F Volume 2 Chapter 2

WARNING

Trigger warning: Gore. This chapter gets disgusting in vivid detail.
Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide.
Please read at your own discretion.

By the time I returned to the entrance where Eru was waiting, carrying the loot we had found in the hidden room in my arms, the faint darkness had already crept into the village from somewhere far away.

Eru snorted, as if to express how lonely he had been, and waved his tail widely as he restlessly snuggled up to me.

"I'm sorry we took so long."

I gently pat at Eru's throat as he pressed his face against my chest.

"Louie, what are we doing ne——"

I was startled by the look on Louie's face when I tried to ask him a question.

He was staring at the darkening grey world with a harsh look on his face.

"Let's hurry."

"O, okay."

I nodded in a hurry, beaten back by the strong tone of his voice that refused to allow for any refutation.

He apparently saw how lacking I was in dexterity while I fumbled around trying to put together the food, water, and change of clothes we had obtained on Eru's back. Louie reached out, swiftly fastened everything down, and picked me up without giving me the time to say anything about it.

"Louie!"

Even when I cried out it surprise, Louie, who seemed to be preoccupied with something else, was indifferent to my mute amazement as he silently placed me on Eru's back along with the luggage.

"We'll leave the village from over here."

The path that Louie was pointing to was in the complete opposite direction to the direction we had came in. He was probably pointing to the south.

I urged Eru along even as I was bewildered and we pressed forward in something of a jog.

Louie, who was guiding Eru along, was fully tense and was looking around at our surroundings with extreme caution.

I was overcome with a strange sense of anxiety that I couldn't quite put into words at the stiff atmosphere that Louie had suddenly donned. I grabbed Eru's fur with both hands and looked to the buildings on either side of me that were beginning to melt into the faint darkness.

"Hey Louie, we're hurrying because it's almost nighttime, right?"

I didn't receive an answer. I knew that I couldn't be too far off the mark because of the way Louie refused to allow his caution to loosen even in the slightest. I ran my sight through our surroundings one more time.

It was then.

"Oh!"

I let out a loud shout.

Eru and Louie quickly turned to me at the same time.

"Just now……"

Something had moved within the shadows of the buildings. I don't think my eyes were playing tricks on me. I had decently good vision.

"You mustn't; let us make haste."

Louie, you're being all formal again……but the mood wasn't light enough that I could warn him about it.

He had definitely noticed the thing that I had seen too, but he was trying to pretend that he hadn't. And, he was implicitly telling me to do the same.

There was no way that he would have simply ignored it like this if it was a dangerous monster or beast. We would only be in more troubled if it followed us, if that was the case.

"Wait a sec, Eru."

I wanted to know what it was before we ran away. This was why I had Eru stop.

"We mustn't stop. It's imperative that we leave the village first."

Louie was acting obviously strange. He was so desperate not to let me see whatever it was that he had lost his composure. It was completely different from how he honed his senses as far as they would go when a monster appeared.

"The strange thing I saw……by any chance, is it…"

——A Reim?

I was sure it was. I was convinced and was enveloped by a sense of elation. I grew confident in my instincts, and I started to think that it was the most important and correct a.s.sessment possible at the time.

"I came here to turn Reims back 'human'."

I had cut away my feelings of wanting to return home to my family. I had put a lid on the how helpless traveling in an unfamiliar world made me feel.

And that's why I can't just run away!

"I'm gonna go check."

"What? Hibiki wait!"

I ignored the sound of Louie's voice and pulled out Olin's sword, which was fastened together with the luggage, in a hurry.

I sprang off of Eru's back with sword in hand.

"It's a Reim, isn't it?"

"——Hibiki!"

Louie raised his voice in frustration.

"If that's a Reim, a revenant, there, then I have to face it!"

Louie blocked my way with a scary look on his face as I began to grow more eager.

"No, it's too much for you."

I grew sullen at his declaration.

"……How can you be so pessimistic when I haven't even tried anything yet?"

Louie flinched ever so slightly when I subconsciously ended up glaring at him.

I……was still unable to walk away from the frustration I felt at being so useless at everything.

Louie wasn't even including me in the headcount and was placing his hopes only on the princes who could wield divine swords.

I never learned my lesson no matter how many times I failed. There was undoubtedly something lonely about never being relied upon for anything.

But before that, I always wanted to somehow find a way to decrease Louie's burdens, since he had endured so many painful days up until now. He was always looking at me in such a heartrending manner. He was always afraid that I would shatter at the smallest impact and treated me like I was some kind of fragile object. That was why I wanted to show him that I wasn't that weak, that I could get things done when I tried.

"Eru!"

I called out to Eru in a strong voice. At this rate, Louie would stop me without question. I wasn't strong enough to slip away from him.

……But even Eru looked hesitantly to Louie as if to ask for his opinion when I called.

I was shocked. I felt like I'd been betrayed.

——That's so mean!

"Eru!!"

I called to him again, this time with anger in my voice. Even still, Eru didn't respond right away and hesitated for a little bit. He finally moved after our eyes met, if only out of his sense of duty. For the purpose of obeying my wishes.

"No, you mustn't go!"

Eru circled around Louie, who was reaching out toward us, and let out a low growl.

"Hibiki! Please!"

"I'll be okay! I won't let my guard down!"

I readjusted my grip on the divine sword to make sure it was secure and ran toward the buildings. I was in such high spirits that it was almost exhilarating.

Louie's voice clung at my back. It bothered me, but I knew that I'd surely start to doubt myself and lose heart if I turned back now.

I resolved myself anew and ran. To the shadows of the buildings. To where something had moved.

And then, I saw something there.

"——Huh?"

It was different from the image of a revenant that I'd had in mind.

***

The image of a Reim that I'd had in my mind was one of a pale, translucent, and indistinct ghost, like the ones that show up in horror films. It was because I still remembered how Olin had once called them 'evil spirits'.

But, the thing I saw swaying up from the shadows of the buildings…

It was certainly, most certainly, a type of undead.

"——This is a Reim?"

I stood still in dumb amazement, completely defenseless.

The grotesque thing crawled up in strangely sluggish movements.

It was letting out a heartrending wail that almost sounded like it was fawning.

"It's neck……, why is it like a rokurokubi?"1

No, the skin on its neck had simply stretched out like strong rubber. Its skin would stretch like toffee every time it swung its arms or legs.

"But isn't that……human?"

I realized in astonishment. A shock ran through me as if a sharp blade had pierced through my chest.

"It really is the remains of a human being…"

It wasn't translucent or an evil spirit. It had a proper body of flesh and even had hair!

"No way……"

I broke out in gooseb.u.mps all over my body. Its appearance retained too much of its human form. It had normal skin color and the lines of its shoulders were properly round.

Except, its limbs and neck were absurdly long.

The Reim stirred as I stood before it, speechless, and picked up its head, which had been rolling on the ground, with its extended arm. It straightened out its tangled hair in an awfully conscientious manner and turned its face toward me as if it was showing me on purpose.

"A, a girl?"

She looked like she was in her late twenties. She was a delicate woman with pale yellow hair. She was naked and she seemed sad——and terribly lonely.

I subconsciously stumbled backward. The inside of my throat was painfully dry.

"……What…is this?"

It was all I could do to take a few steps back. I was unable to move any further, as if my feet had been glued to the ground.

The woman……the Reim looked up at me and wailed out a sob as if it was trying to tell me something and grabbed at its disheveled hair on the ground with unreliable fingers.

——No, this is gross.

Words of rejection sounded clearly in one corner of my paralyzed mind. An intensely unpleasant feeling pierced through my chest. Yet, I couldn't take my eyes off of it for even a moment.

Its human-like movements and figure were unbelievably repulsive to me.

If only it was more……if it looked a bit more like a monster, I…

The Reim wailed again.

It wailed, and wailed, and wailed, and its tears tumbled down along with its eyeb.a.l.l.s.

Its eyeb.a.l.l.s.

"Huh……?"

The Reim trampled on its eyeb.a.l.l.s on the ground and began to rock its body. A white line of liquid hung down from the bones peering through from its eye sockets like a strand of boiled noodles.

And then, the Reim slowly transformed into a repulsive monster.

The Reim twisted its entire body like it was writhing in agony or like it was itchy all over. Its torso rotated all the way around. Its skin ripped while making small, strangely satisfying noises as it did. Its abdomen was particularly awful. Its internal organs, covered in faintly colored blood, dropped to the ground with wet sounds as soon as the soft flesh was twisted off.

"No, no way, wait…"

I couldn't stop getting the chills. I wanted to cover my eyes, but I couldn't.

"Is, is this really a Reim? It's not an illusion!?"

All of the organs that had fallen out of its flesh were steaming slightly, as if to signify how fresh they were. Its blood vessels were pink. The reddish meat had folds.

