Hard to Escape Chapter 5.3

"Yan Xiao, I called the newspaper and asked. The notice was put up by Mo Xing Zhi, and furthermore was personally written by him. The contact number is also his." Yin Li watched me as he spoke, making my whole body feel uncomfortable, as if he were a snake and I were the prey he was stalking.

"I don't know how you became acquainted with Mo Xing Zhi, but you have too much hostility for me. You'd rather trust a total stranger like Mo Xing Zhi."

I cursed Yin Li in my heart. Was there any difference between him and Mo Xing Zhi to an amnesiac like me? Weren't they both strangers to me? But I lacked the courage to say this aloud and instead said, "Don't you have a lot of work?1 I just didn't want to bother you! And I didn't expect Mo Xing Zhi to handle it so unreasonably."

1The original text uses the chengyu 日理万机, translating literally to “ten thousand matters a day”. It essentially means “to have a heavy workload” and comes from ancient times when some dude once remarked on the emperor having to handle lots of government affairs everyday.

"We truly were in love before and got engaged, but even then you never told me anything about your family. We agreed to respect each others privacy so I didn't ask you. I only waited for you to tell me yourself someday. After your unfortunate car accident, I exhausted all methods to get in contact with your family but had no luck." As Yin Li spoke, he watched me out of the corner of his eye with an inscrutable expression. "I will talk with the newspaper and negotiate with them to remove Mo Xing Zhi's ad. Yan Xiao, perhaps I shouldn't say it like this, but it's possible that your relatives have already pa.s.sed away. Also, one last thing: even if you don't remember, you are still my fiancée."

I felt a bit embarra.s.sed. "No way, no way, I'm not suitable enough for you. See, I don't have as much cla.s.s as your younger sister and as much beauty as Yan Ge. I'm not smart and don't have any amazing skills or talents that would attract you. You were definitely mistaken when you fell for me in the past."

Yin Li didn't have any objections to what I said, so I cleared my throat and continued, "To be honest, I also don't have any desire to waste your youth. Seeing that your affection for me has obviously dried up and my legs have recovered, in my opinion, you should just pay me some break-up fees and mental damages fees, that way we'll be even and can both go our own ways. As for me, I'll continue the search for my family members. They might even be overseas!"

At this, Yin Li smiled. "Yan Xiao, how do you know my affections for you have dried up?" Then he took my hand and firmly pressed it over his heart, "How do you know? Hmm? Was it like this?"

Due to this action of his, the distance between us decreased too much. I wasn't used to being so close to another person. It intruded on my personal s.p.a.ce. I felt suffocated by Yin Li's unmistakably male presence, and my hand that was pressed against his chest felt like it was on fire. I could distinctly feel the pulse of a heartbeat through my palm, but I couldn't tell if it came from my own body or from Yin Li's.

Just like that, Yin Li watched me. "Yan Xiao, you don't like hearing me talk about your past relations.h.i.+ps, so I'll respect you. I'll let you arrange things yourself and I'm willing to not interfere. But from the start, you disregarded me and instead, chose to get close to an outsider like Mo Xing Zhi without even thinking of relying on me; this is not being fair.

Yin Li's tone wasn't accusatory. Instead, he seemed like the Lord of Darkness who never displayed the weakness of a victim. He only gazed calmly at me, with a serene, inscrutable look in his eyes as if he really was dependable. It made you feel like you really had wronged him, and as if all his previous coldness was actually deep affection and akin to a favor from him.

I felt confused, I couldn't understand him.

"Yan Xiao, I know you need time to come to terms with everything, but I also need time. You're completely different from the past, now I too am completely unfamiliar with you."

After hearing Yin Li say these words, I finally understood the cause of my confusion from before. I pulled my hand away from his chest. "Since we're all strangers now, do we really need to shackle ourselves together, like sticking your own hand back in the handcuff?" I sighed, "I understand your feelings towards me, but…forgive me for being blunt, I'm afraid that there isn't much of a chance that I'll fall in love with you." Then I glanced at Yin Li out of the corner of my eye, "It's like this: for the current me, I prefer Mo Xing Zhi's type."

