The Rolliad Part 6

To return from the digression into which a subject so seducing has involuntarily betrayed us. The reader will recollect, that in our last we left MERLIN gratifying the curiosity of ROLLO, with a view of that a.s.sembly of which his Descendant is one day destined to become so conspicuous an ornament. After having given the due preference to the India-Bench, he proceeds to point out to him others of the most distinguished supporters of the present virtuous administration.

Having already mentioned the most confidential friends of the minister, he now introduces us to the acquaintance of an active young Member, who has upon all occasions been pointedly severe upon the n.o.ble Lord in the blue ribbon, and who is remarkable for never having delivered his sentiments upon any subject, whether relating to the East-Indies, the Reform of Parliament, or the Westminster Election, without a copious dissertation upon the principles, causes, and conduct of the American war.

Lo! BEAYFOY rises, friend to soft repose; Whose gentle accents prompt the house to dose: His cadence just, a general sleep provokes, Almost as quickly as SIR RICHARD's jokes.

Thy slumbers, NORTH, he strives in vain to break, When all are sleeping, thou would'st scarce awake; Though from his lips severe invectives fell, Sharp as the acid he delights to sell.

In explanation of the last line, it may be, perhaps, necessary to apprise our readers, that this accomplished orator, although the elegance of his diction, and smoothness of his manner, partake rather of the properties of oil, is in his commercial capacity, a dealer in vinegar. The speaker alluded to, under the name of Sir Richard, is probably the same whom our author, upon the former occasion, stiled--

Sleep-giving poet of a sleepless night.

The limits of our plan will not allow us to enlarge upon the various beauties with which this part of the work abounds; we cannot, however, omit the pathetic description of the SPEAKER's situation, nor the admirable comparison of Lord MAHON preying on his patience, to the vulture devouring the liver of Prometheus. The necessity of the Speaker's continuing in the chair while the House sits, naturally reminds our author of his favourite Virgil:

------sedet aeternumque sedebit Infelix Theseus.

There CORNEWELL sits, and, oh unhappy fate!

Must sit for ever through the long debate; Save, when compell'd by Nature's sovereign will, Sometimes to empty, and sometimes to fill.

Painful pre-eminence! he hears, 'tis true, FOX, NORTH, and BURKE, but hears SIR JOSEPH too.

Then follows the simile--

Like sad PROMETHEUS, fasten'd to his rock, In vain he looks for pity to the clock; In vain the' effects of strengthening porter tries, And nods to BELLAMY for fresh supplies; While vulture-like, the dire MAHON appears, And, far more savage, rends his suff'ring ears.

_NUMBER X._

Amongst the various pretensions to critical approbation, which are to be found in the excellent and never-sufficiently to be admired production, which is the object of these comments, there is one that will strike the cla.s.sical observer as peculiarly prominent and praise-worthy:--namely, the uncommon ability shown by the author, in the selection of his heroes. The _personae_ that are introduced in the course of this poem, are characters that speak for themselves. The very mention of their names is a summons to approbation; and the relation of their history, if given in detail, would prove nothing more than a lengthened panegyric. Who that has heard of the names of a Jenkinson, a Robinson, or a Dundas, has not in the same breath heard also what they are? This is the secret of our author's science and excellence. It is this that enables him to omit the dull detail of introductory explanation, and to fasten upon his business, if one may use the expression, slap-dash and at once.

Semper ad eventum festinat, et in medias res, Non secus ac notas auditorum rapit. HOR.

Homer himself yields, in this respect, to our author; for who would not perceive the evident injustice done to the modern bard, if we were to place the wisdom of an Ulysses on any compet.i.tion with the experience of a Pitt; to mention the bully Ajax, as half so genuine a bully, as the bully Thurlow; if we were to look upon Nestor as having a quarter of the interesting circ.u.mlocution of the ambiguous Nugent; to consider Achilles as possessed of half the anger of a ROLLE; or to suppose for a moment, that the famous p?da?-???? of antiquity, could run nearly so fast in a rage, as the member for Devon in a fright; to conceive the yellow-haired Paris to have had half the beauty of the ten times more yellow-haired Villiers; to look upon Agamemnon as in any degree so dictatorial to his chiefs as the high-minded Richmond; to consider the friends.h.i.+p of Patroclus, as possessed of a millionth portion of the disinterested attachment of a Dundas; to have any conception that the chosen band of Thessalian Myrmidons, were to be any way compared, in point of implicit submission, to the still more dextrously chosen band of the Minister in the British House of Commons. Or--but there is no end to so invidious a comparison; and we will not expose poor Homer, to the farther mortification of pursuing it.

MERLIN proceeds in his relation, and fixes upon an object that will not, we believe, prove any disgrace to our author's general judgment of selection; namely, that worthy Baronet and universally admired wit, Sir RICHARD HILL, of whom it may be truly said,

------Pariter pietate jocisque, Egregius.

He looks upon him as an individual meriting every distinction, and has thought proper therefore, in the last edition of the ROLLIAD, though the Baronet had been [1]slightly touched upon before, to enlarge what was then said, into a more particular description. Speaking of Sir Richard's style of elocution, our author observes--

With quaint formality of sacred s.m.u.t, His rev'rend jokes see pious RICHARD cut.

Let meaner talents from the Bible draw Their faith, their morals These, and Those their law!

His lively genius finds in holy writ A richer mine of unsuspected wit.

What never Jew, what never Christian taught, What never fir'd one sectary's heated thought, What not e'en [2]ROWLAND dream'd, he saw alone, And to the wondering senate first made known; How bright o'er mortal jokes the Scriptures s.h.i.+ne Resplendent Jest-book of bon-mots divine.

