Death Sutra Chapter 395

He did not wish for the divine skills to fly through the skies or travel across the earth or to be able to perform incredible feats or to be immortal . Once he thought about how much training monks and Taoists put themselves through, he firmly believed that even G.o.ds and deities themselves did not enjoy much freedom .

His concept was very simple - the more powerful person would always be the one with more freedom . Since there were only two types of people in his eyes - him and everyone else - his way of achieving freedom was to be more powerful than anyone and everyone in the world .

Despite the saying that there would always a mountain higher than this one, there had to be somebody who was the most powerful . From the first day Old Man Mu practiced kung fu, his goal was to be the strongest .

He had been hunted down by many kung fu masters, taken advantage of and nearly placed under house arrest by the New Moon Hall and dragged along like an animal by Shangguan Ru, but he did not view of those incidents as restrictions to his freedom .

He felt that there were only two restrictions to his freedom: the Golden Roc Fort and the Four Truths Temple .

When he was killing his master, he indignantly questioned the old man, "Why does the Yuqing Sect have so many secret techniques, yet no proper qigong cultivation method? Am I going to have no chance of making it in my entire life?"

His master s.h.i.+fu's throat was full of blood and he could not answer the question .

The Seven Rotation Skill had given him hope . Even though the demonic skill ravaged much of his body, it had improved his Internal Strength by leaps and bounds, stronger than when he had crossed, unimpeded, over the north of Tianshan .

It was because of this that he broke with tradition and went with Wildhorse to Jade City .

He met the Supreme King and immediately understood that he had come too late . Shangguan Fa had already tided over his period of self-destruction and his Internal Strength was even stronger as a result of his ordeal . Old Man Mu knew that he was no match for the Supreme King .

Old Man Mu's response to not being able to taste freedom was working willingly for the Supreme King .

The Supreme King thus became a small portion of 'the other people in this world' that was untouchable .

Now, the Wayless Qigong was right in front of him and the twins were fighting to give it away . Even though it was one chapter less than what the Supreme King had, Old Man Mu believed that he could overcome the loss of the eighth chapter with his natural ability .

He even had the Dajue Book of Swordcraft in his grasp . It was a peerless set of swordcraft, thought to have been lost over time, and both the Dragon King and Maid Lotus had relied on it to become top cla.s.s kung fu masters at such a young age . What was most splendid was that the Supreme King did not have the technique .

Old Man Mu looked hungrily at Shangguan Ru, wis.h.i.+ng that he could crack open her skull to see if the two sets of otherworldly skills were indeed hidden in her brain .

Shangguan Ru could see that Old Man Mu's interest was piqued . "Since you've taught me the Subtle Shadow Lightness Skills and Heart Stopping Finger, I'll now repay you with Wayless Qigong and the Dajue Book of Swordcraft," she said .

"That's fair, that's most fair," replied Old Man Mu, smiling . That said, he had not entirely been overcome with happiness at the opportunity being presented to him right then . "However, you have to prove that you really know the Dajue Book of Swordcraft . "

"I don't know it," replied Shangguan Ru . Old Man Mu's face grew grim as she finished speaking . She immediately added, "But I remember its entire text . "

"Since you remember it, why don't you practice it?"

"It's too cruel, and I don't wish to learn it . "

If it had been someone else who said that, Old Man Mu would not have believed him . But it was coming from the 'good lady', and he felt that there was a 70 to 80 percent possibility that she was telling the truth .

"Then recite a pa.s.sage for me to hear . "

Shangguan Ru did as he said, but she did not stop at one pa.s.sage, she recited at least three to four hundred words of the manual . However, Old Man Mu could not understand a single part of it, much less remember it . "What manner of trick is this?" he asked .

"The instructions to the swordcraft . "

Old Man Mu was bewildered and lifted his head to look at the similarly doubtful Shangguan Fei . "Have you heard it before?"

"No, Master Grandfather, I . . . "

"Shut up," ordered Old Man Mu roughly . With the arrival of the 'good lady', Shangguan Fei's value had taken a deep dive .

In reality, Shangguan Fei had actually seen this part of the text but had not heard it read out loud before .

The ending of the Death Scripture was similar to the beginning of the Wayless Qigong . They were introductions to the texts written in the language of the Western Region but marked with phonetic symbols in Central Plains Chinese . They described the link between both techniques and various points to take note of during practice and were independent of the texts themselves . As such, they could not be considered as part of the manuals .

