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"Is that where you attended university?"
"That's what it says on my student loans," she says. "Well, technically, it doesn't actually say the name."
Tuition in Doha is comparatively inexpensive, and since I did not attend authentic university my education was even more discounted. "I am glad that Zahira will not be indebted," I say. Rebecca does not respond, so I ask, "Do your parents live in Missouri?"
She opens up a spreadsheet and begins entering data. "My mother lives in Wisconsin, a few hours away," she says. I do not ask where her father lives.
In the early afternoon Rebecca invites me to partner with her for a coffee break. The coffee in the office is free, but it is not high quality, so we leave the building and locate a nearby Starbucks.
We do not converse much in the elevator or as we walk to the Starbucks or on line for the coffee vendor, even though we have to brainstorm frequently about programming roadblocks when we labor. I am a strong communicator in team situations for problem solving, but I am not as expert in conversing about nonproblems, and I think Rebecca is also deficient in this area. Jefferson has mastery over it and modifies his conversation when he networks in the office. I can converse merely in one mode, which is a skill set I must enhance to grow as a business leader.
I am relieved when it is our turn with the female vendor with pink hair. Rebecca orders a complex coffee, and I order a regular coffee without milk. The vendor informs us of the cost, which makes me question if it is worth buying premium coffee over receiving subpar coffee for free. Rebecca opens her purse.
I remove my wallet. "It is my gift."
"Don't be silly," Rebecca says as she searches in the purse, which contains numerous objects and papers and even smaller purses.
"I am not being silly," I say. "I want to purchase this."
I hand the vendor a $50 bill, which is the only denomination I possess at the time, and Rebecca closes her purse and does not say anything.
We sit at a table as the song "Believe" by Cher plays. Its frequency is high in Doha as well.
Rebecca tells me this is her third year at Schrub, and it is her first job she acquired after college even though in university she studied history with minimal studies in economics and computer science.
"I'm competent, but I wasn't really born to number-crunch or code," Rebecca says.
"Would you prefer a job incorporating history rather than economics and computers?" I ask.
"I guess maybe teaching, someday."
"Why do you not pursue it now?"
She raises and lowers her shoulders and drinks her coffee and scans the room.
"You should pursue what you want to pursue," I say.
"Yeah, well, you can't always get what you want." She laughs, but to herself and quietly. "And if you try sometimes, you just might find you get f.u.c.ked over even worse." Then she consumes a long drink and says she should get back to the office.
I follow her, and outside she retrieves a cigarette pack from her purse and smokes. We do not talk at all as we reenter the WTC. I think she is upset with me because I sounded like I believe I am better at my job since it is closer to my career goals. I disagree with her statement, however. When people start believing they cannot get what they want, they trash their original goals and settle for smaller ones.
We pa.s.s the coffeepot in the office, and Rebecca refills her cup from Starbucks, removes a small purse from her bigger purse and extracts one quarter, two dimes, and one nickel as if she is performing surgery and removing tumors, and deposits them in the vending machine for a bag of potato chips, and I understand she is not upset because of my previous hypothesis, but because she thinks I am wealthy, because (1) (1) I said Zahira does not have loans without explaining it is because tuition is discounted in Qatar; I said Zahira does not have loans without explaining it is because tuition is discounted in Qatar; (2) (2) I paid for our coffee with a $50 bill; I paid for our coffee with a $50 bill; (3) (3) I said she should do whatever job she wants without considering the salaries; and also possibly because I said she should do whatever job she wants without considering the salaries; and also possibly because (4) (4) Qatar has a high GDP per capita. Qatar has a high GDP per capita.
I feel so humiliated that I do not know how to apologize to Rebecca for it, and we spend the rest of the day laboring with minimal conversation and leave independently.
On Sunday morning I again do not know what to do, and I do not want to reencounter Rebecca at the office. I consider calling relatives of my family's friends, but they will ask me about my job and I do not want to discuss it now.
