Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru - LightNovelsOnl.com
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【Fake boyfriend】 にせ かれし、ふぇいく
1.A boyfriend used to deceive others, a fake lover.
2.A human puppet for the sole sake of performing monyomonyo on.
(Source: SBCreative magazine “Dictionary of the Art of Bringing out Yourself")
The more tricks we play, the more petty things will foil our plans.
—Eita, Regret of the Soul
Chapter 0: Relations.h.i.+p as fake lovers exposed is mayhemA memory that I don’t want to recall.
It was a year before this one, during the spring of my third year of middle school.
“You have been deceiving me from the start, haven’t you?”
“There was that incident, and now there's this one. Everything is just a lie!”
The relations.h.i.+p between my parents who had a tensed bond since the year-end was worsening. Although there was an unspoken rule that they would control themselves when I was awake, it seemed like the arguments quickly picked up through the night.
In the beginning I was anxious, but I got numb of it after a while. I always shut myself in my room, listening to music over my headphones to drown out their voices.
However, during those lapses when one song stops, it was still possible to hear Dad’s excuses and Mom’s shouts. Their roles changed each day, and today it looked like it Mom was on the offense. She was screaming something about Dad’s dishonesty and cheating.
It really was disheartening. My heart was already numb.
Dad’s lies made Mom really angry, but to me, she wasn't very different. She said things like, “Mom and Dad will always be lovey-dovey! Ei-kun is the product of our love!”, and so on when I was small. When I look at it now, wasn’t that a lie too?
If it's going to get exposed immediately, then don’t bother lying.
If you're going to start lying, at least go through with it till the very end.
And if you ever get exposed, just earnestly say, “I'm sorry”.
From this ugly argument between the two, I should have learned this long ago.
I should’ve understood all this.
—Easier said than done.
At the start of the second semester of my first year of high school, I faced a serious situation.
♦
After school, the corridor outside the auditorium had turned into mayhem.
“A fake boyfriend, what does it mean?”
Hime, still sitting on the floor, stared at us. Masuzu and I look back at her, unable to say anything.
This lie that had been kept up for quite a while, although not perfectly, managed to deceive Chiwa, Fuyuumi, and the rest of the student body into thinking that we are lovers. Unexpectedly, it was now exposed simply because Hime 'accidentally overheard' it.
“Hey, president, what does it mean?”
Hime asked with a quivering voice, and Masuzu stared at her.
“So you heard us, Akis.h.i.+no-san.”
“Why? Is what Eita-kun’s aunt said true?”
“Of course not, we really are true lovers.”
I look at Masuzu instinctively.
Looks like she simply planned to cover this up again.
“Then what was this ‘fake boyfriend’ thing you were talking about?”
“Hmm, first—let’s start from the time when I made contact with the hyperdimensional thought ent.i.ty.” Masuzu said with a serious expression.
Hyperdimensional thought ent.i.ty.
……which one is it…….
“This happened a few days after I started my relations.h.i.+p with Eita-kun. I felt the presence of a powerful ‘Dragon Aura’, and encountered an interface of the hyperdimensional thought ent.i.ty who called himself ‘Pillar Man’[1]. He came to warn me, ‘Kidou Eita is Burning Fighting Fighter, if you have a relations.h.i.+p with him, you will attract the enmity of the Wyverns and get into trouble’. But even then I could not give up on Eita-kun, and thus the man told me this, "If that’s the case, you only need to chant 'fake boyfriend' when Hermit Purple[2] of the Wyverns uses illusionary power on you". And then—just a moment ago, we were under his illusionary power, you should understand this right?”
Ah, I remember.
I remembered this was Hime's setting in the current world, kind of like 'Gaia' theory.
Although I almost forgot about this setting, Masuzu still remembered it quite clearly. She even managed to slip in some JoJo references.
Looks like Masuzu planned to use Hime’s chuunibyou to her advantage and cover this incident up. It was a beautiful plan……no, a despicable plan. You could say she had gotten a hold of Hime’s weakness.
But—
“Stop it with that nonsense!”
Hime’s shout took Masuzu aback, and she could only close her mouth.
Even I was shocked and almost shouted in surprise.
For Hime, it was a pretty rare occasion to see her shouting, and more importantly—————— This was also the first time.
Even though indirectly, this was the first time Hime had called her own imagination “nonsense”.
“……nonsense?”
Masuzu’s taken aback expression disappeared after an instant, and she smiled.
A smile which looked like a challenge, but also like an empty threat.
“Nonsense? What do you mean? Isn’t this what Akis.h.i.+no-san always says? You are the Burning Prin Princess, and the girlfriend of Burning Fighting Fighter Kidou-kun during his past life, right? Isn’t this the ‘truth’ you said over and over, right?”
Hime stared at Masuzu fiercely.
Her eyes showed fear……and, a very obvious 'anger'.
Masuzu stared at her eyes calmly and said, “Then…… it's also true that I’m Eita-kun’s ‘girlfriend’. Let’s not talk about Harusaki-san and Fuyuumi-san, but you, the ‘ex-girlfriend’, should understand, right?”
