The American Gentleman's Guide to Politeness and Fashion Part 24

"Oh, pa!" protested the sweet girl, "but what excuse shall I make to Mr.

Blakeman?"

"Tell him, in terms, that your father does not permit you to go anywhere, alone, with a young man with whom he has no acquaintance--Lunettes, you're not going?" rising as he spoke.

"It is high time--my carriage must be waiting. Miss f.a.n.n.y, permit me the privilege of an old friend,"--kissing her glowing cheek--and, as she skipped out into the hall with her father and me, I whispered--"About this young Bostonian? Is it all over with him?"

"What, Hal--jealous?" exclaimed her father, laughing--"do you fear the flight of our gazelle, here?"

"No danger of my eloping! No, indeed! at least with any one except--_Colonel Lunettes_!" replied the charming little witch, as her nimble fingers fastened my wrappings.

"Bravo!" cried her father; "that would be glorious! Seventeen and"----

"Eighty-two," interrupted your old uncle; "May and December! But, happily for me, fair f.a.n.n.y, _my heart_ can never grow old while I have the happiness of knowing you."

I hope none of you will ever, even when writing in a foreign language, fall into the mistake made by a young Pole, with whom I once had a slight acquaintance. He was paying his addresses to a young lady, and, while most a.s.siduously making his court to the fair object of his pa.s.sion, was temporarily separated from her, by her leaving home on a pleasure excursion. At the first stopping-place of her party, the lady found a letter awaiting her, written in the neatest manner, and in excellent English--which her lover _spoke_ in a _very_ imperfect manner.

It appeared to the recipient of this complimentary effusion, however, at the first glance, that its contents were not especially relevant to the occasion of a first _billet-doux_ from her admirer. Reading it more deliberately, something familiar in the language struck her suddenly, and after pondering a moment, she turned over the leaves of a new book which was among the literary stores of our travelling-party, and soon came to the exact counterpart of pa.s.sage after pa.s.sage, as recorded in the letter of the gallant Pole!

The volume was, I think, "Hannah More's Memoirs," which had probably been recommended to the young student of our language by his teacher, or some friend, as containing good _specimens of the epistolary style_!

With the hope that you may all escape being the subjects of such merriment as was occasioned by the discovery of my fair friend, I remain, as ever,

Affectionately yours, HARRY LUNETTES.

LETTER IX.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

MY DEAR NEPHEWS:

Though accomplishments are a very poor subst.i.tute for the more substantial portions of a thorough education, no one should be so indifferent to the embellishments of life as wholly to neglect their cultivation.

With Europeans some attention to this subject always makes part of a thorough education, but among a _new people_, differing so essentially from the nations of the Old World in social habits, the leisure and inclination that induce such a system of early discipline are both still wanting--speaking generally. It is not the lack of wealth--of that we have enough--but of a cultivated, discriminating taste, the growth of time and favoring circ.u.mstances, which is not yet diffused among us.

But, though our young men, even of the more favored cla.s.s, do not enjoy the carefully-elaborated system of early training, common abroad, personal effort will produce a result similar in effect, if well-directed and steadfastly pursued, and the best of all knowledge--that most beneficial in its influence upon character--is acquired by unaided individual exertion. Young Americans, above the men of all other countries, should lack no incentive to add, as occasion may permit, tasteful polish to the more essential solidity of mental acquirements.

I know of nothing better calculated to foster refinement and purity of life than the cultivation of a _Taste_ for the _Fine Arts_. I do not refer to a _dillettante_ affectation of familiarity with the technicalities of artistic language, or to fas.h.i.+onable pretension and an a.s.sumption of connoisseurs.h.i.+p, but to honest, manly, aesthetical perceptions, quickened and elevated by familiarity with the true principles of Art, and by the study of the highest productions of genius.

Some knowledge of the practice, as well as of the principles of _drawing_, is a very agreeable and useful accomplishment, and one that may be acquired with little or no instruction, save that to be obtained from books.

Among the advantages collaterally arising from familiarity with this art, is the increased quickness and enjoyment it lends to a _discernment of the beautiful_ in nature, both in its minute manifestations and its grand developments. A fondness for _sketching_ leads, also, to a partiality for rural excursions, and for the physical sciences; and all those tastes where the main purposes of life permit their indulgence, serve to elevate, refine, and expand the higher faculties, to give them habitual dominion over the propensities and to restrain sensuous enjoyments within their legitimate limits.

