Real Life In London Part 107

"And exclusively, I suppose," interrogated Tallyho, "for the accommodation of West India s.h.i.+pping?"

"Exactly so," continued Tom; "the West India Trade generally arrives in fleets, and formerly used to create much crowding, confusion, and damage in the river; but these s.h.i.+ps being now disposed of in the docks, the overgrown trade of the port is carried on with pleasure and convenience; for notwithstanding they have occasioned a very important trade to be removed to a considerable and even inconvenient distance from the metropolis, yet the advantages to the Port of London are upon the whole incalculable.

~~392~~~ "The Northern Dock for unloading inwards is 2600 by 510 feet, and 29 feet deep, covering a s.p.a.ce of 30 acres, and capable of containing from two to three hundred sail of vessels, in greater security than the river could afford them; and the West India Dock Company are reimbursed for the accommodation by a tonnage of 6s. upon the burthen of every s.h.i.+p which enters the docks; besides which they are ent.i.tled to charge for wharf.a.ge, landing, housing, weighing, cooperage, and warehouse room; certain rates upon all goods that are discharged, such as 8d. per cwt. upon sugar; 1d. per gallon upon rum; Is. 6d. per cwt. upon coffee; 2s. 6d. per cwt. upon cotton, wool, &c.: and all this immense business is conducted with a general order and regularity which greatly facilitates the business of the merchant."

"But," said Sparkle, "I apprehend it subjects him to something more of expense than he incurred by the former mode of proceeding."

"I am not able decidedly to answer," continued Tom; "but in the main, I expect that if so, it is well worth what is paid to have the additional security. The forms of conducting the business may sometimes be attended with considerable trouble, but there are persons so well acquainted with them by habitual practice, that there cannot be much difficulty at this period. This is the Export Dock, which covers an area of 24 acres, and is 2600 by 400 feet, and 29 deep. The immense buildings round the two docks, are warehouses for the reception of goods, and are of the most substantial description; and to enable s.h.i.+pping in their pa.s.sage up and down the Thames to avoid the circuitous and inconvenient course round the Isle of Dogs, a ca.n.a.l has been cut across this peninsula, through which, upon paying certain moderate rates, all s.h.i.+ps, vessels, and craft, are permitted to pa.s.s in their pa.s.sage up and down the river.

In seeing this, and the East India Docks, you have seen pretty well the nature of the whole, for they are all of a similar construction, for similar purposes, and under similar management: but we will now look in at the London Docks, which are situated between Ratcliffe Highway and the Thames, then home to dinner, and to dress for Lady M.'s party in the evening."

~~393~~~ Thus saying, they took their way towards the place he had mentioned. It would, however, be extending description more than necessary, after the preceding observations of the Hon. Tom Dashall, except to state that the Dock covers 20 acres of ground, and is 1262 feet long, 699 feet wide, and 27 deep. The warehouses, situated at the eastern extremity, are two in number, appropriated for the reception of tobacco; the largest 762 feet long, and 160 feet wide, equally divided by a strong part.i.tion wall, with double iron doors; the smallest is 250 feet by 200. They consist of a ground floor and vaults, the latter of which are devoted to the care and housing of wines, in which are usually 5000 pipes. They are solely under the control of the Customs, and the proprietors of the Docks have nothing more to do with them than to receive the rent. Other warehouses are devoted to the reception of the various articles of commerce, and the small buildings situated near the edge are appropriated to counting-houses for clerks and officers, and for weighing and pileing the goods, workshops, &c. as in the West India Docks. The capital of the Company is about 2,000,000, and the ultimate profits are limited to 10 per cent. The building was commenced in 1802, and the grand dock was opened in 1805. In the immense subterraneous caverns under the warehouses, all wines imported by the London merchant are deposited, without paying the import duty, until it is fully disposed of by the owner: a practice which is termed bonding, and saves the proprietor the advance of the duty to government out of his capital.

When the merchant finds a person likely to become a purchaser, he directs a written order to the cellarman, to peg certain pipes which are a part of his stock, in order that the visitor may taste the various samples, and select from them such as he is most agreeable to purchase."