Its glistening, obscenely-colored intestines, which looked a bit like rope, were flopping vigorously on the b.l.o.o.d.y ground like a dying fish. The resulting splashes landed on my cheek as I stood there absentmindedly.

I smelled the horrible, fishy stench of decaying flesh.

"Stop it…"

I pleaded before I knew what I was doing. But the shocks weren't over yet.

The Reim gathered up its entrails from the ground, shoved them in its mouth, and began to chew.

Its neck, stretched out like rubber, swallowed it all and swelled up like a balloon. It reminded me of a water hose with a bubble of blocked water in one spot.

The Reim single-mindedly dismantled its own body apart and devoured it.

But, no matter how much it ate, its torso was rent and twisted. The parts it ate fell out between its broken bones with a disgusting sound and its completely crushed organs fell again to the ground.

It continued its pointless mastication so endlessly that it almost p.i.s.sed me off.

Finally, the Reim impatiently tore off its head from its long neck.

It rolled up its skin with rough movements, like a child throwing a temper tantrum, and forcefully shoved its head into its torso. It was as if it was trying to amalgamate together various parts of various toys. Then, it broke off its ribs and began to lick them.

——Its humanity is breaking apart.

I watched it unfold right before my very eyes.

"This……this is…"

The Reim began to move more violently. It shook its body, ripped out its hair with both hands, scalp and all, and even tore out its tongue. Its humanity. It was breaking apart.

Chills ran up from my feet. What is this. What am I looking at?

"Hibiki!"

Louie's voice sounded far away when he called me. My world was shaking audibly.

No, it was my body that was shaking. That, and my line of sight.

I felt like my sanity would break down along with the Reim's body.

"……, Louie, Eru…"

My eyes were glued on the Reim. My feet wouldn't move no matter how much I tried to move them.

I grew extremely nauseous and dizzy. Its humanity was so, so broken down.

"Don't look."

Louie was standing next to me all of a sudden. A reality so terrible it felt more like a picture of h.e.l.l peered back at me as he pulled me back by the shoulder, covering me.

What had Olin and Silvai said when they warned me?

They had asked me if I could really kill a Reim. They had warned me about how difficult it would be. They'd been anguished about that, hadn't they?

Louie, too. He had been so concerned about them, hadn't he?

He'd said that the land was teeming with things so hideous that you couldn't help but look away from them.

——I'm so stupid.

"You don't have to think about anything for now. Forget about this."

"……Forget this?"

Forget…this?

How am I supposed to erase this dreadful "human" figure from my mind?

If there existed a spell to make that happen, I wanted it to be cast on me right now.

"It's still safe. ——The Reim hasn't shed its skin yet."

Louie's stiff voice brought my consciousness, weak and swaying on the waves of a distant sh.o.r.e, back to reality.

"It's skin……what?"

"It won't attack until it's completely shed its 'humanity'."

——Until it's shed its 'humanity'?

"Louie……what are you talking about?"

"It's all right if you forget. This isn't something that you should be seeing."

I heard Eru cry out helplessly.

"Wait, hold on a sec. I don't understand. What do you mean it's shedding?"

I pressed against my temple with my hand. I was surprised at how wet my forehead was. My hand was sweating too, not just my forehead.

"I came here to…"

"It's all right, Hibiki, so fall back."

What did I come here to do?

——I'm scared, I'm so scared. Someone please help me. I can't, I can't kill something like this. I just can't, it's too gross!!

Countless screams erupted within me and reverberated throughout.

I had seen it clearly. I'd seen its human figure first.

It was human. This eerie thing was actually a human being.

Does that mean that killing a Reim……is the same thing as killing a person?

The figure of a 'human being' had been burned into my mind.

I can't do this anymore.

Now that I knew of this, I couldn't rid my mind of the image of a 'person' no matter how much of its original form it lost and no matter now how disgusting its appearance became.

It was heavy. The sword in my hand felt so heavy that I couldn't help it.

I hate this——.

"Hibiki!"

My body lurched. Louie immediately supported me up. I didn't have the leisure to thank him. A childhood memory was reflecting before my eyes, overlapping with the figure of the Reim before me.

I was stepping of a swarm of ants crawling around the asphalt on a hot summer day. The sweat trailing down the back of my neck, the sunlight filtering through the leaves, the rising heat haze, the smell of dust, my dark shadow falling over the asphalt, the bodies of the ants being dismembered by the bottom of my dirty shoes.

This was my secret. Even now, I don't know why I did it.

In any event, something in my mind had changed ever since that time.

"Now, step back. Turn around."

Louie's low voice broke the heavy silence that made it hard to even breathe. He pushed my body backward as I continued to s.p.a.ce out in gentle movements, as if he was consoling me, and slipped his large sword out it its sheathe.

I aimlessly moved my gaze from Louie to the Reim.

The Reim……had moved on to the next stage of its transfiguration.

It fell on all fours and convulsed violently on its partially destroyed limbs. Its twisted spine bulged up and splintered. Its back opened up inside-out like a flower. l.u.s.trous lumps of reddish meat stuck to its bones, making it look like it had sprouted some kind of carnivorous flower out of its back.

The Reim growled like a beast and looked to me for a moment.

I paled because I instinctively knew that it was looking at me even though it didn't have any eyeb.a.l.l.s.

"Lou……"

Right after I subconsciously grabbed hold of Louie's robes.

The skin on the Reim's face slipped clean off like the skin of a grape.

"Wha——"

Its skull was laid bare for all to see. Its whiteness made it stand out strangely in the faint darkness.

The fibers of its skin stretched out in long strings like liquid.

The words that Louie had said flashed before my mind. The Reim was shedding its 'humanity'.

I bit down hard at my lips as I was a.s.saulted by a violent sense of nausea. The tips of my fingers and toes grew as cold as if I'd touched ice.

I wanted to pa.s.s out if I could. Just as I was irresponsibly wis.h.i.+ng for this, Louie silently took a step closer to the Reim.

"Louie……!"

"I have to kill it soon."

Something began to rise up out of the Reim's back, which had opened up like a flower.

"……Wha, what is that?"

No, perhaps it was better to say that its heart had mixed together with blood and flesh and started to swell than to say that something was rising up out of it?

Whatever it was, is rapidly grew larger and transformed. It was like a different creature was growing out of the Reim's back. It was a monster in the shape of a lump of flesh. It continued to grow as if to declare that it was the real Reim.

"The Reim——it's being born."

I cowered as Louie whispered something bone-chilling to himself.

A part of the flesh monster……the "Reim's" internal organs stuck to its dented cranium. Its pink veins took the shape of crude lips.

The "Reim" crushed its seedbed-like flesh and repeatedly made it shrink and expand over and over again. Its flesh changed in color as it did.

Its body changed shape to something similar to a balloon and its flesh became translucent.

It was covered in skin that was partially translucent, like scales. Chunks of b.l.o.o.d.y meat and shards of bone circulated inside of it.

Something that looked like a head stuck out diagonally from its slumping torso.

I almost let out a hollow laugh. ……For a moment, I'd had the stupid thought that its body looked like a mix-and-match puzzle. The mix-and-match body was defective and dribbled milky-white liquid all over the place. The white stuff looked like melted fat.

Louie stood directly before the Reim and raised up his sword.

Then, he suddenly stopped it midair.

"——Hibiki, can I……ask you to step away a little further?"

His low voice was colored by conflict. After a brief moment of absentmindedness, I suddenly understood why.

Olin and Silvai had said that it wasn't possible to revive Reims with ordinary sword skills or spells, or something to that effect. But, they had also said that it was just barely possible to annihilate them.

In other words, didn't that mean that it was possible to destroy a Reim, soul and all, if it was right before they transformed completely?

If my line of thinking was correct, then this was cruel not only to the Reim but also to the person holding the sword that would kill it.

Not only did you have to see the Reim while it still looked humane, but the Reim was also completely helpless because it was in the middle of its transformation.

If you regained even a little of your composure, you'd feel not only disgust, but you'd also feel extreme guilt and pity.

"I'll finish this quickly. I just don't want you to get caught up in it."

I stared fixatedly at Louie's back after he spoke. His tone was kind. But he never once moved to turn around.

He was a knight. It was entirely possible that he'd had to kill a criminal or an enemy soldier before in his past.

But no matter whose life it was, taking someone's life was an extremely heavy thing that required the upmost resolution to do. To say nothing of the fact that in this case, it was the life of a normal villager who'd done nothing wrong——.

This is why Louie was so adamant about not going to the village unprepared.

It was certainly more convenient to remain in hiding in the forest, but now I was sure that there was an emotional reason why he hadn't wanted to go to the village as well.

I then made yet another realization. Louie was more afraid of this situation than anything else, wasn't he?

He had asked if he could wield the divine sword and had wanted to revive the princes as soon as possible.

He wasn't making light of me, nor was he being stubborn. He had simply been doing his upmost to protect me from his cruel reality.

