The Undergrad Years: Always And Forever Vive Part 3

He stepped back, turned away, and mumbled, "I'm outta here."

Hedda yapped.

As we heard the door to Charmaine's townhouse open then slam shut, Lex, Taddy, and I remained in our seats. I didn't think I had the energy to walk, even if I tried. I wanted to curl into a ball on the floor and die.

"Now what?" Lex's plump face etched in confusion.

Exuding calm and focus, Charmaine reached for the notepad and a pen, which were in the middle of the table. "I'm going to write down some homework for you girls."

Jotting on the paper, she instructed, "As Sanderloo mentioned, you need to forgive yourself, apologize to his family, and let them know he wasn't gay-bas.h.i.+ng Blake. Clear his name. Hopefully, it'll reset your karma."

"His family won't speak to me. I've tried several times to contact them." My breath hitched. Trembling, I continued, "I'm a murderer in their eyes." I hated saying this about myself, but it was the truth.

"Start with a letter to his family. They need peace surrounding their son's death, just like you do. I got the feeling from Sanderloo that they're just as disquiet over this as you are, Viveca. Do you know where they live?"

Thickness in my throat, I nodded. "In New Hamps.h.i.+re."

"Did Sanderloo say who is out to hurt us?"

Charmaine's face reddened.

"Who?"

"Miss Farnworth. Sometimes, when I do a session, I learn things that might be overwhelming for a person to hear. Often, I keep that information to myself." Her voice was soothing, yet oddly disconcerting.

"Listen, lady, I've flown to h.e.l.l and back in first cla.s.s." I licked my lips and swallowed hard, trying not to cry. "I gave my daughter up for adoption after spending half a year in juvie. I've tainted and ruined the lives of everyone I love and care about. You can tell me just about anything. I can handle it. It couldn't possibly get much worse."

"I'm afraid this person is just getting started," Charmaine admitted with a rasp of caution in her tone.

"Tell us." Lex clenched her jaw. "Please, we have to know."

"All right." Charmaine hesitated, her ice-like eyes narrowed. "I didn't get a name. Sanderloo said it's a person who wants to avenge his death. He says you already know him or her. And if you don't...he, or she, will be showing their face to you in due time."

"Oh. My. G.o.d." I cried out in disbelief, looking around the room for some type of lifeline to help. "This nightmare won't stop."

"We're going to have another accident, aren't we?" Taddy asked, nearly stuttering on her words.

Sweat beaded over my lip as I ran my middle finger around my mouth. My pits felt moist, too. It was getting hot in there. My head spun. Certain I was going to pa.s.s out at any second, I begged, "Water. Please."

Charmaine poured us each a gla.s.s and declared, "It's natural to be dehydrated after a session. Tonight, I want the three of you to each take a bath with these." She pulled out from her pocket four quartz crystals. "Give one to Blake. He'll need it."

"What else can we do?"

"My best advice is for you to trust no one."

Trust no one.

After leaving, we headed down the street. Lex grabbed both our hands and asked, "Who is always causing trouble for us?"

"Your mother," I replied, as I let Hedda's leash lengthen so she could relieve herself on a nearby shrub.

Over the years, Lex's mother had caused us so much pain and torment; there weren't enough hours in the day to go into it. But trust me when I say she was the biggest pain in our a.s.ses.

"No, you goof. Who wants to cause us harm? Who did you say earlier was writing an expose on our lives?" Lex clarified.

"Poppy. Freakin'. White!" Taddy's green eyes narrowed.

That b.i.t.c.h.

Teacher's Pet Morningside Heights "Ride me. That's it." Jay Austin moaned as I sat on top of him cowgirl-style.

My lips parted as I encouraged, "Ohhh...Jay-Jay." Picking up on his stride.

"Yes! That's it babe." Face beaming, he lowered his voice. "I want you."

"You have me."

"Amazing Vive...so...good!" With a ruddy, flushed complexion, he glanced up at me, and I caught the hunger in his eyes as he touched my face.

Talk about an adrenaline rush. I had a strong awareness of my own heartbeat. We were in the office the college had given him when he'd accepted the job as Dr. Henry's a.s.sistant. With no windows, it was the perfect place to get our freak on.

I couldn't explain it, even if I wanted to, but there was a certain indescribable thrill from having s.e.x in public places. A charge that excited every fiber of my existence. My heart froze then pounded, over and over again.