This portion of the manuals could be read in many different ways, and Shangguan Fei had only seen the original texts . Naturally, he was unable to interpret the words his sister was chanting now .

"Recite it one more time," said Old Man Mu .

Shangguan Ru recited the last part of the manual again . She did it smoothly, evidently well versed in it .

Old Man Mu's trust towards her grew . "Is the Dajue Book of Swordcraft full of such words? How did the Dragon King and Maid Lotus manage to master it?"

"No, this is merely an incantation to focus one's attention on mastering the technique . I've not touched on the actual swordcraft itself . "

"Tell me now . "

"Release them first . "

Shangguan Fei fought to answer before Old Man Mu could . "Wait a minute, I didn't say I wanted to leave . I've already become your apprentice and acknowledged you as my grandfather . I will never leave your side from now on, not even by a single step, Master Grandfather . "

Old Man Mu looked as if he was touched by Shangguan Fei's words and patted the thigh of his 'good grandchild' . Then he leaped up suddenly and grabbed the young man by the scruff of his neck before walking out of the All Annihilating Formation, carefully avoiding the b.o.o.by traps . He tossed Shangguan Fei dozens of steps away from him before quickly returning to the center of the formation . "Get further away from me, foolish kid . I don't even want a real grandson, what more a fake and useless one like you?"

Shangguan Fei saw stars from his fall, and as his mind cleared, his dream of becoming King of the Land of Fragrance faded away as well . He scrambled to his feet and said, "Master Grandfather, don't fall for my sister's trick . She's lying to you . How could she know about the Dajue Book of Swordcraft? And she wouldn't give the Wayless Qigong up either . "

Old Man Mu was more willing to put his trust in Shangguan Ru . "From now on, if I ever hear you speak another word, I will chop you up into minced meat and mold it into meatb.a.l.l.s and hamburgers before feeding them to all the cats and dogs of the city as snacks . "

Shangguan Fei did not expect such abrupt hostility from Old Man Mu and feel silent . He glanced at his sister with hate-filled eyes before turning around and fleeing the forest .

"There's still one more left," said Shangguan Ru as she pointed toward the Blessed Child, who was still lying unconscious on the ground .

"I have to keep this one with me . Even though you are a good lady, there's no saying whether you would lie for the man you love . You have to give me both the Dajue Book of Swordcraft and Wayless Qigong before I let him go . "

"I can replace him . "

"You're too stubborn . If I can't get you to recite the manuals, wouldn't I stand to lose a lot?"

"I'll teach you the incantation for concentration first . Let him go . "

"No way, no way," replied Old Man Mu as he shook his head repeatedly .

Shangguan Ru remained silent as they remained in a stalemate . Old Man Mu was the first to concede . "Alright, alright, we'll do it your way . But you have to tell me first - what's the purpose of the incantation for concentration? Why do I have a feeling that what you recited was all gibberish?"

"You have steel your heart first before you can master swordcraft . The incantation allows one's heart to be firm and unmoved by whatever is happening on the outside . "

Old Man Mu lifted his head as he thought about the mannerisms of both the Dragon King and Maid Lotus . He felt that there was some logic in Shangguan Ru's words . "How do I steel my heart? I couldn't understand a single word of what you said . "

"There's no need to understand the words . The manual itself is hidden in the tones of the words . In the beginning, recite the incantation loudly . After you are used to it, you can practice silent reading . It works too . "

"It's that simple?"

"Yes . "

"Alright, I believe you . You are a good lady after all . Come in . "

Bits of flesh were scattered all over the ground before her, and blood was splattered all around the area . Shangguan Ru knew that once she had entered his formation, no one else could get her out of it . Old Man Mu was trying to test her by making her walk in on her own .

Old Man Mu observed her, amused, as he gave her instructions to walk into the formation without triggering the b.o.o.by traps . "Take seven steps forward - normal steps, not too big or too small - then take three steps to your right . After which, leap up by five feet and step on the tree branch . Reach your left hand forward and spring away by six steps . . . "

Shangguan Ru successfully made it into the formation under his guidance . She stood opposite him and lowered her gaze to the p.r.o.ne Blessed Child, feeling a little relieved to see that he was not dead .