At this, Yin Li's expression finally lost its calm. "I never knew you liked the uncivilized type."

"Handsome body, full wallet, foolish mind. Don't you know that this type is currently the most in demand? Plus, you're too smart, I can't keep up with you. Yin Li, when the day comes that you no longer want me, I reckon that you'd sell me off and I'd still count the money for you.2" As I spoke, I took a brief look at Yin Li. He was even more handsome than Mo Xing Zhi, but on his stunning face there was always an excessively calm expression, making him seem really perceptive, but also making foolish people like me nervously want to keep a distance, to escape feeling controlled.

2A Chinese idiom that means, “you'll use me for your own purposes and, without even realizing what's happening, I'll even feel grateful to you”.

Yet Yin Li gave a light smile. "Then you guys are all the more ill-suited. In relations.h.i.+ps, it's better to be complementary. Since you say you're foolish, it's better not to be with a similarly foolish Mo Xing Zhi, I fear you two together would be surpa.s.singly foolish.

"That's right, I am foolish, I really can't understand why, if you're so determined to stay together. In all those gatherings or media appearances or interviews you're in, why doesn't your left hand have an engagement ring on it? I have also never heard any talk of you having a fiancee." I gazed at Yin Li and smiled.

I persevered, continuing to smile stupidly at Yin Li, until he furrowed his brow. "Yan Xiao, I was only protecting you. Announcing our engagement too early, wouldn't be good for you. I know doing this doesn't give you a peace of mind, but I always tried to think of other ways to rea.s.sure you.

Feeling that his words still weren't strong enough, Yin Li added, "I'm willing, as long as it increases your trust in me, to do anything."

I almost couldn't restrain myself from laughing. Yin Li, I was waiting for you to say this line.

"Isn't this a simple matter? Actually, with a position like yours, don't even mention an engagement. Even marriage is something that you might keep secret. Still, if you don't wear an engagement ring, a tattoo is okay too! You could tattoo my name or face or some other symbol of me in an inconspicuous spot on your body as proof of your love."

After these words, I finally saw cracks appear in Yin Li's carefully-maintained calm expression. Seeing the look on his face, I felt extremely pleased with myself. I suffered so many setbacks because of Yin Li, so on the rare occasions that I could get back at him, I felt extremely happy.3

3The original text uses 扬眉吐气, which is a chengyu meaning the happiness that one feels when one finally escapes a situation where one has been oppressed for a long time.

But surprisingly, after muttering darkly under his breath for a moment, Yin Li smiled again. "Will that rea.s.sure you? Then sure, I'll do it. Only, Yan Xiao, after this don't use your jokes to fool me again. Remember, you are Yin Li's fiancee, whether in the past, in the present, or in the future."

Yin Li's smile was extremely beautiful, even the corners of his eyes carried a trace of beauty. But as for me, there seemed to have been a loud explosion in my head, and I felt that I hadn't really caught him in an easy trap.4 Rather, I had dug my own grave.

4The original text uses 瓮中捉鳖, which literally means “to catch a turtle in a jar”. It's an idiom that means “to set an easy target for yourself”.

Author's Note:

Does everyone like Yin Li~~~ I very much love the Yin Li in this chapter ~ so pa.s.sionate so bloodthirsty so violent so dreamy…. Im so excited!!! *puts hands on hips and laughs* HAHAHAHA! Come and love me! Who says I'm not worthy of love~ Oh also, this chapter has 6000 characters!! It's two chapters in one!! It was originally supposed to be two but I lumped it together! Come flood me with comments!

Candle: Author da shen, I'm glad you're excited about 6000 characters but I really don't mind if you take it easy :')

Niang Niang: if Yin Li gets a tattoo of Yan Xiao's face, imma positively DIE