It would appear that Masuzu was offering a deal to Hime.
—I always pretended not to see through your lies.
—So, will you pretend not to see through mine as well?
This was not unreasonable. After all, at least Masuzu never looked down on Hime’s chuunibyou behavior by questioning “Isn’t this just your imagination?”
But, was it really okay to compare Hime’s chuunibyou and our fake relations.h.i.+p like they were the same thing?
I didn't think so, and Hime probably felt similarly.
“……I never thought President was like this……”
Hime muttered while looking at Masuzu with red eyes.
“No, I’ve always been, from head to toe, this kind of woman.”
Masuzu took her phone out of her pocket.
She showed Hime her “乙” phonestrap to Hime, who was still sitting on the floor.
“It's as you said, Akis.h.i.+no-san. We are all partners. We are all comrades who like Eita-kun. We're all friends. Isn't that right?”
I pondered about Masuzu’s words.
All the girls who liked me were good friends? What was that?
Had Hime said this kind of thing before? Was it when I wasn't there?
Hime stared at the “乙” phonestrap, biting her lips in silence. It seemed like there was a storm inside her heart. Finally, her facial expression disappeared.
The heat went down—this perhaps is the way to describe it. Even though she went back to her usual expressionless face, her eyes were still red.
“……mission acknowledged, returning to everyday mode.”
“Heh?” I exclaimed.
“That's exactly it, Himeka Sei Heavensrain.”
Masuzu was helping Hime with her words…... though her expression looked to me as if she was enduring pain.
……what is this.
What were they doing? This tense atmosphere.
I think them raging was better than this. Hime questioning, Masuzu retorting, and other students and teachers running and turning this into a battlefield would have been better.
But, the reality was:
“Here, grab this.”
Masuzu extended her hand towards Hime who wanted to stand up.
“Thank you, President.”
Hime said unnaturally.
“Let’s go back to the club room. Harusaki-san and Fuyuumi-san must be worried.”
“Please hold on for a while, I’ve something to do.”
“Something?”
Hime walked in the opposite direction from the club room. There was a toilet over there, so she had probably intended to use the toilet when she walked out of the club room and unintentionally overheard us.
After Masuzu confirmed that Hime disappeared at the corner———— She suddenly threw herself onto me in a hug.
“NUWAAAAN WHAT SHOULD WE DOOOOOOOOOOO!”
She rested her head on my chest with teary eyes. This was her "completely devastated" mode. Furthermore, the school’s most beautiful girl should not say something like “Nuwaaaaan”.
“What should we do, what should we do Eita? AAAAAAHHH”
“Hey, calm down.”
“It’s outttttn! It's finally outtttttn! Aaaa, Akis.h.i.+no-san, who will she tell? Maybe she'll talk it over with her master Fuyuumi-san? Her relations.h.i.+p with Mana has recently been quite good right? Will she tell Harusaki-san too? Nooo, no, no, no, no, no, if Harusaki Chiwa learns this, then everything will be over!”[3]
“Ca • lm • do • wn!”
I gripped Masuzu’s shoulder and glared at her face like we were b.u.t.ting foreheads.
“You saw how Hime acted right? It doesn't look like she'll tell anybody soon, right? Hime's not someone who would just give other people’s secrets away".
“……really?”
Masuzu tilted her head slightly while sulking a little. I couldn't let myself be fooled by this cute move.
“Speaking of which, what's with your way of covering this up? Wasn’t it a bit too much?”
“Hmph! And what's with that?
Masuzu covered her face slightly with her left hand, raised her right shoulder, and spoke with a determined pose.
“I—am someone who would do anything to be your girlfriend!”
“……uoo”
Although I accidentally exposed a pleased look and felt a little embarra.s.sed about it, I wasn't happy at all……
“I do understand myself. That I am a detestable woman.”
Masuzu’s voice suddenly dropped, and she wiped her tears with her fingertips.
“Using Akis.h.i.+no-san’s imagination to cover my lies honestly is the worst. I know that myself too. But I don’t want it to be like this! I don’t want to ruin my 'relations.h.i.+p'Fake with you because of something like this!”
“I told you to calm down……”
You get fl.u.s.tered so easily because of the guilt you feel towards Hime. Pretending to be cold, making such lies without hesitation, and hurting yourself in the process, it makes people speechless.
“Anyways, you should return to the clubroom first.”
I patted Masuzu on the back and tried my best to speak with a calm tone.
“We can't stay here anymore. Who knows when the cultural society members will show up. If we're seen like this, then it really will be over for us.”
Masuzu looked like she was a child who received orders to stay at home and guard it.
“How about you, Eita-kun? Where will you go?”
“Toilet.”
“Going with Akis.h.i.+no-san? How shameless!”
“It’s the men’s toilet!”
I had originally wanted to go to the toilet, but Masuzu had chased after me, so this is not a lie.
