Under Western Eyes - LightNovelsOnl.com
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An appreciable fraction of a second elapsed before the real import of the question reached him, like a bullet which strikes some time after the flash of the fired shot. Luckily his disengaged hand was ready to grip a bar of the gate. He held it with a terrible force, but his presence of mind was gone. He could make only a sort of gurgling, grumpy sound.
"Come, Kirylo Sidorovitch!" she urged him. "I know you are not a boastful man. _That_ one must say for you. You are a silent man. Too silent, perhaps. You are feeding on some bitterness of your own. You are not an enthusiast. You are, perhaps, all the stronger for that. But you might tell me. One would like to understand you a little more. I was so immensely struck.... Have you really done it?"
He got his voice back. The shot had missed him. It had been fired at random, altogether, more like a signal for coming to close quarters.
It was to be a plain struggle for self-preservation. And she was a dangerous adversary too. But he was ready for battle; he was so ready that when he turned towards her not a muscle of his face moved.
"Certainly," he said, without animation, secretly strung up but perfectly sure of himself. "Lectures--certainly, But what makes you ask?"
It was she who was animated.
"I had it in a letter, written by a young man in Petersburg; one of us, of course. You were seen--you were observed with your notebook, impa.s.sible, taking notes...."
He enveloped her with his fixed stare.
"What of that?"
"I call such coolness superb--that's all. It is a proof of uncommon strength of character. The young man writes that n.o.body could have guessed from your face and manner the part you had played only some two hours before--the great, momentous, glorious part...."
"Oh no. n.o.body could have guessed," a.s.sented Razumov gravely, "because, don't you see, n.o.body at that time...."
"Yes, yes. But all the same you are a man of exceptional fort.i.tude, it seems. You looked exactly as usual. It was remembered afterwards with wonder...."
"It cost me no effort," Razumov declared, with the same staring gravity.
"Then it's almost more wonderful still!" she exclaimed, and fell silent while Razumov asked himself whether he had not said there something utterly unnecessary--or even worse.
She raised her head eagerly.
"Your intention was to stay in Russia? You had planned...."
"No," interrupted Razumov without haste. "I had made no plans of any sort."
"You just simply walked away?" she struck in.
He bowed his head in slow a.s.sent. "Simply--yes." He had gradually released his hold on the bar of the gate, as though he had acquired the conviction that no random shot could knock him over now. And suddenly he was inspired to add, "The snow was coming down very thick, you know."
She had a slight appreciative movement of the head, like an expert in such enterprises, very interested, capable of taking every point professionally. Razumov remembered something he had heard.
"I turned into a narrow side street, you understand," he went on negligently, and paused as if it were not worth talking about. Then he remembered another detail and dropped it before her, like a disdainful dole to her curiosity.
"I felt inclined to lie down and go to sleep there."
She clicked her tongue at that symptom, very struck indeed. Then--
"But the notebook! The amazing notebook, man. You don't mean to say you had put it in your pocket beforehand!" she cried.
Razumov gave a start. It might have been a sign of impatience.
"I went home. Straight home to my rooms," he said distinctly.
"The coolness of the man! You dared?"
"Why not? I a.s.sure you I was perfectly calm. Ha! Calmer than I am now perhaps."
"I like you much better as you are now than when you indulge that bitter vein of yours, Razumov. And n.o.body in the house saw you return--eh? That might have appeared queer."
"No one," Razumov said firmly. "Dvornik, landlady, girl, all out of the way. I went up like a shadow. It was a murky morning. The stairs were dark. I glided up like a phantom. Fate? Luck? What do you think?"
"I just see it!" The eyes of the woman revolutionist snapped darkly.
"Well--and then you considered...."
Razumov had it all ready in his head.
"No. I looked at my watch, since you want to know. There was just time.
I took that notebook, and ran down the stairs on tiptoe. Have you ever listened to the pit-pat of a man running round and round the shaft of a deep staircase? They have a gaslight at the bottom burning night and day. I suppose it's gleaming down there now.... The sound dies out--the flame winks...."
He noticed the vacillation of surprise pa.s.sing over the steady curiosity of the black eyes fastened on his face as if the woman revolutionist received the sound of his voice into her pupils instead of her ears. He checked himself, pa.s.sed his hand over his forehead, confused, like a man who has been dreaming aloud.
"Where could a student be running if not to his lectures in the morning?
At night it's another matter. I did not care if all the house had been there to look at me. But I don't suppose there was anyone. It's best not to be seen or heard. Aha! The people that are neither seen nor heard are the lucky ones--in Russia. Don't you admire my luck?"
"Astonis.h.i.+ng," she said. "If you have luck as well as determination, then indeed you are likely to turn out an invaluable acquisition for the work in hand."
Her tone was earnest; and it seemed to Razumov that it was speculative, even as though she were already apportioning him, in her mind, his share of the work. Her eyes were cast down. He waited, not very alert now, but with the grip of the ever-present danger giving him an air of attentive gravity. Who could have written about him in that letter from Petersburg? A fellow student, surely--some imbecile victim of revolutionary propaganda, some foolish slave of foreign, subversive ideals. A long, famine-stricken, red-nosed figure presented itself to his mental search. That must have been the fellow!
He smiled inwardly at the absolute wrong-headedness of the whole thing, the self-deception of a criminal idealist shattering his existence like a thunder-clap out of a clear sky, and re-echoing amongst the wreckage in the false a.s.sumptions of those other fools. Fancy that hungry and piteous imbecile furnis.h.i.+ng to the curiosity of the revolutionist refugees this utterly fantastic detail! He appreciated it as by no means const.i.tuting a danger. On the contrary. As things stood it was for his advantage rather, a piece of sinister luck which had only to be accepted with proper caution.
"And yet, Razumov," he heard the musing voice of the woman, "you have not the face of a lucky man." She raised her eyes with renewed interest.
"And so that was the way of it. After doing your work you simply walked off and made for your rooms. That sort of thing succeeds sometimes. I suppose it was agreed beforehand that, once the business over, each of you would go his own way?"
Razumov preserved the seriousness of his expression and the deliberate, if cautious, manner of speaking.
"Was not that the best thing to do?" he asked, in a dispa.s.sionate tone.
"And anyway," he added, after waiting a moment, "we did not give much thought to what would come after. We never discussed formally any line of conduct. It was understood, I think."
She approved his statement with slight nods.
"You, of course, wished to remain in Russia?"
"In St. Petersburg itself," emphasized Razumov. "It was the only safe course for me. And, moreover, I had nowhere else to go."
"Yes! Yes! I know. Clearly. And the other--this wonderful Haldin appearing only to be regretted--you don't know what he intended?"
Razumov had foreseen that such a question would certainly come to meet him sooner or later. He raised his hands a little and let them fall helplessly by his side--nothing more.
It was the white-haired woman conspirator who was the first to break the silence.
"Very curious," she p.r.o.nounced slowly. "And you did not think, Kirylo Sidorovitch, that he might perhaps wish to get in touch with you again?"