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"I didn't think it could be so bad with you as that."
"No;--I don't suppose women ever do believe. And I wouldn't have believed it of myself. I hated myself for it. By George, I did. That is when I began to think it was all up with me."
"All up with you! Oh, Will!"
"I had quite made up my mind to go to New Zealand. I had, indeed. I couldn't have kept my hands off that man if we had been living in the same country. I should have wrung his neck."
"Will, how can you talk so wickedly?"
"There's no understanding it till you have felt it. But never mind.
It's all right now; isn't it, Clara?"
"If you think so."
"Think so! Oh, Clara, I am such a happy fellow. Do give me a kiss.
You have never given me one kiss yet."
"What nonsense! I didn't think you were such a baby."
"By George, but you shall;--or you shall never get home to tea to-night. My own, own, own darling. Upon my word, Clara, when I begin to think about it I shall be half mad."
"I think you are quite that already."
"No, I'm not;--but I shall be when I'm alone. What can I say to you, Clara, to make you understand how much I love you? You remember the song, 'For Bonnie Annie Laurie I'd lay me down and dee.' Of course it is all nonsense talking of dying for a woman. What a man has to do is to live for her. But that is my feeling. I'm ready to give you my life. If there was anything to do for you, I'd do it if I could, whatever it was. Do you understand me?"
"Dear Will! Dearest Will!"
"Am I dearest?"
"Are you not sure of it?"
"But I like you to tell me so. I like to feel that you are not ashamed to own it. You ought to say it a few times to me, as I have said it so very often to you."
"You'll hear enough of it before you've done with me."
"I shall never have heard enough of it. Oh, Heavens, only think, when I was coming down in the train last night I was in such a bad way."
"And are you in a good way now?"
"Yes; in a very good way. I shall crow over Mary so when I get home."
"And what has poor Mary done?"
"Never mind."
"I dare say she knows what is good for you better than you know yourself. I suppose she has told you that you might do a great deal better than trouble yourself with a wife?"
"Never mind what she has told me. It is settled now;--is it not?"
"I hope so, Will."
"But not quite settled as yet. When shall it be? That is the next question."
But to that question Clara positively refused to make any reply that her lover would consider to be satisfactory. He continued to press her till she was at last driven to remind him how very short a time it was since her father had been among them; and then he was very angry with himself, and declared himself to be a brute. "Anything but that," she said. "You are the kindest and the best of men;--but at the same time the most impatient."
"That's what Mary says; but what's the good of waiting? She wanted me to wait to-day."
"And as you would not, you have fallen into a trap out of which you can never escape. But pray let us go. What will they think of us?"
"I shouldn't wonder if they didn't think something near the truth."
"Whatever they think, we will go back. It is ever so much past nine."
"Before you stir, Clara, tell me one thing. Are you really happy?"
"Very happy."
"And are you glad that this has been done?"
"Very glad. Will that satisfy you?"
"And you do love me?"
"I do--I do--I do. Can I say more than that?"
"More than anybody else in the world?"
"Better than all the world put together."
"Then," said he, holding her tight in his arms, "show me that you love me." And as he made his request he was quick to explain to her what, according to his ideas, was the becoming mode by which lovers might show their love. I wonder whether it ever occurred to Clara, as she thought of it all before she went to bed that night, that Captain Aylmer and William Belton were very different in their manners. And if so, I must wonder further whether she most approved the manners of the patient man or the man who was impatient.
CHAPTER x.x.xII.
CONCLUSION.
About two months after the scene described in the last chapter, when the full summer had arrived, Clara received two letters from the two lovers, the history of whose loves have just been told, and these shall be submitted to the reader, as they will serve to explain the manner in which the two men proposed to arrange their affairs. We will first have Captain Aylmer's letter, which was the first read; Clara kept the latter for the last, as children always keep their sweetest morsels.
Aylmer Park, August, 186--.
MY DEAR MISS AMEDROZ,
I heard before leaving London that you are engaged to marry your cousin Mr. William Belton, and I think that perhaps you may be satisfied to have a line from me to let you know that I quite approve of the marriage.
"I do not care very much for his approval or disapproval," said Clara as she read this.