Tales from Blackwood Volume V Part 18

"Citizens! isolated as we are by this base decree from the great body of the people, it becomes us to const.i.tute a separate government for ourselves. Order must be maintained, but such order as shall strike terror into the b.r.e.a.s.t.s of our enemies. France has been a.s.sailed through us, and we must vindicate her freedom. Amongst us are many patriots, able and willing to sustain the toils of government; and I now propose that we proceed to elect a provisional ministry."

The motion was carried by acclamation, and the orator proceeded:

"Citizens! amongst our numbers there is one man who has filled the most lofty situations. I allude to Citizen Jupiter Potard. Actor in a hundred revolutions, he has ever maintained the sublime demeanour of a patriot of the Reign of Terror. Three generations have regarded him as a model, and I now call upon him to a.s.sume the place and dignity of our President."

Jupiter Potard, a very fine-looking old man, with a beard about a yard long,--who was really a model, inasmuch as he had sat in that capacity for the last thirty years to the artists of Paris,--was then conducted, amidst general applause, to a chair at the head of the table. Jupiter, I am compelled to add, seemed rather inebriated; but as he did not attempt to make any speeches, that circ.u.mstance did not operate as a disqualification.

The remainder of the administration was speedily formed. Destripes became Minister of the Interior: Pomme-de-terre received the Portfolio of Justice. A gentleman, who rejoiced in the sobriquet of Gratte-les-rues, was made Minister of War. Saigne-du-nez appointed himself to the Financial Department, and I was unanimously voted the Minister of Foreign Affairs. These were the princ.i.p.al offices of the Republic, and to us the functions of government were confided. Bagsby, at the request of the poissardes, received the honorary t.i.tle of Minister of Marine.

A separate table was ordered for our accommodation; and our first decree, countersigned by the Minister of the Interior, was an order for a fresh subsidy from the wine-cellar.

Here a sentry, who had been stationed at a window, announced the approach of a detachment of the National Guard.

"Citizen Minister of War!" said Saigne-du-nez, who, without any scruple, had usurped the functions of poor old Jupiter Potard, "this is your business. It is my opinion that the provisional government cannot receive a deputation of this kind. Let them announce their intentions at the barricade without."

Gratte-les-rues, a huge ruffian with a squint, straightway shouldered his musket and left the room. In a few minutes he returned with a paper, which he cast upon the table.

"A decree from the Hotel de Ville," he said.

"Is it your pleasure, citizen colleagues, that this doc.u.ment should now be read?" asked Saigne-du-nez.

All a.s.sented, and, as Minister of Foreign Affairs, the following doc.u.ment was placed in my hands. It was listened to with profound attention.

"Unity is the soul of the French nation; it forms its grandeur, its power, and its glory; through unity we have triumphed, and the rights of the people have been vindicated.

"Impressed with these high and exalted sentiments, and overflowing with that fraternity which is the life-blood of our social system, the Provisional Government decrees:--

"I. That the Tuileries, now denominated the Hopital des Invalides Civiles, shall be immediately evacuated by the citizens who have so bravely wrested it from the tyrant.

"II. That each patriot, on leaving it, shall receive from the public treasury the sum of five francs, or an equivalent in coupons.

"III. The Minister of the Interior is charged with the execution of this decree.

"_Liberte--Fraternite--Egalite_.

(Signed) DUPONT (de l'Eure). LEDRU-ROLLIN.

LAMARTINE. CReMIEUX.

GARNIER-PAGES. LOUIS BLANC.

ARAGO. MARRAST.

MARIE. FLOCON.

ALBERT (ouvrier)."

"_Sang de Mirabeau!_" cried Destripes, when I had finished the perusal of this doc.u.ment, "do they take us for fools! Five francs indeed! This is the value which these aristocrats place upon the blood of the people!

Citizen colleagues, I propose that the messenger be admitted, and immediately flung out of the window!"

"And I second the motion," said Pomme-de-terre.

"Nay, citizens!" cried Saigne-du-nez,--"no violence. I agree that we cannot entertain the offer, but this is a case for negotiation. Let the Minister of Foreign Affairs draw up a protocol in reply."

In consequence of this suggestion I set to work, and in a few minutes produced the following manifesto, which may find a place in some subsequent collection of treaties:

"France is free. The rights of every Frenchman, having been gained by himself, are sacred and inviolable; the rights of property are abrogated.

"Indivisibility is a fundamental principle of the nation. It applies peculiarly to public works. That which the nation gave, the nation now resumes.

"We protest against foreign aggression. Satisfied with our own triumph, we shall remain tranquil. We do not ask possession of the Hotel de Ville, but we are prepared to maintain our righteous occupation of the Tuileries.

