Reflections of a Bachelor Girl Part 10

n.o.bODY scorns a woman for marrying money or a t.i.tle; what they scorn is the sort of thing she usually marries along with it.

THE woman whom a man idealizes is the one who keeps him guessing; who never lets him see how the wheels go round at her toilet table nor in her heart and head.

SOME men regard home as nothing but a "rest cure."

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TAXING bachelors only encourages them; a man always values anything more, even freedom, when he has to pay for it.

THERE is a time of the year when a man will pay thirty dollars for a Panama hat that makes him look like thirty cents, and thirty cents for a drink that makes him feel like a millionaire.

THE knots in the marriage tie which rub a man the wrong way are the "shalt nots"; those which chafe a woman are the "ought nots."

THE social swim at present appears to be a whirlpool, wherein a man gets soaked with either weak tea or c.o.c.ktails.

IN a man's opinion a kiss is an end that justifies any means.

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WHEN a man makes a woman his wife it's the highest compliment he can pay her--and usually it's the last.

THE happiest wife is not always the one who marries the best man, but the one who makes the best of the man she marries.

"WHO findeth a wife findeth a good thing," saith the Scriptures. Well, that's what most men are looking for nowadays.

IT isn't the big vague vows he makes at the altar which a man finds it so difficult to keep or to get around, but the little foolish promises he made before he ever got there.

IT IS as foolish to try to reform a man after he has lost his front hair as to try to tame a lion after he has gotten his second teeth.

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IT isn't the things a man says that proves he loves you, but the things he tries to say and can't--the things that choke right up in his throat and leave him sitting dumb and miserable on your parlor divan.

PHYSICIANS say the heart is an organ; but by the way some men manage to grind out the same old love songs over and over again it would seem to be more like a street piano.

ONE whiff of an onion will do more to kill love than the breaking of the ten commandments.

ALL a man demands of a woman is a knowledge of what she ought not to do, what she ought not to say and what she ought not to think. All a woman need know in order to wear a halo in her husband's eyes is how to keep it on straight.

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MARRIED men should make the most successful fiction writers, because it takes a highly developed imagination to invent a different story for one's wife every night.

DON'T marry a man merely because he can write nice long, soul-satisfying letters; wait until you find out if he can write equally nice long satisfactory checks.

ONE man's folly is often another man's wife.

THE woman who makes a man perfectly happy is the one who cares just enough to respond when he is interested and not enough to be interested when he doesn't respond.

MARRIAGE is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks so easy until you try it.

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A MARRIED woman is always impressionable, because she has become so used to a total abstinence from flattery that a compliment from a man goes to her head like wine to the head of the teetotaler.

REFINEMENT is what makes a man turn on his heel and go off to the club instead of staying at home and having a good, old-fas.h.i.+oned row with his wife.

THE man who keeps his sentiment bottled up and his money lying in the bank is so narrow that he wouldn't take a broad view of anything, even if he saw it on a bargain counter at half price.

THE biggest, boldest man that ever lived is built like a barge, and any little woman who puffs up steam enough can attach him to her and tow him all the way up the river of life.

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A MAN is always able to restrain his jealousy as long as his wife wears untrimmed cotton flannel lingerie.

TAKE a spoonful of violet perfume, a pound or so of lace, a dash of music, and serve under a summer moon--and almost any man will call it "love."

A WIFE always feels perfectly safe in going driving with her husband, because she knows by sad experience that he will devote both hands and all his attention to the horses.

A MAN whom wild horses cannot drag from the path of duty will sometimes get so tangled up in a pink ribbon that he will trip and fall right out of it.

KISSES are love's a.s.sets, quarrels its liabilities.

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BEAUTIES of the soul may be very fascinating, but somehow they aren't the kind a man looks for when he invites a girl out to dinner or for a spin in his automobile.

AN OLD maid is an unmarried woman who has more wrinkles than money.

There is nothing like a halo of gold dollars to keep a woman attractive to a green old age.

THE things for which there is "the devil to pay," are the only sort which most men seem to consider really worth the price.

AS a soul-companion, the main difference between a bulldog and a husband is that the dog can't talk--and the husband won't.

A MAN loves a woman first tenderly, then madly, then dearly, then comfortably, and last dutifully.

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SOME men are born for marriage, some achieve marriage; but all of them live in the deadly fear that marriage is going to be thrust upon them.

DISTANCE lends enchantment; but too much distance between husband and wife is sure to end by one or the other of them finding another "enchantment."

IN THE mathematics of matrimony two plus a baby equals a family; two plus a mother-in-law equals a mob; and two plus an affinity equals--a divorce.

IT IS something of a shock to the sweet girl graduate who has spent her youth in digging up the Latin roots, studying the Greek forms and acquiring a working knowledge of French, German and Hebrew, to discover that the only language her lover really appreciates is baby talk.

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