Yasashī Shinjitsu to Seiryaku Kekkon Chapter 24

Yasashī s.h.i.+njitsu to Seiryaku Kekkon Vol II Chapter 24

h.e.l.lo all, sorry the that this had taken a bit longer than usual. I was ill with flu last week and it wasn't the kind I could sit through trying to translate. Then, I had to do my hair on the weekend so that was that. There isn't a finished pile waiting soz. I'll put them up as soon as I do them so there might be a few typos, bear with me.
 

T

he meeting with the Knight Order dragged. Leandroth came back very late.

‘Lean&h.e.l.lip;’she asked drowsily as she felt him squirrel into bed.

It was nice to have his arm around her pulling her closer to him. He placed soft kisses on her eyelids and lips as he pulled her leg over his hip, pulling up her night dress in the process.

He untied the ribbons holding her night dress together exposing her b.r.e.a.s.t.s to the night air. He immediately took a nipple into his mouth. As the pleasant sensations flowed through her, she wondered if he had been weaned properly.

She wondered if he was proud of his mother like she was of her father. But she did not want to say anything because he might get angry.

But she did not get the breast obsession: Was there milk? Was it delicious? (Zuben: You and me both)

His arm must get numb with her head on it. The human head is unexpectedly heavy. Maybe she should try alternating the arm she slept on, but she was usually asleep before she could think. Maybe she shouldn’t let him use his arm as a pillow for her head-

‘Ah&h.e.l.lip;’ she exclaimed as her back arched. His hand was now stroking between her thighs as he suckled her breast even harder.

‘Hey~, stop&h.e.l.lip;’

She pushed against his shoulder trying to get away. But he was strong. Would he stop if he knew it was morning? (Zuben: Is it morning, Mattie?)

‘Ahn,’

‘You smell so sweet,’

She was licked and enthralled, she could not resist. (Zuben: Why are you resisting? Aren’t we past that now?) She felt her strength leave her,

‘It’s useless&h.e.l.lip;’

‘Yes, it is&h.e.l.lip;it’s hard to stop&h.e.l.lip;’ he said, it was a rather pleasing comment it moved Matilda to tears.

‘Mattie&h.e.l.lip;’

Leandroth changed positions and pulled her on top of him, his arms wrapped around her. Matilda caught her breath,

‘Did Grandfather Bell say something weird to you yesterday?’

‘No? The Marquis is a very sweet and wonderful person.’

‘Did you eat anything weird? Somehow, you’ve become a crybaby, it is cute though.’ He said giving her a kiss on her head. 

‘I can’t seem to control my lachrymal glands.’ (Zuben: What is wrong with saying tear ducts?)

‘You don’t have to control yourself, you don’t have to force it&h.e.l.lip;Earlier this evening, it was a lot. My little brother was too happy since you initiated things,’ he said jokingly. Matilda laughed.

Although it looked like it was going to be a bright and refres.h.i.+ng morning, the way her tears were falling she was looking opposite.

‘Grandfather Bell said he’d help me if I didn’t want to marry you.’

‘What?!’ He shouted. Matilda laughed at his loud exclamation.

‘I told him I didn’t need it. This is a marriage I want. (Zuben: Then why are we still going on about it?) But it seems like, Grandfather Bell regrets not saving Orlatta in time.’

‘Really?’

‘I have never met Orlatta-sama, but hearing what happened really affected me,’

‘Yes&h.e.l.lip;’

‘I think that Bellmud-sama’s heart is weakened, working in the palace. Is it really impossible to release him from his duties?’

The ghost of his daughter would haunt him whenever he was in the Imperial Palace (Zuben: What is one more ghost?)

His heart would be filled with regret whenever he came to the Palace.

Yet, the time went on in the Palace, everything was changing, soon the memories of Orlatta would be overwritten.

‘Are you saying I should relieve him of his duties&h.e.l.lip;?’

‘Grandfather Bell became Prime Minister to help and protect Orlatta, but now she’s gone, don’t you think it is asking too much for him to continue? (Zuben: I don’t think Leandroth would be happy with this plan)

‘Yes, but&h.e.l.lip;’

‘If Grandfather Bell accepts, I would like him to go to Ice-Coretta and be teach them. Away from Barens.h.i.+aga, he can heal his heart. Later he can come home and teach our children&h.e.l.lip;’

‘Mattie, isn’t this the same as banishment?’ he said with a growl.

After her mother died, and her father married her aunt, the traces and memories of Matilda’s mother eventually faded away. She watched her father who had laughed next to her mother, laughing with his new wife (Zuben: Time heals all wounds. No one is truly forgotten as long as there are people to remember them, if not, too bad.)

It was very lonesome.

She thought that right now Bellmud-sama was feeling just as she did.

‘Well, he and I discussed it yesterday and well as that nephew person&h.e.l.lip;’

‘Yet, somehow I don’t think this is something that we should have been discussing this morning.’ He said

‘I forgot yesterday.’ She said sheepishly as she was reminded of her abominable behaviour. (Zuben: Hey, don’t ruin the time I liked you the most, despite the terrible seduction.)