Masuzu left the corridor while glancing back a lot. After she disappeared from sight, I went to the men’s toilet. After I quickly finished my business, I immediately returned to the clubroom—
—someone had not yet returned.
I waited outside the ladies’ toilet while looking out for other students nervously, but I had no choice but to wait.
Fortunately, I only waited a few minutes for her. That’s great, looks like I didn’t miss her, and I quickly scanned to see for other students.
“Ei…ta……?”
A red-eyed Hime stood there dumbfounded.
“Hime, for having lied to you for so long, I’m really sorry!”
On behalf of me and my 'girlfriend' who couldn’t be honest, I bowed deeply in apology.
Hime rubbed her eyes nervously.
“Why is Eita apologizing?”
“Masuzu was troubled by the constant confessions from so many guys, so she wanted to find a fake boyfriend to stop this situation. Since I’m the accomplice, I’m also to blame.”
“I don’t understand what’s Eita trying to say.”
Hime blinked a few times, then she spoke with her usual calmed look.
“Natsukawa-kaichou is Eita’s girlfriend in this world; and I’m— Eita’s girlfriend in his previous lifeEx girlfriend. Contacting Eita who has not fully recovered his past memories, completely awakening him, and battling the Wyverns is my mission.”
“Hey, Hime, listen to me, just now what Masuzu said is—“
“It's not like that!”[4]
She was so loud it startled me.
She lowered her head, her fringe covering her expression, and her small shoulders were s.h.i.+vering.
“I’m Burning Prin Princess, Himeka Sei Heavensrain. Created through the Hyperdimensional Thought Ent.i.ty, the Battle Earthnoid Bio Matrix Earthnoid Device.”
“You said Earthnoid twice.”
“Tai Earsunoid! Baio! Maturikusu! Devaisu!”[5]
This was bad, she's getting angry. Also, the “Villager A” setting was gone.
Just like I feared ruining my fake relations.h.i.+p with Masuzu, it looked like Hime was also afraid of something.
Afraid that the atmosphere of the “Jien-otsu” would be ruined? Or afraid that her chuunibyou imagination would be ruined? Or both?
“…..I understand.”
I nodded while patting her head.
“I’m sorry, Hime.”
“You have no reason to apologize.”
Hime said softly, still avoiding eye contact with me.
Although just a bit, she looked at ease when she closed her eyes. This was salvation for me.
♦
Although I went back to the clubroom with Hime, there weren’t any more club activities today.
Originally we had wanted to discuss the performance for the school festival, but president Masuzu wasn’t paying attention, ergo the discussion about it couldn’t be held. In the middle, Fuyuumi left for her hall monitor activities and Chiwa’s friend phoned her, so we ended without deciding on anything.
“There are still two months till the school festival, so we don’t need to rush. Let’s do it slowly.”
Masuzu said this after the school bell rang—but could we attend the school festival in this condition?
On the surface, Jien-otsu was the same as it was during the first semester and the summer holidays, but the amount of landmines had increased. Hime discovering our lie was the largest one, and when that explodes, it'll start a chain reaction with the remaining hidden mines. That will completely burn down my high school life.
I had no choice but to be more wary than usual and continue my relations.h.i.+p with Masuzu carefully. As I hated love from the bottom of my heart, I had to continue to fake my relations.h.i.+p with this similarly anti-love woman.
But—I also found myself thinking, "would Hime expose this to everybody and trigger all the landmines altogether?" Since I didn’t have the courage to expose myself, if I could get Hime to do this, it would be a load off my chest.
This way, I wouldn't need to lie to anyone anymore.
To Kaoru, Fuyuumi, or Saeko-san.
And also—to Chiwa.
“What's wrong, Ei-kun? Is something on my face?
Chiwa, who was locking the windows, t.i.tled her head and smiled.
“……oh, the chips you just ate stuck to your face.”
“Fue? No!”
As I watched Chiwa wipe her mouth embarra.s.singly, I realized I was thinking about something despicable.
I found myself tired of lying.
Harusaki Chiwa - LV. 50
Special Skill: Go Wild
Potential: L9
Fighting Mentality: Charge
Abilities:
Shoot 170 - Skill Appraisal 150 - Evasion 175
Wrestle 200 - Defense 170 - Accuracy 170
Trump Card BONUS: When unit 「Kidou Eita」 is on an adjacent s.p.a.ce, deal 1.5X damage to enemies.
Spirit Commands:
True Nature (10) - Trust (20) - Boldness (50)
Unyielding (15) - Hot-blooded (35) - Awakening (60)
Translator notes and references Jump up↑ 柱の男 or Pillar Men aka "Man in the column" is a race of immortal beings which play an antagonistic role in the second part of Jojo Jump up↑ Old Joseph Joestar’s stand in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, it can read minds and use clairvoyance Jump up↑ She switches to a childlike tone here. If you are wondering, Chiwa, Hime, Ai & Masuzu all have "childlike" tones and they are all different from each other Jump up↑ She denies it with a childlike tone Jump up↑ She switches the tone in this sentence. Tai = battle