The Kitchen House Part 22

I did not understand his meaning and said so.

"I have only recently learned of your visits to the hospital."

"Oh."

"What kindness, Lavinia. How extraordinary your loyalty."

"It isn't really so extraordinary, Marshall," I said. "Miss Martha gives me comfort. She reminds me of home-that is, of Tall Oaks."

"And do you consider Tall Oaks your home?"

"It is the only home I remember."

"And it is your birthday today?"

I laughed, wondering where this conversation was going. "Yes, I'm seventeen," I admitted.

"You are aware, then, that today you are a free woman?"

I looked at him in surprise. Although I knew I was indentured, I no longer thought of myself in bondage.

"I will have papers drawn up if you like."

"Will they be necessary?" I asked.

"No." He smiled. "Not if you agree to my plan."

I questioned him with a look.

He took a deep breath. "Lavinia. I have a proposal for you."

At once I was filled with enthusiasm; I realized what he was about to suggest. He wanted me as a companion for his mother! He would take the two of us back with him! I fought to control my growing excitement.

"This fall I will inherit Father's estate. By then I'll have completed my studies, but I won't stay here to practice law. I plan to go back to Tall Oaks to run the plantation myself." He took a seat beside me. "You must know I care for you. I want you to come with me, Lavinia. I want to marry you."

I was speechless with astonishment.

He took my hand. "I've already discussed this with Aunt and Uncle, and both think this a fine match."

Still I was unable to speak.

"Lavinia," he said, "you must know how very dear you are to me." Taking my stunned silence as a negative, he continued, "Please consider my proposal."

"Well ... yes. I would be honored," I managed to say. In response, he kissed my gloved hand and smiled at me. I reached up to tenderly loose one of his sandy blond curls, caught under his crisp white s.h.i.+rt collar.

"We will be happy," he said, and he drew me toward him in a warm embrace.

I IMMEDIATELY SOUGHT IMMEDIATELY SOUGHT M MISS S SARAH'S counsel. What did she think of a marriage between Marshall and me? counsel. What did she think of a marriage between Marshall and me?

"You are both young," she said, "yet I see your influence on him. He is a happy man when he is with you, Lavinia. I do believe that you bring out the best in him."

I was flattered to hear this.

"I know how you long to return to Tall Oaks," she continued, "and I'm sure that you are aware of the social advantages this marriage will bring to you." She stopped, studied her hands, and then looked at me again. "Do you care for Marshall?"

"Yes," I replied honestly, "I do."

"Then," she said, "Mr. Madden and I are happy to give our blessing."

That same night I broke my silence and wrote to tell Belle of my good fortune. I was elated! I was coming home! I wrote how happy I was and how grateful I felt to Marshall for his saving me from an unknown future.

HOW I I PLAYED OVER MY PLAYED OVER MY homecoming! Married to Marshall, I would be in a position to cast favor on my waiting family, and I spent many hours daydreaming of how we might improve on their homes and find ways to ease their workload. I took the fantasy so far that I even believed it possible Marshall would give them their freedom one day, as I had been given mine. homecoming! Married to Marshall, I would be in a position to cast favor on my waiting family, and I spent many hours daydreaming of how we might improve on their homes and find ways to ease their workload. I took the fantasy so far that I even believed it possible Marshall would give them their freedom one day, as I had been given mine.

I did have some concerns about him, but I kept them to myself. He clearly trusted me as he trusted no other, and because of it, I saw his vulnerability-something he hid well from others. He was considerate of me, but if I gave opposition, offering an opinion that differed from his, he took it as a personal offense and would isolate himself in a dark mood. As a consequence, I learned quickly to stand with him on any subject. Fortunately, making myself amenable was not foreign to me, as I had lived this way for much of my life.