I would like to go to a Broadway play or a cla.s.sy restaurant, but I prefer to conserve money, and also I do not have anyone to partner with. So I take the subway to explore the neighborhoods downtown. In Chelsea I observe a few art galleries, although I do not enjoy the paintings in them as much as the ones in the Museum of Modern Art, probably because I do not understand them as well, and it is difficult to enjoy a system you are not competent in. In the early night I walk through Little Italy and then Chinatown.
It begins raining lightly, so I enter a restaurant and order vegetarian dumplings. As I wait for my food at a small square table next to the window, a Chinese family with one grandmother, two parents, and five children eats at a round table next to me. They slightly parallel the one quarter, two dimes, and one nickel Rebecca deposited in the vending machine. Their table is littered with steaming bowls and plates of noodles and vegetables and meats. They are all conversing with each other, and of course I cannot decipher what they are saying, but even if we spoke the same language I think I would not 100% decipher it, because frequently families have their own mode of speaking, e.g., my father usually does not understand what Zahira and I are saying.
Out the window the blue and red lights mirror on the wet black street. In a few hours Zahira and my father will eat their breakfast of bread with labneh, olives, and yogurt.
When the waiter deposits the dumplings on my table, I ask him to contain them so I can consume at home.
In my apartment I watch the other New York baseball team, the Mets, play against the Atlanta Braves in a playoff game. I permit myself to microwave and eat one dumpling every 1.5 innings as I study the game's internal logic. It enters overtime, and when I stretch my neck I see the Schrub monitor outside and a scrolling news item: FRENCH EMBa.s.sY BOMBED IN IRAN...NO CASUALTIES...SEVERAL INJURED...
I search other channels for additional data, but no one is discussing the bomb, not even the all-news channels. Finally I find a short report on the Internet that says a terrorist group in Iran "claimed responsibility." This phrase intrigues me, as I know only the phrase "take responsibility." I perform an Internet search: "terrorist" + "claimed responsibility" has six times more hits than "terrorist" + "took responsibility." Possibly that is because when a person commits an error but confesses to it for forgiveness, he "takes" responsibility. When he is boastful of his actions, he "claims" responsibility.
I walk around my living room as the Mets game continues. Everyone in the stadium is anxious about the game, which now seems to me foolish, although I understand why it impacts them. The Mets win with a home run, and at 11:30 p.m. I make a telephone call.
Zahira picks up on the first ring and says she has a few minutes to talk before she leaves for school. I tell her I merely called to say h.e.l.lo.
"What happened with your computer program?" she asks.
I look at my laptop that I have not even booted up today. "It is turbulent now in the stock market, so I decided it is not a strategic time to present a new program to my higher-ups."
"You sounded very optimistic about it before," she says.
"Yes, but sometimes the risks are greater than the possible rewards, and you must certify that a new idea is 100% foolproof before you launch it." She does not say anything. "Anyway, I am doing very well at Schrub overall and am making a great amount of money and friends."
"You have made friends at work?"
"Yes," I say.
"Have you socialized with anyone yet?"
"I recently had coffee with one coworker. And two others told me they will invite me next time they go to a nightclub."
She pauses. "That is good," she says. "But you should call our friends' relatives if you need to meet other people from the Middle East."
"I will, but I am satisfied with my current social network," I say.
I do not need to ask if she is making friends at university, because she emailed me that she has, and also she typically makes friends with ease. She has our mother's skill set for that.
She says she will put me on with my father before he leaves for work. "Take care, Zahira," I say.
I am uncertain if she hears me, because then my father is on the telephone. I ask him if he has heard the news about Iran yet. He has not, and I explain the situation and tell him that the news said a terrorist group in Iran has claimed responsibility. "You should not believe everything you hear on the news in the U.S.," he says.
"Why do you say that? Do you think they are lying about the attack?"
"No," he says. "But they call them a terrorist group. You do not know what this group stands for. They do not define themselves as terrorists. To them, the French government is a terrorist group."
"Yes, but the French government is not bombing civilians," I say.
"No, they have simply colonized other countries for centuries and oppress Algerians in their own country."
"Where are you getting these ideas from?" I ask.
"Just because I labor in a store does not mean I do not read, Karim."
