Hard to Escape Chapter 32 Part1

It was already 4 am. The sky was still cloudy from the rain. My hands shook as I frantically dialed Yin Xuan's number. But her phone was off. I left a voicemail, but the unfamiliar, strange tone of the machine left me uneasy.

In the end, I grabbed my keys, and wearing only my pajamas, rushed out the door.

Outside, the cold, damp atmosphere chilled my hands. Yet, I almost couldn't feel it. I just didn't want to be by myself. It felt like a foreign soul was residing in my body, and it wanted to get rid of me. 

I ran on in the empty streets. In my heart, I could only think of how frightening my past self was. I felt angry, remorseful, and at a loss. I didn't understand myself, and nor did anyone else. No one knew what I was like.

The wind whistled past my ears. I wanted to run faster, so I could arrive sooner at that familiar door.

Almost without thinking, I sprinted to Yin Li's house. I didn't know where I had lost my slippers along the way. I stood outside, yelling his name. My voice was rough and filled with sorrow. The light in Yin Li's bedroom on the third floor finally lit up.

"Yan Xiao?!" When Yin Li made his way downstairs, he finally saw my tear-streaked face. He looked panicked. Seeing the wounds on my feet, he didn't say a word. He simply picked me up and brought me inside.

A blanket was wrapped around me, and a soft towel covered my head. Yin Li gently wiped off the dew on my hair. Then he shoved a cup of hot tea in my hands and looked searchingly into my eyes.

"What's wrong?" He wrapped his two hands around my hands, which were holding the tea.

Staring into the teacup, I noticed the surface was smooth, with no ripples. I was no longer shaking. I was sitting on the sofa, and Yin Li was crouched at my feet. If I just looked down, I would be able to see his gentle face. Finally, I calmed down and forced myself to clearly tell Yin Li all that had happened.

"So, Xuan Xuan wants to come clean to everything this afternoon at the press conference? No wonder she's so well behaved these days. So it was to trick me."

I thought Yin Li would become angry. However, he was surprisingly calm.

"Ever since last night, I've been unable to reach her. She disappeared. I couldn't find her. I thought that she just needed some personal s.p.a.ce to reflect on the movie." The tone of his voice was flat and inscrutable. "But if she's decided to do something, she won't let others' dissuasion stop her. She'd even go so far as to hide from the world until she finishes what she set out to do."

Yin Li had already removed his hands from mine. He furrowed his brows and started dialing numbers, dispatching people to find Yin Xuan and giving a heads up to his friends in the media. On the other hand, I started feeling cold. My lips started trembling. I didn't look Yin Li in the eye. It was too awkward. Just a day ago, it was him who had owed me, and I could hate him without regard. But now, the circ.u.mstances were unclear.

Unexpectedly, he gave me a hug. He brought me into his embrace, and patiently kissed my bangs. He rested my head against his chest so that my nose pressed into his s.h.i.+rt.

"Don't be afraid. It'll all be fine. This isn't your fault."

"You aren't mad? If we can't find Yin Xuan…"

"You don't know how happy I am." His hands cupping my face, Yin Li quickly cut me off. His expression was earnest. "Hearing that Xuan Xuan didn't purposely hit you is the best news I could ever hear. It's like an unexpected gift. I'm very happy. Really, I am."

"You're not at fault. And you never wrongly blamed me. Yan Xiao, you don't ever need to tell me 'I'm sorry.” Xuan Xuan has always been overly spoiled. That's why she willfully, recklessly, and drunkenly vented her emotions. Regardless, after the accident, it's because she hid to avoid punishment that we ended up with this mess. Moreover, I'm not a good person. I overprotected her. I sheltered her, took care of the accident's aftermath, and secretly brought you back from France."  

I looked up at Yin Li. His eyes were a beautiful black, just like the first time we met.

"Our selfishness changed your life. You were never at fault. Don't feel guilty. This punishment is only right for us. Let us experience the horror of losing what we hold most dear. I've said it before. You are my punishment."

"Do you want to be free from this punishment?" I tugged a corner of the blanket and bit my lip. Feeling a bit awkward, I continued, "I feel like my past self wasn't necessarily a good person."

Yin Li smiled. "I don't want to be free of this."

"I feel ashamed for what I have done. But I don't regret it. Only because I'm a bad person did I get the chance to meet you." Yin Li looked at the clock on the wall. "I will go out to look for Xuan Xuan now. What I need you to do is just sit here quietly. Believe me. All will be well. You aren't at fault. And don't think about the past. You said it was suicide, and that makes me very worried. Let's resolve it when I come back, okay?"

I nodded. As if by magic, the enchanted vines that had tightly bound and choked me grew docile under the power of his words. The vines withdrew their tendrils and slowly fell into slumber.

Yin Li put on his jacket and finally left the house. As he was shutting the door, I clearly saw his expression harden.

Candle: Yin Li's behavior here is really exemplary for a Chinese webnovel male lead lol… I love how he comforts Yan Xiao and emphasizes that it's not her fault instead of getting mad at her or kicking her out.