"And yet, I…"

My world spun. I was about to make him kill the Reim.

"……I wanted to become a knight like Louie, because I thought that we could help each other out if I did…"

"Please step back, Hibiki."

He cut through my incoherent rambling with a strong and resolute tone.

If Louie wielded his sword in my stead, the person before us would never be able to revive again.

They would be annihilated, soul and all, as a monster known as a Reim forever.

"Wait, please…"

Louie was about to atone for my weakness once again.

This was just like what had happened with the insects from the other day. I was the one who'd been reckless. And yet, Louie didn't blame me in the slightest and tried to take responsibility for my actions.

But it was worse this time. It wasn't any different from stomping out someone else's life.

Just how much did you resolve yourself when you picked up your sword?

"——Louie."

I instantly reached for Louie's arm before he could swing down his sword.

Louie jerked a little and finally looked my way. His eyes only held the kindest consideration, as I'd expected. The moment I saw them, an impulse that refused to be put into words rose up to my throat.

——Move, and don't you dare run away!

My inner voice sounded like it was coming from far away as I scolded myself. I smiled —the biggest bluff I could manage.

"No, you can't kill them, Louie."

"We have to fight back soon, before the Reim becomes complete."

"They won't turn back 'human' unless it's by my sword."

Louie bit down on his lip, perhaps because he was growing impatient at how unreasonable I was being, and tried to push me back.

I stopped him by shaking my head. I stared back into his moon-colored eyes to pretend that I wasn't afraid.

"It's okay, Louie. Let me do this."

Liar. Liar! In truth, I really didn't want to do something this terrifying. I wanted him to do this for me so much that it hurt.

"I was prepared for this when I came here."

There was nothing "okay" about this at all. I wasn't prepared in the slightest. I felt like my heart would shatter even now, like I'd overflow with screams.

Even still, my voice sounded no different from usual as it fell into the faint darkness. I was internally relieved by this fact.

Louie abruptly opened his mouth, but ultimately didn't say a word.

"I was just a little surprised. But, you know, I was planning on becoming Divine Destruction Girl down the line, so……it'll be okay, Louie, just step back for a bit."

After a breath, I pulled the sword I was holding out of its sheathe.

Unlike a normal weapon, the sword that Olin had granted me was dull in color, like it was rusty, at a first glance. The back of my hand suddenly grew hot when I tightened my grip around its hilt.

I guess the place where Olin had blessed me was reacting to the sword. The sensation felt like it was coming from far away, and I felt like I hadn't fully adapted to it yet.

"Eru, look after Louie for me."

I threw a glance at Eru, who had been idling restlessly behind us. In between the lines, I wanted him to make sure that Louie wouldn't interfere.

The ever intelligent Eru understood my intentions accurately. He stuck in his large body in between us and began to push Louie back with his forehead.

I turned back to face the Reim after confirming this.

To kill it.

——What do I do?

The back of my neck slowly grew hot. My hands grew sweaty again around the hilt of my sword. I have to hurry. All I need to do is swing down my sword. That's all I need to do.

But, where was I supposed to cut? Its head? Shoulders? Limbs? I had no idea.

Olin, Uncle Miharu, I'm so scared. I think it's impossible for me to become a knight after all!

A mult.i.tude of feelings stirred up a whirlwind in my chest. Even I could tell that my arms were trembling as I held up my sword.

No, I can't do this, I wanna run away.

But if I didn't hurry, the Reim…

The Reim, which had just about finish 'molting', peeled off its 'humanity' with its snake-like tongue as if it was simply getting out of a costume and began to eat away at it audibly.

Then, it picked up its skull, which had fallen to the ground, and drank the grey matter stuck inside of it like soup after making sure to stir it up first——and then it placed the emptied skull on its head like it was some kind of hat.

It hardly retained any of its original human shape anymore.

It was a haphazard monster that simply happened to have arms and legs. Its fingers looked like an insect's legs.

——This is a Reim.

I felt like……my senses had been feeling terribly far away for a while now and I kept hearing static noise. It was like there was suddenly someone else living in my chest and the voices in my heart reverberated whenever its presence grew stronger.

Maybe it was because my consciousness refused to acknowledge the scene unfolding before me.

——I don't want to kill it……

Is this really real? I have to be the one to kill it?

My teeth wouldn't line up properly and my heart was beating so loudly that it was grating on my ears.

I'd rather die than kill it, I can't bear this anymore.

I swung down my sword before the Reim could finish shoving down the skull on its head.

This was the moment that I understood my fate so clearly that I thought my heart would shatter into pieces.

It was a cruel fate of killing that stretched out before me like an endless path of carnage.

***

I know I felt the feeling of cutting through a lump of flesh. I felt the elasticity of meat in my fingers through the hilt of my sword.

I s.h.i.+vered. That feeling told me that I was cutting into 'something alive' whether I wanted to know or not.

"It didn't cut all the way through……!"

I hadn't put enough strength into my arms because the sentiments that I'd failed to organize had gotten in the way.

After cutting through the Reim's translucent skin with a gross sound, the sword that I'd blindly swung got stuck in its shoulder.

"No……!"

The Reim cried out in pain and twisted its body in rejection. My sword shook each time it moved and pulled my body along with it. Heavily viscous bodily fluids, either a glob of blood or a chunk of flesh —I didn't know which—, spurt out from its wound and splashed on my hands, still on the hilt of my sword, and my sleeves.

I was repulsed by the feeling of the lukewarm liquid, which conveyed the Reim's body heat to me.

"I, I can't get it out!"

Stop, stop moving, I can't get my sword out!!

"Hibiki!"

I heard Louie's urgent cry from directly behind me. But I couldn't answer. I didn't have the leeway to!

Help me, I hate this!

And yet, despite my desperate thoughts, Louie did not come to cover my view.

I had asked Eru to make sure he couldn't come near.

No more, I hate this!!

I wanted to cast away my sword and cover my eyes and ears any moment now. Why did I have to do something so repulsive? Just why?

My screams were about to leak out. And yet, my hands refused to let go of the hilt of my sword as though they'd been tied on. My heart grew stormy in an instant.

I'd never imaged anything as horrible as this. I'd come here after receiving powers from G.o.ds, so somewhere in my heart I'd thought that I'd be able to accomplish my mission in a cooler, more favorable manner. That when it was my turn to s.h.i.+ne, I'd be able to use special powers like a savior from the fantasies and act in a polished manner.

But what the h.e.l.l was this!? I wasn't cool at all. In fact, I just wanted to run away so badly!

My sword was still stuck in the Reim's shoulder regardless of whether I was going to run away from reality or not.

I shuddered when I realized this. I still have to kill it!

I forcefully turned the anger, disgust, and fear that threatened to rise up out of my throat into strength. I stiffened up my wrists and pushed my body weight against the hilt of my sword.

The blade made a strange noise as it buried deeper into the Reim's shoulder.

I couldn't help but tremble at the scene before me. I was about to kill the Reim.

My consciousness grew dim. I didn't want to acknowledge reality——.

"Hibiki."

Louie's voice slipped in just before I fainted.

I blinked multiple times and swallowed the spit that had pooled in my mouth.

If I pa.s.sed out now, Louie would have to finish the Reim in my place.

"……I'm okay, just wait a second."

I hadn't come here just to be protected.

Even if it was unreasonable, even if I was scared and wanted to cry, this was the fate that I'd chosen of my own accord.

It's okay, it'll be over soon. I won't run away. I've decided to do my best here so that I can go back home to my parents one day with my head held high.

"I'll turn you back human……!"

That's right, if I killed this monster called a Reim, they'll be able to revive as a human being again. I'm going to kill them, but it's actually so I can bring them back to life. There's nothing to be afraid of, I'm just doing the right thing.

I repeated these words in my heart like I was trying to make excuses to myself and clung to them in an effort to justify my actions.

I wielded the last of my willpower and poured all of the strength in my body into my hands as I pressed against my sword.

The Reim's shoulder finally rent in two as I heard a sound similar to that of bouncing droplets of water.

A shrill death cry, horrible enough to freeze my heart solid, spread out into the dim world.

***

I staggered heavily backward from the recoil of cutting though the Reim.

I thought that I'd fall down just like that, but I crashed into something soft instead. Eru's fluffy fur tickled the back of my neck. And, a large hand helped me stay up just before I sank down to the ground where I stood.

"Louie……, Eru."

I almost cried out loud the moment that my whisper left my lips. The relief and the pain and the exhaustion all jumbled together and nearly gushed out of my mouth as one. I held it back and purposefully turned away from them.

"Oh……"

A strange scene was playing before me.

A pleasantly savory sound reached my ears, like what you'd hear when frying good food. The Reim's body shook from front to back as if it was in anguish. It reminded me of a traditional self-righting doll.

"What? It's not over yet!?"

"No, that's not it. This is…"

Louie tightened his grip on my arm.