‘I’m sorry&h.e.l.lip;’

‘For forgetting to tell me about this, or for seducing me?’

‘Both&h.e.l.lip;?’

‘Hey, I will get annoyed with you.’ He said tersely. She blinked.

‘I’m sorry,’

‘You don’t understand anything, do you? You have nothing to apologise for.’

(Zuben: Why the h.e.l.l is she apologising now? I get forgetting to tell him about sending Bellmud to Ice-Coretta but an apology for the seduction is just beating a dead horse, or is that just me?)

He pulled her into his arms,

‘I told you properly, right? You’re exquisite. To me, you’re the most perfect. You in my arms makes me want to swim a hundred laps around the moat. Remember I said that? Please believe in me, and don’t doubt my feelings for you. I know we are only just getting to know each other, and there are things that we have yet to discover about each other, but my love for you is not a lie.’

‘But, aren’t you angry?’

‘I am angry because, I tell you these things yet you forget.’ (Zuben: she was reciting her maids and ladies in waiting, her memory is puifect)

‘Why are you angry?’ (Zuben: You don’t hear word.)

Leandroth deeply sighed,

‘Because although you’re anxious, you seduced me, I was in ecstasy! Now this morning, you’re pulling away from me. I’m not angry, I am sulking.’ (Zuben: There there Lean, author-sama wrote a nincomp.o.o.p heroine.)

‘You’re sulking?’

She looked at Leandroth, he was pouting.

‘It’s over, I’m done!’

‘Done? What do you mean?’

What? (Zuben: It’s Matilda from chapter 1 – 4 everyone!)

‘I understand what Leann has said,’

If Leandroth did not want this marriage, she was through. She tried to push him away but she couldn’t. Her heart hurt. (Zuben: The only one hurting your heart is you, dear)

She started to cry.

Leann became fl.u.s.tered at her tears, (Zuben: It’s not cute now, is it?)

‘Mattie, why are you crying?’

‘Isn’t it because of you?’

Did he want to cancel the marriage? (Zuben: Is she about to be on her period? ‘Cos this irrationality smacks of fictional PMS)

If she returned home, was there even a place for her?

Maybe she would go back with Grandfather Bell, and find a nice homestead with an apple orchard in a remote province.

Although, she would be useless with hard work, she had to survive somehow. Could she do it?

‘Huh?’

Even crying was an inconvenience. She needed to stop crying and leave.

‘What a moment, Mattie, aren’t you misunderstanding something?’ (Zuben: What else is new here?)

‘You want to break up?’

When she didn’t answer right away but sniffed,

‘After everything?!’ Leandroth shouted.

‘Yes, I want to break up.’

Matilda said holding her body stiffly.

Until now, she’s never selfishly cried like this, because she had been told it was unbecoming of royalty.

She had been told it was foolish to wish, it was unseemly to be irritated; someone in power could not be selfish. She must be dignified and n.o.ble. That was the kind of Princess she had been brought up to be.

But she wanted to be in the warmth; warmth like a sunny day in winter.

Such warmth came from other people.

Just thinking about it, she wanted to regret, she wanted to leave this place and be lost (Zuben: How melodramatic.)

Surely, this was emotional instability. (Zuben: You’re popping like a volcano.)

Although, she’d only had her first love at the age of twenty-six, it seemed it would not come to fruition.

This was something that happened in stories. Now that she felt it in reality, she suddenly understood why the protagonists cried (Zuben: oh my G.o.ddess, this is so stupid!)

The tears will not stop falling.

‘No no&h.e.l.lip;’ Leandroth said franticly as he pulled her tightly against him and kissed her hard, robbing her of breath.

Why would you kiss someone you were breaking up with? (Zuben: Because you&h.e.l.lip;urgh!)

‘I mean to break up!’

‘Stop saying that! You keep saying that over and over. You have every right to choose the path you want, but why do you keep imagining the worst case scenario?’

She did not understand what he meant.

‘I want to marry you. Why would I break up with you when I don’t want to? I don’t understand your reasons.’ He pulled her tighter into his arms, putting her head in the crook of his neck.

She did not understand his actions

‘Why can’t you have more confidence in yourself? You’re the most beautiful and attractive woman.’

‘Isn’t that just a plat.i.tude? I am not beautiful.’

‘Do you doubt me?’

‘You’re lying, I don’t need compliments like that,’ she instinctively rejected it.

‘Mattie, please listen to me.’ Leandroth said irritated, ‘Reality should be recognised. You’re so stubborn.’

‘Yes, I am stubborn, inflexible, ugly, and weak. If I smile, they say I’m trying too hard. If I am quiet, they say I’m domineering. If I propose something, I am ignored. No one sees a royal as a person. They are not kneeling to me; they are kneeling to my crown. I am a terrible daughter, and I am going to be a terrible wife. I am an ugly woman with an ugly heart.’

