them when the mate got abaft the foremast and fired at its head, which he missed, but struck it in the neck. The animal, finding itself wounded, darted with its jaws wider than a large shark's at the boatswain, who was the nearest. Luckily for him, the mate was ready to fire his pistol again. The ball struck its lower jaw and broke it. It then made a stern-board, but before it could reach the bows the boatswain gave it a stroke with the axe which nearly gullyteened it; you know, s.h.i.+pmates, what that is. Why, mayhap you don't; so I'll tell you. It's a kind of gallows that cuts off Frenchmen's heads. But I must heave-to a bit and overhaul my reckoning, for I almost forget. Did ever any of you see a port-go-chaire?" "We never heard of such a port," said some of his auditors; "you're humbugging us." "I have been to America, the West and East Ingees, but I never heard of such a port," said another. "Why, you lubbers," said the story-teller, "if you go to France, you'll see thousands of them. It's what they drive the coaches under into their yards." I was inclined to correct the word, but I thought it better not to interrupt them. "Where did I leave off?" "Come, Bill, heave ahead and save tide; your yarn is as long as the stream cable; they'll be piping to grog presently," said one of his impatient listeners. "Well," said Bill, "to make short a long story, I left off where the boatswain cut off the head of the sea-serpent. By this time all hands were on deck; they threw a rope over the beast and secured it to the cable-bits, but not before they had got several raps over their s.h.i.+ns, as it kept twisting about for almost an hour afterwards. Next morning, said my brother, the magistrates having heard of it, came on board to know all about it, as no one in the town had ever seen such a serpent. A man with a c.o.c.ked sc.r.a.per offered to buy it, but the mate wanted to stuff it and carry it to England. The captain who had come off with the magistrates said it could not remain on board, as it would bring on an infection. At last it was agreed that if four dollars were given to the s.h.i.+p's crew, he might have it. The money was paid to the mate, and the serpent towed on sh.o.r.e, and before they sailed Jack saw it in a large room, stuffed and the head spliced on, among a great many more comical-looking animals. And if any of you go there," added he, "you may see all for nothing." The boatswain's mates now piped for supper, and the party left the galley-bench.

The following evening I found another set on the bench. Their tales were rather marvellous. The captain of the waist of the starboard watch was the teller. He began by asking the others if they had ever been in the Baltic, to which they answered in the negative. "It is now," said he, "five years since I sailed in the _Mary_, of Newcastle, to Bremen. We had been lying there a fortnight, taking in hemp and iron, when two old, ugly women came on board in a small boat paddled by themselves. They had with them two small leather bags full of wind. They went to the chief mate, for the captain was on sh.o.r.e, and asked him if he would buy a fair wind, and pointed to their bags. 'How long will it last?' asked the mate. 'Two days,' said the hags; 'but if you want it for four, we will to-morrow bring you off a larger sack.' 'And what do you ask for it?' said he. 'Oh, only eight dollars,' replied they."

I must inform my reader that the greater number of the sons of the sea, although fearless of the enemy and of the weather, however stormy, are superst.i.tious and have implicit faith in ghost-stories, mermaids, witches and sea-monsters, as well as in the flying Dutch s.h.i.+p off the Cape of Good Hope. This rough son of the north was a hardy sailor, but he had his share of credulity. He told them the captain was on sh.o.r.e, but if they would come off in the morning, as they were to sail the following afternoon, it might be settled. The weather at this time was anything but fair, which made him the readier to enter into the witches' bargain. Here I must first inform my reader that these women are exceedingly cunning, and can not only scan the mind of the person they deal with, but can also, from keen observation, calculate on the wind and weather for the next twenty-four hours, and, as what they prognosticate generally proves true, they frequently meet with ready customers. Next morning the captain came on board, and shortly afterwards was followed by the h.o.a.ry fair-wind sellers.

After some consultation with the mate, the captain gave four dollars for a bag of fair wind for three days from the time he was to sail.

"The wind," continued the captain of the waist, "remained foul until four o'clock next day, when it veered round and became favourable. The believing captain and mate thought they had made a good bargain. The bag was to be untied after three hours." I reflected on this narrative, and was astonished to find that people who are Englishmen, and who, generally speaking, imagine themselves the most free from superst.i.tion and the most intellectual of any nation, should be so easily deceived and cheated by a set of old women.

