Faith And Unfaith - LightNovelsOnl.com
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"Of course, darling. He is coming home next week. But how shall I meet him and say all this to him! The very thought of it is terrible."
"Next week?--so soon?"
"Yes; I had a line from him this morning,--the only one he wrote me since his departure; but that was my own fault. I am almost sorry he is coming now," says Mrs. Brans...o...b.., nervously. "I shall dread the look in his eyes when I confess to him how readily I believed in that false rumor."
"You hardly deserve pity," says Clarissa, suddenly, turning upon her with some just anger. "You undervalued him all through. Instead of going 'down on your knees to thank heaven, fasting, for a good man's love,' you deliberately flung it away. How different it has been with me! I trusted blindly, and see my reward! Even yet I cannot realize it. It seems like some strange horrible nightmare, from which I must awake. Yesterday I was so happy; to-day----"
She breaks down, and bursts into bitter weeping.
Georgie throws herself on her knees before her.
"Is this your luggage, sir? Glad to see you back again, sir."
"Thank you, Jeffers. Yes, that is mine. All right at home, I hope?
Your mistress quite well?"
"Quite well, sir. She is at home, awaiting you."
Dorian turns away with a bitter smile. "At home, awaiting him!" What a wretched fool he once was, when he used to really picture to himself a fair fond woman waiting and longing for his return, whenever Fate had called him from her side!
Arriving at Sartoris, he runs up the stairs to his own room, meeting no one on his way. He smiles again--the same unlovely smile--as he tells himself that Jeffers exaggerated the case a little,--as, plainly, Georgie has taken special pains to be out of the way to avoid meeting him on his first arrival.
Opening his door, he goes in, closing it firmly behind him. Everything in the room is just as he had left it. Nothing has been changed; the very book he had been reading is lying now open at the page he had last looked into. A glorious fire is burning in the grate. A delicate Bohemian vase is filled with some rare sweet flowers.
Whose hand had gathered them? If it was one of the servants, it was very thoughtful. He is very fond of flowers. He moves listlessly about, wondering vaguely how everything can look, after some months'
absence, so exactly as if he had seen it only yesterday, when a small object lying on a side-table attracts his notice.
It is a little gray glove, soiled, finger-pressed, warm as if its owner but just a minute since had drawn it from her hand. It is yet almost a part of the white, soft flesh it had covered. His brow contracts, and a pained expression crosses his face. Taking it up, he lays it in his open palm, and regards it earnestly; he hesitates, and then, as though unable to prevent himself, he raises it and presses it pa.s.sionately to his lips. An instant later, with a contemptuous gesture and an inward anathema upon his own weakness, he flings it far from him through the open window down on to the balcony beneath,--where it flutters to Mrs. Brans...o...b..'s feet!
Mechanically she stoops and picks it up. She has been hurrying towards the house, having only just heard of her husband's arrival, she not having expected him for some time later, trains at Pullingham being none of the most punctual.
Gazing at the luckless glove, her whole expression changes. She is beneath his window: was it his hand flung it so disdainfully to the ground,--the glove she had worn such a short time before, when gathering the flowers that are now making his room so sweet? Clasping the unoffending bit of kid closely in her hand, she enters the house, by a wide French window, and goes straight into Dorian's room.
At the door she hesitates, and then knocks somewhat nervously.
"Come in." His voice has been so long a stranger to her that she almost starts on hearing it, and the last remnant of her courage vanishes. She opens the door and goes slowly in.
Dorian's back is turned to her. His coat is off, and he is brus.h.i.+ng his hair before a gla.s.s in the furious fas.h.i.+on men, as a rule, affect.
As she enters, he turns, and putting down the brushes, regards her with undisguised surprise. Plainly, he has not expected her.
"How d'ye do?" he says, presently. It is perfectly absurd; yet neither of them laughs. It is the most ridiculous greeting he could possibly have made her, considering all things; yet no sense of ridicule touches them. They are too near to tragedy to harbor a thought of comedy.
"I did not expect you until five," says Georgie, in a constrained tone. "If I had known, I should have been ready to receive you."
"Pray do not apologize," he says, coldly. "It is very good of you to come here now. It is more than I expected."
"I came," says Georgie, with an effort, "because I have something to tell you, that should be told without delay."
"What is it?" he asks, quickly. "Is my uncle well?"
"Quite well. I saw him yesterday. It has nothing to do with him; though, of course, it must touch him very nearly."
"You will be tired," he says, with grave but distant politeness. "Sit down while you tell me your news."
"No; I prefer standing." She clasps one hand tightly over the other, and leans against the wall; she cannot, try as she will, remove her eyes from his face. "What I want to say is this: I have heard of Ruth Annersley!"
"Have you?" with an ominous calm in look and tone. "Where is she?"
"With--your brother!"
Dorian walks abruptly to the window, and stands there so that his face cannot be seen. He is distressed beyond measure. So his old suspicions have proved true, after all, and Horace's protestations were as basest lies. He feels sick at heart for his brother's honor,--that miserable remnant of a once fair thing, that costly garment, now reduced to rags. After a while he forces himself to speak again.
"Who found her there?" he asks, huskily.
"Clarissa."
"Clarissa?" He is now thoroughly shocked. "What cruel fate made her the discoverer?"
"Chance. He was ill, and she went to see him, out of pure love for him. She was rewarded by a sight of Ruth Annersley!"
"Poor girl!" says Brans...o...b.., sadly. "So true,--so trusting."
Georgie draws her breath quickly. Are not his words a reflection upon her?--she, who has so failed in faith and love?
"I suppose that is all you have to tell me," says Dorian, presently, in an absent, weary way.
"Not quite all," she says, with a trembling voice. She forces herself to come nearer to him, and now stands before him like a small pale culprit, unable to lift her eyes to his. "I want to tell you how deeply I regret the injustice, the--"
"No, no," interrupts he, impatiently. "Let nothing be said about that.
It would be worse than useless. Why waste words over what can never be undone?"
Still she perseveres bravely, although her breath is coming quicker, and her lips are trembling.
"I must tell you how sorry I am," she says, with a suppressed sob. "I want to ask you, if possible, to forg----"
"Believe me, it will be better to leave all this unsaid," he interrupts her, gravely.
"Then you do not care to hear how I have regretted the wrong I did you, and----?"
"As you ask me the question, I will answer you. No, I do not. Had you, at any time, felt one particle of affection for me, you could never have so misunderstood me. Let things now remain as they are. Though I think that perhaps, for the short time I shall remain at home, it will be better for your sake that we should appear before the world, at least, as friends."
"You are leaving home again?" she asks, timidly. Now, as he stands before her, so tall, and strong, and unforgiving, with this new-born dignity upon him, she fully realizes, for the first time, all she has recklessly resigned. He had loved her at one time, surely, and she had trampled on that love, until she had crushed out of it all life and sweetness:
"For it so falls out That what we have we prize not to the worth While we enjoy it; but, being lacked and lost, Why, then we rack the value; then we find The virtue that possession would not show us While it was ours."
"Yes, as soon as I can finish the business that has brought me back. I fear that will keep me two months, at least. I wish I could hasten it, but it would be impossible." He grows slightly _distrait_, but, after a moment, rouses himself with a start, and looks at her. "Am I keeping you?" he asks, courteously. (To her the courtesy is a positive cruelty.) "Do not let me detain you any longer. Is there anything more you wish to say to me?"