LightNovesOnl.com

The Constant Couple Part 11

The Constant Couple - LightNovelsOnl.com

You're reading novel online at LightNovelsOnl.com. Please use the follow button to get notifications about your favorite novels and its latest chapters so you can come back anytime and won't miss anything.

_Sir H._ What is your trifling business of importance, pray, sweet sir?

_Clinch. sen._ Pray, sir, are the roads deep between this and Paris?

_Sir H._ Why that question, sir?

_Clinch. sen._ Because I design to go to the jubilee, sir. I understand that you are a traveller, sir; there is an air of travel in the tie of your cravat, sir: there is indeed, sir----I suppose, sir, you bought this lace in Flanders.

_Sir H._ No, sir, this lace was made in Norway.

_Clinch. sen._ Norway, sir?

_Sir H._ Yes, sir, of the shavings of deal boards.

_Clinch. sen._ That's very strange now, 'faith--Lace made of the shavings of deal boards! 'Egad, sir, you travellers see very strange things abroad, very incredible things abroad, indeed. Well, I'll have a cravat of the very same lace before I come home.

_Sir H._ But, sir, what preparations have you made for your journey?

_Clinch. sen._ A case of pocket-pistols for the bravos, and a swimming-girdle.

_Sir H._ Why these, sir?

_Clinch. sen._ Oh, lord, sir, I'll tell you----Suppose us in Rome now; away goes I to some ball--for I'll be a mighty beau. Then, as I said, I go to some ball, or some bear-baiting--'tis all one, you know--then comes a fine Italian _bona roba_, and plucks me by the sleeve: Signior Angle, Signior Angle--She's a very fine lady, observe that--Signior Angle, says she--Signiora, says I, and trips after her to the corner of a street, suppose it Russel Street, here, or any other street: then, you know, I must invite her to the tavern; I can do no less----There up comes her bravo; the Italian grows saucy, and I give him an English dowse on the face: I can box, sir, box tightly; I was a 'prentice, sir----But then, sir, he whips out his stiletto, and I whips out my bull-dog--slaps him through, trips down stairs, turns the corner of Russel Street again, and whips me into the amba.s.sador's train, and there I'm safe as a beau behind the scenes.

_Sir H._ Is your pistol charged, sir?

_Clinch. sen._ Only a brace of bullets, that's all, sir.

_Sir H._ 'Tis a very fine pistol, truly; pray let me see it.

_Clinch. sen._ With all my heart, sir.

_Sir H._ Harkye, Mr. Jubilee, can you digest a brace of bullets?

_Clinch. sen._ Oh, by no means in the world, sir.

_Sir H._ I'll try the strength of your stomach, however. Sir, you're a dead man. [_Presenting the Pistol to his Breast._

_Clinch. sen._ Consider, dear sir, I am going to the Jubilee: when I come home again, I am a dead man at your service.

_Sir H._ Oh, very well, sir; but take heed you are not so choleric for the future.

_Clinch. sen._ Choleric, sir! Oons, I design to shoot seven Italians in a week, sir.

_Sir H._ Sir, you won't have provocation.

_Clinch. sen._ Provocation, sir! Zouns, sir, I'll kill any man for treading upon my corns: and there will be a devilish throng of people there: they say that all the princes of Italy will be there.

_Sir H._ And all the fops and fiddlers in Europe----But the use of your swimming girdle, pray sir?

_Clinch. sen._ Oh lord, sir, that's easy. Suppose the s.h.i.+p cast away; now, whilst, other foolish people are busy at their prayers, I whip on my swimming girdle, clap a month's provision in my pocket, and sails me away, like an egg in a duck's belly. Well, sir, you must pardon me now, I'm going to see my mistress. [_Exit._

_Sir H._ This fellow's an accomplished a.s.s before he goes abroad. Well, this Angelica has got into my heart, and I cannot get her out of my head. I must pay her t'other visit. [_Exit._

SCENE II.

LADY DARLING'S _House_.

_Enter_ ANGELICA, LADY DARLING, CLINCHER JUNIOR, _and_ d.i.c.kY.

_Lady D._ This is my daughter, cousin.

_d.i.c.ky._ Now sir, remember your three sc.r.a.pes.

_Clinch. jun._ [_Saluting_ ANGELICA.] One, two, three, your humble servant. Was not that right, d.i.c.ky?

_d.i.c.ky._ Ay, 'faith, sir; but why don't you speak to her?

_Clinch. jun._ I beg your pardon, d.i.c.ky; I know my distance. Would you have me to speak to a lady at the first sight?

_d.i.c.ky._ Ay sir, by all means; the first aim is the surest.

_Clinch. jun._ Now for a good jest, to make her laugh heartily----By Jupiter Ammon, I'll give her a kiss. [_Goes towards her._

_Enter_ WILDAIR, _interposing_.

_Sir H._ 'Tis all to no purpose; I told you so before; your pitiful five guineas will never do. You may go; I'll outbid you.

_Clinch. jun._ What the devil! the madman's here again.

_Lady D._ Bless me, cousin, what d'ye mean? Affront a gentleman of his quality in my house?

_Clinch. jun._ Quality!--Why, madam, I don't know what you mean by your madmen, and your beaux, and your quality----they're all alike, I believe.

_Lady D._ Pray, sir, walk with me into the next room.

[_Exit_ LADY DARLING, _leading_ CLINCHER, d.i.c.kY _following_.

_Ang._ Sir, if your conversation be no more agreeable than 'twas the last time, I would advise you to make your visit as short as you can.

_Sir H._ The offences of my last visit, madam, bore their punishment in the commission; and have made me as uneasy till I receive pardon, as your ladys.h.i.+p can be till I sue for it.

_Ang._ Sir Harry, I did not well understand the offence, and must therefore proportion it to the greatness of your apology; if you would, therefore, have me think it light, take no great pains in an excuse.

_Sir H._ How sweet must the lips be that guard that tongue! Then, madam, no more of past offences; let us prepare for joys to come. Let this seal my pardon. [_Kisses her Hand._

_Ang._ Hold, sir: one question, Sir Harry, and pray answer plainly--D'ye love me?

Click Like and comment to support us!

RECENTLY UPDATED NOVELS

About The Constant Couple Part 11 novel

You're reading The Constant Couple by Author(s): George Farquhar. This novel has been translated and updated at LightNovelsOnl.com and has already 515 views. And it would be great if you choose to read and follow your favorite novel on our website. We promise you that we'll bring you the latest novels, a novel list updates everyday and free. LightNovelsOnl.com is a very smart website for reading novels online, friendly on mobile. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact us at [email protected] or just simply leave your comment so we'll know how to make you happy.