The Master of Mrs. Chilvers Part 18

SIGSBY So it is. If she wins the election and claims the seat.

Do you think the Cabinet will want him? Their latest addition compelled to appeal to the House of Commons to fight for him against his own womenfolk. [Grunts.] He'll be the laughing-stock of the whole country.

ST. HERBERT Do you know for certain that they mean to claim the seat?

SIGSBY "Wait and see" is their answer.

LAMB Hasn't Chilvers any idea?

SIGSBY Can't get him to talk. Don't think he's seen her since that s.h.i.+ndy over the Deputation.

LAMB Humph!

SIGSBY Even if she herself wished to draw back, the others would overrule her.

LAMB I'm not so sure of that. She's got a way of shutting her mouth that reminds me of my old woman.

SIGSBY The arrangement, as he explained it to me, was that the whole thing was to end with the polling. It was to have been a mere joke, a mere ballon d'essai. The mistake he made was thinking he could depend on her.

LAMB Guess she made the same mistake. You can fight and shake hands afterwards; it doesn't go with kissing.

SIGSBY Man and woman were not made to fight. It was never intended.

[The woman's "Ma.r.s.eillaise" has been taken up by the crowd. The chorus has been reached.]

Oh, d.a.m.n your row! [He slams to the window; it was ajar.]

[JAWBONES has entered, with his purchases.]

[Turning from window he sees JAWBONES, goes to meet him.] Couldn't they do anything?

JAWBONES [He has bought a new hat; has also brought back the remains. He shakes his head.] No good for anything else but a memento.

SIGSBY [With a grunt he s.n.a.t.c.hes the thing and flings it into a corner. Tries on the new one.]

JAWBONES 'Ow's it feel?

[SIGSBY, with the help of JAWBONES, attends to his appearance.]

LAMB [To ST. HERBERT.] No use talking to her, I suppose?

ST. HERBERT [Shrugs his shoulders.] She'll do what she imagines to be her duty. Women are so uncivilised.

[A burst of cheering is heard. A shrill male voice: "Three cheers for Winston Churchill!" It is followed by an explosion of yells.]

ST. HERBERT Who's that?

LAMB [He has opened the window.] Phoebe Mogton!

SIGSBY What a family!

[JANET has entered.]

JANET Is that Mrs. Chilvers? [To LAMB and ST. HERBERT.] Good evening.

ST. HERBERT Good evening.

LAMB No; it's her sister.

JANET I wonder she doesn't come.

SIGSBY What are the latest figures? Do you know?

[PHOEBE enters.]

JANET I forget the numbers. Mrs. Chilvers is forty ahead.

PHOEBE Forty ahead! [To JANET.] Did you order the band?

LAMB [To SIGSBY.] The Dock division was against him to a man; that s.h.i.+pping Bill has upset them.

JANET No. I didn't think we should want the band.

PHOEBE Not want it! My dear girl -

JANET Perhaps Lady Mogton has ordered it, I'll ask her. [She goes out.]

SIGSBY Hadn't you better "Wait and see"? It isn't over yet.

PHOEBE We may as well have it! It can play the Dead March in "Saul" if you win. [She laughs.]

SIGSBY [Grunts. To LAMB.] Are you coming?

[He goes out.]

LAMB Yes. [To ST. HERBERT.] Are you coming?

ST. HERBERT Hardly worth while; nearly over, isn't it?

LAMB It generally takes an hour and a half. [He looks at his watch.] Another forty minutes. Perhaps less. [He goes out.]

PHOEBE I do love to make him ratty. Wish it wasn't poor old Geoff we were fighting.

ST. HERBERT When I marry, it will be the womanly woman.

PHOEBE No chance for me then?

ST. HERBERT I don't say that. I can see you taking your political opinions from your husband, and thinking them your own.