Hard to Escape c1.3

Chapter 1.3

Yin Li had already calmed down and lowered his head to look at me. Light flickered in the depths of his dark eyes. As a victim, he was awfully calm.

I saw him this way, sighed some more and then continued talking: “Yin Li, we were never really lovers in the past were we? You’re lying to me.”

Yin Li’s voice was gloomy and cold: “Oh, why would you think that, Yan Xiao?”

“Isn’t this easy to guess? For someone who has lost their memories, there are only two methods that are the best for recovering them. One is to re-experience a scenario that they’ve gone through once and using a strong stimulus to jog the dormant memories. The other is to use the things that they deeply cared about or were obsessed with to open a door into their memories.” I swallowed a mouthful of saliva: “You see, only one car accident and I’m already almost paralyzed on one side of my body. Recreating the scene of a strong stimulus will probably result in me receiving a loving summons from G.o.d. Therefore, it just leaves the other kind of method. All movies play out like this. The female lead doesn’t remember the male lead, but her body remembers! Go to a hotel to have at it, pluck it, the Yin is filled, the Yang gives it a go, and the female lead will regain her memories! However, my body and your body clearly don’t remember each other.” I said while pointing at his and my lips.

“And then?” Yin Li relaxed his body into the back of the chair and calmly focused his gaze on me. The expression in his eyes held a faint hint of a fierce strictness.

“Yin Li, do you like me?”

Seemingly not antic.i.p.ating my change in topic, Yin Li was startled for a moment. I took advantage of this opening and continued on: “You see, I knew it. You can’t say it because you don’t love me at all.”

Yin Li’s entire body stiffened and the atmosphere was considerably strained.

I looked at him with some sympathy while simultaneously feeling embarra.s.sed again: “Sure enough, it was me who got entangled with you.” In an act of comfort, I patted his hand. When I touched him, I felt the back of his hand stiffen up even further. It could be a.s.sumed that the amount of mental upset that I had previously brought upon Yin Li was really too great.

“Was it because I fell for you and frantically pursued you, but you already had a lover and had rejected me? However, I refused to accept it and ultimately tried to force you to accept my feelings and even blocked the path of your car. As a result, there was a car accident and seeing my legs become this way, the good ethics that you’ve cultivated made you think you should take responsibility for me. Therefore, with tears you had to leave your true love in order to encourage my medical treatment and pretended to be my fiancee?”

Yin Li slightly widened his eyes, but before he showed any further expressions, he perfectly contained his state of mind. He merely wrinkled his brows and used a pondering expression to look at me. His entire person had taken on a guarded posture.

I smiled at him with a smile br.i.m.m.i.n.g with friendliness: “You don’t have to worry. I won’t force you to describe my past. A thousand people have a thousand Hamlets in their hearts. Although my present self doesn’t seem to have been a charming person in the past, since the accident, other than you, no one else has come to see me. Then again, who knows? Look at that model of keeping promises, Wei Sheng, pa.s.sed on from ancient times. He arranged a meeting with a woman underneath a bridge, but that woman jilted him and didn’t go. For the sake of waiting for her, at the time of high tide, he hugged the bridge’s pillar and at the end, he drowned. Looking at it now, wasn’t he an idiot forcing himself like that?”

I looked at Yin Li’s eyes. His face was expressionless and wasn’t scary, but I still faintly felt a little scared.

However, I didn’t want to hear about my past from Yin Li, or anyone else’s mouth. That was the past that they saw in their eyes. It was possible that according to their preference, they could arbitrarily twist and modify their explanation of my life. It’s like the distortion caused when someone else writes your biography on your behalf. I was unwilling to recklessly accept the past that other people had constructed for me. Rather than being filled with an altered past, I might as well never recall my memories in this lifetime. Besides, I didn’t really believe in Yin Li.

It was silent for a moment before Yin Li finally slightly narrowed his eyes: “This is the reason why you don’t cooperate with the psychologist’s therapy?”

I muttered to myself for a bit: “She told me to leave you.”

“Oh?”

I rubbed my hands and fawningly smiled at Yin Li  while explaining: “I can’t leave right now, right? A person like me who has this kind of injured and weak body, at such a unusual moment, I can’t be without money!” Then, with good intentions I added: “Therefore, you don’t need to constrain yourself because of my feelings and don’t bury your feelings for your girlfriend. Last time you made her sit in the car and wait. How horrible! Next time, bring her with you and we can play mahjong.”

Then I pondered for a while: “No good. Three missing one. How’s about bringing your boyfriend too?”

At the end of his patience, Yin Li closed his eyes and finally swung the door open and left.