Over the last few months, we'd done it behind the wooly mammoth exhibit at the Museum of Natural History, in the back of a yellow cab while driving nearly a hundred miles an hour on the West Side Highway, on the subway (totally disgusting and yet hot all the same), Brooklyn (which considering I'd never been to that borough was totally new to me), the changing rooms at Bloomingdales, and my personal favorite, Central Park near the Alice in Wonderland statue. Ohhh...how I loved the smell of nature in the air while we f.u.c.ked. Truly glorious!

Unlike other days, I just wasn't as into it as I usually was. Odd, right?

I couldn't stop thinking about what Charmaine Whitedove had told us the day before. I couldn't get any of it out of my mind. Her words had stirred up all those old thoughts and emotions from Avon Porter.

Typically, when things bothered me, I talked about them with my besties or my boyfriends. However, after the session, Lex and Taddy made me swear on Hedda Hopper's life that I wouldn't tell a soul, especially Jay Austin or Seneca. And Blake told me to never bring it up again. Poor guy.

Normally, I'd just say okay and do it anyway, but Taddy and Lex lived with me so I couldn't get away with s.h.i.+t unless I talked about Charmaine Whitedove out in public. Possibly while Jay Austin and I were having s.e.x. But that just wouldn't be right. Would it?

Taddy had argued, "Darling, everyone in college already thinks we're bat-s.h.i.+t nuts. You go around telling students what Charmaine said, they'll surely lock us up. But this time, it won't be in juvie. No, honey. Try Bellevue's Mental Hospital."

Like gum on the bottom of my shoe, what Taddy had said stuck with me for the rest of the frickin' day. Enough to keep my mouth shut. I'd tried so hard since we got to college to clean up my reputation.

The girls believed the more we talked about someone trying to kill us, the likelier it was to happen. And by not talking about it, then maybe, just maybe, it would all go away.

If that were true, then why did Taddy feel the need to go out and get a gun? Why had Lex signed up for a self-defense cla.s.s at the gym? Why had Blake fled town with his boyfriend, Diego, to his parents' house in Fairfield that weekend?

I'll tell you why: because someone was out to frickin' kill us.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He leaned up, suckling on my perky breast.

"Nothin'."

"You gonna come?" he asked, examining my face.

That was all the man cared about, whether or not I'd o.r.g.a.s.med.

"Not today." I started to climb off him.

"Hey now!" He pulled me back down onto him. "We've never f.u.c.ked and not climaxed together."

"How would you know?" I asked, trying to be playful, hoping I could get my mojo back. "Maybe I faked it before. Maybe...I've been faking it all along."

Laughing at the very thought, he thrust up under me. Once. Twice. "Come for me, babe. Now. Let's do this. I have a student meeting in ten minutes. We gotta hurry. You will climax."

I rolled my eyes, covered his chatty mouth with my left hand, and started to ride him harder and faster. I sure as h.e.l.l wasn't going to 'get off' at that point, not with all the drama going on. However, I guess that didn't mean I should be selfish and not let him have any fun, either.

Sometimes it took Jay Austin a while to get there. A perfectionist, he wanted to make sure I was comfortable, too. Granted, he's hung. I was sure the other girls he'd been with before me had complained at the girth of it all.

But not me.

h.e.l.l no.

"The bigger, the better" was what I always said. Blake had called me a 'size queen' once. Considering his love for the Latinos, I thought that was rather funny. True, but funny.

Leaning in, I closed my eyes and for a second tried not to think about all the negative c.r.a.p, and just focus on the positive stuff going on in my life. As I rode him, picking up speed, squealing in enjoyment, b.r.e.a.s.t.s jiggling, I untied the ponytail from the back of my head, letting my blonde hair cascade over my bare shoulders. Clenching my c.u.n.t muscles as I went up, then releasing them as I came back down, I recounted all my blessings in my head.

#1. For the first time in a year, I received a postcard from my brother in Bali that morning. He was doing well, promised to visit, and stated he was proud of me for going to college. He didn't ask how Mama and Papa were doing. He never did. Part of me was sad for them, and him, but I understood.

Sometimes, you had to cut the c.r.a.p out of your life in order to make room for the good. In my brother's eyes, my parents were that bad. In my eyes, they weren't so terrible. Maybe I defended them too much. Perhaps, in some ways, I was just like them. Money has a way of making people behave like they were nuts. When you're as rich as my family, those who don't live the same lifestyle often view our eccentricities as pure and utter insanity.

They kinda were. h.e.l.lo!

#2. Hedda Hopper had won Best in Show the week before at the Lhasa Apso compet.i.tion. My little furbaby was something special. Oh, I just loved her. She was the best gift my besties could've ever given me.

