Tartuffe Or the Hypocrite Part 9

(To Valere) Come, yours.

VALERE (giving Dorine his hand) What for?

DORINE (to Mariane) Now, yours.

MARIANE (giving Dorine her hand) But what's the use?

DORINE Oh, quick now, come along. There, both of you-- You love each other better than you think.

(Valere and Mariane hold each other's hands some time without looking at each other.)

VALERE (at last turning toward Mariane) Come, don't be so ungracious now about it; Look at a man as if you didn't hate him.

(Mariane looks sideways toward Valere, with just a bit of a smile.)

DORINE My faith and troth, what fools these lovers be!

VALERE (to Mariane) But come now, have I not a just complaint?

And truly, are you not a wicked creature To take delight in saying what would pain me?

MARIANE And are you not yourself the most ungrateful ... ?

DORINE Leave this discussion till another time; Now, think how you'll stave off this plaguy marriage.

MARIANE Then tell us how to go about it.

DORINE Well, We'll try all sorts of ways.

(To Mariane) Your father's daft;

(To Valere) This plan is nonsense.

(To Mariane) You had better humour His notions by a semblance of consent, So that in case of danger, you can still Find means to block the marriage by delay.

If you gain time, the rest is easy, trust me.

One day you'll fool them with a sudden illness, Causing delay; another day, ill omens: You've met a funeral, or broke a mirror, Or dreamed of muddy water. Best of all, They cannot marry you to anyone Without your saying yes. But now, methinks, They mustn't find you chattering together.

(To Valere) You, go at once and set your friends at work To make him keep his word to you; while we Will bring the brother's influence to bear, And get the step-mother on our side, too.

Good-bye.

VALERE (to Mariane) Whatever efforts we may make, My greatest hope, be sure, must rest on you.

MARIANE (to Valere) I cannot answer for my father's whims; But no one save Valere shall ever have me.

VALERE You thrill me through with joy! Whatever comes ...

DORINE Oho! These lovers! Never done with prattling!

Now go.

VALERE (starting to go, and coming back again) One last word ...

DORINE What a gabble and pother!

Be off! By this door, you. And you, by t'other.

(She pushes them off, by the shoulders, in opposite directions.)

ACT III

SCENE I

DAMIS, DORINE

DAMIS May lightning strike me dead this very instant, May I be everywhere proclaimed a scoundrel, If any reverence or power shall stop me, And if I don't do straightway something desperate!

DORINE I beg you, moderate this towering pa.s.sion; Your father did but merely mention it.

Not all things that are talked of turn to facts; The road is long, sometimes, from plans to acts.

DAMIS No, I must end this paltry fellow's plots, And he shall hear from me a truth or two.

DORINE So ho! Go slow now. Just you leave the fellow-- Your father too--in your step-mother's hands.

She has some influence with this Tartuffe, He makes a point of heeding all she says, And I suspect that he is fond of her.

Would G.o.d 'twere true!--'Twould be the height of humour Now, she has sent for him, in your behalf, To sound him on this marriage, to find out What his ideas are, and to show him plainly What troubles he may cause, if he persists In giving countenance to this design.

His man says, he's at prayers, I mustn't see him, But likewise says, he'll presently be down.

So off with you, and let me wait for him.

DAMIS I may be present at this interview.

DORINE No, no! They must be left alone.

DAMIS I won't So much as speak to him.

DORINE Go on! We know you And your high tantrums. Just the way to spoil things!

Be off.

DAMIS No, I must see--I'll keep my temper.

DORINE Out on you, what a plague! He's coming. Hide!

(Damis goes and hides in the closet at the back of the stage.)

SCENE II