Hard to Escape Chapter 19.1

Once I'd arrived at school, I still wanted to be left to my own peace and quiet. Yet I didn't expect that upon entering the cla.s.sroom, everyone's eyes would sweep over in my direction. Among them, Su Lin Lin's gaze was the harshest. At first, I didn't know what was going on. Thankfully, it wasn't long before the professor entered. The lesson was French speaking and conversation, so everyone quickly quieted down.

But after the professor had gone over a few key points from the homework last time, he suddenly changed topics. He asked, "Isn't today a particularly happy occasion?" Then he squinted at me. Only then did I discover that everyone had begun to stare at me with varying expressions. Meanwhile, I started to get the feeling that something was off.

"Félicitations pour vos fiançailles!"1 This professor, who loved sentimental things, congratulated me in French while looking at me with a somewhat envious expression.

At this, my cla.s.smates all raised a clamor as well, repeating the same phrase in French and clapping excitedly.

Faced with this kind of situation, I was struck with a feeling of confusion as if I didn't know what night this night was.2 But my blank expression probably ticked off Su Lin Lin. In between cla.s.ses, she came over and said to me in a biting, sarcastic tone, "In the future, should I address you as Madame Yin? The dogs that actually bite don't bark. I really didn't see you as the sort of person to not only latch onto Yin Li, but also move so quickly to have him agree to put engagement notices in the papers."

2 不知今夕何夕 or 今夕何夕 ("Don't know what night this night is" or "what night is this night?") comes from a Song dynasty poem. Sometimes it's used to express frustration/confusion (like "What year is this?") or a feeling of regret ("How time flies!").

"Engagement notices?"

"What are you still playing dumb for? It's on the headlines of pretty much all the papers today. Even if I don't want to see it I can't avoid it." Saying this, Su Lin Lin reached into her bag and pulled out a newspaper, slapping it down on before me. "Just look at it yourself, the fact that Yin Li is willing to take this step really makes people's eyes fall out in shock."

Su Lin Lin's movements were very dramatic. The newspaper fell open before my eyes, revealing a corner of the headline story. Above a row of large red letters was a photo of Yin Li hugging me to him, taken just as we were smiling happily at each other. Yin Li carried my school bag and we walked hand-in-hand. The whole scene looked very intimate.

I unfolded the newspaper to see a vivid and lively tale.

"Crown prince" Yin Li's Engagement, fiancée Yan Xiao's smiling face.3 Insider reveals that the two have already been living together for a while. Expected to marry soon, suspecting a shotgun wedding after pregnancy.

3 There's actually a play on words here with Yan Xiao's name, 颜 (Yan) meaning "face", 笑 (Xiao) meaning "smile". It was written as 颜笑笑颜 (Yan Xiao xiao yan) meaning something like "Yan Xiao's smiling face".

And then, next to this description was placed a couple of photos. There was one of Chen Qing Yan and one of Yan Ge, and their photos were all edited to be black-and-white. Not only that, there was also a torn effect like they'd been ripped. Only the photo of Yin Li and I was in color, and with this in addition to the article, it gave off the feeling that I was completely flushed with success.

At this moment Wu Mei also came over, her entire face br.i.m.m.i.n.g with curiosity. "Turns out the person you brought to eat hotpot was filthy rich. Oh that's right, Yan Xiao, before cla.s.ses today a crowd of reporters came to ask us for interviews.

During this break in between cla.s.ses, I'd been completely surrounded by throngs of curious busybody cla.s.smates who wanted to come over and check me out. Then after cla.s.ses ended, even more cla.s.smates came over to tell me that the main entrance of our university was packed with reporters.

This news made my mind totally distracted, my thoughts in complete turmoil.

Yin Li had announced our relations.h.i.+p at the party after he'd recovered from that car accident, and he and I had never hid from anybody that we were living together. The reason that there'd never been any news about us in the papers until now, had merely been because he didn't want there to be. He'd felt that the timing wasn't right, so he didn't want other people to know about me. Now, all of the mainstream media had abandoned their previous silence and reported uninhibitedly like it was some sort of publicity campaign, until they'd practically established things as facts, once again slapping the label of "Yin Li's fiancée" onto me.

I originally wanted to ignore the conversation between Yin Li and Yin Xuan, also ignoring the little doubts I'd felt before. Yin Li only needed to give me enough time, he only needed to have enough patience to nicely act out a harmonious relations.h.i.+p with me so that I could continue to foolishly muddle by. But now, it instead was like he'd run out of time and could only close the net. This really an intelligent action, it completely wasn't like something that Yin Li would do.

The feelings between us had already become complicated, he should have given me time to slowly recover my emotions. But these insensitive and high-handed actions, for the sake of making me make a decision, forcibly shoved me forwards. These methods all made me feel helpless and painful. I loved Yin Li, but now I increasingly could not trust him.

He didn't know how much determination I had to summon in order to endure those feelings of terror and curiosity, in order to cut myself off from my past and, with my own hands, conceal the truth that was right before my eyes. The feeling this gave me was akin to as if I'd erased and rejected my very own past self. No one could understand these feelings of self-conflict and unease, as if even though the ground you currently walked on was stable, the very next step could plunge you off a cliff. But I could understand this kind of terror very clearly. Uncertain of the future, afraid of the past. For a few nights I couldn't even sleep, my appet.i.te so weak that I had to force myself to eat, but I still tried with all my might to comfort myself. That everything would be alright.

I needed him to that much, needed him to bolster the confidence of such a silly and stubborn person like me so that I could even more so foolishly indulge myself at this time. But his stride had instead gone awry.

This made me start to want to know about those things that he didn't want me to know. I had always possessed a kernel of curiosity, and now it could no longer be contained by reason.

However, mysteriously, it was as if fate had made its own plans. After cla.s.ses ended, because the front entrance was surrounded by reporters, I'd planned to slip away using a small, abandoned door in the back of the school. There was no way I could have predicted that I'd run into that foreigner, Frank.