A lesser worry, yet one that I noted, was Marshall's lack of physical affection. Our social outings were few, though he escorted me twice to theater events. He clearly took pride in having me on his arm, but we did not stay after to socialize. In fact, we came home immediately after, and once I was safely deposited, Marshall soon made an excuse to leave. As his time at university was ending, his need for study time had increased, so our Sat.u.r.day cla.s.ses were dropped. He came for evenings of card playing, where Henry and Meg were always at the ready, but he never stayed late, nor did he request to see me alone. In truth, after Mr. Boran's display, I was relieved, yet I wondered why Marshall did not at least attempt a kiss. In many ways, his treatment of me reminded me of the way I had behaved toward the doll that Mama Mae had given me as a child. I favored it so that I had refused myself the joy of playing with it, daring to love it only with my eyes. But in doing so, I had denied myself its very purpose. a child. I favored it so that I had refused myself the joy of playing with it, daring to love it only with my eyes. But in doing so, I had denied myself its very purpose.

THOUGH M MEG AND I I REMAINED REMAINED steady companions, she was curiously silent about my relations.h.i.+p with Marshall. Sensing her reluctance to discuss the topic, I did not bring up any of my own concerns. steady companions, she was curiously silent about my relations.h.i.+p with Marshall. Sensing her reluctance to discuss the topic, I did not bring up any of my own concerns.

In the last week of August, when I was being fitted for three new dresses-a gift for my upcoming marriage compliments of the Maddens-the dressmaker came with the stunning news that Mr. Boran was dead. The town hummed with gossip. The unfortunate man had been found in the woods, close to a wayside tavern some miles out of town. This tavern, it was rumored, sheltered women who, as Miss Sarah put it, "saw to the needs of a certain type of man." What made it curious was that it was well known Mr. Boran did not drink. However, it appeared that he had imbibed so heavily the evening of his death that he had fallen from his horse and fatally struck his head on a rock.

My first concern was for his daughter, Molly, until I remembered that she had an aunt who loved her well. I could not say that I regretted to hear the news, as I still had fear of the man. Though I had not told the Maddens, I had confided in Marshall that on more than one occasion I was certain I had seen him at night on the street outside my window.

Miss Sarah, Meg, and I gossiped wildly, but at dinner that day we were subdued. Mr. Madden, we did not forget, had been a friend to Mr. Boran. I offered my sympathies to him, and though he thanked me, his look was troubled.

I wanted desperately to discuss the news with Marshall, so I was disappointed when he sent his regrets and did not visit that week. When I next saw him and raised the subject of Mr. Boran, his comment was dismissive. He was bored with the topic of that miserable man's death, he said, and I knew from his behavior to let the matter rest.

THROUGH THAT SUMMER THAT SUMMER I I CONTINUED CONTINUED to visit Miss Martha. She and I did not have conversations as others might know them, but she always appeared interested in what I had to say. If she was particularly drawn to a subject, she often repeated one or two of my words. I knew then to embellish, to give further details. to visit Miss Martha. She and I did not have conversations as others might know them, but she always appeared interested in what I had to say. If she was particularly drawn to a subject, she often repeated one or two of my words. I knew then to embellish, to give further details.

I had not spoken to her of Marshall, nor of our relations.h.i.+p, but as our wedding date approached, I knew the time had come. The day I chose to tell her, we sat outside in the shade of the mad yard. It was late afternoon, and the hot August sun had no mercy for those in the enclosure, but the outdoors provided us the most privacy.

"I am going to marry Marshall," I said bluntly.

She did not respond.

"Miss Martha," I said, for some reason wanting to cry, "do you understand? I am to marry Marshall, your son."

She began to pick at the sleeve of my dress. "Marry Marshall," she said in a singsong voice, "marry Marshall."

I interrupted her as I had learned to do. "Yes," I said. "In September we will marry, and we'll go back to Tall Oaks."

"Tall Oaks," she whispered, "Tall Oaks." She lifted her head and stared off as though seeing beyond the wall.

"What do you think?" I asked.

She turned back to me and smiled, something I had not seen her do in the past five years. It touched me so that I began to cry.