It was now the turn of another to spin his yarn. He began by entreating his s.h.i.+pmates not to disbelieve what he was going to say, for it was about mermen and mermaids. He did not see it himself, but it had been told him two years before by his uncle, who was mate of a s.h.i.+p that traded to the North Sea. "The s.h.i.+p," said he, "was the _John and Thomas_, named after the owner's two brothers, and bound to Stockholm for flax and iron. One day they were becalmed near the Island of Oland, and let go the anchor in twelve-fathoms water, when soon afterwards they saw, as they supposed, two men swimming towards the s.h.i.+p. They soon after came alongside, and made signs for a rope to be thrown to them. On their getting on deck the crew found they were mermen. One of them, who appeared to be about twenty-six years old, told the captain he had let go his anchor through his kitchen chimney, and begged him to weigh it again, as it had knocked down the kitchen-grate and spoilt his dinner. 'It has happened very unfortunately,'

said he, 'for we have some friends from the coast of Jutland, who have come to attend the christening of our infant.' Whilst he was speaking four young mermaidens appeared close to the s.h.i.+p's side, making signs for the mermen on board to join them. The sailors wished them to come on board, and threw them ropes for that purpose; but they were too shy. The mermen requested the captain to give them some matches to light their fire, and a few candles. This being complied with, they shook hands with him and the mate, and jumping overboard, rejoined the females, swam round the s.h.i.+p three times, singing some kind of song, and disappeared. The wind becoming favourable, the crew got the anchor up, on which, when catheaded, they found part of the chimney and the fire-tongs astride on one of the flukes!"

When this improbable tale was told, I asked them if they believed it to be true. "Yes," said two of them, "we do, because we have had s.h.i.+pmates who lived with some of the mermaidens for several years and had children; but as for their having combs and gla.s.ses, that's all nonsense. One of the children was sent to London to be educated, but not liking so many double-tailed monsters, as he called the men, nor their manner of living, he crept down to the Thames, and in a few hours rejoined his parents."

During the time we were at anchor at this place I was ordered, with four seamen and two marines, to take the command of a block-house on the Presqu' Isle to watch the movements of the enemy, whose advanced post was about four miles on the other side the isthmus, as well as to make signals to the commodore whenever strange s.h.i.+ps appeared near the land. I remained a month, shooting guanas and gulls and other birds, catching groupers, snappers and sometimes rock-fish, living princ.i.p.ally on salt junk, mids.h.i.+pman's coffee (burnt biscuit ground to a powder), picking calelu (a kind of wild spinach), when we could find it, snuffing up a large portion of pure sea-breeze, and sleeping like the sheet anchor. Oh, reader, I blush to inform you that I was envied by the greater part of the mids of the squadron who loved doing nothing. The life I now led was too independent to last much longer; my month expired, when I gave up my Robinson Crusoe government to a master's mate belonging to a s.h.i.+p which had come in to refit. We at length up-anch.o.r.ed, as the mids declared if we remained longer the captain feared we should ground on the beef-bones we threw overboard daily! Three days after sailing we captured a Spanish schooner from Cuba, bound to Port-au-Paix, with nine French washerwomen on board with a quant.i.ty of clothes. We presumed, with some reason, these copper-faced damsels-for they were all mulattos, and some of them handsome-had taken French leave of their customers, or possibly they were going on a voyage of discovery to find out whether the water of St.

Domingo was softer for was.h.i.+ng linen than that of Cuba. We did not ask them many questions on the subject, and as the vessel was nearly new, and about seventy tons, we put a mid and five men on board her and sent the ladies for a change of air to Jamaica.

We had been cruising between Cuba and Cape Francois a fortnight, when we saw a roguish-looking black schooner about nine miles to the westward of the cape, close to a small inlet. We tacked and stood to sea, to make her imagine we had not discovered her. At dusk we stood in again, and at ten we armed the barge and large cutter. The fifth lieutenant, who was a great promoter of radical moisture (_i.e._, grog), was in the barge. I had, with another mid, the command of the cutter. We m.u.f.fled our oars and pulled quietly in sh.o.r.e. About midnight we found the vessel near the inlet, where she had anch.o.r.ed. We then gave way for our quarter. She soon discovered us, and hailed in French. Not receiving an answer, she fired a volley of musketry at us. The strokesman of my boat fell shot in the brain, and two others were seriously wounded in the arm and leg. We had three marines, two additional seamen and my volunteer messmate in our boat. This last had smuggled himself in without the first lieutenant's leave. We cheered and stretched out. The killed and wounded were placed in the bottom of the boat, and the extra men took their oars. The barge was nearly alongside of her, and we boarded at the same time, she on the starboard quarter and we on the larboard side. The marines kept up a constant discharge of their muskets, and fired with much effect on the foremost of the enemy. We soon gained her deck, and found about twenty-five of her crew ready to oppose us abaft her mainmast. The man who appeared to be the captain waved his cutla.s.s and encouraged his men to attack us; at the same time he sprang forward, and about twelve followed him, when the conflict became general.

