The Double Widowing Part 11

Widow To deceive me, to betray me. He wanted me to die--the cruel man--the traitor.

Lucy Oh, yes, more a traitor than the Countess. But, your husband also deserves your rage. First of all, because he is alive--and because he is unfaithful. But for fear that he may realize you are also unfaithful, feign, Madame, as I have told you.

Widow I tremble with fear that he suspects me. Perhaps, in my mourning, I innocently called on Desmond.

Lucy Innocently, of course. But now virtue and propriety insist, that in the batting of an eye, change your love into esteem. And, if your husband should eventually die, you may, in another bat of an eye, change your esteem into love.

Widow Your advice is so wise. I will follow it. And send Arabella a hundred leagues from here.

Lucy So. Let's go, embrace your husband as if nothing happened.

Widow It will be very hard to hide my anger.

(Enter Tuneless and Bramble.)

Lucy Here he is. Recall all the feelings you had on your wedding day.

Widow I do. I'm freezing. My blood is like ice.

Lucy It's conjugal tenderness thawing.

Tuneless Force yourself. Let no rancor show on your face.

Lucy Courage, Madame.

Tuneless Make an effort, sir.

Lucy Strength.

Tuneless Go on, now.

(Bramble and the Widow look at each other and run to embrace. As they hug, their faces show outraged grimaces.)

Bramble I see my dear wife again.

Widow And my equally dear husband!

(They embrace and separate several times, breathing like divers who surface for air, nauseated.)

Bramble Ecch!

Widow Ouf!

Bramble (turning to his wife with a joyful, but somehow tortured look) My joy is so great that it's frightful--ah-ecch!

Widow My delight is too much to bear--yuck!

Bramble Why is it that your joy appears troubled?

Widow Emotions of rage come over me--against the Countess. In making you believe I was dead, she exposed you to a possible seizure. You might have died.

Bramble You?--she would've enjoyed to make me die.

Widow Thank G.o.d's Mercy, you look--well. You appear healthy. I am furious with--that woman.

Bramble All this has merely redoubled my feelings for you. I can't really express them.

Widow I feel, also, that my love for you--I don't know how to say it. Huh-- how I hate the Countess.

Bramble This is like a renewal of the feelings I had for you when we first met.

Widow Yes. It's like a second honeymoon.

Tuneless A posthumous marriage.

Bramble A renewal of my love. Yes, I also wish to take these little precautions that will a.s.sure you are cared for properly when I die.

Widow I want you to survive me to enjoy my wealth. All that you deserve of it.

Bramble As, so as to no longer have to put up with the presence of anyone around me who might take something from you when I die, I've decided to send my nephew to the Indies.

Widow (with surprise and spite) And, for the same reason, I--I am going to marry Arabella a hundred leagues from here.

Bramble You tell me that with a little spite. It's innocently that I speak to you of separating from Desmond.

Widow And, I have nothing but pure good intentions in separating from Arabella.

(Enter the Countess's Maid.)

Maid Here is the Countess, coming to rejoice. We are going to sing and dance all night. It's not only for the three marriages I see on the agency, WE are ready for a wedding, you see.

Bramble What's that about three weddings?

Maid Yours first--for the Countess regards all this as a new marriage.

Widow She's right. But not one made in Heaven.

Bramble And the two others?

Maid Don't you know? Didn't you know the joke was to get money from you to marry Desmond in Wales. And you, Madame, understood, of course, that the money asked from you was to marry Arabella in Scotland. But, since you refused to give it, the Countess is bearing the expenses herself.

Widow (low, to Lucy) Desmond in Wales!

Lucy Keep a straight face--virtue.

Bramble Arabella in Scotland!

Tuneless Shut up, sir. Dissimulation.