This description will be readily felt, and we trust, not less cordially admired, by all those who may have enjoyed the pleasure of auricular evidence to Sir Richard's oratory. The thought of converting the Bible into a _jest book_, is, we believe, quite new; and not more original in itself, than characteristically just in its application to the speaker. We all know that Saul affected insanity for the sake of religion, in the early periods of our holy faith; and why so great an example should not be imitated in later times, we leave it to the prophane to shew.

We know not whether it is worth observing, that the eloquence of this ill.u.s.trious family is not confined to Sir Richard alone; but that his brother inherits the same gift, and, if possible, in a greater degree.

It is said, there is an intention of divesting this latter gentleman of his clerical robe, and bringing him into the senate, as the avowed compet.i.tor of our modern Cromwell. If this happy event should luckily take place, we shall literally see the observation then realized, that the Ministry will give to their wicked enemies, on the other side of the House, what they have so long wanted and deserved.

"------A _Rowland_ for their _Oliver_."

This, however, by the way. Our author resumes his subject with the following spirited apostrophe:--

Methinks I see him from the Bench arise, His words all keenness, but all meek his eyes; Define the good religion might produce, Practise its highest excellence-abuse; And with his tongue, that two-edg'd weapon, show, At once the double worth of JOB and JOE.

_Job_, as some of our more learned readers may know, is a book in the Old Testament, and is used here _per synechdochen_, as a part for the whole. Nothing can be more natural, than the preference given to this book, on this occasion, as Sir Richard is well known in his speeches to be so admirable an auxiliary to its precepts. The person of the name of _Joe_, who has received so laconic a mention in the last line of the above extract, will be recognized by the critical and the intelligent, as the same individual who distinguished himself so eminently in the sixteenth century, as a writer and a wit, namely, Mr. Joseph Miller; a great genius, and an author, avowedly in the highest estimation with our learned Baronet.

The business of the composition goes on.--It is evident, however, the poet was extremely averse to quit a subject upon which his congenial talents reposed so kindly. He does not leave Sir Richard, therefore, without the following finished and most high-wrought compliment:

With wit so various, piety so odd, Quoting by turns from Miller and from G.o.d; Shall no distinction wait thy honour'd name?

No lofty epithet transmit thy fame?

Forbid it wit, from mirth refin'd away!

Forbid it Scripture, which thou mak'st so gay!

SCIPIO, we know, was AFRICa.n.u.s call'd, RICHARD styl'd LONG-SHANKS--CHARLES surnam'd the BALD; Shall these for petty merits be renown'd, And no proud phrase, with panegyric sound, Swell thy short name, great HILL?--Here take thy due, And hence be call'd the' SCRIPTURAL KILLIGREW.

The administration of baptism to adults, is quite consonant to Sir Richard's creed; and we are perfectly satisfied, there is not a Member in the House of Commons that will not stand sponsor for him on this honourable occasion. Should any one ask him in future,--Who gave you that name? Sir Richard may fairly and truly reply, My G.o.dfathers, &c. and quote the whole of the lower a.s.sembly, as coming under that description.

MERLIN, led, as may easily be supposed, by sympathy of rank, talents, and character, now pointed his wand to another worthy baronet, hardly less worthy of distinction than the last personage himself, namely, Sir JOSEPH MAWBEY. Of him the author sets out with saying,

Let this, ye wise, be ever understood, SIR JOSEPH is as witty as he's good.--

Here, for the first time, the annotators upon this immortal poem, find themselves compelled, in critical justice to own, that the author has not kept entire pace with the original which he has affected to imitate. The distich, of which the above is a parody, was composed by the worthy hero of this part of the ROLLIAD, the amiable Sir Joseph himself, and runs thus:

Ye ladies, of your hearts beware: SIR JOSEPH's false as he is fair.

How kind, and how discreet a caution! This couplet, independent of its other merits, possesses a recommendation not frequently found in poetry, the transcendant ornament of Truth. How far, indeed, the falshood of this respectable individual has been displayed in his gallantries, it is not the province of sober criticism to enquire.

We take up the a.s.sertion with a large comprehension, and with a stricter eye to general character--

SIR JOSEPH's false as he is fair.------

Is it necessary to challenge, what no one will be absurd enough to give--a contradiction to so acknowledged a truth? Or is it necessary to state to the fas.h.i.+onable reader, that whatever may be the degree of Sir Joseph's boasted falshood, it cannot surpa.s.s the fairness of his complexion? The position, therefore, is what logicians call convertible: nothing can equal his falshood but his fairness; nothing his fairness but his falshood.--Incomparable!

Proceeding to a description of his eloquence, he says,

A sty of pigs, though all at once it squeaks, Means not so much as MAWBEY when he speaks; And his'try says, he never yet had bred A pig with such a voice or such a head!

Except, indeed, when he essays to joke; And then his wit is truly pig-in-poke.

Describing Sir Joseph's acquisitions as a scholar, the author adds,

His various knowledge I will still maintain, He is indeed a knowing man in grain.

Some commentators have invidiously suggested, that the last line of this couplet should be printed thus,

He is indeed a knowing man-in grain:

a.s.signing as their reason, that the phrase in grain evidently alludes to bran, with which Sir Joseph's little grunting commonwealth is supported; and for the discreet and prudent purchase of which our worthy baronet is famous.

Our author concludes his description of this great senator with the following distich:

Such adaptation ne'er was seen before, His trade a hog is, and his wit--a boar.