I was knocked down on my knees. I fired one of my pistols, which took effect in my opponent's left leg, and before he could raise his arm to cut me down with a tomahawk, the c.o.xswain of my boat, who had kept close to me, shot him in the head, and he fell partly on me. I soon recovered and regained my legs. I had received a severe contusion on the left shoulder.

The lieutenant had shot the captain, and the marines had knocked down nine men. The rest now called for quarter and threw down their arms. She proved to be the French privateer _Salamandre_, of twelve long bra.s.s six-pounders and forty-eight men. She had also on board nine English seamen, the crew of a Liverpool brig, who informed us they had been captured in the Turk's Island pa.s.sage three days before. The privateer's loss was eleven killed and seven severely wounded, ours three men killed and five wounded. On our drawing off from the sh.o.r.e, a small battery opened its fire on us and wounded the boat-keeper of the barge. We discharged the guns of the privateer at it, and as it did not annoy us a second time, we supposed our shot had rather alarmed their faculties and probably subdued their courage. By 3 A.M. we rejoined the s.h.i.+p. Our mates gave us three hearty cheers, which we returned. We soon got the wounded of our men on deck and the prisoners out. I was ordered to go as prize-master, taking fourteen men with me, and carry her to Cape St. Nicholas mole, where I arrived the same evening. I found myself stiff for some days afterwards and my shoulder painful, but in a short time I was quite myself again. After remaining idle and half-dead with _ennui_ for three weeks, the s.h.i.+p arrived, bringing in with her an American brig laden with flour. False papers were found on board her, and she was shortly afterwards condemned as a lawful prize. The captain of her, who was a regular-built Bostonian, declared we were nothing "but a parcel of British sarpents and robbers, and it was a tarnation shame that the United States suffered it. But,"

said he, "I calculate that in two years we shall have some three-deckers, and then I have a notion you will not dare to stop American vessels without being called to account for it."

The yellow fever had now taken its departure, but in consequence of the scanty supply of fresh provisions and vegetables, it was succeeded by a malignant scurvy, and one hundred and forty of the seamen were obliged to keep their beds. Their legs, hands, feet and gums became almost black, and swollen to twice their natural size. Some we sent to the hospital, which was miserably fitted up, for it was only a temporary one, and several died on being removed. As the cases were increasing, the commodore ordered us to Donna Maria Bay, near the west end of St. Domingo, where the natives were friendly disposed towards us. The day after we arrived there, having taken on board all our sick that could be removed from the hospital with safety. Immediately, on anchoring, by the advice of the surgeon, we sent a party on sh.o.r.e with spades to dig holes in the softest soil they could find for the purpose of putting the worst scurvy subjects into them. The officer on sh.o.r.e made the concerted signal that the pits were dug. Twenty men, who looked like bloated monsters, were removed on sh.o.r.e, and buried in them up to their chins. Some of the boys were sent with the sufferers to keep flies and insects from their faces. It was ridiculous enough to see twenty men's heads stuck out of the ground. The patients were kept in fresh earth for two hours, and then put into their hammocks under a large tent. On the fourth day they were so much benefited by that treatment and living on oranges, shaddocks, and other anti-s...o...b..tic fruits, that they were able to go on board again. At this place I rambled with some of my messmates through orange and lime groves of some leagues in extent, as well as through several cocoa plantations. We were at liberty to take as much fruit as we chose, and sent off several boats filled with oranges and limes, as well as a vast quant.i.ty of yams, sweet potatoes, cocoanuts and cocoas, besides fresh calelu (wild spinach), which is considered a fine anti-s...o...b..tic. We found some arrowroot, which was also of great service.

In one of our rambles we met a party on mules going to the town of Donna Maria, which was not far distant. It consisted of two young mustiphena-coloured men, an elderly mulatto woman, with an infant on her lap, and a black manservant. They saluted us in pa.s.sing, when we remarked that the men had delicate European features, and that the infant was white.