IT WAS M MISS M MARTHA'S SMILE that gave me the courage to plead her case with Marshall. From what I knew, he had not seen her since that unfortunate visit years before with Miss Sarah. I did not tell him that I had knowledge of that time, but instead asked him if he would accompany me on my next visit to his mother. that gave me the courage to plead her case with Marshall. From what I knew, he had not seen her since that unfortunate visit years before with Miss Sarah. I did not tell him that I had knowledge of that time, but instead asked him if he would accompany me on my next visit to his mother.

"I cannot do it!"

I heard the pain in his statement and pressed him no further. But I asked him if it was not possible to take her home with us. I promised to be responsible for her care.

His initial response was no, but I noted a small hesitation, and the next time I felt the mood right, I remarked on the benefits that Miss Martha would have in her own home: how Mama Mae and the twins might care for her and how good food might stimulate her appet.i.te. I was optimistic and said that I thought it possible she might fully recover. I used to my advantage his eagerness to satisfy me, and a few short weeks before our marriage, I won him over. the next time I felt the mood right, I remarked on the benefits that Miss Martha would have in her own home: how Mama Mae and the twins might care for her and how good food might stimulate her appet.i.te. I was optimistic and said that I thought it possible she might fully recover. I used to my advantage his eagerness to satisfy me, and a few short weeks before our marriage, I won him over.

OUR WEDDING CEREMONY TOOK PLACE in the late afternoon on the sixth of October, 1801. We had meant to have it in the parlor, but the day was so beautiful, the garden still so pretty, and our wedding party so small that we decided at the last minute to change plans. Meg and Henry stood with us as we took our vows amid the sound of birdsong and the scent of late-blooming honeysuckle. I wore an ivory satin gown, very high-waisted, with elbow-length sleeves, and on my feet I had the prettiest pointed slippers ever made. Meg pinned up my hair and nestled in it pearl clips and small rosettes of ivory satin ribbon. in the late afternoon on the sixth of October, 1801. We had meant to have it in the parlor, but the day was so beautiful, the garden still so pretty, and our wedding party so small that we decided at the last minute to change plans. Meg and Henry stood with us as we took our vows amid the sound of birdsong and the scent of late-blooming honeysuckle. I wore an ivory satin gown, very high-waisted, with elbow-length sleeves, and on my feet I had the prettiest pointed slippers ever made. Meg pinned up my hair and nestled in it pearl clips and small rosettes of ivory satin ribbon.

About a month before the wedding, in a rare moment of privacy, Marshall had informed me that an account had been set up in my name. Mr. Madden was in charge of it, but I was to use it for the sole purpose of seeing to my needs. When Marshall told me the sum, I was astounded and said I had no need of that amount. He laughed. "You will require all of that and more! I want you to have a new wardrobe."

"But I don't need-"

"This is not about need, Lavinia. You will be my wife, and I want to see you well dressed. Remember, if this is not a sufficient amount, you have but to ask."

"Might I use some of this for gifts?"

Again he laughed. "You may use it for whatever you like, but promise me I will see a new wardrobe. And don't forget your wedding gown."

On our wedding day, as Mr. Madden led me down the brick walk toward my intended, I looked up to see Marshall's approving smile and was flooded with grat.i.tude. Because of him, my future was secured, and I was going home. After the short ceremony, drinks were made available, and our guests-among them Mr. Degat, Mr. Alessi, and Mrs. Ames-joined to offer us a toast for a long and happy marriage. Then began a round of individual toasts that ended with everyone very gay indeed. After the sun set, we went into the front parlor, which had been cleared of furniture. Mr. Alessi, with a group of musicians, played music that no one could resist, and soon we were all dancing joyfully. I was pleased to see that Marshall handled the drink as well as any of us. As a matter of fact, it relaxed him as it did me, and the two of us laughed and teased each other as though we were children. walk toward my intended, I looked up to see Marshall's approving smile and was flooded with grat.i.tude. Because of him, my future was secured, and I was going home. After the short ceremony, drinks were made available, and our guests-among them Mr. Degat, Mr. Alessi, and Mrs. Ames-joined to offer us a toast for a long and happy marriage. Then began a round of individual toasts that ended with everyone very gay indeed. After the sun set, we went into the front parlor, which had been cleared of furniture. Mr. Alessi, with a group of musicians, played music that no one could resist, and soon we were all dancing joyfully. I was pleased to see that Marshall handled the drink as well as any of us. As a matter of fact, it relaxed him as it did me, and the two of us laughed and teased each other as though we were children.

