Roister Doister Part 18

+R. Royster.+ Nay see and these whooreson Phariseys and Scribes Doe not get their liuyng by polling and bribes.

If it were not for shame.

+Scriuener.+ Nay holde thy hands still.

+M. Mery.+ Why did ye not promise that ye would not him spill?

+Scriuener.+ Let him not spare me.

+R. Royster.+ Why wilt thou strike me again?

+Scriuener.+ Ye shall haue as good as ye bring of me that is plaine.

+M. Mery.+ I can not blame him sir, though your blowes wold him greue.

For he knoweth present death to ensue of all ye geue.

+R. Royster.+ Well, this man for once hath purchased thy pardon.

+Scriuener.+ And what say ye to me? or else I will be gon.

+R. Royster.+ I say the letter thou madest me was not good.

+Scriuener.+ Then did ye wrong copy it of likelyhood.

+R. Royster.+ Yes, out of thy copy worde for worde I wrote.

+Scriuener.+ Then was it as ye prayed to haue it I wote, But in reading and pointyng there was made some faulte.

+R. Royster.+ I wote not, but it made all my matter to haulte.

+Scriuener.+ Howe say you, is this mine originall or no?

+R. Royster.+ The selfe same that I wrote out of, so mote I go.

+Scriuener.+ Loke you on your owne fist, and I will looke on this, And let this man be iudge whether I reade amisse.

To myne owne dere coney birde, sweete heart, and Good mistresse Custance, present these by and by.

How now? doth not this superscription agree?

+R. Royster.+ Reade that is within, and there ye shall the fault see.

+Scriuener.+ Sweete mistresse, where as I loue you, nothing at all Regarding your richesse and substance: chiefe of all For your personage, beautie, demeanour and witte I commende me vnto you: Neuer a whitte Sory to heare reporte of your good welfare.

For (as I heare say) suche your conditions are, That ye be worthie fauour: Of no liuing man To be abhorred: of euery honest man To be taken for a woman enclined to vice Nothing at all: to vertue giuing hir due price.

Wherfore concerning mariage, ye are thought Suche a fine Paragon, as nere honest man bought.

And nowe by these presents I doe you aduertise, That I am minded to marrie you: In no wyse For your goodes and substance: I can be content To take you as you are: yf ye will be my wife, Ye shall be a.s.sured for the time of my life, I wyll keepe you right well: from good raiment and fare, Ye shall not be kept: but in sorowe and care Ye shall in no wyse lyue: at your owne libertie, Doe and say what ye l.u.s.t: ye shall neuer please me But when ye are merrie: I will bee all sadde When ye are sorie: I wyll be very gladde When ye seeke your heartes ease: I will be vnkinde At no time: in me shall ye muche gentlenesse finde.

But all things contrary to your will and minde Shall be done otherwise: I wyll not be behynde To speake: And as for all they that woulde do you wrong, (I wyll so helpe and maintayne ye) shall not lyue long.

Nor any foolishe dolte shall c.u.mber you, but I, I, who ere say nay, wyll sticke by you tyll I die.

Thus good mistresse Custance, the lorde you saue and kepe.

From me Roister Doister, whether I wake or slepe, Who fauoureth you no lesse, (ye may be bolde) Than this letter purporteth, which ye haue vnfolde.

Now sir, what default can ye finde in this letter?

+R. Royster.+ Of truth in my mynde there can not be a better.

+Scriuener.+ Then was the fault in readyng, and not in writyng, No nor I dare say in the fourme of endityng, But who read this letter, that it sounded so nought?

+M. Mery.+ I redde it in deede.

+Scriuener.+ Ye red it not as ye ought.

+R. Royster.+ Why thou wretched villaine was all this same fault in thee?

+M. Mery.+ I knocke your costarde if ye offer to strike me.

+R. Royster.+ Strikest thou in deede? and I offer but in iest?

+M. Mery.+ Yea and rappe you againe except ye can sit in rest.

And I will no longer tarie here me beleue.

+R. Royster.+ What wilt thou be angry, and I do thee forgeue?

Fare thou well scribler, I crie thee mercie in deede.

+Scriuener.+ Fare ye well bibbler, and worthily may ye speede.

+R. Royster.+ If it were an other but thou, it were a knaue.

+M. Mery.+ Ye are an other your selfe sir, the lorde vs both saue, Albeit in this matter I must your pardon craue, Alas woulde ye wyshe in me the witte that ye haue?

But as for my fault I can quickely amende, I will shewe Custance it was I that did offende.

+R. Royster.+ By so doing hir anger may be reformed.

+M. Mery.+ But if by no entreatie she will be turned, Then sette lyght by hir and bee as testie as shee, And doe your force vpon hir with extremitie.

+R. Royster.+ Come on therefore lette vs go home in sadnesse.

+M. Mery.+ That if force shall neede all may be in a readinesse, And as for thys letter hardely let all go, We wyll know where she refuse you for that or no. [_Exeant am._

Actus. iiij. Scaena. j.

+Sym Suresby.+

+Sim Sure.+ Is there any man but I Sym Suresby alone, That would haue taken such an enterprise him vpon, In suche an outragious tempest as as this was.

Suche a daungerous gulfe of the sea to pa.s.se.

I thinke verily _Neptunes_ mightie G.o.dshyp, Was angry with some that was in our shyp, And but for the honestie which in me he founde, I thinke for the others sake we had bene drownde.

But fye on that seruant which for his maisters wealth Will sticke for to hazarde both his lyfe and his health.

My maister Gawyn Goodlucke after me a day Bicause of the weather, thought best hys shyppe to stay, And now that I haue the rough sourges so well past, G.o.d graunt I may finde all things safe here at last.

Then will I thinke all my trauaile well spent.

Nowe the first poynt wherfore my maister hath me sent Is to salute dame Christian Custance his wife, Espoused: whome he tendreth no lesse than his life, I must see how it is with hir well or wrong, And whether for him she doth not now thinke long: Then to other friendes I haue a message or tway, And then so to returne and mete him on the way.