A short time afterwards we stumbled on a burying-ground, and seated on one of the graves we found the two persons we had taken for men, the eldest of whom was suckling the infant. They proved to be the wife of the Governor of Donna Maria, who was a native of France, and her sister. The old woman was the nurse, and the black man their factotum. They spoke French, which some of our party understood, and we spent a very agreeable half-hour in their company. After having given us an invitation to their house, they bade us adieu and proceeded on their journey. I afterwards found it was a common custom for the better cla.s.s of females in this island to ride and dress like men when they made any distant journey, as the greater part of the island is too mountainous to admit of travelling in carriages.

One of the lieutenants, who was fond of voyages of discovery, had permission to take one of the cutters to survey a deep inlet about three miles from where we anch.o.r.ed. He asked me if I should like to be one of the party. I thankfully said yes. "Well," said he, "to-morrow morning at daylight I intend going round the Cape Donna Maria (which has the shape of the mysterious helmet of Otranto), and exploring a river which runs into a large lagoon, and we shall be away most likely two days. I shall find prog, but don't forget your great coat and drawing apparatus."

At four o'clock the following morning we left the s.h.i.+p, and after pulling for two hours we entered the river, which was narrow and enclosed between two thickly-wooded hills. The noise of our oars startled a vast number of large and small birds, which made a horrible screaming. I fired at one of the large ones and broke its wing; it fell ahead of the boat, and we picked it up. It was twice the size of a gull, a dark brown colour on the back, a dirty white underneath, long, reddish legs, and rather a long, pointed bill; it was shaped like a heron. We had been rowing about an hour when we entered the lagoon, which was about a mile long and three-quarters of a mile wide. The country to some extent was low, and covered with mangrove trees, whose branches take root when they touch the ground, and one tree forms a number of irregular arches. Those nearest the water are covered with a profusion of small oysters, which are taken by the natives and pickled with spice and vinegar, and sold in small jars. They are considered good eating. We observed several large ants' nests formed on the branches of these trees; they were about the size of a bushel measure.

The insect is half an inch in length; its bite is severe, but not very venomous. We could only make good our landing at one spot, covered with long, coa.r.s.e gra.s.s, which the natives twist into ropes for the rigging of their canoes, and the finest of it they clean, stain with different colours, and fabricate into hammocks, which are made like a net with large meshes.

I had strolled from the boat with one of the men, when he called out, "There goes a large water-snake! Take care, sir!" It came close to me, when I made a stroke at it with my hanger. I struck it on the body, but not sufficiently, for before I had time to give it another blow, it had wound into a kind of jungle, and I lost sight of it. It was about five feet long, speckled yellow and black; its tongue, which it kept in continual motion, was forked; its eyes were small, and not projecting.

Finding myself in company with gentry of this description, I retraced my steps to the boat, where I found the whole party with their hands and mouths in full activity. I soon was as well employed as themselves. The lieutenant told me whilst we were at dinner that one of the men had found some alligators' eggs; two of them were broken and the young ones alive.

They were about half-a-foot long, of a dirty brown. The eggs were oblong, and larger than a swan's, of a brownish-white colour.

The evening was now drawing on, when we pulled the boat to the middle of the lagoon and let go the grapnel for the night. One of the boat's crew, who sung in the style of Incledon, entertained us with several sea songs until we fell asleep, which was not, however, very refres.h.i.+ng, in consequence of the mult.i.tudes of mosquitoes. I positively believe some of us lost two ounces of our best blood. About three o'clock in the morning, the man who had the watch pulled me by the arm and pointed to something dark floating near the boat. I awoke the lieutenant, who, after yawning and rubbing his eyes, for he had taken an extra strong north-wester the evening before to make himself sleep sound, took up his fowling-piece; but he might as well have fired at the best bower anchor-the swan-shot with which it was loaded glanced from the object at an angle of twenty-five degrees. We weighed the grapnel, and were soon in pursuit, when we saw two other black-looking objects. We steadily gave chase to the first, the lieutenant, myself and the c.o.xswain firing at and frequently striking it, but without any visible effect. At length it landed, when we found it was an alligator about fifteen feet long. It soon ploughed up the mud in which it buried itself; our musket-b.a.l.l.s were unavailing. The other two had also landed. On turning the boat round, we saw another, and as he was with his head towards us, we had a better chance. We stretched out, and when within a few yards of him, let fly our muskets at his head. One of the b.a.l.l.s struck him in the left eye, which stunned him, and he lay insensible on the water until we reached him. We threw a rope round him and towed him astern, after having given him another ball in the throat, which despatched him. He was a young one, nine feet four inches long. After rowing round the lake in search of fresh adventures, and finding none, we amused ourselves by cutting off several branches of the mangrove trees strung with oysters, and being tired of rowing where there was so little novelty, we turned the boat's nose towards the river, on reaching which we again startled numerous flocks of screaming birds, five of which we shot; but as they were only noddies and b.o.o.bies, we did not take the trouble to pick them up. At 4 P.M. we joined the s.h.i.+p, with our prizes, the alligators, their eggs, the heron, and the oysters. The doctor, who was something of a naturalist, asked for the alligator we had shot, one of the young ones, and the bird, and shortly afterwards he had them stuffed. We had now but five slight scurvy cases, and had only buried three seamen and one marine, who died two days after our anchoring. The boats were employed nearly two days in bringing up oranges, limes and yams, besides other fruit.