"And no small convenience, of course," said Bon, "and of course the goods are not allowed to be removed till the duties and charges are paid by the purchaser."

"Certainly," was the reply; "they are held as a security for their ultimate payment; but come, as we have already seen enough of docks, let us make the best of our way home."

~~394~~~ Upon arrival in Piccadilly, a letter from Merrywell reminded Tom of his proposed journey to the country, with the additional attraction of Merrywell's description of the parson's daughter, whom he suggested might in all probability become his wife.

Sparkle likewise received a letter from home, reminding him of the expectations entertained of his early arrival. After dinner the evening was spent in the most agreeable and pleasant way, where our friends engaged themselves with tripping it on the light fantastic toe at Lady M.'s, till the beams of the morning darted upon them.

CHAPTER x.x.x

I'm amaz'd at the signs As I pa.s.s through the town, To see the odd mixture, "A Magpie and Crown,"

"The Whale and the Crow."

"The Razor and Hen,"

"The Leg and Seven Stars,"

"The Bible and Swan,"

"The Axe and the Bottle,"

"The Tun and the Lute,"

"The Eagle and Child,"

"The Shovel and Boot."

~~395~~~ The proposed time for departure having pressed hard upon our friends, (who though determined to quit the gaieties of London, still seemed to linger, like the moth about the candle, unwilling to separate themselves from its delights,) preparations were at length decided and acted upon; the Hon. Tom Dashall having ordered his servants to proceed on the road with the carriage, horses, and other appendages of his rank, giving time for arrival at the place of destination by easy stages, in order to avoid over fatiguing either his attendants or his horses, an example which was followed by Sparkle and Tallyho, who had mutually agreed to travel by the Mail; for which purpose places were accordingly taken at the Bull and Mouth, which being announced to Tallyho, he took occasion to ask his Cousin for an explanation of so singular a sign for an Inn.

"As far as I am able to learn," replied Tom, "it was originally the Mouth of Boulogne Harbour, or Boulogne Mouth,--and from thence corrupted to the Bull and Mouth. There are, however, many curious signs, to trace the original derivation of which, has afforded me many amusing moments during my perambulation through the streets of the metropolis; indeed it has often struck me, that the signs in many instances are so opposite to the several professions they are intended to designate, that some remedy should certainly be applied."

~~396~~~ "And how," said Sparkle, "would you propose to have the exhibition of signs regulated?"

"That," said Dashall, "as a subject of deep importance, ought to be subjected to the legislative body for decision: it will be enough for me to point out a few instances which have come under my own immediate notice.

"A short time back, as I was pa.s.sing near Smithfield, I was surprised at observing the sign of 'The Cow and Snuffers;' and whilst I was endeavouring to throw some light upon this subject, and puzzling myself in endeavouring to discover how it was possible for a Cow to snuff a Candle, or even a farthing rushlight; nay, even how it could happen that so strange an a.s.sociation should take place, I was diverted from my study on turning round, to find that some artist had exercised his ingenuity in painting a Goat in Jack Boots. At first I conceived this must be intended as a satire on our old debauchees, many of whom hide their spindled shanks in the ta.s.selled hessian. These proving inexplicable to my shallow understanding, I pursued my walk, and observed against a strong newbuilt house--'A Hole in the Wall;' and not far from the Fleet Prison, I perceived, with some surprise, 'A Friend at Hand.' Over a house kept by Nic. Coward, I saw 'The Fighting c.o.c.ks;' and at a crimping rendezvous, remarked, 'The Tree of Liberty.'--'The Jolly Gardeners' were stuck up at a purl house; and I can a.s.sure you, it was with much mortification I detected 'The Three Graces' at a gin shop."

"Ha, ha, ha," said Tallyho, laughing, "very natural combinations of characters and subjects for a contemplative philosopher like yourself to exercise your ingenuity upon."

