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"Oh, don't say that! Think of all the good he did for the island. Think of that frieze in the church! I have acres and acres of rooms to walk about in," she continued, addressing the bishop. "All by myself! I'm quite a hermit, you know. You will perhaps be able to have a cup of tea with me to-day?"
"Not exactly a hermit," Denis interposed.
"To take tea with the d.u.c.h.ess is an experience, a revelation," said Don Francesco in judicial tones. "I have enjoyed that meal in various parts of the world, but n.o.body can manage it like she can. She has the true gift. You will make tea for us in Paradise, dear lady. As to luncheon, let me tell you in confidence, Mr. Heard, that my friend Keith, whom you will meet sooner or later, has a most remarkable chef. What that man of Keith's cannot cook is not worth eating."
"How delightful!" replied the bishop, slightly embarra.s.sed. "And where," he added, laughing--"where does one dine?"
"I don not dine. Madame Steynlin used to give nice evening parties," he continued reflectively, and with a shad of sadness in his voice.
"Excellent little dinners! But she is so taken up with Russians just now; they quite monopolise her house. Down there; do you see, Mr.
Heard? That white villa by the sea, at the end of the promontory? She is so romantic. That is why she bought a house which n.o.body else would have bought at any price. That little place, all by itself--it fascinated her. Bitterly she regrets her choice. She has discovered the drawbacks of a promontory. My dear d.u.c.h.ess, never live on a promontory!
It has fearful inconveniences; you are overlooked by everybody. All the islands know what you do, and who visits you, and when, and why....
Yes, I remember those dinners with regret. Nowadays I must content myself with a miserable supper at home. The doctor has forbidden dinners. He says I am getting too fat."
Denis remarked:
"Your fat is your fortune, Don Francesco."
"My fortune, then, is a heavy load to bear. Mr. Keith tells me I have seven double chins, three behind and four in front. He says he has counted them carefully. He declares that an eighth is in course of formation. It is too much for a person of my austere temperament."
"You need never believe a word Keith says," said the d.u.c.h.ess. "He upsets me with his long words and his--his awful views. He really does."
"I tell him he is the Antichrist," observed Don Francesco, gravely shaking his head. "But we shall see! We shall catch him yet."
The d.u.c.h.ess had no idea what the Antichrist was, but she felt sure it was something not quite nice.
"If I thought he was anything like that, I would never ask him to my house again. The Antichrist! Ah, talk of angels--"
The person in question suddenly appeared, superintending half a dozen young gardeners who carried various consignments of plants wrapped up in straw which had arrived, presumably, by the steamer.
Mr. Keith was older than he looked--incredibly old, in fact, though n.o.body could bring himself to believe it; he was well preserved by means of a complicated system of life, the details of which, he used to declare, were not fit for publication. That was only his way of talking. He exaggerated so dreadfully. His face was clean-shaven, rosy, and of cherubic fulness; his eyes beamed owlishly through spectacles which n.o.body had ever seen him take off. But for those spectacles he might have pa.s.sed for a well-groomed baby in a soap-advertis.e.m.e.nt. He was supposed to sleep in them.
It looked as if Mr. Keith had taken an instantaneous liking to the bishop.
"Bampopo? Why, of course. I've been there. Years and years ago. Long before your time, I'm afraid. How is the place getting on? Better roads, no doubt. And better food, I hope? I was much interested in that little lake--you know? It seemed to have no outlet. We must talk it over. And I like those Bulanga people--fine fellows! You liked them too?
I'm glad to hear it. Such a lot of nonsense was talked about their depravity! If you have nothing better to do, come and lunch to-morrow, can you? Villa Khismet. Anybody will show you the way. You, Denis," he added, "you disappoint me. You look like a boy who is fond of flowers.
And yet you have never been to see my cannas, which are the finest in the kingdom, to say nothing of myself, who am also something of a flower. A carnivorous orchid, I fancy."
"A virgin lily," suggested Don Francesco.
"I wish I could manage to come," replied Mr. Heard. "But I must look for a cousin of mine to-morrow; Mrs. Meadows. Perhaps you know her?"
