The Forest Monster of Oz Part 4

"_Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs!_" everyone responded in unison.

They all began to feel a little better to know that perhaps the dreadful spider-creature may not be so formidable after all. It was difficult to imagine how he could possibly stand up to a ferocious pack of Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs. Of course, the next thing that must be done would be to negotiate with the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs and see if they would be willing to take on the monster. The little group was so engrossed in mulling this over that they did not notice a new visitor in their midst. It was Tweaty who first noticed him and nudged Nibbles in the ribs. Nibbles looked up to observe the strangest-looking little chap that he had ever set eyes on. He was a sort of miniature Fred Flintstone--short and pudgy. But he had a nose to beat all noses! It wasn't that it was long or funny shaped or anything. It was just big (and I really mean BIG!). Anyway, when Tweaty poked Nibbles in the ribs, it was a pretty hard poke. And Nibbles let out quite a yell. Everyone turned to look, and saw the stranger.

"Excuse me," said the stranger. "I didn't mean to intrude. But I saw everyone here having a meeting and I didn't want to interrupt. However, since I now have your undivided attention, I feel duty-bound to convey the reason for my being here in the hopes that you will not consider it an intrusion on your privacy."

"Well, he is certainly polite," commented Hootsey. "It is my considered opinion that we should hear what he has to say."

"By all means," everyone said, nodding in unison.

"Well, my mission is really with Queen Ozma. You see, my people have encountered some border skirmishes with our neighbors to the north and we were hoping that Queen Ozma could use her good offices and apply her diplomatic powers of persuasion to encourage them to retreat back into their own territory. You see, they are very aggressive in nature; whereas we are a very pa.s.sive people."

"Might I ask if they have made any formal declaration of hostilities?"

asked the Queen in her best adult voice.

"Well, no. Not exactly," responded the little chap. "Perhaps the best way of clarifying the situation would be for me to read this copy of a recent speech our President gave to our parliamentary congress." With that, he pulled out a rolled-up ma.n.u.script from his coat pocket with a flourish and began to read;

"'Ladies and Gentlemen: I have called this emergency session of the Five Hundredth and Eighteenth Parliamentary Congress to inform you of some very disturbing developments along our northern border. As president of the Sniffer Nation, I need not remind you of the delicate nature of our highly sensitive olfactory organs--our noses. And would you believe that our so-called friendly northern neighbors--the Stinkfoots--have recently seen fit to ignore all previous treaties and sense of common decency!

They have caused great distress among our border residents by not only building new residential dwellings right smack up against the border, but have blatantly crossed the border in ever increasing numbers and brazenly thumbed their ridiculously small noses at Sniffer citizens who were unfortunate enough to cross their paths. They have also been observed taking soil samples from our rich bottom land. The reasons for this are now known to us. You will be shocked to the core when I reveal this to you in a moment. In the meantime many of our border residents have become so overwhelmed and nauseated by the smell of the Stinkfoots that they have moved lock stock and barrel to the city. I immediately dashed off a letter of protest to the Stinkfoot President, demanding an immediate withdrawal to the previously negotiated line of demarcation two miles north of the border.'

"I do not wish to alarm our citizens to the point of panic, but I shall now read to you their President's reply:

"'To President Humongous Schnozzle; distinguished Members of the Five Hundredth and Eighteenth Parliamentary Congress of the Sniffer Nation; and to all of the humble citizens of your fair land.

"'First, let me apologize for not entering into new negotiations regarding our present expansion. But due to a severe blight on our stinkweed crop, which as you know is our staple diet, our people are becoming severely malnourished. I'm sure that you are all well aware that we are greatly dependent on the stinkweed plant for many purposes, the least of which is the manufacture of stinkweed pills which we all partake of religiously in order to maintain that rich aroma that permeates our bodies, but which mainly radiates from the area of our feet. As you know, our olfactory senses are virtually nonexistent, but we are aware of a slight essence of this aroma which we find most pleasing.

Unfortunately for others who might stray across our borders, the smell overpowers them in seconds, rendering any potential invader helpless.

Now, as a result of the factors I have just presented to you, we find your bottom land by our northern borders to be extremely rich in nutrients that the stinkweed plant needs to flourish, and preliminary experimental results indicate that stinkweed plants grown in this environment are completely immune to the blight that is wiping out our crop. Therefore, we have no option but to take as much of your land as will insure the very survival of the proud nation that we are. That is why we did not inform you formally or informally. The matter is simply not negotiable.