"I did not say you do not read," I say. "I asked where you are getting these ideas."
"From newspapers that are not about money and computers and are not published in the U.S." Then he adds, "You should read one sometime."
The sounds of people celebrating and cars honking in the street because of the Mets victory rise all the way up to my apartment.
"I have to go to sleep for work tomorrow," I say.
We disconnect, and I consume my final dumpling, but its skin is now cold and has little flavor and I do not feel like microwaving it. The cars continue honking outside, and I open my window and lean my head out and shout for them to be quiet in Arabic, but of course it achieves nothing.
Alpha Phi = a social group for university femalesclaim responsibility = take responsibility for an event others view as a negative but that you are boastful ofdate-rapist = a man who forces a female he knows into s.e.xual activitynumber-crunch = make intensive calculationsshoot an email = send an email, especially about business...o...b..ot = in additionvapid = non-stimulating
JOURNAL DATE RECORDED: OCTOBER 19.
On Monday at the office I am even more quiet than average, which is nearly mute because on average I converse exclusively when someone first consults with me or if I have an urgent query.
During lunch, Dan reads The New York Times The New York Times on the computer while he eats the Indian chicken tikka masala he orders daily and Jefferson scans baseball statistics. on the computer while he eats the Indian chicken tikka masala he orders daily and Jefferson scans baseball statistics.
"You hear about this French emba.s.sy bombing in Iran?" Dan asks. "Times says a splinter terrorist cell took responsibility and vows more attacks. This s.h.i.+t's not even front-page news, that's how common it is. Why don't they just incinerate their whole uncivilized backwater country and jack up gas prices even more?" He looks quickly at me. "No offense, Karim." says a splinter terrorist cell took responsibility and vows more attacks. This s.h.i.+t's not even front-page news, that's how common it is. Why don't they just incinerate their whole uncivilized backwater country and jack up gas prices even more?" He looks quickly at me. "No offense, Karim."
"I am not from Iran," I say.
"I know," he says. "I didn't mean anything by it." Then he asks Jefferson about the fantasy baseball production of a player named Yos.h.i.+. Jefferson owns all the j.a.panese players.
In a few minutes I receive an email: Sender: Rebecca A. Goldman After I research the word "jacka.s.s," I smile at her. She reciprocates, and I feel enhanced, as we have had restricted conversation since our coffee meeting. And then I have another mental image of the stars at night. I research today's crude oil futures ASAP. They have risen 77 cents. That is expected because of the news. I use the search engine on The New York Times The New York Times and input the phrase "Middle East." It lists all the articles from the last 14 days about the Middle East. Of course, it is not always about terrorist attacks or war, e.g., the articles typically discuss government leaders meeting or business negotiations or other events that are nonviolent. I note which days the phrase appears most frequently, and how many times it appears. Then I correlate those days to the crude oil futures prices of that day or the next day. and input the phrase "Middle East." It lists all the articles from the last 14 days about the Middle East. Of course, it is not always about terrorist attacks or war, e.g., the articles typically discuss government leaders meeting or business negotiations or other events that are nonviolent. I note which days the phrase appears most frequently, and how many times it appears. Then I correlate those days to the crude oil futures prices of that day or the next day. Although I am not making intensive calculations, I think I see a correlation between how frequently The New York Times The New York Times discusses the Middle East and the fluctuations of oil futures. discusses the Middle East and the fluctuations of oil futures. I input the names of specific countries, e.g., Saudi Arabia, Iran, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, Iraq, and Qatar, which only produces approximately 0.5 million barrels per day, but that is a great amount for its small size. The correlations appear stronger. Schrub has a subscription to a service that scans all the major U.S. newspapers. I log in and input the country names again for the last 14 days. The correlations appear very strong. "Karim, want to do me a major-league favor?" Jefferson asks. Whenever he asks if I want to do him a major-league favor it means he wants me to repair a glitch that he has caused himself. I close up the windows about oil prices. I should not be laboring independently on company time anyway. The remainder of the day I cannot contain my stimulation. Before Dan and Jefferson leave, they converse about a nightclub they are going to that is providing free tequila to promote its launch. This time I am careless. Then Rebecca leaves, and I am free to labor on my project. I can now utilize spreadsheets and other programs to determine if the correlations are accurate, and broaden my newspaper search to 60 days for additional coverage. 