Pieces of the Reim's flesh scattered and dispersed like sparks. It was like a completed puzzle being taken apart. Then, the scattered chunks of flesh and blood were drawn back together as if by a magnet and began to reconstruct into something else.

"Is it really…?"

Louie said blankly to himself. The lump of flesh had taken on the form of a coc.o.o.n before I'd realized it.

An anatomically accurate body began to form inside of the translucent membrane, as if by magic. White skin, proper arms and legs. The Reim's body was reconstructed as a human being's in fast-forward.

The terrifyingly fast recovery was restoring human-like order to the Reim.

——Was I successful?

Tears threatened to spill from my eyes again. I held my breath and watched over the regeneration together with Louie.

A miracle that cancelled out all the fear that had cut deeply into my heart just a little while ago was taking place.

"——They came back to life."

Louie's voice, filled with disbelief and wonder, reached my ears.

The membrane ripped apart and a vermillion fluid, which apparently served as some kind of amniotic fluid, gushed out. A woman's body fell to the ground immediately afterward.

The Reim had really turned back human.

"Ah, aah……"

Willowy sighs. A living body that swayed with each breath.

A single woman had successfully revived before our very eyes.

Hers was the first resurrection I had witnessed since I'd stepped foot in this land.

"……I……"

The woman, who was sitting on the ground covered in fluids, looked up at us in a daze.

"Where am I……?"

she whispered in a tottering voice that was so quiet it was hard to hear.

——She really turned back!!

"Thank goodness……!"

My senses, which had seemed far away until now, suddenly came back to me. My joy and relief merged into one tempestuous emotion that made me tingle all the way down to my toes.

I wanted to cheer with all my might. I felt like all of the cells in my body had suddenly begun to move in audible animation. This is so, so amazing!

I have the power to help the people of this world too.

I'll be able to keep going at this rate. It's only scary when I have to kill them, but a miracle will occur right afterward!

I let myself be blinded by these easygoing thoughts and completely forgot about something important in the process.

The woman had been resurrected not by my power, but by a miracle created by the sword that Olin had given to me. My arrogance turned into a blade of wrongdoing that immediately turned on me and mercilessly cut down my joy.

"It's okay now! We saved y——"

Eru's low, composed growl interjected me as I was growing giddy from the self-satisfaction that I was basking in.

I stopped as I was reaching out for the woman and turned around with a stupid smile on my face.

"……Huh?"

The difference between my consciousness, drowning in joy, and reality was too vast. My heart was unable to catch up to the scene before my eyes.

Just when did this——.

My surroundings were enveloped in a dark atmosphere.

It was sunset.

The darkness heralded the beginning of a fierce and gruesome reality.

"……No way."

We had become surround by so, so many Reims.

***

"Hibiki!!"

Louie, who was the first to return to his senses, picked me up as I was standing in shock. A bullet made from a lump of flesh grazed his side and burrowed into the place where I had been standing just as he did.

The ground that the bullet had struck quickly changed in color and began to decompose as if it had been laced with a deadly poison.

"——What on earth……?"

I was still out of it. My consciousness still refused to accept the situation no matter what.

Only my body continued to tremble without end.

"Get on!"

Louie roughly put me down on Eru's back. I quickly grabbed his arm when I saw him try to hold his sword at ready.

Our eyes met for a brief moment.

Eru lowered his body a little immediately afterward. He growled as if he was telling Louie to hurry up and get on too. Normally, Eru never let Louie ride him. The situation was grave enough that Eru was willing to let it slide for the time being.

Louie kicked away a Reim that had gotten too close to buy himself some time and nimbly jumped on behind me.

Eru leapt lightly and growled threateningly at the Reims that looked like they were about to attack.

I braced myself against the impact of our landing and cast my gaze to our surroundings. The world was dark. It was really so helplessly dark.

The Reims' howls overlapped and twisted together over and over again like they were cheering.

They had stout, muddily-colored torsos with small little heads placed on top of them. They were all wearing white skulls like helmets, but the shapes of their bodies were all over the place.

——It's impossible to fight through all of them.

Fear crawled up my back. I felt like my heart had suddenly squeezed itself smaller. I'd finally remembered the obvious fact that there would be as many Reims as there were people in the village.

This is why Louie was in such a hurry!

I'd hesitated so long just to kill one Reim.

"There's no way I'll be able to kill so many……"

There's no way we'll survive this unless we run!

"……Give me your hand!"

I shook away my bitter thoughts and reached out for the woman, who was still cowering on the ground, from Eru's back.

The woman surveyed our surroundings blankly before sluggishly reaching back out for me.

Her hand was pale and delicate. Hers was the kind of hand that was suited for picking pretty flowers.

The tips of our fingers touched, and I was sure that I felt her warmth. We stared at each other as if we were being drawn in.

"Oh."

The woman's blue eyes opened wide in fright. Somehow, I was able to count each of her eyelashes clearly even in the darkness.

The moment I thought that her eyes made quite the impression, the woman's body was suddenly pulled backward with great strength.

I forgot how to blink as my eyes became fixed upon the scene that unfolded before me.

The Reims that had pulled her back had begun to bite her dainty shoulders and waist.

"S, stop it!!"

I returned to my senses and leaned forward in a panic.

"I have to help her……!"

She'd be devoured by the Reims if I didn't.

"No!"

Louie held me tight from behind before I could dismount.

"Let me go! We have to take her with us!"

"You won't make it in time!!"

Louie's arm, which sealed off my ability to oppose him, was so strong that it angered me.

"How could you……"

Louie's words ran amok in my head. I won't make it, I won't make it…….

"How…"

She had been resurrected.

She had only just been resurrected moments ago!!

Eru poised himself to escape when the woman began to scream. Help me, no, please don't leave me behind.

Her pleas rent through the darkness and trailed off unnaturally like broken music.

"I want to help her, she's only turned back 'human' just now, and she's the first person I managed to resurrect……!"

"Hibiki! Stop moving around so much, please!"

A horrible and cruel scene burned itself into my eyes.

The sobbing woman's white body was covered by a swarm of Reims as she struggled for her life. Pulled to the left, pulled to the right, her body jerked around countless times in between the Reims that had jumped on her.

Her next screams were a cut more terrible than the rest. I flinched as if I'd been whipped. Multiple distorted hands grabbed at her swaying b.r.e.a.s.t.s and arms and ripped them off. And then, I heard the sound of crunching.

Steaming organs were casually removed from the woman's body, which was covered in fresh blood. A monster had bitten into her velvety, tear-stained cheeks. The screams and the sounds of eating resounded in turns. They melted away my ability to reason.

It was a banquet of madness. My entire body became paralyzed and I couldn't even breathe. It was like both my mind and body had been cast down into h.e.l.l. I don't believe this, some please make it stop make it stop make it stop, please, stop eating her already I'm begging you.

I abruptly realized that something s.h.i.+ny was dancing in the air.

It was as thin and delicate as a spider's web.

It was as strand of the woman's hair, which had been ripped out.

"A, ah, aahh."

I think I'm going crazy——.

The woman let out an animalistic shriek with the last drops of her remaining strength.

My vision went pitch black immediately afterward.

Louie had covered up my eyes with his hand. He pressed my head into his hard chest as if to cut me off from all sound.

But I could still hear the screams. They clung to my eardrums and colored every nook and cranny of my brain with fear.

The air around me suddenly moved. Eru had mowed down the Reims that approached us and had broken out into a run.

My heart was racing and my body refused to stop s.h.i.+vering.

For some reason, the image of Olin and Silvai looking sad came into my mind.

***

"Where can we go?"

I whispered in a daze.

The whole village was teeming with Reims, to the point that I wanted to ask just where on earth they'd been hiding up until now.

Countless numbers of them poured out from behind the buildings, from under the trees, from the depths of the darkness.

All I could do was quiver as I clung to Louie's chest.

The Reims that blanketed my wavering ling of sight; their somehow delicate-sounding wails. Their voices seemed to echo through the darkness.

"There's so many……"

I couldn't finish my sentence.

There were an abundant variety of Reims. There were those that had overly swollen bodies and those that were so skinny it looked like they were being tied up. They differed vastly in height, too, and the monsters were so ugly that they would make for a truly horrifying picture.

The blood and meat circulating underneath their translucent skin were gurgling. There were Reims that didn't have any arms and instead had eight legs like spiders and Reims that had two heads mashed together. There were Reims that had arms of different lengths. There were even Reims that crawled like snakes.

There were only a few that still retained the basic shape of a 'human'. I felt only disgust and fear.

"But even still, these monsters——they used to be human like me."

They were people who had fallen in love, had sometimes fought with each other, and had lived out their everyday lives.

"Do they really not remember anything about when they human at all?"

"……Hibiki, you mustn't have any expectations of them. Reims don't have 'human' hearts."

Louie declared from behind me in a hard tone. My face twisted and I hung my head down. He continued,

"we have to escape the village before anything else."