_A Taste for Music_ must, of course, be ranked among the elegances of social life, but it should not be forgotten that a _practical knowledge_ of any one branch of this Art has no direct effect to enlarge the mind, like that of Painting, for instance. It is only a sensuous pleasure, though a refined one, and is, as I have had frequent occasion to remark, too frequently permitted to engross both time and faculties that should properly be, in part, at least, more diffusively employed. Musical skill, though a pleasant acquirement, is not a sufficient subst.i.tute for an acquaintance with general Literature and Art; nor will its most exquisite exhibitions always furnish an equivalent for intellectual pleasures, whether of a personal or social nature.

_Dancing_ should be early learned, not only because, like musical knowledge, it is a source of social and domestic enjoyment, but as materially a.s.sisting in the acquirement of an easy and graceful carriage and manner. It is a good antidote, too, to _mauvaise honte_, and almost essential among the minor accomplishments of a man of the world.

_Riding_ and _Driving_ should never be neglected by those who possess the means of becoming familiar with them. Convenience, health and pleasure combine to recommend both. No indulgence of the _pride of skill_, however, should be permitted to exalt these accessories of a polite education into the main business of life, as I believe I have before reminded you.

The _broadsword exercise_, _pistol-shooting_, _athletic sports and games_, _sporting_, _gymnastic exercises_, etc., etc., may be ranked among the minor manly accomplishments with which it is desirable to be familiar.

Of no small importance, and of no insignificant rank as an accomplishment, is a _ready and graceful elocution_. Possessed by professional men, its value can scarcely be overrated, and no young man, whatever his aims in life, should esteem it unworthy of attention, since private as well as public life afford constant occasion for its exercise. To read _intelligibly_, _audibly_, and _agreeably_, to speak with taste and elegance, to address an audience--whether a ma.s.s a.s.semblage of the sovereign people, or the servants of the people, in Congress a.s.sembled, or an intelligent audience gathered for intellectual instruction and enjoyment, each require careful and persevering practice, critical discrimination and disciplined taste. And what young American--with that control of circ.u.mstances which especially distinguishes us from all other peoples, with the high aspirations and purposes to which all are equally ent.i.tled--shall say that he will not have the most urgent occasion for, and derive high advantage from the acquisition of the _Art of Elocution_? But, apart from considerations of utility, correct speaking and writing are indispensable requisites to the privileges of good society, and elegant polish in this respect is the desirable result and certain indication of natural refinement.

I will only add that elocutionary skill always affords the possessor the means of promoting social and domestic enjoyment, and that the finest sentiments and the most eloquent language lose half their proper effect when uttered in a mumbling or muttering tone, as well as in too loud or too low a voice.

Closely allied to the accomplishment of which we have been speaking, is that of _Conversational ease and elegance_, an art in which all other nations are excelled by the French, and in which we, perhaps, most successfully emulate them.

Unfortunately for our social advancement in this respect,

"_The well of English undefiled_"

is not the only source from which the _vehicle of thought_ is derived.

The use of slang phrases, of crack words, even among the better educated cla.s.ses of society--and that in writing as well as in conversation--is becoming noticeably prevalent. Nothing can be more detrimental to the advancement of those who desire to acquire colloquial polish than the habit of using this inelegant language, and there is nothing into which one may glide more insensibly, when it becomes familiar from a.s.sociation.

You will, perhaps, say that the amus.e.m.e.nt afforded to others by the occasional adoption of these mirth-provoking vulgarisms affords an apology for their use; and that would be a legitimate excuse, did the matter end there. But who can hope successfully to establish the line of demarcation that shall separate the legitimate sphere of their applicability from that in which they cannot properly claim a place? We know how much we are all under the dominion of _habit_ in regard to the artificial observances of life, and that once established, any practice in which we indulge ourselves may manifest itself unconsciously to us.

Hence, then, it is no more safe to acquire the habit of interlarding our discourse with inelegances of expression, ungrammatical language, Yankeeisms, _localisms_ (to coin a word if it be not one, more expressive here than _provincialisms_) or vulgarisms of any kind, than to permit ourselves the perpetration of other solecisms in good-breeding, with the protection only of a _mental limitation_ to their undue encroachment upon our claims to refined a.s.sociations.