Later, Miss Sarah called us all into the dining room, where we enjoyed a feast that Nancy and Bess had prepared over the last few days. By eleven o'clock that evening, everyone had left. Marshall and I stayed that night with the Maddens, and we all soon retired, each to our separate rooms. Marshall and I slept apart; he had suggested we get a good rest before the start of our journey the following morning.

In bed that night, when I reflected back to the joy of the day, I could not sleep. Added to that was the excitement of going home.

We left early the next morning, our coach piled high. Meg and I clung to each other until Marshall teased that he would leave without me. Meg ran into the house when I climbed into the carriage, and I didn't look back to wave at the Maddens for fear of my own tears beginning. When we drew up to the public hospital, another coach waited, with Miss Martha already settled in. Two hospital attendants were with her for the journey; after we reached Tall Oaks and their patient was settled, they would return to Williamsburg.

Words could not express what I felt that morning. The other carriage led the way, and as it left, our ready horses bolted. Distracted, I flew off the seat. Marshall's quick embrace caught me or I would have been thrown. I turned in his arms and met his eyes, then surprised us both when I kissed his mouth. I sat back and blushed while he chuckled quietly. We were on our way! We were going home! A profound gladness overtook me. Tears of joy filled my eyes, and I looked out the window through prisms of color as Williamsburg faded away. I would have been thrown. I turned in his arms and met his eyes, then surprised us both when I kissed his mouth. I sat back and blushed while he chuckled quietly. We were on our way! We were going home! A profound gladness overtook me. Tears of joy filled my eyes, and I looked out the window through prisms of color as Williamsburg faded away.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Belle

WE DON'T HEAR FROM L LAVINIA for a long time, until she writes that now she's gonna marry Marshall. I don't write back. What do I say? What happened to the other man? How do you get with Marshall? What are you thinking to marry Marshall? for a long time, until she writes that now she's gonna marry Marshall. I don't write back. What do I say? What happened to the other man? How do you get with Marshall? What are you thinking to marry Marshall?

I say to Mama maybe this'll turn out good, but Mama don't like it. "Nothin' good gonna come from this," she says. "That boy got trouble comin' his way, and I don't like to think that Lavinia gonna be part of it."

I start to worrying about Marshall getting at me again, but Will Stephens says that I'm his now, and Marshall got no say over me. Will says he's got one more year to run this place, then we're going to his farm down a mile from the quarters, other side of the creek. I know his farm's gonna work out good, 'cause since Will's here, Ben and Papa say this place is doing the best it ever do.

One day after we get Lavinia's letter, the Maddens send a wag-onload of crates from Williamsburg. Will Stephens takes them up to the big house, and we're all there while he opens them up. We stand back, n.o.body saying nothing, when he pulls out the red and white paper to put up on the walls. Papa helps him unwrap two new red chairs and then bolts of cloth that looks like the color of top cream and feels soft like my own skin. When they're done, Will reads us the letter from Mrs. Madden that tells us to put all of this in a bedroom for Lavinia.

f.a.n.n.y's wondering if this is why Lavinia's gonna marry Marshall, that she's wanting all these pretty things. "If that's why she's marrying him," I say, "she sure is changed. The only time I ever see Lavinia wanting something for herself was the time she took Beattie's baby doll. And then she was just looking for something to love." see Lavinia wanting something for herself was the time she took Beattie's baby doll. And then she was just looking for something to love."