"……Okay."

I nodded, but I was soon made to realize that it was next to impossible to escape Urs.

The Reims, which had appeared together with the advent of the night, were as fast as beasts as they attacked us.

We were only weak prey to them.

Eru, who was carrying both Louie and me, desperately ran around searching for an opening in their ranks and took great toils to scatter those that drew too close.

I stiffened, unable to see any ray of hope in our situation.

——What happens if we can't escape?

There was no doubt that I'd be met with the same fate as that woman.

I experienced such fear that I broke out in gooseb.u.mps across my entire body. I would be torn to shreds by the Reims, be robbed of my sanity, and would ultimately turn into a monster myself.

My breathing grew ragged. I started sweating buckets all over. A sense of rejection so strong that I wanted to scream rose up from the depths of my stomach.

——I absolutely don't want that!

My fear of becoming another victim far surpa.s.sed my guilt for letting the woman die. This was undeniably how I truly felt. But, right now, I was so filled with the desire to somehow escape the village that I couldn't even care about biting back my cowardice.

"What can we do? Where can we go that's safe?"

I couldn't get my thoughts together. I was so scared I couldn't think!

"——Hibiki, please listen to me."

My shoulders jerked when I suddenly heard Louie's low and collected voice.

For a moment, I mistakenly thought that he'd noticed the cowardly thoughts that were hidden in the depths of my heart and paled.

I didn't answer him because I didn't have to courage to check for sure. I felt Louie stir from behind me as I single-mindedly curled up into myself.

"Lou……?"

"Don't ever get off from the sacred beast, all right?"

His voice was close enough that I could feel his lips on my ear. His soft breaths tickled my eardrums.

"Don't hesitate this time, and go."

I froze up at his words.

——He's planning on being the decoy again!

Something like a rus.h.i.+ng current resounded through my head.

I tightly grabbed the arm Louie had wrapped around my waist before he could act.

"No, I won't let you go!"

I could feel him grow troubled.

I bit down at my lip so hard I tasted blood. I quietly peered into my own heart. I want someone to save me, I don't want to die…… It was so filled with pitch black feelings colored by fear that it was leaking.

That's right, what I was afraid of wasn't that Louie would be slaughtered.

I——was afraid that I would be left alone.

I didn't stop him purely because I was worried for him, I stopped him because I didn't want to be left alone in the midst of all these monsters after he sacrificed himself to be a decoy. I learned the full extent of my irredeemable feelings and despaired.

I had trampled all over Louie's sincerity for my own self-pity.

I opened my eyes wide. I felt that, amidst all of these hideous Reims, my heart was the filthiest of them all.

My feelings were an act of treachery against Louie.

"Was I……always someone like this?"

It was like all of the cowardly feelings inside of me that I'd had no knowledge of before were being uncovered for all to see one after another ever since I'd come to this world. Like the time in the interworld forest. Or like the time with the insects just the other day.

My hand, which refused to let go of its tight grip on Louie's arm, was so wretched to me that it hurt to breathe.

"Louie."

——But even still, I don't wanna be alone. I don't want to leave Louie alone, either.

"Hibiki, I want you to let go of me."

I silently shook my head hard at Louie's bewildered voice.

I won't let go, I won't let us get separated.

If I really left Louie here to die, I'd be no better than a brute.

"It's okay, we'll escape this."

I wouldn't be able to stay calm if I didn't believe it.

Every possible path we could have taken had been sealed off by the Reims. At this rate, we'd be captured before we could leave the village no matter how agile Eru was.

Eru jumped on top of the branches of a thick tree at the end of the road as a last resort.

All of its leaves had fallen off, leaving only the bare, dry branches behind. The tree was conveniently shaped like the palm of a hand reaching up to the heavens. Also, the branches were quite low.

I'm that Eru knew that this was only a stopgap measure at best, but didn't have any other choice but to take refuge here. We were in that much of a predicament.

"The Reims will start climbing up after us before long at this rate. We don't have any path to retreat to."

My shoulders shook at Louie's words.

Eru, who was carrying us, was rested on the branches in a pretty uncomfortable manner. There really wasn't any way to escape!

"——I don't know if it'll work, but…"

"……Huh?"

I turned around, unable to grasp what he was talking about, to see Louie pull something out of the luggage that was fastened to Eru's body.

"What's that?"

In his hands was a mysterious...o...b..that was cut like a jewel. It was about the size of a baseball. There was an aqua flame burning at the center of the translucent orb.

"It's a ritual tool. I discovered it while we were searching through the buildings earlier."

Louie threw the ritual tool at the Reims that were squirming on the road as soon as the words left his mouth.

The moment that the ritual tool fell on top of the Reims——a flash of light burst through the area.

Aqua flames immediately spread out from that spot and quickly covered the Reims.

"A, amazing……, this will save us, won't it!?"

A simplistic cheer of joy rose up from my heart.

I was so sure that we would be saved.

I was soon made to realize how naïve my thinking was.

The Reims that were enveloped in the strange aqua flames. For some reason, they weren't running away.

"——Why?"

They were laughing.

As if they were simply playing in the flames.

"I guess it wasn't strong enough after all."

Louie's chagrined words fell on my ears.

The Reims began to move like they were dancing one after another. They were stomping their feet furiously……to stamp out the flames.

Maybe we could have expected a better result if the flames had been stronger.

But flames that only spread this far would only be able to hold back the Reims for a minute, maybe two. It would be difficult to chase them away.

"What do we do?"

I grasped Eru's mane tightly with my sweaty hands and desperately tried to think of another plan.

I saw the state of the village for a moment by the light of the flames that were scorching the earth.

I'd already known what to expect, but the couldn't help but be overwhelmed even still. Reims were jostling about everywhere in the night that only continued to grow darker.

"Maybe's it'd be better if we got down and ran while they're still being even slightly held back……"

"It's too dangerous. We can only distract the Reims that are within range of the flames."

"Are there still more of the ritual tool left?"

After a brief moment, Louie answered that there were two in a low voice. I closed my eyes hard and let out a quivering sigh. There were only two. It wasn't nearly enough for us to escape with.

"Is there nothing else we could use?"

If I recalled correctly, Louie had packed various tools that I couldn't determine how to use in with our luggage while we were searching through the houses. Our s.h.i.+eld of flames would collapse soon.

"If we don't figure out something soon, we'll…"

"Hibiki."

I started to move on top of Eru and forced my way past the surprised Louie's side to reach into the luggage. Louie supported me in a hurry so that I wouldn't fall off as I squirmed about.

It was possible to face the Reims if we used the divine sword. But that was only the case if I was as good as wielding a sword as Louie was.

All I could do really was to swing it around with all my might, and that was during normal times. I doubted that I'd be able to do even that properly right now, when all I could feel was hesitation and fear.

I wanted to pull at my hair because of all the uneasiness and irritation that was piling up inside me. I could only picture myself being reliable in my imagination.

——I have to hurry up and figure out a way to escape!

I chaotically rummaged through the luggage.

"Isn't there anything that might be useful……!?"

I had no idea what was what. My head and my heart were a mess. I couldn't keep my composure. I didn't know anything about the stuff from this world!

"Hibiki."

My confusion only grew stronger and I wanted to cry out loud.

Louie diffidently moved me back to where I had originally been in front of him.

"I——will do as you desire."

"……Huh?"

Louie's voice sounded gentle even in this extreme life-or-death situation.

I furrowed my brows because I didn't understand what he'd meant.

"If you wish to prioritize your mission, I will create a path for you."

Louie's eyes were clear in the light from the flames on the ground. He was looking at me like he was looking at something dear.

"I will open a path of blood for you to escape through. I will never let you fall prey to the Reims."

"I said that you can't do that! I told you that you can't jump into danger all by yourself."

Please, don't make me more of a coward than I already am.

"Then, if you're saying that you intend to stay with me…"

"Louie?"

Louie's arm, still supporting me, began to tremble.

"——Please grant me your end."

His voice was small enough that it was almost lost in the Reims' cries.

"My end……?"

He nodded when I parroted his words back at him. His finely-shaped lips began to move. They uttered their next words to me carefully, as though they were offering me a confession.

"Your death, as a person."

Oh, I thought.

"Are you saying we should……kill ourselves?"

——No, Louie means to kill me first.

The inside of my head went white when I realized what Louie had resolved himself to do. I asked,

"……if we end our lives while we're still human, we won't have to be tormented by the Reims. And we also won't have to become one of them and wander the darkness forever……?"

"We no longer have enough time left to escape. But, we still have time to protect the liberty of our souls."

I hadn't even realized that this was a choice we could make until he'd suggested it.

Feelings that I couldn't put into words began to grow in me. I gulped audibly, to hold back the impulse to break out into a wild rampage.

Eru growled in low indignation as if he had understood what Louie had said.

To be honest, his suggestion tugged at my heart just a little bit.

