Reflections of a Bachelor Girl Part 3

A MAN'S sweethearts are like his cigars; he has many of each of them, loves each one as tenderly as the preceding, and appreciates each according to its expensiveness.

A HUSBAND can always find fault with his wife, but, then, even archangels could pick flaws in one another if they had to drink coffee at the same table every morning.

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MATRIMONY is, like the weather, mighty uncertain, and the happiest people are those who are neither looking for storms nor banking on suns.h.i.+ne, but are just willing to go along sensibly and take what comes.

IT MAY mean nothing, but it's very mortifying to a woman when she takes her husband's dog for a walk and he tries to go into every corner saloon.

IT'S easier to hide your light under a bushel than to keep your shady side dark.

FUNNY how a married man who is trying to flirt with you always begins by telling you what a trying disposition his wife has.

IT'S harder to get around a husband without flattery than to get around Cape Horn without a compa.s.s.

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A MAN marries a girl for what she is, and then invariably tries to make her over into something else which he thinks she ought to be.

WHEN an ordinary man does not smoke, drink, nor swear, be careful to find out what worse folly it is that he is addicted to.

A MAN gets his sentiment for a woman so mixed up with the brand of perfume she uses that half the time he doesn't know which is which.

HUSBANDS are like the pictures in the anti-fat advertis.e.m.e.nts--so different before and after taking.

THERE are moments when the meanest of women may feel a sisterly sympathy for her husband's first wife.

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A WOMAN may have a great deal of difficulty getting married the first time, but after that it's easy, because where one man leads the others will follow like a flock of sheep.

THERE are so many ways of punis.h.i.+ng a refractory wife that the husband who cannot find one is either a timid, mawkish creature or--a gentleman.

WHEN a lawyer is slow about getting a pretty woman her divorce it is because he wants a chance to make love to her before she is in a position to start a breach of promise suit.

SOME men feel that the only thing they owe the woman who marries them is a grudge.

BLUE BEARD isn't the only bridegroom who ever went to the altar with a closet full of dead loves on his conscience.

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IT isn't what a man can see through the holes in a peek-a-boo waist that makes the garment attractive, but what he tries to see and can't.

A MAN who would turn up his nose at an overdone chop or an overdone biscuit will swallow an overdone compliment with the keenest relish.

TOBACCO and love and olives are all acquired tastes; your first smoke makes you sick, your first olive tastes bitter, and your first love affair makes you unhappy.

MOST men fancy that being married to a woman means merely seeing her in the mornings instead of in the evenings.

A REFORMED rake is like a made-over hat or made-over tea--he has lost his style and his flavor.

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A MAN is always advising his wife to wear common-sense shoes, but that isn't the kind he turns around in the street to stare after.

IT isn't the man who is willing to stay up late to talk to you, but the one who is willing to get up early to work for you, that you ought to waste your powder on.

WHEN a woman is pretty and married an optimistic man can always console himself with the thought that perhaps she is unhappy because her husband doesn't appreciate her.

MEN used to marry good cooks and flirt with chorus girls; now they marry chorus girls and hire good cooks.

IT'S an ill wind that teaches a man the value of hatpins.

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IF WE could all pay the price of matrimony in a lump sum it wouldn't be so bad; but paying it in daily instalments is what wearies us.

A MARRIED man soon learns enough not to let the barber put lilac water on his hair; it's wonderful how sharp they get about exciting suspicion.

LOVE always comes to a man as a surprise; he feels like a person who has been hit in the dark, and his one thought is for a means of escape.

IF THE average husband were half as attentive, solicitous and devoted as his coachman, there would be fewer scandals of the drawing-room-stable variety.

FLIRTING is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

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SOME men are such bunglers at love-making that they cannot make a sentimental remark without tripping over it, or take your hand or a kiss without making you feel as though they had taken your pocketbook.

THE average man's ideas of what a woman ought to be are as old-fas.h.i.+oned and set as two china vases on a parlor mantel.

IT takes a mighty dishonorable man not to lie to a woman about where he saw her husband the night before.

NEAR-LOVE-MAKING is the scientific masculine method of saying a great deal and promising nothing.

IT'S so hard to reform a man when he hasn't any great fault but just a little of all of them.

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A MAN who devotes his youth to ambition and cuts out love, finds out that he has been eating the bread of life without any jam on it.

IT'S so easy for a man to get engaged that he is always disagreeably surprised when he finds out how difficult it is to get disengaged.

A MAN b.u.t.tons a woman's dress up the back with almost the same grace and alacrity that a woman displays in climbing a barbed wire fence.

IT isn't Cupid, but cupidity, that is to blame for those unhappy international marriages.

A MAN is absolutely certain that a woman is perfectly proper when she refuses to kiss him because in his simple, childlike vanity he can't think of any other reason why she shouldn't want to.