#3. I was pa.s.sing all of my cla.s.ses. Not like the previous semester. Don't wanna talk about it.

#4. I had not one but two boyfriends, and I was really starting to fall for both in different ways. I was well on my way to fulfilling what I'd learned in my Intro to Psychology cla.s.s about Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

#5. On that note, my Manhattanites and I were A-Okay. We had our health and would get through whatever storms we faced together. Right? Right!

"Oh, babe, that's it. Milk my c.o.c.k with your c.u.n.t," he groaned.

Utter euphoria. So close.

"Yes, that's it, Jay-Jay." My mouth snapped shut as my breath shortened. I was going to come. Any second now...

Just as the spark of an o.r.g.a.s.m started to wash over me and the sensitive flesh between my legs got wetter, there was a loud knock at the door that caused me to lose all my pleasure. My body tensed.

c.r.a.p!

He shot up from the desk, lifting me by the hips, helping me onto the floor, and spurted, "s.h.i.+t. She's early."

"She who?" I asked, pulling my pencil skirt down with one hand while I adjusted my lip-gloss with the other.

"Jay Austin. You in there?" the voice on the other side of the door shouted.

That sounds like...

"It's Poppy White."

f.u.c.kity-f.u.c.k-f.u.c.k-fuuuck! Ugh. I didn't want to see her. I glared at Jay Austin, searching for rhyme or reason as to why she'd be here to see him. Poppy wasn't in any of his cla.s.ses. "Why is she here?" b.u.t.toning my top, I looked around for a safe place to hide.

His office was the size of my shoe closet. There was no place to go except head-on with my frenemy.

"She sent me an email. Wanted to interview me for a book she's working on. Probably about journalism."

Hearing this caused me to involuntarily throw my recently-f.u.c.ked, not-yet-o.r.g.a.s.med body against the door. It was one thing for Poppy to be writing some expose, but I guess I hadn't figured she'd be interviewing people from my life. Blocking him, feeling a p.r.i.c.kling on my scalp, I uttered, "Nooo. It's a book about my life."

"Vive, don't be silly. You're not that important." He laughed at me.

Drawing my mouth into a straight line, I bit my lower lip. Annoyed as h.e.l.l, my eyes narrowed. See, this was a perfect example of what I was talking about earlier. Total. Dumb. a.s.s. Jay Austin Johnson just didn't get it sometimes. Sure, I should've explained myself and the situation in more detail. If only I'd known Poppy would be interviewing my boyfriends, I would have.

WTF!.

Oh, I was getting so worked up. Every bit of frustration and anger I'd let build up inside me over the last few years was ready to erupt, like some Hawaiian volcano, all over the place.

The second he had his zipper up, I had some wonky out-of-body experience, as if Lex and Taddy had taken over my very being. f.u.c.k this! Turning around, I flung the door open so fast, surely the gush of air might just knock Miss p.o.o.py Wipe unconscious.

"What in the h.e.l.l do you think you're doing?" I snapped, poking my finger against her ample b.r.e.a.s.t.s as we stepped out into the fluorescently lit hallway.

"Viveca!" She seemed to shrivel up before my very eyes as I took every ounce of frustration out on her with a final push, sending her nosy, good-for-nothing, virginally-unadorned body against the grey plaster wall.

Frantically, she licked her lips as if searching for what to say next.

I didn't want to hear it. Cupping my hand over her mouth, I brought my face right up to hers, so close our noses rubbed against each other's, but that wasn't enough to scare this goon. Heck no. So I shoved my firm and perky b.r.e.a.s.t.s against hers and grazed my still-very-h.o.r.n.y nipples alongside her droopy ones.

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise so high, they nearly disappeared underneath her sharp black bangs.

"Listen to me, Poppy. Your parents had the donkey b.a.l.l.s to tell my Aunt Birgitta, who told my Mama, who then called and mentioned it to me yesterday, that you're writing a tell-all book about me and my Manhattanites."

Large brown eyes narrowing, she nodded.

"How much do I have to pay you to kill that book? Ten thousand?"

She shook her head.

"I want you to get the flip outta my life and stay away from my friends." I removed my hand to let her speak.

"Vive. Sorry you had to hear about it like this. I was gonna to tell you. I was."

"Let me see the ma.n.u.script." I crossed my arms.

"It's not done yet. I have a few more pages to go. I was just going to interview Jay Austin and Seneca to get some last-minute details on your fabulous life."