"Wait, Louie, that's…"

"……We don't have the time to worry over it."

"Wait."

I shook my head in a panic.

I didn't know why. But the choice of dying didn't really click with me, even in an urgent situation like now.

I couldn't imagine myself dying no matter how hard I tried.

The reason that I had been tempted a bit just now was a hopelessly pathetic one. It was only because my heart had been unfairly relieved at the possibility that I would be able to turn a blind eye to the fear and suffering I would face from now on. That was the only reason why.

"I won't allow you to suffer. You won't even feel the pain."

"Louie."

"It will be over soon. Please entrust yourself to me."

He sounded like he was begging. It didn't look like he was speaking recklessly. The glint of reason was still s.h.i.+ning properly in his eyes.

I'm sure that Louie was being serious as he said this. He was wholeheartedly trying to protect my soul.

——I can't let you do that.

Louie was probably making a huge misunderstanding about me. He had undoubtedly overestimated my worth because of the special feelings he harbored for me due to the unusual way we'd met.

The majority of my opinions had been nothing more than shallow thoughts born from the mood in the air.

I couldn't drag the n.o.ble Louie into my mess by rashly agreeing to let him do this.

"After you kill me——are you planning on taking your own life too, Louie?"

I didn't even need to ask. But if he did this, the sins that Louie would have to bear would double.

The sin of killing me.

The sin of killing himself.

I was the one who had made Louie say this. I was always panicking, and my weakness had made him say all of this.

——Honestly……what on earth am I doing?!

I grit my teeth as hard as I could and closed my eyes shut. I opened them again quickly afterward. I looked at the nightmarish reality that spread out before me as far as I could see. Beyond all doubt, this was my reality.

"Please, Hibiki. Grant me your permission."

I grasped tightly at Louie's large hand wrapped around my waist.

His hand, which was always covered in blood. A shadow clouded his eyes every time he wiped it off, hurting his own heart all the time until now.

His life wasn't dear to him. I knew this already.

He was trying to save me by sacrificing not only his body, but by sacrificing his heart like this as well.

"Louie……you can't do that."

I'll protect him.

It'd be great if I could protect him even more than he protects me.

"Hibiki."

"We promised that we'd both escape ASAP when there was danger, you know?"

"If we get hurt, we'll both carry half the scars. We'll share the pain and hards.h.i.+ps too…… We aren't alone. We're here together, just like this."

I took in a deep breath and simultaneously swallowed down my fear. The area between my eyebrows began to tingle sensitively for some reason.

"We'll escape,"

I vowed with all the strength I could muster.

"I absolutely won't let you die, and I won't die either. We'll survive this without fail."

I'll put off thinking about everything else for later.

"For now, our only goal is to get out of Urs safely."

I changed my posture and rummaged through the luggage again. My fingers brushed upon a pouch that sounded like it had water in it.

Water. It was the water we had found while scavenging the buildings.

"That's right! I should have that with me."

I hauled in the bag that was dangling off the side of the luggage. It was the bag that I had brought over from j.a.pan.

"I'm pretty sure I brought it with me…"

"Hibiki, what are you…?"

Relying on my hazy memory, I stuck my fingers in a pocket inside my bag.

"Here it is!"

It was a small, silver, rectangular object. An old zippo lighter.

It was in my bag because I'd been trying to get Uncle Miharu, who was a heavy smoker, to quit smoking. My uncle had declared that he'd quit a long time ago, but he always said he'd only have just one more smoke and never actually got around to quitting.

"……Sorry, Uncle."

I'd secretly snuck out the lighter from my uncle's jacket pocket and hidden it in my bag right before I'd left the ryokan in a hurry.

Yes, at the ryokan in Sarumi. When he asked me, "Are you going out, Hibiki?" I'd panicked because I thought that he'd seen me taking out the lighter and made up some random excuse on the fly. Then, I'd left Uncle Miharu in the room and went outside on my own. Never in my dreams did I think that our brief conversation would be the last time I'd see him.

"What in the world…?"

I turned to the puzzled Louie and beamed.

"Louie, can you hold me up for a little bit?"

"What are you planning to do?"

I held both the lighter and the pouch of water as I slowly kneeled on Eru's back.

Louie moved to support me in a hurry. Eru was being cooperative, too, and made his tail stand up straight like a rod and stopped moving. Sorry for using you like a stool, Eru.

I gathered my breathing and looked down at the ground. The ritual tool that Louie had thrown earlier had lost most of its effect.

The Reims, having stamped away the flames, finally began to press in to attack us.

"It's okay, I'm sure it'll work. I'll chase them away,"

I whispered as if I was trying to hypnotize myself and flipped open the lighter with a click. I opened the waterskin as well.

Theoretically, I was doing the same thing that I'd done when I'd healed Louie from poison.

"Olin and Silvai gave me power. I'm a part of their households."

Olin, the G.o.d of war, and Silvai, a primordial G.o.d. I imagined their dazzling figures in my mind. I hadn't figured out how to properly use the power they'd given me yet.

But Silvai said that he was the G.o.d who governed over wind and the atmosphere.

He'd said that my name, 'Hibiki', shared camaraderie with the atmosphere and was therefore affiliated with him.

——Lend me your power, okay, Silvai?

Mine was mostly a plan born from sheer desperation.

I put a finger in my mouth and bit down on it hard.

"——Owww! Wow, that hurts!"

I'd bitten my own finger, and the pain of it still made me tear up and p.i.s.sed me off. My fangs were a bit on the sharper side, you see. I'd accidentally bitten my tongue while eating and cried out in pain on multiple occasions in the past.

"Hibiki! What are you…!?"

I ignored Louie's exclamation of surprise and gingerly took my finger out of my mouth.

Red blood dribbled out of it when I did.

"What are you doing to yourself?!"

"I, I'm okay!"

The taste of blood spread across the inside of my mouth, which was a little gross.

Even as I grimaced, I stuck my finger, dyeing red from blood, into the mouth of the waterskin. Stinging pain flashed through my finger for a moment when it touched the water.

I was planning on trying something tremendously crazy.

The blood of a saint.

I'd seen something about it before in a movie or something.

Like how the cup that held Christ's blood became known as the Holy Grail, for example. Blood was used as a symbol for the holy.

Naturally, I myself wasn't holy in the slightest.

But, I'd just so happened to receive power from Silvai and Olin and had become a member of the G.o.ds' households even though I was still human, apparently.

I'm sure that there was a lot of meaning behind their words. a.s.suming it was true that the blessings of the G.o.ds were dwelling within my body and circulating within my blood, that is.

But I'd actually been able to successfully purify the insect's poison.

"Please turn into holy water!"

"——Holy water……?"

I smiled at Louie's bewilderment and gently brought up the waterskin and pressed it up against my forehead. I want the wind to stir up. Please let it boost what I'm about to do. Please, Silvai.

I heard Louie call out my name.

I threw the b.l.o.o.d.y water vigorously down at the Reims below, as if I was throwing a ball at them. Normally, the water wouldn't have gotten very far.

But it looked like my prayers had been answered.

The water, which I had thrown pouch and all, drew glittering arcs of light as it scattered into the atmosphere.

Next, I flipped on the zippo lighter.

"Lend me your strength, Uncle Miharu."

I looked at the tiny flame in my hand and recalled the figure of Uncle Miharu, who was in a different world from this one. My uncle, who was a heavy smoker, a secret railway maniac, and loved jazz and cats more than anything else in the world. Let's go on an adventure, Hibiki……, his cheerful voice echoed in my ear. His large hand had pulled me somewhere brighter whenever I was hurting. I want to see him again one day with a smile on my face, so I can't let myself die here!

"Please, pave us a path!"

I poured all of my feelings into the lighter as I threw it.

The small flame was swallowed into the crowd of Reims without a sound.

It happened immediately afterward. Vivid blue pillars of fire rose up from the ground one after the other.

"What!?"

Louie gulped and stared fixedly at the ground.

The fire from the lighter I'd thrown had apparently reacted with the water soaking the Reims. The water amplified the effect of the fire as if it was gasoline.

"This is……!?"

Louie pressed me into his arms as if by instinct.

A Reim burst into a pillar or fire with a loud noise. The flames gradually spread out to the other Reims around it. Maybe it was better to say that they were bursts of light with the intensity of fireworks, rather than to simply call them flames.

As proof, the ground hadn't been burnt at all. The greedy fire burned only the Reims.

"Did it work……?"

I suddenly grew anxious, though I didn't know why. I felt like these flames were much more violent than the flames from the tool had been.

The pillars of fire refused to extinguish no matter how hard the Reims struggled against them.

The blue flames gave off a brilliant light and clung to the besieged Reims like ivy.

"I didn't mean for it to…"

…be this strong. I swallowed the rest of my sentence.

The Reim's terrifying curses echoed around us. Their voices of resent reverberated endlessly. Their voices overlapped and spiraled like a tornado.