CHAPTER VII.

CRUISING OFF PORTO RICO.

A ball on board-Fis.h.i.+ng with a seine-Ordered to cruise off Porto Rico-News of the battle of Camperdown-The boasts of Napoleon-Views on matrimony-A sailor's courts.h.i.+p-Futile boat attack on a Spanish war vessel at St. Domingo-Author loses hearing of his left ear from effect of a wound.

The officers gave a dance to the inhabitants of the town of Donna Maria, which was attended by the Governor, who was a well-bred, gentlemanly old Frenchman, his wife and sister-in-law (whom I had seen dressed as men when we first arrived). The quarter-deck was filled with mustiphenas, mustees, mulattos, Sambos, and delicate, flat-nosed, large-mouthed and thick-lipped black ladies. Had Vestris been present, she might have taken some new hints in dancing. The waltzing was kept up with so much spirit that four couples were hurled to the deck one over the other, and it was truly laughable to see the melange of blacks and whites struggling to be the first on their legs. At one o'clock in the morning they took their departure, highly pleased with their entertainment.

The following day I was sent with another mids.h.i.+pman with two boats to haul the seine in a bay about a mile to the westward. On the first haul we caught about four bucketsful of rays, parrot-fish, snappers, groupers, red and white mullet, John-dories, some crabs and two electric eels. One of the boat's crew hooked one of the latter by the gills with the boat-hook, when his arm was immediately paralysed, and he let it fall, calling out that someone had struck him. The man near him laid hold of the fish again as it was making for the sh.o.r.e, and the shock he received threw him on his knees. I ran up to him, for he appeared in great pain. However, he soon recovered, and before the ill-fated eel could reach its element, he caught up a large stone and made it dearly atone for the pain it had inflicted.

We made another haul, but were not so successful, as we only caught some ray, crabs, and an alligator three feet long, which had torn the net. We stunned him by a blow with one of the boat's stretchers, threw him into the boat, and after taking in the net, repaired to the s.h.i.+p.

In one of my excursions at this place I found a large manchineel tree. The fruit is nearly the size of a pippin, of a light yellow colour blushed with red; it looked very tempting. This tree expands its deadly influence and poisons the atmosphere to some distance. We in consequence gave it a wide berth. I also found a number of sponges, and some beautiful sh.e.l.ls and sea-eggs. We had been enjoying ourselves for nearly three weeks at this agreeable place, when a sloop of war arrived with orders from the commodore to join him off the east end of Porto Rico, as he had information that a French squadron had been seen by an American schooner off the Caicos Islands steering for St. Domingo, which report in the sequel proved a tarnation Yankee lie. When near the Platform we experienced a heavy squall, which carried away the foretop-mast and jib-boom, and, most singular to relate, although some miles from the sh.o.r.e after the squall had pa.s.sed, we found some scores of very small crabs on the decks. I leave this phenomenon to longer heads than mine-although mine is not the shortest-to explain. We had seen two waterspouts in the morning between us and the land. It might possibly have happened that the suction which forms them drew up these unfortunate crabs and crabesses, and discharged them with unrelenting fury, through the medium of a dark, lowering cloud upon our decks. They being too small to eat, were given to the Muscovy ducks, who found them a great treat, and soon made mincemeat of them. We soon got up another top-mast and jib-boom out, and the following morning signalled the s.h.i.+ps lying in the mole.