"'Sincerely

"'Stinky McFoot President (Past, Present and Future) of Stinkfootland

"'P.S.--It is not our fault that the Sniffer people have such big noses that their sense of smell is ultra sensitive to our presence.'"

The little group had fallen silent. "You know," said Elephant to Ozma.

"We are greatly sympathetic to their predicament. However, the situation with the Stinkfoots and the Sniffers is diverting us from our real problem--which is that huge, furry, ugly, filthy putrid monstrosity who calls himself a spider."

"That's very true," said Ozma. "But remember, we have to negotiate with the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs before we can do anything. In the meantime, the President of the Sniffer Nation has asked our help and we simply cannot refuse. He and his people are in a real bind."

"I'll be in a real bind if that monster attacks me," snapped Elephant.

"I'll be bound up in his giant web and devoured to death."

"Now don't you worry," Ozma replied, reaching up to pat Elephant's trunk. "We won't let anything happen to you."

Her answer must have satisfied Elephant, because he wrapped his trunk around her waist and hoisted her up to his back. Then he walked down to the stream and took a long drink. As they returned to join the group, Hootsey was clearing his throat and proceeded to speak with pure wisdom dripping from every word. "I have been thinking..."

Before he could continue, Lisa interrupted him. "I can see that you've been thinking because smoke is coming out of your ears." Of course she had a twinkle in her eyes when she said this, but Hootsey did not see the humor of it.

"Well that's very funny, Ha! Ha!" he said dryly. "I'm dying of laughter, Ho! Ho! Ho!" After he finished glaring at Lisa, he continued ... "So, anyway, as I was saying," again glaring at Lisa, "_before I was so rudely interrupted!_ There is great diversity in Oz. I mean, there are so many different kinds of people, yet for the most part we all get along fairly well. Oh, we have our differences of opinion. No question about it. But we seem to resolve them without too much upheaval. Well, most of the time. Anyway, the point is--"

At that, Tweaty interrupted. "I can see immediately that you have never been to Chilepepperland."

"And where, pray tell, is Chilepepperland?" enquired Hootsey with a hint of cynicism. "And why have I never heard of it?"

"Perhaps you've never heard of it because you're too busy trying to think of wise things to say," interrupted Nibbles. "After all, you have a reputation to uphold."

Hootsey could not be sure if Nibbles was being a "smart alec" or was just paying him a complement.

"Chilepepperland is beyond the great desert," answered Tweaty, "in a very remote region which is surrounded by impenetrable terrain composed of jagged rocks. There is only one narrow pa.s.sageway which twists and turns every which way through the rocks. The sides of the pa.s.sageway are quite sheer. If you were looking down from above, it would just seem like a chasm because you cannot see the path at the bottom. Besides, the road disappears in places where it goes under the rocks. The entrance is completely hidden by p.r.i.c.kly pear bushes which are plentiful in the region. That is why no one has ever heard of Chilepepperland. Because it is basically cut off from civilization."

"How did you discover it?" Elephant asked with genuine curiosity.

"Well," continued Tweaty, "I happened to be flying over the area one day and spotted a group of green chilepeppers having a picnic. They invited me to lunch and told me all about their turbulent history. It seems that Chilepepperland was first occupied by several tribes of red chilepeppers who were, for the most part, peace-loving. Oh, they had occasional small skirmishes among themselves. But they lived in relative harmony for many many years; living off the land which they treated with great reverence because it provided all their food. They also had great respect for the animal kingdom. They were never wasteful; giving constant thanks to the great spirit who, they believed, watched over them and provided for them abundantly. They believed in sharing their bounty with one another, and this they did frequently with great ceremony. Then one fateful day, the first group of yellow chilepeppers arrived from a foreign sh.o.r.e. At first there was a mutual understanding between the newcomers and the indigenous people. The red chilepeppers were very helpful in a.s.sisting the newcomers to adapt to their new surroundings. In return, they were given trinkets that sparkled, such as colored gla.s.s beads, hand mirrors and such, the like of which they'd never set eyes on before. The red chilepeppers were an innocent people, really quite primitive compared to the sophisticated so-called civilized newcomers who, incidentally, were very quick to take advantage of the childlike trust the red chilepeppers displayed in their early contacts. They moved quickly to take full advantage of these simple trustful souls. And as more and more yellow chilepeppers arrived, they moved across the country taking whatever land they needed without any regard for the previous occupants. This lead to much fighting and eventual total conquest of the red chilepeppers who were forced to give up their beautiful lands and moved to less desirable areas. This broke their spirit, for they were once a very proud people--roaming at will the vast prairies and forests. And to this day they remain second-cla.s.s citizens, really. Never able to a.s.similate into the world of the yellow chilepeppers, nor ever able to return to the total freedom they once knew."