The sight of the writhing Reims made for a picture of h.e.l.l that froze my heart solid.

They were dancing haphazardly like puppets whose strings had been cut.

The Reims were crumbling apart. The azure fire was melting off their skin like acid, causing it to froth and fall to the ground, contaminating the earth and dying it black.

"Terrible."

Louie's horrified monologue pierced through my heart.

I only wanted to keep the Reims away for a little while, to open up a path for us to survive.

The Reims that hadn't fallen victim to the fire yet roared and began to flee the area.

And yet, the merciless blue fire chased after the Reims as if it had a mind of its own and melted them one after another.

——I never thought that this would happen.

I had never even antic.i.p.ated that the effects could ever be this strong.

I opened my eyes wide in shock as I looked down at the Reims fleeing in confusion.

"The Reims, they're in pain."

This was a result that I myself had brought about, and yet I couldn't help but be afraid of it.

The enormous power that the G.o.ds had given me far exceeded my tiny heart's capacity for it, so far, in fact, that I wouldn't be forgiven if I wielded it recklessly. I'd only begun to understand this now.

In that case, it was possible that I'd bring about something excruciatingly gruesome just based on my decisions alone. Just like the scene before me right now.

"Settle down already."

Please. I felt like this scene was the G.o.ds' way of punis.h.i.+ng me.

Now that I mentioned it, Olin had seemed sad too. He'd said that if the G.o.ds were reckless, their divine authority would cause more distortions in the world. And yet, I'd received their power.

Thanks to this, Olin and Silvai were judged by the commandments of the G.o.ds. But from the other side of the story, it meant this power was dangerous enough that whoever used it had to be punished immediately.

But, I wouldn't be able to stand my ground against Fortune's successor at all if I didn't wield such an enormous power.

"Fortune."

I recalled the figure of the person who had pulled me into this mysterious fate. The mask that had covered half of their face. The many, many cynical words they'd uttered.

——Why did you try to destroy this world?

The pillars of flame continued to flare up without pause.

Would they not rest until every last Reim had been burnt down?

To resurrect the people and the earth. Olin had warned me so many times that it wouldn't be an easy feat, but I hadn't comprehended the weight of his words at all.

"How is this possible……?"

I came back to my senses upon hearing Louie's dazed voice. It wasn't the time to be s.p.a.cing out.

"Louie, Eru, let's escape now while we can!"

I sat back down on Eru's back in a hurry and urged Louie, who was frozen in place.

Just then, I saw Louie's stiff face as he looked back at me. My breath caught in my chest.

There was true fear reflected clearly in his eyes.

I couldn't tell if it was the thing called "awe" or if it was pure, genuine fear. Either way, it was clear to me that his feelings were directed to me, who had created this scene.

……At the very least, his eyes weren't looking at something he considered human in the same way he was.

Maybe Louie only truly began to believe in my incredible tale about meeting the G.o.ds just now.

A sharp pain pa.s.sed through my chest.

——Put it all away for later. I can think about whatever I want to after we get out of here safely.

"Eru, hurry!"

Eru shook his mane as if to say he understood after I shook away my pain and gave him an order in a strong voice and made a huge leap.

I felt weightless for a moment. Eru, with Louie and me on his back, avoided the Reims that were writhing in the flames and landed in an open s.p.a.ce.

I couldn't tell which direction was south. In any case, Eru ran in the direction with the least number of Reims. There were more Reims that were unharmed than not the farther we got from the tree.

I thought they were going to attack us, but the Reims were so caught up in running away from the fire that they didn't have the leisure to care about us. They didn't chase after us even when we pa.s.sed right next to them.

Eru ran low and quietly through the Reims.

And so, we were able to make our escape from the village of Urs.

***

Eru, whom we were riding on, ran toward a forest that was far away from Urs.

I wonder how far we've traveled? I was pretty sure we'd placed enough distance between us and the Reims.

Eventually, Eru stopped by a group of trees that looked like we could hide ourselves in. We decided to rest our bodies there until dawn.

"Hibiki."

After I sat down to rest on the dried earth.

Louie, looking a little anxious, gave me a thick robe to use in place of a blanket.

I somehow managed to smile back at him as I received it.

"……How are you feeling?"

"Mm, I'm fine."

I donned a mask of serenity and answered in my normal voice. I wrapped the robe around my shoulders and let out a sigh.

Eru, who was sitting next to me, cried in a heartrending manner and pressed his forehead firmly against my arm. ……Was he trying to console me, by any chance? He wiggled his nose when I stroked his mane.

I felt Louie's heavy gaze on me, and it was the best I could do to look away and pretend I didn't notice.

I wasn't able to look him in the eye anytime soon.

I'm sure that there were a lot of things he wanted to talk to me and ask me about. I could feel it.

But I also felt that he, too, was fervently holding back some kind of feeling. Or, maybe he was afraid that something would change if he was too hasty with his words.

Words, once spoken, could never be taken back no matter how much you regretted them.

I counted in my heart for a few seconds so my feelings wouldn't run rampant. I gently took my hand away from Eru and peered at Louie. Our eyes met only for a second before he looked down, bewildered, and awkwardly added wood to the campfire so that the fire wouldn't die out.

"Are you hurt anywhere, Louie?"

"——I am not."

"Okay."

Our conversation dwindled down, maybe because we were both being cautious, and started to become so curt that it was almost cold.

"We should get a little sleep."

I snuggled up in rest against Eru's abdomen in order to clumsily end the conversation. Eru cooed in a lonely manner numerous times.

……I can't move yet. It'll look unnatural if I don't hold it in a little longer.

"Hibiki."

"Oh, Eru, I have to give you water before we go to sleep. You're tired, aren't you?"

I got up, crawled out of the robe I'd been using as a blanket, and took out the plastic water bottle from my bag. I poured some water into my hand and offered it to Eru, who was flapping his tail around restlessly.

"I'm sorry that I used the water we'd finally gotten ahold of like that……earlier."

I looked blankly over at Eru, who approached the water in my hand while twitching his nose, as I spoke.

I could feel Louie's nervousness. As I'd expected, he looked like he was struggling to keep his emotions in check when I slowly looked over to him.

"That's——"

"How much water do we have left?"

I asked quickly, and, for a single moment, there was a strange look on Louie's face almost as if he'd been hurt. He promptly looked down, hid away his feelings, and began to check through the luggage.

"We have two more waterskins."

"Will it last until we get to the temple?"

"It'll be tight……but I suppose we will have to make do."

If Louie said that, then it must be right tight. He continued,

"though, it looks like we'll be good on food."

"I see. It'd be nice if we could get our hands on some water elsewhere…"

I sighed as I spoke. Eru didn't drink much water, as if he was holding himself back. After a moment of thought, I gave him some of the food that looked like raisins. He ate it readily.

"Do you know where we are?"

"I believe we are most likely somewhere to the southwest of Urs."

It looked like we'd strayed a little from the route to our destination, Lavann. He continued,

"we'll have to make a slight detour, but I don't believe that it'll be a cause for concern."

"Oh, okay."

Louie had begun to speak formally again, but I didn't have it in me to point it out. This wasn't only because I could more or less imagine what he was feeling——but also because I was feeling strangely exhausted.

My body felt heavy, and I felt like my consciousness would drop straight down into the darkness if I didn't keep my stomach clenched. I had to keep focus.

I felt Louie look at me like he wanted to say something to me a number of times. I pretended not to notice by taking great pains to sound normal as I threw a couple of questions about Lavann at him and confirmed what we'd be doing tomorrow.

Has it been long enough yet?

"……Erm, I'll be back soon, okay?"

Louie stared at me with a serious expression on his face, taken aback, as I got up and said this.

"Um, you can't follow me, okay?"

I said in a purposefully troubled voice as I pretended to be embarra.s.sed.

We'd repeated this exchange multiple times before. I was basically asking him not follow after me because I had to go to the bathroom.

As usual, Louie read between the lines and had an indescribable look on his face, as if he was fl.u.s.tered or panicking.

He was a serious person, so, as long as I said something like this, he wouldn't follow after me even if he felt that something was off about my behavior.

"I'll be back soon. I'll scream for you if I see anything suspicious."

I added, as I always did. I acted as normally as I possibly could.

I turned my back to Louie, who looked dismayed, and deliberately stared hard into Eru's round eyes.

Please, make sure Louie doesn't come close to me for a little while. I want you to stop him if he gets suspicious and starts moving.

Eru was really smart. He looked like he'd understood what I was thinking. He cried out sorrowfully and restlessly lowered himself back to the ground.

Finally, I'd succeeded in getting away from Louie and Eru.

***

I stopped after I put enough distance between us.

I'd stopped at a place where strangely shaped trees were growing out of balance. Old dead leaves were piled up here and there like pinecones, and the trees' branches were plump like pineapples. They were thick and heavy and gave off a round impression overall.