Five days after we joined the squadron near the Mona pa.s.sage, when the commodore acquainted the captain that the intelligence he had received respecting the French squadron was all an American humbug. The next morning we spoke three s.h.i.+ps bound to Jamaica, from whom we took seven good seamen, and procured a newspaper, which informed us of the gallant action off Camperdown, and that Bonaparte had frightened men, women and children by his threatening to invade England, take up his residence in Portland Place, turn the royal palaces into stables, make a riding-school of St. Paul's and a dancing academy of Westminster Abbey! The c.o.c.kpitonians said he might whisper that to the marines, for the sailors would not believe him. Here, reader, I beg you will pause and reflect that you must die; and may your departure be like that of our worthy captain of marines, who died as he lived, in charity with all his frail fellow men.

His loss was much regretted by nearly all on board. His messmates declared they could have spared another man, looking hard at the purser whilst they uttered it; but "Nip-cheese" would not take the hint, and lived to return to England, where he took unto himself a better half, and I hope he is happy, for who is not so when they take a fair lady for better-I dislike adding anything further, so, reader, finish it yourself. I hope to get spliced myself one of these fine days, and I sincerely trust it will be a long splice. But we must keep a good look-out that in veering the cable does not part in the hawse, for if it unfortunately does, ah, me! the separation, most likely will be a permanent one.

Whilst I am on the tender subject of connubial felicity, I will relate a short dialogue which pa.s.sed between two of my messmates. The eldest was a Benedict, the other about twenty, who wished to be initiated, as he thought he had a kind of side-wind regard for the innkeeper's sister at Port Royal. "Why," said the first, "I met my wife at a hop in the country among a parcel of gra.s.s-combers. I asked her to dance, which she at first refused, giving for a reason that, as I was a sailor, I could not know how to lead down the middle and cast off at top. 'If that's all,' said I, 'my dear, I know how to do that as well as anybody in the room.' I was now pushed aside by a lubberly, haymaking chap, who led her out, but who as much knew how to dance as the captain's cow. After they all sat down, I asked the catgut sc.r.a.per if he could play the fisher's hornpipe. He said yes. I told him to play away, and I would dance it. After veering and hauling on his instrument for a short time, he brought it out. I then struck out, with my hat on one side, my arms a-kimbo, and a short stick under one of them. The b.u.mpkins all stared, and Nancy began to awake and find out that a sailor knew how to cut a caper. After I had finished, I ran up to her to pick up her handkerchief, which I thought she had dropped, but found it was only the tail of her gown. She smiled and gave me her hand. I thought this a good beginning, and was determined to follow it up. I observed her plough-tail admirer did not half like seeing me on such a good footing with her. I had not forgotten his push, and if he had interfered I should have knocked him down, for I began to feel that I was already over head and heels in love. About midnight all the clodhoppers took their departure. As the dance, or merry-making as they called it, was given at her father's house, I remained as long as I could, and as the old governor was fond of sea songs and tough yarns, I served them out freely until the clock struck 2 A.M., when, after taking a good swig out of a large tankard of strong ale, which had frequently been replenished, I took Nancy's hand and kissed it, and wished her good-night. The father, who was a hearty old farmer, asked me to call in again before I sailed, for at this time I was master's mate of the _Savage_ sloop of war. She was just commissioned at Chatham, and as we did not expect to sail for three weeks, I had plenty of time to make love." "But did you think it prudent to marry, knowing that you could scarcely support yourself, much less a wife?" demanded the younger. "That's all true," replied he; "but don't put me in mind of my misfortunes. I was in love, you know, and when a man is in love, why, he's two-thirds a woman. I only thought of the present-the future I sent packing to the devil." "Well," asked the other, "how long were you backing and filling?" "About a fortnight," replied he. "Her mother said it was too short a time, and the marriage had better be put off until I returned from a cruise. 'That will never do,' replied I; 'I may be popped off the hooks. There is nothing like the present moment, is there?' said I, appealing to Nancy and her father. 'Why,' said she, 'dear mother, I think William'-for that, you know, is my Christian name-'is right; is he not, father?' 'Do as you like, girl,' said he. 'I only wish to see you happy.' It was now settled that in two days we were to be spliced. All the clodhoppers and gra.s.s-combers I had met before, who were mostly her relations, were asked to the wedding, and among the rest her clownish admirer, who, I understood, was her cousin. He was rather sulky at first, but seeing everyone around him in good humour, he came up to me and offered his hand, which I took and shook heartily. The farmhouse not being more than three miles from Chatham, we hired two coaches from that place, and with the addition of two chay-carts belonging to the farmers, we made a numerous (for there were twenty-six of us), if not a respectable, appearance. After pairing off and pairing in, we weighed and started with a pleasant breeze. The church soon hove in sight, and the bells struck up merrily. We hove to, all standing before the altar. The parson read the articles of marriage, and I was hooked. Nancy piped her eye, and I looked nohow. We made a man-of-war's cruise there and back again, and took in our moorings at the farm, where I had leave to remain four days. I had asked two of my messmates to the wedding, who were obliged to be off next morning by daylight. The same day my good old father-in-law took me aside and told me he would allow Nancy forty pounds a year as long as he lived and did well, and that she might remain with her mother, who did not like parting with her, as she was their only child, as long as I liked. I thanked the old governor most sincerely, and informed him that the Secretary of the Admiralty was a relation of my mother's, a ninety-ninth cousin far removed-but that's nothing-and that I was certain of a lieutenant's commission in two years, when my time would be served. Here I counted my chickens before they were hatched, for I have now served three years over my time, and here I am, with not much a day, except the good farmer's forty pounds, to keep myself, my wife and a child. You see," said he, "how I am obliged to keep close hauled, and can't afford to sport my figure on sh.o.r.e as some of you do. No," added he, "don't be after splicing yourself until you have a commission, and if you do then, you will have as much business with a wife as a cow has with a side pocket, and be, as a n.o.ble First Lord of the Admiralty used civilly to tell married lieutenants, not worth a d--n."