"Since you're in my formation now, let me remind you," said Old Man Mu . His att.i.tude had taken a drastic turn - he was treating Shangguan Ru as a captive now . "I'm not only skilled in killing, I'm even better at torture . I admire you, but if I find out that you are playing a trick on me, you'd better think of a way to take your own life, because I'll make you suffer so much that you'll wish you were dead . "

Shangguan Ru was not her brother, Shangguan Fei . When facing the old man's threats, she did not cower in fear but lifted her head up defiantly . "Not everyone is like you," she retorted .

Old Man Mu patted his chest as he laughed . "That's good . I wouldn't be able to take it if everyone was the same as me," he said .

He then sized Shangguan Ru up, as if it were the first time he had seen her . It made her feel extremely uncomfortable . "You claimed to have never practiced the Dajue Book of Swordcraft before but say that I can learn the incantation for concentration using the tones of the words . Furthermore, you can remember its contents word for word . . . "

"The incantation is just a foundation . If one doesn't learn swordcraft, it's pointless to practice it . "

"There's some use in it even if the pract.i.tioner doesn't plan to learn swordcraft . Is your stubbornness a result of practicing the incantation?"

Shangguan Ru had no comeback for him and coughed once before beginning to recite the entire incantation .

It was extremely long, and Old Man Mu stopped her after she recited over a thousand words . "Wait, wait . It's all messed up and now I'm lost . How did you manage to memorize it?"

"If you read it every day, you'll memorize it gradually . You can start off by trying to memorize 500 words, and see how it works out . "

"Makes sense," replied Old Man Mu . He lifted his head and gave Shangguan Ru a glance . "It's going to be daybreak soon; we have to hurry up . If the Dragon King gets serious and sends hundreds of his minions to break my formation, I won't be able to handle them . "

The old man always claimed to be smart and as it turned out, it was not entirely an exaggeration . After only listening to the five hundred oddly-sounding words a few times, he unexpectedly could memorize all of them .

"You won't sneak up on me while I'm practicing, will you?"

"You don't have to specifically practice the incantation . In fact, you don't even have to think about it - all you have to do is to memorize it by heart . It won't affect your other activities . "

"That incredible?" Old Man Mu felt it was a little unbelievable . "Why didn't you present it to your dad? With it, I believe he would have forgiven all your transgressions . "

Shangguan Ru refused to reply him and Old Man Mu offered an explanation on her behalf . "A father who kills without mercy produces a girl without any killing desire . . . Sigh, having children can be so unpredictable . Luckily, I'm not dragged down by all that . "

Old Man Mu continued muttering to himself and began reciting the incantation that Shangguan Ru taught . He was still a little wary of her and thus diverted some of his attention in case she tried to move against him .

After repeating the 500 words a few times over, Old Man Mu realized he was starting to feel something . "Weird, it's really weird! Why do I . . . feel more frustrated the more I recite it? It seems as if I especially dislike the incantation . "

"It's always like this when someone starts to practice it . "

Shangguan Ru was also reciting the incantation herself, from beginning to the end . She did not make a single mistake until now and this further increased Old Man Mu's trust in her .

It would soon be dawn and Old Man Mu's current location was full of luscious vegetation, giving him all the cover from sunlight that he could possibly want .

The unconscious Blessed Child finally woke up . Shangguan Ru stopped reciting and stood in front of him, obscuring his view of the b.l.o.o.d.y surroundings . "Don't be afraid, you are safe now . Follow me out," she said .

She was like a fairy who had come down to earth to the boy . He was so moved that he kept nodding his head and got up to his feet before moving to stand at her side, away from Old Man Mu .

"Close your eyes," Shangguan Ru said as she took hold of his elbow, preparing to leave the formation .

Old Man Mu had been quiet as he observed Shangguan Ru, but he was puzzled now . "Where are you going?"

"To bring him out of the forest," she replied .

"I don't think I've agreed to let the hostage go!" said Old Man Mu . He was getting angry - he called the shots here and no one could come and go as he or she wished .

Shangguan Ru did not reply or stop . She took a step out according to Old Man Mu's previous instructions .

"Stop!" shouted Old Man Mu . He leaped out with one step, wanting to teach the 'good lady' a lesson .

However, he soon realized that something was not right; extremely wrong in fact . Shangguan Ru was using Subtle Shadow Lightness Skills and could easily avoid his attacks . "This is not possible!" he thought .