Their trunks were also elliptical and even fatter than their branches, making them the perfect shape to hide behind.

I let the tension leave my shoulders and pressed my forehead against a dried tree trunk. I took out a cloth the size of a face towel that I'd snuck into breast pocket.

I blinked multiple times as I slowly crouched down and retched soundlessly with the cloth at my mouth.

I was so nauseous that I thought that my stomach would turn inside-out and broke out into a cold sweat.

It became so hard to breathe that it almost felt like something was squeezing down on my chest and my entire body began to spasm irregularly. I smelled the horrible stench of vomit. But Louie and Eru might hear me if I didn't keep the cloth over my mouth.

——I killed them!!

My screams echoed inside of my head and my center of gravity sank.

I murdered them!! The Reims……the villagers who used to be human!!

"I, I……!"

I had acted without thinking of the consequences, and it had brought about a merciless reality. My consciousness was suddenly stained black.

It wasn't even as if I'd cut them down in earnest. The Reims had been burned and melted by the blue fire!

"What do I……!!"

——I'm sure I won't be able to revive them anymore, will I!?

"I……, what have I……!"

I'd sacrificed those people for my own sake.

Just so I could survive!

And yet here I was, completely unharmed. I could see, I could breathe, I could move my arms and legs. I was as alive as I always have been. I was here looking completely fine without having paid a single sacrifice.

"U, urgh……"

Violent nausea rose up within me again. I pressed down at my throat to keep the noise from coming out.

How many Reims had been there?

And, how many had burst into pillars of flame? Just how many residents of Urs had the ruthless blue flames burnt into oblivion?

——I've crushed a lot of human lives.

Lies, this can't be real!!

My body was trembling hard, as though it had been broken.

I murdered them. I killed so, so many people. It's a lie, someone please help me.

"No, I never meant for it to happen! I only wanted to chase them away, to buy us enough time to escape, I never wanted to hurt them……!!"

I didn't know, but that wouldn't cut it.

Even if I couldn't have predicted the results at all——it was something I'd done with my own hands, of my own volition.

Pain that hurt so much I wanted to writhe in agony spread across my chest and my breathing soon grew ragged. I suppressed the urge to scream by throwing aside the cloth and digging my nails into the earth so hard they might break. Sweat poured down my neck like tears.

——Someone help me, I've crushed them underfoot, I've crushed so many lives again, I, I, somebody…!"

No, I don't want to believe it. Did I really kill a bunch of people who'd done nothing wrong? Someone please answer me. Tell me it isn't true!!

"……!!……!"

——Don't you dare cry!

I can't, if I cry, my eyes will swell up and Louie'll definitely notice. I can't cry. If I do, then I'll be making Louie, who's already scarred all over, shoulder everything again. He always tries to protect me no matter what.

……But…!

"——I'm so scared!!"

I grabbed at my hair with both hands. I had murdered them. My words and my sins burrowed deep into my body. I felt like I'd explode.

"I, I don't know, I don't know……!"

My fingers, which had been grabbing at my hair, slid over my face.

I peered out between my fingers and saw an illusion. The burning Reims. Their resentment. Their voices of lament and their cursing. They were screaming, asking me why I'd murdered them. They turned their hate-filled eyes to me, crying black tears as they writhed, reached out for me, burned, and melted.

They asked me what they'd ever done to deserve this. Hadn't I come here to save them?

They asked me why they had to be killed——!

——Stop don't look at me, I never meant for it to happen, please forgive me I'm so sorry!

I wouldn't be forgiven. There was no way I would be. I'd stolen their futures. I'd burnt up their lives. All for my own sake.

I slaughtered them I murdered so many people just so I could escape——.

My consciousness blurred and I was a.s.saulted by violent nausea once again. There was nothing left in me to throw up. But, it wasn't like I could let the sound of my dry-heaving carelessly slip out. What do I do?

"……Mmph."

My screams threatened to break through my throat. I was about to go insane. My heart was being buried under the Reims' resentful stares. I was being pierced by their voices that condemned me for my rash actions. I've done something terrible; what can I do? I was the one who did it, and ahh, my heart was being ripped to shreds by their hatred.

——I can't go home anymore. I'm all covered in blood.

I had the great urge to hurl again. I shoved my fingers down my throat to block out the sound.

I had to puke out something, even if it was only gastric juice, or I wouldn't be able to hold down this violent urge.

Louie will realize something's wrong if I'm too loud. I don't want him to see me. Not like this. Please, don't notice anything, forget everything I've done. I don't have the right to grieve.

That look in Louie's eyes. Was it disgust? Awe? Either way, it had been a clear look of rejection. What if fear or wrath followed his rejection and he started disparaging me? I wouldn't be able to bear it.

My throat hurt like it was breaking apart because I'd forced myself to throw up. It was hot. It was hot everywhere. The stench of gastric fluid. My tongue and the mucous membrane on my fingers. I wanted to tear everything apart!

——Uncle Miharu, Mom, Dad, I've done something truly unthinkable.

"……I wanted to become someone who could be proud of how hard I'd worked and how great I was."

My hopes for being able to go back home to everyone with my head held high crumbled away into tiny pieces.

"I can't see them anymore. I don't know how I'd even face them……"

Why had this happened? I only wanted to make myself useful. That's really all I'd wanted.

I felt like I could never be allowed to be happy again. I'm sure that I'd never be allowed truly enjoy myself and laugh out loud every again, would I?

I'd never forgive someone if something like that had happened to me. It didn't matter if it was on purpose or not. There was no way I'd be allowed to be shroud in happiness after doing something so horrible to someone else like it was nothing.

"I only wanted to save everyone, that's why…"

What kind of silly dreams had I been seeing? Just what could a normal fifteen-year-old, who wasn't particularly good at anything, ever possibly save?"

There was a limit to how conceited I could be.

I desperately pressed my hands together and crossed my fingers so hard they turned white in order to keep my body from shaking so heavily.

I naturally found myself in a position of prayer. On top of that, I even pressed my hands against my forehead. My nausea refused to go away. I wanted to expel all of the fear and regret that was rising up from inside me.

"G.o.d, help me…"

The hoa.r.s.e words slipped out of my mouth before I knew it.

A low voice of resent bubbled up from my heart at the same time. I could hardly believe that voice belonged to me. It resounded throughout my body.

——But you sacrificed even the G.o.ds.

"Oh……"

I fell into a daze. The curse that was voiced from within my body had cut something apart.

Who else could I pray to——?

All the strength left my body. All of my feelings disappeared like a receding wave.

I looked down at my hands, which were still clasped together. I slowly freed my tightly entwinned fingers one by one.

What am I supposed to pray? Will anything change if I do?

I looked around my surroundings. Reality hadn't changed even in the tiniest bit. The world was dark. I couldn't hear the cute chirping of birds or the murmuring of streams. There only existed the oppressive darkness, as always. Only the dying moon hung from the sky.

I tried to say something, but I couldn't get out the words.

I have to get back to Louie and Eru soon, or they'll start getting suspicious.

I stood up as if I was being pulled by an invisible hand. I covered up my vomit with dirt, burying the soiled cloth along with it, and swiftly erased all evidence that I'd lost my mind for a moment. I had to return.

"I have to go back."

Something in my heart had become paralyzed.

"I'm okay, this is nothing. Nothing happened here……"

I quietly turned my feet toward where Louie and Eru were waiting.

I didn't quite know why I was going back. I was simply repeating that I had to over and over single-mindedly in my heart.

My feet were unstable, as if I was walking on cus.h.i.+ons. My world was spinning, too. Was my heart really even beating?

I saw a tiny light. It was the campfire. I saw Louie and Eru next to it.

Louie was standing up, probably because he wasn't sure if he should come after me or not. Eru was loitering around restlessly too.

Louie made a hard expression the moment he realized I'd returned. His beautiful moon-colored eyes. Was it fear that I saw dwelling in them, like I suspected? Just imagining what he must be feeling made me want to crumple down where I stood.

"……You could have gone to sleep first. You were waiting for me?"

Eru ran toward me as if he was pouncing. He pressed his nose against my arm with all his might and cried out anxiously.

I——.

A smile naturally formed on my face, even though I making one consciously.

Eru's fur felt nice on my fingers, so I gently buried my face in it.

"Eru, Louie, you both have to get some sleep."

"——Yeah."

I didn't have the leisure to worry about Louie and Eru. I pulled the robe I was using as a blanket over my head, curled up into a ball, and fell into a deep sleep that was like falling into a dark hole.

I had a terrifying nightmare.

There was surely some kind of meaning behind my dream, and the scene I saw was undoubtedly a projection of reality.

A mountain of corpses had been made amongst the rotten buildings and trees of the village of Urs——.

↑ Rokurokubi: A monster from j.a.panese folklore that takes the appearance of a person, usually a woman, with a long neck that can expand and contract.