My messmate's narrative brought me up with a round turn, and I felt my heart working like the tiller-ropes in a gale of wind. "Well," said I, after a pause, "how did you back out when you parted with your wife?" "You may well say 'back out,'" said he. "I was taken slap aback-it came over me like a clap of thunder. I was half inclined to play the shy c.o.c.k and desert, and had it not been for the advice of the good old man, I should have been mad enough to have destroyed my prospects in the Service for ever. Now," said he, "how do you feel?" "A little qualmish," said I, "and I'll take a good stiff gla.s.s of grog to wash it down. But you have not finished. How did she behave when you were ordered to join your s.h.i.+p?"

"n.o.bly," said he; "just as I thought she would. After a good fit of crying, she threw herself on her mother's shoulder, and after fondly embracing, me, 'Go,' said she. 'William, may that G.o.d who has a particular providence over our sailors always be with you! If your duty will not prevent you, come again to-morrow, and get leave to remain until the s.h.i.+p sails.'

"I joined the sloop, and the first lieutenant and my messmates told me I looked more like a person who had been doing something he was ashamed of than a happy Benedict.

"When I got below, my mates informed me the sloop was to fit foreign and going to the West Indies. My mind was like a coal-barge in a waterspout when I heard this, and I was determined to cut and run; but when I reflected next morning on the probability of my gaining my commission shortly after our arrival, as I should go out on Admiralty promotion, I clapped a stopper on my determination, and held on. We were to sail in two days, and I contrived to get leave to go every evening to the farm, and return by 8 o'clock next morning. I told my wife our destination, and the probability of my promotion. 'Never mind me, William,' said she, with her sweet voice; 'go where duty calls you. When in that path you cannot be wrong. The hope of your promotion cheers me. Let us do all we can to merit the blessings of a gracious Creator, and the good-fellows.h.i.+p of our fellow-creatures, and we shall not be very unhappy, although far distant from each other.' The last morning I spent with my wife was a mixture of cheerfulness and grief. At last I tore myself away. I have now given you the whole history, from the main-royal truck down to the kelson."

"Come," said I, "let's have another gla.s.s of grog, and I'll drink your wife's good health and speedy promotion to yourself." "That's a good fellow," said he, giving me his hand, and brus.h.i.+ng away a tear. "Should you ever be spliced, which I hope for your own sake will not be for some years, may you anchor alongside just such another saucy frigate as mine."

I am truly happy to inform my reader that my good-hearted messmate was shortly afterwards promoted into a frigate going to England.

After cruising with the squadron for some days, we had permission to go in search of adventures, and next morning, as we were running down along the coast of Porto Rico, we discovered five sail of vessels in a small bay.