1. First, I decide that not every expression of a country's name is equally integral, e.g., "Iran AND bomb" has more influence than "Qatar AND diplomatic talks." First, I decide that not every expression of a country's name is equally integral, e.g., "Iran AND bomb" has more influence than "Qatar AND diplomatic talks." 2. So I begin by employing a boosting algorithm that weights specific words, which I perform by reverse-correlation, so that I see what days the oil prices moved most sharply and then determine what keywords ignited their movement. "Terrorism" and "terrorist" are heavily weighted, of course, and so are "war" and "attack" and "gunfire" and similar terms. Words like "unrest" and "protest" and "demonstration" are in another cla.s.s, and words like "treaty" and "diplomatic talks" are also in a different cla.s.s. Also integral is that some words are important exclusively in pairs or in longer phrases, e.g., "white" and "house" mean little independently, but "White House" is critical. Words have elastic meanings from their context. So I begin by employing a boosting algorithm that weights specific words, which I perform by reverse-correlation, so that I see what days the oil prices moved most sharply and then determine what keywords ignited their movement. "Terrorism" and "terrorist" are heavily weighted, of course, and so are "war" and "attack" and "gunfire" and similar terms. Words like "unrest" and "protest" and "demonstration" are in another cla.s.s, and words like "treaty" and "diplomatic talks" are also in a different cla.s.s. Also integral is that some words are important exclusively in pairs or in longer phrases, e.g., "white" and "house" mean little independently, but "White House" is critical. Words have elastic meanings from their context. A. When a word or phrase proves that it has high predictive abilities, the algorithm boosts its weight. When a word or phrase proves that it has high predictive abilities, the algorithm boosts its weight. B. The names of the countries and cities that produce more oil and are more volatile also have different weights. The names of the countries and cities that produce more oil and are more volatile also have different weights. C. More recent articles weigh more. More recent articles weigh more. D. Although logic predicts certain actions, such as a terrorist attack, Although logic predicts certain actions, such as a terrorist attack, always always raise the price, this is not true, as it depends on a constellation of variables, and in a few instances an attack actually lowers prices. raise the price, this is not true, as it depends on a constellation of variables, and in a few instances an attack actually lowers prices. 3. But because the algorithm is automated and it a.n.a.lyzes But because the algorithm is automated and it a.n.a.lyzes every every word in an article, it also selects many words that I think no one else would pay attention to, such as "bitter" and "weary" and "resigned," as in this sentence: "The Prime Minister, after a round of bitter questioning, appeared weary and resigned." I think these kinds of words can in fact be more important because: word in an article, it also selects many words that I think no one else would pay attention to, such as "bitter" and "weary" and "resigned," as in this sentence: "The Prime Minister, after a round of bitter questioning, appeared weary and resigned." I think these kinds of words can in fact be more important because: A. By the time a bombing has occurred, e.g., everyone knows about it and they can predict what will happen to oil prices and they act accordingly. By the time a bombing has occurred, e.g., everyone knows about it and they can predict what will happen to oil prices and they act accordingly. B. But fewer people read about a politician appearing weary and resigned after receiving bitter questions. But fewer people read about a politician appearing weary and resigned after receiving bitter questions. C. A few people do read it, however, and they begin acting in a predictable way; then a few more people follow their lead, and more and more, until it becomes as if everyone A few people do read it, however, and they begin acting in a predictable way; then a few more people follow their lead, and more and more, until it becomes as if everyone did did read it, even though they did not. read it, even though they did not. 4. I can aid the automated algorithm by examining articles manually, and as someone whose native language is not English, I must pay closer attention to the words to produce logic from them, and sometimes I observe things others do not about English. I can aid the automated algorithm by examining articles manually, and as someone whose native language is not English, I must pay closer attention to the words to produce logic from them, and sometimes I observe things others do not about English.