"Impressed with these high and exalted sentiments, the Provisional Government of the Tuileries decrees--

"I. That it is inexpedient to lessen the glory of France, by intrusting the charge of the Tuileries to any other hands save those of the brave citizens who have so n.o.bly captured it.

"II. That the Provisional Government does not recognise coupons as a national medium of exchange.

"III. The Minister of Foreign Affairs is charged with the execution of this decree.

"_Mort aux tyrans!_

(Signed) POTARD. POMME-DE-TERRE.

DUNSHUNNER. GRATTE-LES-RUES.

SAIGNE-DU-NEZ. DESTRIPES.

BAGSBY (tisserand)."

This doc.u.ment was unanimously adopted as the true exponent of our sentiments; and I was highly complimented by my colleagues on my diplomatic ability. I took occasion, however, to fold up the following note along with the despatch:

"If Citizen Albert has any regard for his English friends, he will immediately communicate their situation to the citizen Monte-Christo. Here, affairs look very ill. The public tranquillity depends entirely upon the supply of liquor."

This business being settled, we occupied ourselves with more industrial duties. The finance was easily disposed of. There were but four francs, six sous, leviable among the whole community; but Gratte-les-rues, with instinctive acuteness, had discovered the watch and chain of the unfortunate Minister of Marine, and these were instantly seized and confiscated as public property.

On investigation we found that the larder was but indifferently supplied. Due allowance being made for the inordinate appet.i.te of the poissardes, of whom there were no less than ten in our company, it was calculated that our stock of food could not last for more than a couple of days. On the other hand, there was a superabundance of wine.

We then proceeded to adjust a scheme for the future regulation of labour throughout France; but I do not think that I need trouble my readers with the detail. It did not differ materially from that propounded by M.

Louis Blanc, and the substance of it might shortly be stated as--three days' wage for half-a-day's labour. It was also decreed, that all servants should receive, in addition to their wages, a proportion of their masters' profits.

After some hours of legislation, not altogether harmonious--for Destripes, being baulked in a proposition to fire the palace, threatened to string up old Jupiter Potard to the chandelier, and was only prevented from doing so by the blunderbuss of Saigne-du-nez--we grew weary of labour, and the orgies commenced anew. I have neither patience nor stomach to enter into a description of the scene that was there and then enacted. In charity to the human race, let me hope that such a spectacle may never again be witnessed in the heart of a Christian city.

Poor Bagsby suffered fearfully. The affection of the poissarde had gradually augmented to a species of insanity, and she never left him for a moment. The unhappy man was dragged out by her to every dance; she gloated on him like an ogress surveying a plump and pursy pilgrim; and at the close of each set she demanded the fraternal salute. He tried to escape from his persecutor by dodging round the furniture; but it was of no use. She followed him as a ferret follows a rabbit through all the intricacies of his warren, and invariably succeeded in capturing her booty in a corner.

At length night came, and with it silence. One by one the revellers had fallen asleep, some still clutching the bottle, which they had plied with unabated vigour so long as sensibility remained, and the broad calm moon looked on reproachfully through the windows of that desecrated hall. There was peace in heaven, but on earth--oh, what madness and pollution!

I was lying wrapped up in some old tapestry, meditating very seriously upon my present precarious situation, when I observed a figure moving amidst the ma.s.s of sleepers. The company around was of such a nature, that unpleasant suspicions naturally occurred to my mind, and I continued to watch the apparition until the moonlight shone upon it, when I recognised Bagsby. This poor fellow was a sad incubus upon my motions; for although I had no earthly tie towards him, I could not help feeling that in some measure I had been instrumental in placing him in his present dilemma, and I had resolved not to escape without making him the partner of my flight. I was very curious to know the object of his present movements, for the stealthy manner in which he glided through the hall betokened some unusual purpose. I was not long left in doubt. From behind a large screen he drew forth a coil of cord, formerly attached to the curtain, but latterly indicated by Destripes as the implement for Potard's apotheosis; and approaching a window, he proceeded to attach one end of it very deliberately to a staple. He then gave a cautious glance around, as if to be certain that no one was watching him, and began to undo the fastenings of the window. A new gleam of hope dawned upon me. I was about to rise and move to his a.s.sistance, when another figure glided rapidly through the moons.h.i.+ne. In an instant Bagsby was clutched by the throat, and a low voice hissed out--

"_Ah traitre! monstre! polisson! tu veux donc fuir?_"

It was the poissarde. Nothing on earth is so wakeful as a jealous woman.

She had suspected the designs of the wretched Minister of Marine, and counterfeited sleep only to detect him in the act of escaping.

Not a moment was to be lost. I knew that if this woman gave the alarm, Bagsby would inevitably be hanged with his own rope, and I stole towards the couple, in order to effect, if possible, a reconciliation.