There is, therefore, no safe rule, except that dictating the unvarying adoption of the _purest and most expressive idiomatic English_ we can command. I remember to have heard it said of a celebrated conversationist, whom I knew in my younger days, that he not only always used a _good_ word to express his meaning, but the _very best_ word afforded by our language.

The habit of _thinking clearly_ might naturally be supposed to produce the power of conveying ideas to others with distinctness, were not the impression controverted by much evidence to the contrary. I must believe, however, that the difference between persons, in this respect, arises more frequently from want of attention to the subject, than from all other causes combined. I know of no other way of sufficiently explaining the awkward, slipshod, unsatisfactory mode of talking so common even among educated people. Were we accustomed to regarding conversational pleasures as among the highest enjoyments of existence, and of making them a part of our daily life--as the French of all ranks do--a vast difference would exist between what is, and what might be.

With what intensity of interest, with what vivacity of manner do the polite and cultivated French _talk_! The _salons_ of the leaders of _ton_ in Paris are nightly filled with the literati, the artists, the soldiers and statesmen concentered in that brilliant capitol. And they a.s.semble not to eat, not even to dance, to the exclusion of all other gratifications, but to _talk_--to exchange ideas upon topics and incidents of pa.s.sing interest--to receive and to communicate instruction, as well as enjoyment. And even the common people--whether eating their frugal evening repast at a little table placed in the street, or seated in groups in the garden of the Tuileries--how they talk! with what _abandon_--to use their own word--with what geniality, with what sprightliness! The very children, sporting like so many birds of gorgeous plumage, and musical tones, in the public gardens and promenades, prattle of matters interesting to them, with a graceful vivacity nowhere else to be seen. All cla.s.ses give _themselves up to it--take time for it_, as one of the necessities of daily life! But I should apologize for this digression.

The advantage of _habitual practice_, then, cannot be too highly commended to those who would acquire colloquial skill. There is, also, no better mode of fastening knowledge in the mind than by accustoming one's self to clothing ideas in spoken language, and the mere attempt to do so, gives distinctness to thought.

But while fluency and ease are the results of practice, the _embellishments_ of _conversation_ require careful culture. Wit, Humor, Repartee, though to some extent natural gifts, may undoubtedly be improved, if not attained, by artificial training.

It is said that Sheridan, one of the most celebrated wits and conversationists of his day, prepared himself for convivial occasions, like an intellectual gladiator, ready to enter the lists in a valiant struggle for supremacy. He may be said to have made Conversation a _Profession_, to which he gave his whole attention, as did the celebrated youth who exceeded all his fellows in the tie of his neck-cloth, to that mysterious art!

Sheridan's practice was, to make brief notes, before going into society, of appropriate topics and witticisms for each occasion, upon which he relied for sustaining his reputation as a boon companion and accomplished talker. There is a good story told of his being exceedingly nonplussed, on some important occasion, by having his memoranda purloined by a friend, who, while waiting to accompany the wit to an entertainment to which both were invited, stole his thunder from his dressing-table, where it had been placed in readiness. The unlucky literary Boanerges was as powerless as Jupiter robbed of his bolts!

But if one would not desire preparation as elaborately artificial as that ascribed to this spoiled fondling of English aristocracy, there seems to be a propriety in making some mental, as well as external arrangements before entering society. Thus, pa.s.singly to reflect, while making one's toilet for such an occasion, upon the general character of the company one is to meet, and upon the subjects most appropriate for conversation with those with whom one will probably be individually a.s.sociated, may not be amiss. Nor will it be unwise to recall such reminiscences of personal adventures, popular intelligence, etc., as the day may have furnished.

Happily, however, for those who distrust their power to surprise by erudition, or delight by wit, _good-sense_, accompanied by _good-humor_ and _courtesy_, render their possessors the most enduringly agreeable of social and domestic companions. The _favorites of society_ are usually those who wound no one's self-love, either by imposing upon others a painful sense of inferiority, or by rudeness, impertinence, or a.s.sumption. Few have sufficient magnanimity to _forgive superiority_, but good-nature and politeness need no excuse with any.

"Oh, let the ungentle spirit learn from hence, _A small unkindness is a great offence_!

_All may shun the guilt of giving pain._"

Wit, however racy, should never find a place in conversation when pointed at the expense of another, and, indeed, _personalities_, even when free from condemnation on this score, are usually in bad taste.

People of sensibility and refinement are much more likely to be annoyed than gratified by being made the auditors of conversation, even when politely intended, which brings them into especial notice.