"Pa.s.sing by a public-house," continued Tom, "the landlady of which was exercising her tongue with the most clamorous volubility, I could scarcely credit my eyes to find the sign of 'The Good Woman,' or, in other words, a woman without a head. Entering a house for refreshment, I was told, after calling the waiter for near an hour, that I was at the sign of 'The Bell;' and upon desiring the master of 'The Hen and Chickens,' to send ~~397~~~ me home a fine capon, he shewed me some cambric, and a.s.sured me it was under prime cost. The most ominous sign for a customer, I thought, was 'The Three Pigeons;' and I own it was with considerable astonishment when, after ordering a bed at 'The Feathers,' I was compelled to pa.s.s the night on a straw mattra.s.s. I have breakfasted at 'The Red Cow,' where there was no milk to be had; and at the sign of 'The Sow and Pigs,' have been unable to procure a single rasher of bacon. At 'The Bell Savage,' (which by the way is said to be a corruption of La Belle Sauvage, or 'The Beautiful Savage,') I have found rational and attentive beings; and I have known those who have bolted through 'The Bolt in Tun,' in order to avoid being bolted in a prison."

"Vastly well, indeed," exclaimed Sparkle; "and after all there is much to be done by a sign as well as by an advertis.e.m.e.nt in the newspapers, however inappropriate. The custom is of very ancient date, having been made use of even by the Romans; and not many years back a bush of ivy, or a bunch of grapes, was used for the purpose; nay, to the present day they may be met with in many places. The Bush is perhaps one of the most ancient of public-house signs, which gave rise to the well-known proverb,

"Good wine needs no bush."

That is to say, it requires nothing to point out where it is sold.

At country fairs, you will frequently see the houses in its vicinity decorated with a Bush or a Bough, from which they are termed Bough Houses, where accommodation may be found. This practice, I know, is still in use at Boroughbridge, in Yorks.h.i.+re, during their annual fair in June, which lasts a week or ten days. But putting up boughs as a sign of any thing to be sold, was not confined to alehouses; for in old times, such as sold horses were wont to put flowers or boughs upon their heads, to reveal that they were vendible.{1}

1 In all probability from this practice originated the well known proverb,

"As fine as a horse,"

an ill.u.s.tration of which, from the "Life of Mrs.

Pilkington," is here subjoined:--

"They took places in the waggon for Chester, and quitted London early on May morning; and it being the custom on the first of this month to give the waggoner at every Inn a ribbon to adorn his team, she soon discovered the origin of the proverb 'as fine as a horse;' for before they got to the end of the journey, the poor beasts were almost blinded by the tawdry party-coloured flowing honours of their heads."

~~398~~~ In Scotland, a wisp of straw upon a pole, is or was some years ago the indication of an alehouse; and to this day a s.h.i.+p or vessel for sale may be discovered by a birch broom at the mast head. I remember reading, that in Fleet Market, on the eastern side, there were some small houses, with a sign post, representing two hands conjoined, with words, "Marriages performed within" written beneath them, whilst a dirty fellow a.s.sailed the ears of the pa.s.sengers with the reiterated and loud address of, "Sir, will you walk in and be married," (as if the dread of any stoppage in the trade of conjugality was threatening mankind with premature extinction,) and the parson was seen walking before his shop, ready to couple you for a dram of gin or a roll of tobacco."

"Those were the times for getting married," exclaimed Bob, "no affidavits, certificates, and exposures at church doors!"

"No," continued Sparkle, "those are signs of altered times. A witty wigmaker adopted the sign of Absolom hanging to a tree, with King David lamenting at a distance, who was represented with a label issuing from his mouth, containing these words--

"O Absolom! my Son! my Son!

Had'st thou a peruke worn, thou had'st not been undone."

This sign, if I remember right, was to be seen a few years since in Union-street, Borough, and is not uncommon even now in France, where you may also find the 'Cochon sans Tete,' (the pig without a head,) which is generally a restaurateur's sign, indicating that 'good pork is here--the useless animal's head is off,' ill.u.s.trative of the Negro's opinion of a pig in England--"de pig," said Mungo, "is de only gentleman in England--man workee, woman workee, horse workee, a.s.s workee, ox workee, and dog workee--pig do nothing but eat and sleep--pig derefore de only gentleman in England.'"

~~399~~~ The conversation increased in interest as they proceeded, and Tallyho was all attention; for it must be observed, that as his inquiry had occasioned it, he was willing to listen to all that could be advanced on the subject; and the Hon. Tom Dashall determined to have his share in the explanation.