Will says he got orders for us to move Marshall's bedroom down to the good parlor. We don't ask no questions, we just work hard to get everything done like the letter says. The big house looks as good as when Miss Martha leaves, and we're all wondering if she's coming back. Her room's ready for her if she do.

Everybody knows a big change is coming. f.a.n.n.y, Beattie, Sukey, they're all watching for the carriage every day. Me too. But Ben says if Marshall ever touches me again, he's a dead man.

I never did see Mama this quiet before.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Lavinia

IT WAS A LONG JOURNEY home. In spite of the experienced attendants, I was required to travel in Miss Martha's coach for extended periods of time. I learned quickly that Marshall had little patience for his mother, though I noted he had planned ahead to meet her needs. At every tavern stop along the way, she was immediately taken to her room, where her attendants cared for her until the following morning. At great cost, I was provided with my own room. I did wonder why Marshall did not join me; I knew he often spent the nights in a communal room with other travelers. home. In spite of the experienced attendants, I was required to travel in Miss Martha's coach for extended periods of time. I learned quickly that Marshall had little patience for his mother, though I noted he had planned ahead to meet her needs. At every tavern stop along the way, she was immediately taken to her room, where her attendants cared for her until the following morning. At great cost, I was provided with my own room. I did wonder why Marshall did not join me; I knew he often spent the nights in a communal room with other travelers.

Each day became more difficult for Miss Martha. On our last day of travel, I knew it would be easiest for her if I spent the full day in her carriage, so that morning I urged Marshall to saddle his own horse and ride ahead. I could see his relief at my suggestion, and he did not wait to do exactly that.

In the late afternoon, with Miss Martha finally sleeping, we drove up the long drive that led to Tall Oaks. The green boxwood on either side of the winding road had grown tall, and when the grand house came into view, it glistened with a fresh coat of whitewash. As we pulled up, I saw smoke rise from the kitchen house, and I could scarcely keep from leaping out. I felt certain everyone would be at the big house waiting to greet me and was disappointed to see only Papa George out front. When he opened the coach door and helped me down, I reached to embrace him, but he deftly stepped back. He must have recognized my hurt, for he held tight my gloved hand and gave me a small formal bow. He pretended to look into the carriage before he asked, "Did you see Miss Abinia? They say she comin' home."

"Oh, Papa." I laughed. "You know this is me."

"My, my." He looked at me and shook his head. "Miss Abinia come back to us, and now she a lady."

"I'm the same as ever, Papa." I looked around. "Where is everyone?"

Before he could answer, Mama Mae came through the front door. I forgot all about Miss Sarah's proper decorum and called out Mama's name as I raced up the steps to greet her. I threw my arms around her, and though she did not discourage my embrace, she did not prolong it. I would have worried at this had I not seen another's sparkling eyes over Mama Mae's shoulder.

I doubt I would have recognized f.a.n.n.y if it hadn't been for her familiar eyes. At seventeen, with a broad forehead and prominent teeth, she remained as plain as ever.

She had grown tall and was very thin, but what so changed her appearance was the head rag she wore. I was used to seeing her black hair, usually in braids, framing her face. The wrap of dark navy did nothing to flatter her deep brown color. "f.a.n.n.y!" I called out as I crossed the threshold and went toward her. From the corner of my eye, I saw Mama give f.a.n.n.y a nod.

f.a.n.n.y stepped back to execute an odd attempt at a curtsy. "Miss Abinia, it sure good to have you back home with us."

I thought her formality a joke and would have laughed had the exhausted attendants not then appeared with Miss Martha. Their patient was confused and upset, and to my disappointment, she did not recognize home. Mama, f.a.n.n.y, and I took Miss Martha to her room. I measured out her next laudanum dose, and as it took effect, Mama and f.a.n.n.y readied her for bed. While she settled, I looked around and saw how everything shone. I complimented Mama and f.a.n.n.y on how well the house had been cared for.

Mama smiled. "You gonna be the fine young mistress," she said.