"That has to be the saddest story I've ever heard," said Elephant.

"Those yellow chilepeppers are just rotten dogs! How could they treat their fellow chilepeppers that way just because they were red instead of yellow?"

"I a.s.sume that they were uncomfortable with people who they considered 'different,'" answered Ozma. "Also, they wanted the best land for themselves."

"Anyway, that's not all," continued Tweaty. "After they took those lush lands away from the rightful owners, they desecrated much of it over the years, seeing it only as something to take from and to pour harsh chemicals into for various reasons of their own. The red chilepeppers had always blessed the land, given it thanks for its bounty and replenished it when they took from it. Yet the yellow chilepeppers considered them primitive and savage. And that's still not all! The green chilepeppers went on to tell me about the treatment that _they_ received at the hands of the yellow chilepeppers. It seems that they also lived in a land of their own far away across the Nonestic Ocean.

One day a group of yellow chilepeppers, who were visiting the area in their s.h.i.+p, came ash.o.r.e and captured some of them and took them back to Chilepepperland and sold them to plantation owners in the southern part of Chilepepperland ..."

"Oh, come on!" said Nibbles, who had been very silent all this time.

"You can't sell people."

"In those days you could," Tweaty responded. "At least, according to the green chilepeppers I talked to. They not only sold the people they captured as slaves, but they went back again and again to capture more green chilepeppers and sold them, too. And by the way, a lot of the green chilepeppers died in the terrible voyage en route."

"But how could the leaders of the yellow chilepeppers allow this to happen?" asked Ozma. "I would never allow even an unkind remark to pa.s.s between them if I were their leader. And I would have made the yellow chilepeppers take the green chilepeppers back to their own people immediately."

"Well, as a matter of fact," continued Tweaty, "the yellow chilepeppers'

leader lived in the north, and he thought very poorly of this arrangement. A lot of other people agreed with him, and he abolished slavery forever from the land. But it caused the yellow chilepeppers to fight among themselves and, to this day, some yellow chilepeppers still do not consider the green chilepeppers to be equal in status to themselves--and can be quite discriminating in their treatment of them.

That is, when they can get away with it. They even confine them economically and socially to areas that are less desirable to live.

Quite naturally, this causes great resentment among many of the green chilepeppers and sometimes their anger is unleashed in unfortunate ways.

This in turn causes an even greater chasm between the two groups."

"How terrible!" Elephant said. "Chilepepperland sounds like a horrible place to live! I hope I never even have to visit there."

"It sounds to me," said Ozma, "that if every single chilepepper who lives in Chilepepperland really wanted to, they could live in Peace and Love and Harmony alongside each other forever and ever. And then it would be a perfectly wonderful place to live."

"The problem as I see it," said Hootsey, looking as wise as he could, "is that for every chilepepper of whatever color whose heart is filled with love and kindness for his fellows, there are probably several who cannot generate those feelings within themselves. So I predict that the unfortunate state of affairs in that dark land will continue for quite some time to come. It's a very negative prognosis, I know. But the acc.u.mulated wisdom I have acquired over many years tells me that this is so."

"I know one thing," said Lisa. "The people who live in the land where Dorothy comes from are much too intelligent to allow such foolishness to exist there."

The other members of the little group turned to each other knowingly, and slowly shook their heads. For they knew that the unfortunate fact of the matter was that the land where Dorothy came from had had a similar history. In fact, even as I write these words, there are people in the mortal lands who have lost their homes and all of their worldly possessions, and many, their lives, simply because they had the misfortune to be born different in some way than their neighbors.

Everyone became very quiet as he a.s.similated all that had been said.

Ozma spoke first. "I would like to read, if I may, a poem from a little book given to me by a dear friend. I was reminded of this poem when Tweaty spoke of the difficulties the green chilepepper people encountered. The poem was written by a mortal human named William Blake.

It is called _The Little Black Boy_."

_My mother bore me in the southern wild And I am black, but O my soul is white White as an angel is the English child But I am black, as if bereaved of light.