"The 'Man in the Moon,'" said he, "is derived from the old observation, that a tipsy person is 'in the wind,' or 'in the moon,' (a lunatic.) The sign may therefore be thought to give this advice, 'Here is good drink, gentlemen, walk in and taste it; it will make you as happy as the man in the moon; that is to say, steep your senses in forgetfulness.'--'The Bag of Nails' was the sign of an Inn at Chelsea, which may perhaps be noticed as the _ne plus ultra_ of ludicrous corruption, having originally been a group of _Baccha.n.a.ls_."

Here risibility could no longer be restrained, and a general laugh ensued.

"A group of Baccha.n.a.ls, however," continued Tom, "is certainly not an out of the way sign for an Inn, nor do I conceive its corruption so very _outre'_, when we look at others that have suffered much stranger metamorphoses; for who would have thought that time could have performed such wonderful changes as to have transformed a view of Boulogne Harbour into a Black Bull, and a tremendous mouth sufficiently large to swallow its neighbours, horns and all; or the name La Belle Sauvage, or Beautiful Savage, into a bell, and a gigantic wild man of the woods."

"Then again," said Sparkle, "taking up the subject, "the pole and bason, though no longer the exhibited emblems of a barber's occupation in London, are still very often to be met with in its environs and in the country, where they are ostentatiously protruded from the front of the house, and denote that one of those facetious and intelligent individuals, who will crop your head or mow your beard, 'dwelleth here.'

Like all other signs, that of the barber is of remote antiquity, and has been the subject of many learned conjectures: some have conceived it to originate from the word poll, or head; but the true intention of the party-coloured staff, was to indicate that the master of the shop practised surgery, and could breathe a vein, as well as shave a beard; such a staff being to this day used by pract.i.tioners, and put into the hand of the patient while undergoing the operation of phlebotomy: the white band, which no doubt you have observed encompa.s.sing the staff, was meant to represent the fillet, thus elegantly twined about it.

~~400~~~ "And this," said Sparkle, "appears to be the most reasonable conjecture of any I ever heard, as it is well known the two businesses were in former times incorporated together, and the practiser was termed 'A Barber Surgeon.' Then as to their utility: the choice of a witty device, or splendid enluminure, was formerly thought of great consequence to a young beginner in the world; and I remember reading of an Innkeeper at Ca.s.sel, who having considerably profited by his numerous customers under the sign of 'The Grey a.s.s,' supposing himself well established in his trade and his house, began to be tired of the vulgar sign over his door, and availed himself of the arrival of the Landgrave of Hesse, to make (as he thought) a very advantageous change. In an evil hour, therefore, 'The Grey a.s.s' was taken down and thrown aside, in order to give place to a well painted and faithful likeness of the Prince, which was subst.i.tuted for it as a most loyal sign.

"A small and almost unfrequented house in the same town, immediately took up the discarded sign, and speculatively hoisted 'The Grey a.s.s.'

What was the consequence? Old codgers, married men with scolding Avives at home, straggling young fellows, and all the 'fraternity of free topers,' resorted to the house, filled the tap-room, crammed the parlour, and a.s.sailed the bar: the Grey a.s.s had the run, and was all the vogue; whilst the venerable Prince of Hesse swung mournfully and deserted at the other place, and enticed no visitors, foreign or domestic; for it should be observed, that 'The Grey a.s.s' had such reputation all over Germany, that every foreign n.o.bleman or gentleman who came to Ca.s.sel, was sure to order his coach or chaise to be driven to the inn of that name; and this order of course was still continued, for how was it to be known by travellers coming from Vienna, Hungary, or Bohemia, that a certain innkeeper at Ca.s.sel had altered his sign? To the inn, therefore, which was denominated 'The Grey a.s.s,' they still went.

"What could the poor deserted innkeeper do in such a case? To deface the fine portrait of his master, would have been high treason; yet losing his customers on the other hand was downright starvation. In this cruel dilemma he dreamt of a new scheme, and had it executed.

~~401~~~ The portrait of the Prince was preserved, but he had written under it, in large characters,

'This is the Original Grey a.s.s.'