He was so shocked that his face lost color . He did not understand why he would hesitate at the very last moment when he attacked Shangguan Ru as if he could not bear to kill her .

He looked exactly like a starving lion that could not bear to hunt down a fat deer standing right in front of it, and it was beyond his imagination . . .

Old Man Mu had a unique definition of freedom . He did not wish for the divine skills to fly through the skies or travel across the earth or to be able to perform incredible feats or to be immortal . Once he thought about how much training monks and Taoists put themselves through, he firmly believed that even G.o.ds and deities themselves did not enjoy much freedom . His concept was very simple - the more powerful person would always be the one with more freedom . Since there were only two types of people in his eyes - him and everyone else - his way of achieving freedom was to be more powerful than anyone and everyone in the world . Despite the saying that there would always a mountain higher than this one, there had to be somebody who was the most powerful . From the first day Old Man Mu practiced kung fu, his goal was to be the strongest . He had been hunted down by many kung fu masters, taken advantage of and nearly placed under house arrest by the New Moon Hall and dragged along like an animal by Shangguan Ru, but he did not view of those incidents as restrictions to his freedom . He felt that there were only two restrictions to his freedom: the Golden Roc Fort and the Four Truths Temple . When he was killing his master, he indignantly questioned the old man, Why does the Yuqing Sect have so many secret techniques, yet no proper qigong cultivation method? Am I going to have no chance of making it in my entire life? His master s.h.i.+fus throat was full of blood and he could not answer the question . The Seven Rotation Skill had given him hope . Even though the demonic skill ravaged much of his body, it had improved his Internal Strength by leaps and bounds, stronger than when he had crossed, unimpeded, over the north of Tianshan . It was because of this that he broke with tradition and went with Wildhorse to Jade City . He met the Supreme King and immediately understood that he had come too late . Shangguan Fa had already tided over his period of self-destruction and his Internal Strength was even stronger as a result of his ordeal . Old Man Mu knew that he was no match for the Supreme King . Old Man Mus response to not being able to taste freedom was working willingly for the Supreme King . The Supreme King thus became a small portion of the other people in this world that was untouchable . Now, the Wayless Qigong was right in front of him and the twins were fighting to give it away . Even though it was one chapter less than what the Supreme King had, Old Man Mu believed that he could overcome the loss of the eighth chapter with his natural ability . He even had the Dajue Book of Swordcraft in his grasp . It was a peerless set of swordcraft, thought to have been lost over time, and both the Dragon King and Maid Lotus had relied on it to become top cla.s.s kung fu masters at such a young age . What was most splendid was that the Supreme King did not have the technique . Old Man Mu looked hungrily at Shangguan Ru, wis.h.i.+ng that he could crack open her skull to see if the two sets of otherworldly skills were indeed hidden in her brain . Shangguan Ru could see that Old Man Mus interest was piqued . Since youve taught me the Subtle Shadow Lightness Skills and Heart Stopping Finger, Ill now repay you with Wayless Qigong and the Dajue Book of Swordcraft, she said . Thats fair, thats most fair, replied Old Man Mu, smiling . That said, he had not entirely been overcome with happiness at the opportunity being presented to him right then . However, you have to prove that you really know the Dajue Book of Swordcraft . I dont know it, replied Shangguan Ru . Old Man Mus face grew grim as she finished speaking . She immediately added, But I remember its entire text . Since you remember it, why dont you practice it? Its too cruel, and I dont wish to learn it . If it had been someone else who said that, Old Man Mu would not have believed him . But it was coming from the good lady, and he felt that there was a 70 to 80 percent possibility that she was telling the truth . Then recite a pa.s.sage for me to hear . Shangguan Ru did as he said, but she did not stop at one pa.s.sage, she recited at least three to four hundred words of the manual . However, Old Man Mu could not understand a single part of it, much less remember it . What manner of trick is this? he asked . The instructions to the swordcraft . Old Man Mu was bewildered and lifted his head to look at the similarly doubtful Shangguan Fei . Have you heard it before? No, Master Grandfather, I . Shut up, ordered Old Man Mu roughly . With the arrival of the good lady, Shangguan Feis value had taken a deep dive . In reality, Shangguan Fei had actually seen this part of the text but had not heard it read out loud before . The ending of the Death Scripture was similar to the beginning of the Wayless Qigong . They were introductions to the texts written in the language of the Western Region but marked with phonetic symbols in Central Plains Chinese . They described the link between both techniques and various points to take note of during practice and were independent of the texts themselves . As such, they could not be considered as part of the manuals . This portion of the manuals could be read in many different ways, and Shangguan Fei had only seen the original texts . Naturally, he was unable to interpret the words his sister was chanting now . Recite it one more time, said Old Man Mu . Shangguan Ru recited the last part of the manual again . She did it smoothly, evidently well versed in it . Old Man Mus trust towards her grew . Is the Dajue Book of Swordcraft full of such words? How did the Dragon King and Maid Lotus manage to master it? No, this is merely an incantation to focus ones attention on mastering the technique . Ive not touched on the actual swordcraft itself . Tell me now . Release them first . Shangguan Fei fought to answer before Old Man Mu could . Wait a minute, I didnt say I wanted to leave . Ive already become your apprentice and acknowledged you as my grandfather . I will never leave your side from now on, not even by a single step, Master Grandfather . Old Man Mu looked as if he was touched by Shangguan Feis words and patted the thigh of his good grandchild . Then he leaped up suddenly and grabbed the young man by the scruff of his neck before walking out of the All Annihilating Formation, carefully avoiding the b.o.o.by traps . He tossed Shangguan Fei dozens of steps away from him before quickly returning to the center of the formation . Get further away from me, foolish kid . I dont even want a real grandson, what more a fake and useless one like you? Shangguan Fei saw stars from his fall, and as his mind cleared, his dream of becoming King of the Land of Fragrance faded away as well . He scrambled to his feet and said, Master Grandfather, dont fall for my sisters trick . Shes lying to you . How could she know about the Dajue Book of Swordcraft? And she wouldnt give the Wayless Qigong up either . Old Man Mu was more willing to put his trust in Shangguan Ru . From now on, if I ever hear you speak another word, I will chop you up into minced meat and mold it into meatb.a.l.l.s and hamburgers before feeding them to all the cats and dogs of the city as snacks . Shangguan Fei did not expect such abrupt hostility from Old Man Mu and feel silent . He glanced at his sister with hate-filled eyes before turning around and fleeing the forest . Theres still one more left, said Shangguan Ru as she pointed toward the Blessed Child, who was still lying unconscious on the ground . I have to keep this one with me . Even though you are a good lady, theres no saying whether you would lie for the man you love . You have to give me both the Dajue Book of Swordcraft and Wayless Qigong before I let him go . I can replace him . Youre too stubborn . If I cant get you to recite the manuals, wouldnt I stand to lose a lot? Ill teach you the incantation for concentration first . Let him go . No way, no way, replied Old Man Mu as he shook his head repeatedly . Shangguan Ru remained silent as they remained in a stalemate . Old Man Mu was the first to concede . Alright, alright, well do it your way . But you have to tell me first - whats the purpose of the incantation for concentration? Why do I have a feeling that what you recited was all gibberish? You have steel your heart first before you can master swordcraft . The incantation allows ones heart to be firm and unmoved by whatever is happening on the outside . Old Man Mu lifted his head as he thought about the mannerisms of both the Dragon King and Maid Lotus . He felt that there was some logic in Shangguan Rus words . How do I steel my heart? I couldnt understand a single word of what you said . Theres no need to understand the words . The manual itself is hidden in the tones of the words . In the beginning, recite the incantation loudly . After you are used to it, you can practice silent reading . It works too . Its that simple? Yes . Alright, I believe you . You are a good lady after all . Come in . Bits of flesh were scattered all over the ground before her, and blood was splattered all around the area . Shangguan Ru knew that once she had entered his formation, no one else could get her out of it . Old Man Mu was trying to test her by making her walk in on her own . Old Man Mu observed her, amused, as he gave her instructions to walk into the formation without triggering the b.o.o.by traps . Take seven steps forward - normal steps, not too big or too small - then take three steps to your right . After which, leap up by five feet and step on the tree branch . Reach your left hand forward and spring away by six steps . Shangguan Ru successfully made it into the formation under his guidance . She stood opposite him and lowered her gaze to the p.r.o.ne Blessed Child, feeling a little relieved to see that he was not dead . Since youre in my formation now, let me remind you, said Old Man Mu . His att.i.tude had taken a drastic turn - he