The priest said:
"We all know Mrs. Meadows. And we all like her. Unfortunately she lives far, far away; right up there," and he pointed vaguely towards the sirocco clouds. "In the Old Town, I mean. She dwells like a hermit, all alone. You can drive up there in a carriage, of course. It is a pity all these nice people live so far away. There is Count Caloveglia, for instance, whom I would like to see every day of my life. He talks better English than I do, the old humbug! He, too, is a hermit. But he will be down here to-morrow. He never misses the theatricals."
Everybody seems to be a hermit hereabouts, thought Mr. Heard. And yet this place is seething with people!
Aloud he said:
"So my cousin lives up in the fog. And does it always hang about like this?"
"Oh dear no!" replied the d.u.c.h.ess. "It goes away sometimes, in the afternoon. The sirocco, this year, has been most exceptional. Most exceptional! Don't you think so, Denis?"
"Really couldn't say, d.u.c.h.ess. You know I only arrived last week."
"Most exceptional! Don Francesco will bear me out."
"It blows," said the priest, "when the good G.o.d wishes it to blow. He has been wis.h.i.+ng pretty frequently of late."
"I am writing to your cousin," the d.u.c.h.ess remarked, "to ask her to my small annual gathering after the festival of Saint Dodeka.n.u.s.
To-morrow, you know. Quite an informal little affair. I may count on you, Bishop? You'll all come, won't you? You too, Mr. Keith. But no long words, remember! Nothing about reflexes and preternatural and things like that. And not a syllable about the Incarnation, please. It scares me. What's the name of her villa, Denis?"
"Mon Repos. Rather a commonplace name, I think--Mon Repos."
"It is," said Keith. "But there is nothing commonplace about the lady.
She iw what I would call a New Woman."
"Dear me!"
Mr. Heard was alarmed at this picture of his cousin. He did not altogether approve of New Women.
"She has long ago pa.s.sed the stage you have in mind, Bishop. She is newer than that. The real novelty! Looks after the baby, and thinks of her husband in India. I believe I have many points in common with the New Woman. I often think of people in India."
"Such a dear little child," said the d.u.c.h.ess.
"Almost as round as myself," added Don Francesco. "There goes the Commissioner! He is fussing about with the judge, that red-haired man--do you see, Mr. Heard?--who limps like Mephistopheles and spits continually. They say he wants to imprison all the Russians. Poor folks! They ought to be sent home; they don't belong here. He is looking at us now. Ha, the animal! He has the Evil Eye. He is also scrofulous, rachitic. And his name is Malipizzo."
"What a funny name," remarked the Bishop.
"Yes, and he is a funny animal. They are great friends, those two."
"A horrible man, that judge," said the d.u.c.h.ess. "Only think, Mr. Heard, an atheist."
"A freemason," corrected Mr. Keith.
"It's the same thing. And ugly! n.o.body has a right to be quite so ugly.
I declare he's worse than the cinematographic villain--you remember, Denis?"
"It is a miracle he has lived so long, with that face," added Don Francesco. "I think G.o.d created him in order that mankind should have some idea of the meaning of the word 'grotesque.'"
The proud t.i.tle "Commissioner" caused the bishop to pay particular attention to the other of the two individuals in question. He beheld a stumpy and pompous-looking personage, flushed in the face, with a moth-eaten grey beard and s.h.i.+fty grey eyes, clothed in a flannel s.h.i.+rt, tweed knickerbockers, brown stockings, white spats and shoes. Such was the Commissioner's invariable get-up, save that in winter he wore a cap instead of a panama. He was smoking a briar pipe and looking blatantly British, as if he had just spent an unwashed night in a third-cla.s.s carriage between King's Cross and Aberdeen. The magistrate, on the other hand--the red-haired man--was jauntily dressed, with a straw hat on one side of his repulsive head, and plenty of starch about him.
"I never knew we had a Commissioner here," said Mr. Heard.
Keith replied:
"We haven't. He is Financial Commissioner for Nicaragua. An incomparable a.s.s is Mr. Freddy Parker."
"Oh, he has a sensible idea now and then, when he forgets to be a fool," observed Don Francesco. "He is President of the Club, Mr. Heard.