Quaint Epitaphs Part 12

"But Peter met her with a club And knocked her back to Beelzebub."

Beneath this stone in hopes of Zion, Doeth lay the landlord of the Lion.

His son keeps in the business still Resigned unto His heavenly will.

John Palfryman who is buried here Was aged four and twenty years.

And near this place his Mother lies Likewise his father when he dies.

SALISBURY.

Farewell vain world I've had enough of thee, And value not what thou canst say of me; Thy smiles I court not, nor thy frowns I fear, All's one to me, my head lies quiet here; What faults thou'st seen in me take care to shun And look at home, there's something to be done

Like a tender rose-tree was my spouse to me.

Her offspring plucked too long deprived of life is she.

Three went before, her life went with the sixth: I stay with the three our sorrows for to mix, Till Christ our only hope our joys doth fix.

SHETFORD CHURCHYARD.

My grandfather was buried here, My cousin Jane and two uncles, dear.

My father perished with inflammation of the eyes.

My sister dropped dead in a nunnery.

But the reason why I am here interred according to my thinking, Is owing to my good living and hard drinking, If therefore, good Christians, you wish to live long Don't drink to much wine, brandy, gin, or any thing strong.

Beneath this monumental stone Lies half a ton of flesh and bone.

Shakspeare.

Good friends for Jesus' sake forbear To stir the dust enclosed here.

Blest be the man who spares these stones And cursed be he who moves my bones.

NOVA SCOTIA.

Here lies old twenty five per cent.

The more he had the more he lent.

The more he had the more he craved, Great G.o.d, can his poor soul be saved?

MT. PARK CEMETERY, MONTREAL.

Fred McKernan, Aged three years.

Johnie wants to know where do you now stay Or with whom do you now play, Or where do you roam?

For the little iron cot Your poor mother bought Still waits for you at home.

FOLKSTONE.

Mrs David Stuart

For twenty years and eight I lived a maiden's life And five and thirty years I was a married wife.

And in that s.p.a.ce of time eight children I did bear, Four sons, four daughters who I ever loved most dear; Three of that number as the Scriptures run, Preached up the way to Heaven--and h.e.l.l to shun.

Maiden Lillard,

A young Scotch woman, who at the battle of Ancrum, 1545, distinguished herself by her extraordinary valor.

Fair Maiden Lillard lies under this sod.

Little was her statue but great was her fame.

Upon the English loons she laid many thumps, And when her legs were cut off she fought upon her stumps.

Here lies a man who all his mortal life Spent mending clocks, but could not mend his wife.

The larum of his bell was ne'er so shrill As was her tongue, aye, clacking like a mill.

But now he's gone--oh whither none can tell But hope beyond the sound of Matty's bell.

PARIS.

Adah Isaac Menkin.

"Thou knowest."

Lord Byron's epitaph on his Newfoundland dog at Newstead.

"To mark a friend's remains These stones arise.

I never knew but one And here he lies."

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND.

Here lies John Hill, a man of skill, His age was five times ten.

He ne'er did good nor ever would Had he lived as long again.