was treating Shangguan Ru as a captive now . Im not only skilled in killing, Im even better at torture . I admire you, but if I find out that you are playing a trick on me, youd better think of a way to take your own life, because Ill make you suffer so much that youll wish you were dead . Shangguan Ru was not her brother, Shangguan Fei . When facing the old mans threats, she did not cower in fear but lifted her head up defiantly . Not everyone is like you, she retorted . Old Man Mu patted his chest as he laughed . Thats good . I wouldnt be able to take it if everyone was the same as me, he said . He then sized Shangguan Ru up, as if it were the first time he had seen her . It made her feel extremely uncomfortable . You claimed to have never practiced the Dajue Book of Swordcraft before but say that I can learn the incantation for concentration using the tones of the words . Furthermore, you can remember its contents word for word . The incantation is just a foundation . If one doesnt learn swordcraft, its pointless to practice it . Theres some use in it even if the pract.i.tioner doesnt plan to learn swordcraft . Is your stubbornness a result of practicing the incantation? Shangguan Ru had no comeback for him and coughed once before beginning to recite the entire incantation . It was extremely long, and Old Man Mu stopped her after she recited over a thousand words . Wait, wait . Its all messed up and now Im lost . How did you manage to memorize it? If you read it every day, youll memorize it gradually . You can start off by trying to memorize 500 words, and see how it works out . Makes sense, replied Old Man Mu . He lifted his head and gave Shangguan Ru a glance . Its going to be daybreak soon; we have to hurry up . If the Dragon King gets serious and sends hundreds of his minions to break my formation, I wont be able to handle them . The old man always claimed to be smart and as it turned out, it was not entirely an exaggeration . After only listening to the five hundred oddly-sounding words a few times, he unexpectedly could memorize all of them . You wont sneak up on me while Im practicing, will you? You dont have to specifically practice the incantation . In fact, you dont even have to think about it - all you have to do is to memorize it by heart . It wont affect your other activities . That incredible? Old Man Mu felt it was a little unbelievable . Why didnt you present it to your dad? With it, I believe he would have forgiven all your transgressions . Shangguan Ru refused to reply him and Old Man Mu offered an explanation on her behalf . A father who kills without mercy produces a girl without any killing desire . Sigh, having children can be so unpredictable . Luckily, Im not dragged down by all that . Old Man Mu continued muttering to himself and began reciting the incantation that Shangguan Ru taught . He was still a little wary of her and thus diverted some of his attention in case she tried to move against him . After repeating the 500 words a few times over, Old Man Mu realized he was starting to feel something . Weird, its really weird! Why do I . feel more frustrated the more I recite it? It seems as if I especially dislike the incantation . Its always like this when someone starts to practice it . Shangguan Ru was also reciting the incantation herself, from beginning to the end . She did not make a single mistake until now and this further increased Old Man Mus trust in her . It would soon be dawn and Old Man Mus current location was full of luscious vegetation, giving him all the cover from sunlight that he could possibly want . The unconscious Blessed Child finally woke up . Shangguan Ru stopped reciting and stood in front of him, obscuring his view of the b.l.o.o.d.y surroundings . Dont be afraid, you are safe now . Follow me out, she said . She was like a fairy who had come down to earth to the boy . He was so moved that he kept nodding his head and got up to his feet before moving to stand at her side, away from Old Man Mu . Close your eyes, Shangguan Ru said as she took hold of his elbow, preparing to leave the formation . Old Man Mu had been quiet as he observed Shangguan Ru, but he was puzzled now . Where are you going? To bring him out of the forest, she replied . I dont think Ive agreed to let the hostage go! said Old Man Mu . He was getting angry - he called the shots here and no one could come and go as he or she wished . Shangguan Ru did not reply or stop . She took a step out according to Old Man Mus previous instructions . Stop! shouted Old Man Mu . He leaped out with one step, wanting to teach the good lady a lesson . However, he soon realized that something was not right; extremely wrong in fact . Shangguan Ru was using Subtle Shadow Lightness Skills and could easily avoid his attacks . This is not possible! he thought . He was so shocked that his face lost color . He did not understand why he would hesitate at the very last moment when he attacked Shangguan Ru as if he could not bear to kill her . He looked exactly like a starving lion that could not bear to hunt down a fat deer standing right in front of it, and it was beyond his imagination .