(Zuben: This is all well and good, but shouldn’t this have been sorted at about Chp 10 – 18 somewhere? This just seems like a contrived point in the story to do this.)

‘Mattie, shut up!’

He rocked her in his arms.

‘Don’t think of yourself in such an ugly light.’

‘It’s the truth,’ she said quietly.

Back home in her palace, she had always been alone. There were maids and guards and knights but they were there but not by her side. It was work for them. Because she knew this, she had refused any attendants from home to come with her to Barens.h.i.+aga.

It seemed that there were some people that worried, but Matilda did not want to be a bother.

Yet, she hadn’t been strong enough to cry about it. (Zuben: Ookay)

Even though there were many people around, she’d always been lonely.

‘Aha!’ Leandroth said, as he stroked her back.

‘You’re afraid to trust me, to believe in me.’

She opened her eyes at his words.

‘It is scary to believe in someone, especially if you’re expecting them to betray you. So you think it is better not to believe in them from the start, that way you can take precautions. In my case, I am naturally suspicious of people.’

‘Eh?’

‘In your case, your acceptance of a person is just on the surface. Deep inside, if something happens, you choose the worst case scenario as defence.’

‘That’s not it&h.e.l.lip;’

‘You do it unconsciously. Everytime, I react to something, you over-react and a.s.sume the worst. That is why you wonder if I am angry when I am excited, you focus on my being angry. But if you think of the conversation before, you will understand that it is not the case.’

(Zuben: Sounds like self-grown trauma to me but hey&h.e.l.lip;)

She a.s.sumed the worst&h.e.l.lip;

Well, she did have a habit of imagining something was bad or disgusting on the spot.

‘It is only you that would automatically think, because I was annoyed, I would automatically want to break up. I am stunned by that flight of imagination.’

His voice was gentle and playful, but she could not see his expression because he held her close to him.

‘Even&h.e.l.lip;’

‘No not even&h.e.l.lip;At least you’re not boring.’ (Zuben: Just tiring)

Matilda felt exhausted, but she was held tightly.

‘Can you remember those people who said said those things about you?’

‘I can remember a few of them&h.e.l.lip;’

‘You don’t need to try too hard, but were they ugly?’

‘Eh?’

‘Making one’s self feel good by saying bad things about another, don’t they have a shallow face of dissipation?’

Thinking about it, one Marquis’ daughter who was supposed to be a childhood friend had a face like that.

She always complained when they met. Whether it was sunny or rainy, only words of derision came from her painted lips.

‘Maybe so,’

‘But the biggest thing is that, you’ve denied yourself and your feelings for too long. I thought you were an innocent, loved and well respected Princess, I am sorry. You’ve had a hard time, you must be tired.’ He said softly as he patted her back

‘Leann?’

He stroked and patted her back like he would a child.

‘So, you’re not used to receiving love. I finally understand. I couldn’t figure out why you won’t believe me, wasn’t I showing you how I felt about you enough? At least, now I know.’

Leandroth kept stroking her back convincingly.

‘Ah!’

‘What?’

‘I’m late for the morning meeting.’

Matilda burst out laughing.

‘Mattie, your laughing face is cute.’ He said dropping a quick peck on her cheek,

‘Eh?’

He pulled her to him and whispered in her ear, ‘I’m going to marry you,’ his voice resonated within her, sending s.h.i.+vers down her spine.

‘How about we plan a day away, just the two of us.’1

‘For now, we will go ahead with the wedding plans. I will think more about Grandfather. And we well have lunch with everyone today to discuss some matters. Alright?’

‘Hm.’

‘The only acceptable answer is “Yes”,’ he said taking a sweet bite of her nose. (Zuben: An old boyfriend did that; f.u.c.king painful, not sweet at all. I had tears of pain and annoyance in my eyes)

‘Yes,’

‘Good girl. I’m going.’

‘Have a good morning,’

Leandroth rose out of bed and left.

Matilda landed face down on the silken sheets.

Crying so much and talking about the things she thought she had buried deep in her heart. Though she was very tired, she felt&h.e.l.lip;lighter.

Yet, she didn’t believe Leandroth and he was unhappy about it.

She wanted to believe.

She really wanted to believe in him.

She finally wanted something so badly for the first time in her life.

Was he alright with her? She wanted to ask again, but he wasn’t here beside her.

She closed her eyes and she could see Leandroth with a playful expression on his face,

‘You are the one I chose,’2

She laughed softly.  

[1] and [2]: Not sure about these lines, very much subject to change.

Zuben:
 

 It’s wearing me down. I get where author-sama is coming from, but it felt so contrived after the last chapter. She wilfully forgets everything he says and does and she says and she does and jumps back into the mire of stupidity.

I know it's human nature to take too much of what others say about us on board. And it is not always a bad thing. But how much is said out of jealousy, spite or just plain malice?

The beginning of wisdom is to know thyself. Know yourself, so others can't break you with their words.

N.B. Mina-sama: If you write a comment, it won’t show right away ‘cos they are moderated. I check them morning and evening. Thank you x