The Life and Death of Doctor Faustus Made into a Farce Part 5

_Fau._ Nor will I henceforth pardon him for this, And _Faustus_ Vows never to look to Heav'n.

_Beel._ So shalt thou shew thy self a faithful Servant, And we will highly gratify thee for it.

_Fau._ Those Words delight my Soul.

_Luc._ _Faustus_, we are come in Person to shew thee Pa.s.stime; sit down, and thou shalt behold the Seven Deadly Sins in their own proper Shapes and Likeness.

_Fau._ That Sight will be as pleasant to my Eye, as Paradise to _Adam_ the first Day of his Creation.

_Beel._ Talk not of Paradise, but mind the Show. Go, _Mephostopholis_, and fetch 'em in; and, _Faustus_, question 'em their Names. _Enter Pride._

_Fau._ What art thou?

_Prid._ I am _Pride_; I was begot by Disdain and Affectation. I always took the Wall of my Betters; had ever the first Cut, or else would not eat: I scorn'd all Advice, never thought any one handsom but my self; had the best Pue in the Church, though a Tradesman's Wife; and at last dyed of the Spleen, for want of a Coach and Six Horses. Why is not thy Room perfum'd, and spread with Cloth of _Tissue_? What must you sit, and I stand? Rise up Brute.

_Fau._ Go, thou art a proud s.l.u.t indeed. [_Exit._

_Enter_ Covetousness.

Now what art thou the Second.

_Cov._ I am _Covetousness_; I was begot by a close Fist, and a griping Heart, in a Usurer's Chest. I never eat, to save Charges: This Coat has cover'd me for Fourscore Winters: This Beard has seen as many more. I never slept in my Life, but always watch'd my Gold.

_Fau._ What wert thou on Earth?

_Cov._ I was first an Exciseman, and cheated the King and Country; then I was a Baker, and from every Neighbor's Loaf I stole Two Pound, and swore 'twas shrunk in the Oven. I was a Vintner, and by bribing of Quest-men had leave to sell in Pint Bottles for Quarts: At last I was a Horse-courser, made _Smithfield_ too hot to hold me, and rid Post to the Devil? Give me some Gold, Father? [_Exit._

_Enter_ Envy.

_Fau._ What art thou the Third?

_Env._ I am _Envy_; begot by a Chimny-sweeper upon an Oyster-wench. I cannot read, and wish all Books burnt. I always curst the Government that I was not prefer'd; and was a Male-content in Three Kings Reigns. I am Lean with seeing others Eat; and I wish the Devil would make a Sponge of thy Heart, to wipe out the Score of my Sins.

_Enter_ Wrath.

_Fau._ Out, Envious Wretch. What art thou the Fourth?

_Wra._ I am _Wrath_; I had neither Father nor Mother, but leap'd out of a Lion's Mouth when I was scarce an Hour old. I always abhor'd the Art of Patience, and curst all Fisher-men. I beat my Wife for my Pleasure; curst Heav'n in my Pa.s.sion, 'cause it gave me no Fortune, and was hang'd for a Rape on a _Scotch_ Pedlar. [_Exit._

_Enter_ Gluttony.

_Fau._ What art thou the Fifth?

_Glut._ I am _Gluttony_; begot by a Plow-man on a Washer-woman, who devour'd a _Chedder_ Cheese in two Hours. I am of a Royal Pedigree: My Grand-father was a Sur-loin of Beef, and my Mother a Gammon of Bacon: My Sisters were Sows, which supply'd me with Pork: My Brothers were Calves, which afforded me Veal: My G.o.d-fathers were _Peter_ Pickled-Herring, and _Michael_ Milk-Porredg: My G.o.d-mothers were _Susan_ Salt-b.u.t.ter, and _Margery_ Sous'd-Hog's-Face. Now, _Faustus_, thou hast heard my Pedigree, wilt thou invite me to Supper?

_Fau._ Not I.

_Glut._ Then the Devil choak thee.

_Enter_ Sloth.

_Fau._ What art thou the Sixth?

_Slo._ Hey ho! I am _Sloth_; I was begotten at Church by a sleepy Judg on a Costermonger's Wife, in the middle of a long Sermon. I am as Lazy as a Fishmonger in the Dog-days, or a Parson in _Lent_: I would not speak another Word for a King's Ransom.

_Enter_ Leachery.

_Fau._ And what are you, Mr. _Minks_, the Seventh and last?

_Leach._ I am one that love an Inch of Raw Mutton better than an Ell of Fry'd Stock-fish, and the first Letter of my Name begins with _Leachery_. [_Exit._

_Fau._ This Sight delights my Soul.

_Luc._ _Faustus_ in h.e.l.l are all manner of Delights.

_Fau._ O might I see h.e.l.l once, and return safe.

_Luc.__ Faustus_, thou shalt; give me thy hand. Hence let's descend, and we will _Faustus_ show The mighty Pleasures in the World below.

[_Vanishes._

SCENE _Changes_.

_Enter_ Harlequin, _and_ Scaramouche _in the Doctor's Gown; a Wand, and a Circle_.

_Scar._ So, now am I in my _Pontificalibus_: Now can I shew my Black Art; for I have found that heavenly Book which _Faustus_ used to raise the Dead in: Come, stand within this Circle.

_Har._ 'Tis time to Conjure, for I am almost famish'd. We have fasted like Priests for a Miracle.

_Scar._ I'll make thee amends presently; I'll conjure up a Spirit, ask what thou wilt thou shalt have it.

_Har._ Let me alone for asking.

_Scar._ Be very earnest with him, and intreat mightily.

_Har._ I'll intreat Earnestly.

_Scar._ Silence. _Sint mihi Dii Acherontis propitii n.o.bis Diccatus Mephostopholis, &c._

Mephostopholis _rises_.

_Meph._ How am I tortur'd by these Villains Charms?

From _Constantinople_ have they brought me now, Only for Measure of these idle Slaves? What Would you with _Mephostopholis_?

_Scar._ Wee'd know how Dr. _Faustus_ does.

_Meph._ Well.