The Conquest of Canaan - LightNovelsOnl.com
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Again the bells across the Square rang out their chime. The paths were decorously enlivened with family and neighborhood groups, bound churchward; and the rumble of the organ, playing the people into their pews, shook on the air. And Joe knew that he must speak quickly, if he was to say what he had planned to say, before he and Ariel went into the church.
"Ariel?" He tried to compel his voice to a casual cheerfulness, but it would do nothing for him, except betray a desperate embarra.s.sment.
She looked at him quickly, and as quickly away.
"Yes?"
"I wanted to say something to you, and I'd better do it now, I think--before I go to church for the first time in two years!" He managed to laugh, though with some ruefulness, and continued stammeringly: "I want to tell you how much I like him--how much I admire him--"
"Admire whom?" she asked, a little coldly, for she knew.
"Mr. Ladew."
"So do I," she answered, looking straight ahead. "That is one reason why I wanted you to come with me to-day."
"It isn't only that. I want to tell you--to tell you--" He broke off for a second. "You remember that night in my office before Fear came in?"
"Yes; I remember."
"And that I--that something I said troubled you because it--it sounded as if I cared too much for you--"
"No; not too much." She still looked straight ahead. They were walking very slowly. "You didn't understand. You'd been in my mind, you see, all those years, so much more than I in yours. I hadn't forgotten YOU. But to you I was really a stranger--"
"No, no!" he cried.
"Yes, I was," she said, gently but very quickly. "And I--I didn't want you to fall in love with me at first sight. And yet--perhaps I did!
But I hadn't thought of things in that way. I had just the same feeling for you that I always had--always! I had never cared so much for any one else, and it seemed to me the most necessary thing in my life to come back to that old companions.h.i.+p-- Don't you remember--it used to trouble you so when I would take your hand? I think I loved your being a little rough with me. And once, when I saw how you had been hurt, that day you ran away--"
"Ariel!" he gasped, helplessly.
"Have you forgotten?"
He gathered himself together with all his will. "I want to prove to you," he said, resolutely, "that the dear kindness of you isn't thrown away on me; I want you to know what I began to say: that it's all right with me; and I think Ladew--" He stopped again. "Ah! I've seen how much he cares for you--"
"Have you?"
"Ariel," he said, "that isn't fair to me, if you trust me. You could not have helped seeing--"
"But I have not seen it," she interrupted, with great calmness. After having said this, she finished truthfully: "If he did, I would never let him tell me. I like him too much."
"You mean you're not going to--"
Suddenly she turned to him. "NO!" she said, with a depth of anger he had not heard in her voice since that long-ago winter day when she struck Eugene Bantry with her clenched fist. She swept over him a blinding look of reproach. "How could I?"
And there, upon the steps of the church, in the sudden, dazzling vision of her love, fell the burden of him who had made his sorrowful pilgrimage across Main Street bridge that morning.
A manifold rustling followed them as they went down the aisle, and the sibilance of many whisperings; but Joe was not conscious of that, as he took his place in Ariel's pew beside her. For him there was only the presence of divinity; the church was filled with it.
They rose to sing:
"Ancient of days, Who sittest, throned in glory, To Thee all knees are bent, all voices pray; Thy love has blest the wide world's wondrous story With light and life since Eden's dawning day."
And then, as they knelt to pray, there were the white heads of the three old friends of Eskew Arp; and beyond was the silver hair of Martin Pike, who knelt beside his daughter. Joe felt that people should be very kind to the Judge.
The sun, so eager without, came temperately through the windows, where stood angels and saints in gentle colors, and the face of the young minister in this quiet light was like the faces in the windows....
"Not only to confront your enemies," he said; "that is not enough; nor is it that I would have you bl.u.s.ter at them, nor take arms against them; you will not have to do that if, when they come at you, you do not turn one inch aside, but with an a.s.sured heart, with good nature, not noisily, and with steadfastness, you keep on your way. If you can do that, I say that they will turn aside for you, and you shall walk straight through them, and only laughter be left of their anger!"
There was a stir among the people, and many faces turned toward Joe.
Two years ago he had sat in the same church, when his character and actions had furnished the underlying theme of a sermon, and he had recognized himself without difficulty: to-day he had not the shadow of a dream that the same thing was happening. He thought the people were turning to look at Ariel, and he was very far from wondering at that.
She saw that he did not understand; she was glad to have it so. She had taken off her gloves, and he was holding them lightly and reverently in his hands, looking down upon them, his thin cheeks a little flushed. And at that, and not knowing the glory that was in his soul, something forlorn in his careful tenderness toward her gloves so touched her that she felt the tears coming to her eyes with a sudden rush. And to prevent them.
"Not the empty gloves, Joe," she whispered.