The Rolliad Part 5

O that for you, in Oriental state, At ease reclin'd to watch the long debate, Beneath the gallery's pillar'd height were spread (With the QUEEN's leave) your WARREN's ivory bed!

The pannels of the gallery too, over the canopy of the bed, are to be ornamented with suitable paintings,

Above, In colours warm with mimic life, The German husband of your WARREN's wife His rival deeds should blazon; and display.

In his blest rule, the glories of your sway.

What singular propriety, what striking beauty must the reader of taste immediately perceive in this choice of a painter to execute the author's design! It cannot be doubted but Mrs. Hastings would exert all her own private and all Major Scott's public influence with _every_ branch of the Legislature, to obtain so ill.u.s.trious a job for the man to whose affection, or to whose want of affection, she owes her present fortunes. The name of this artist is Imhoff; but though he was once honoured with Royal Patronages he is now best remembered from the circ.u.mstance by which our author has distinguished him, of his former relation to Mrs. Hastings.

Then follow the subjects of the paintings, which are selected with the usual judgment of our poet.

Here might the tribes of ROHILCUND expire, And quench with blood their towns, that sink in fire; The Begums there, of pow'r, of wealth forlorn, With female cries their hapless fortune mourn.

Here, hardly rescu'd from his guard, CHEYT SING Aghast should fly; there NUNDCOMAR should swing; Happy for him! if he had borne to see His country beggar'd of the last rupee; Nor call'd those laws, O HASTINGS, on thy head, Which, mock'd by thee, thy slaves alone should dread.

These stories, we presume, are too public to require any explanation.

But if our readers should wish to be more particularly acquainted with them, they will find them in the [1]Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, commonly called the Reports of the Select and Secret Committees, with Appendixes of Letters, Minutes, and Narratives written by Mr. Hastings himself. Or they may consult the History of Alexander the Great, contained, in Major John Scott's narrative of the administration of Mr. Hastings. Though we would rather refer them to the latter work, as in our opinion it is one of the most satisfactory defences ever published; and proves to demonstration, that Mr. Hastings never committed a single act of injustice or cruelty, but he constantly obtained forty or fifty lacks for the Company or himself--That an enquiry into past abuses is an impolitic order; because "much valuable time must be lost, and much odium incurred by the attempt;" and therefore Mr. Hastings of course ought not to have been censured at all, unless he had been censured _before_ he had done any thing to deserve it--That it was right for Mr. Hastings to keep up the good old custom of receiving presents, in defiance of a positive law; because his predecessors had received as large sums when they were authorized by custom, and not prohibited by any law--That Mr. Hastings was justified in disobeying the orders of the Directors, because he could no otherwise have convinced the Country Powers of his superiority over his Masters, which was, and is, absolutely necessary--that, though it may be questioned if Nundcomar was legally condemned, it was proper to execute him, in order to show the justice and impartiality of the Judges in hanging the natives, whom they were sent especially to protect--That a Treaty of Peace between two nations is of no force, if you can get one of the individuals who officially signed it, to consent to the infraction of it--together with many other positions, equally just and novel, both in Ethics and Politics.

But to return to our Poet. MERLIN now drops his apostrophe, and eulogizes the India-bench in the third person for the blessings of Tea and the Commutation Tax. The following pa.s.sage will show our author to be, probably, a much better Grocer than Mr. Pitt; and perhaps little inferior to the Tea-Purchaser's Guide.

What tongue can tell the various kind of Tea?

Of Blacks and Greens, of Hyson and Bohea; With Singlo, Congou, Pekoe, and Souchong: Couslip the fragrant, Gun-powder the strong; And more, all heathenish alike in name, Of humbler some, and some of n.o.bler fame.

The prophet then compares the breakfasts of his own times with those of ours: attributes to the former the intractable spirit of that age; and from the latter fervently prays, like a loyal subject, for the perfect accomplishment of their natural effects; that they may relax the nerves of Englishmen into a proper state of submission to the superior powers. We shall insert the lines at length.

On mighty beef, bedew'd with potent ale, Our Saxons, rous'd at early dawn, regale; And hence a st.u.r.dy, bold, rebellious race, Strength in the frame, and spirit in the face, All sacred right of Sovereign Power defy, For Freedom conquer, or for Freedom die.

Not so their sons, of manners more polite; How would they sicken at the very sight!

O'er Chocolate's rich froth, o'er Coffee's fume, Or Tea's hot tide their noons shall they consume.

But chief, all s.e.xes, every rank and age, Scandal and Tea, more grateful, shall engage; In gilded roofs, beside some hedge in none, On polish'd tables, or the casual stone.

Be _Bloom_ reduc'd; and PITT no more a foe, Ev'n PITT, the favourite of the fair shall grow: Be but _Mundungus_ cheap; on light and air New burthens gladly shall our peasants bear, And boil their peaceful kettles, gentle souls!

Contented,--if no tax be laid on coals.

Aid then, kind Providence, yon' generous bench, With copious draughts the thirsty realm to drench; And oh! thy equal aid let PRESTON find, With [2]_musty-sweet_ and _mouldy-fresh_ combin'd, To palsy half our isles: 'till wan, and weak, Each nerve unstrung, and bloodless every cheek, Head answering head, and noddling thro' the street.

The destin'd change of Britons is complete; Things without will, like India's feeble brood, Or China's shaking Mandarins of wood.

So may the Crown in native l.u.s.tre s.h.i.+ne, And British Kings re-sume their right divine.

We have been thus prolix in giving the whole of this quotation, as we think it glances very finely at the true policy, why it is expedient to encourage the universal consumption of an article, which some factious people have called a pernicious luxury. And our readers, we are persuaded, will agree with us, when we decidedly p.r.o.nounce this as good a defence of the Commutation Tax, as we have yet seen.

We must observe however that our author is probably indebted to the extensive information of Lord Sydney, for the hint of the following couplet:

In gilded roofs, beside some hedge in none, On polish'd tables, or the casual stone.

The Secretary of State in the discussion of the abovementioned tax, very ably calculated the great quant.i.ty of tea consumed under hedges by vagrants, who have no houses; from which he most ingeniously argued to the justice and equity of laying the impost on persons who have houses, whether they consume it or not.

We shall conclude this number, as the Poet concludes the subject, with some animated verses on Mr. FOX and Mr. PITT.

Crown the froth'd Porter, slay the fatted Ox, And give the British meal to British Fox.

But for an Indian minister more fit, Ten cups of purest Padrae pour for PITT, Pure as himself; add sugar too and cream, Sweet as his temper, bland as flows the stream Of his smooth eloquence; then crisply nice The m.u.f.fin toast, or bread and b.u.t.ter slice, Thin as his arguments, that mock the mind, Gone, ere you taste,--no relish left behind.

Where beauteous Brighton overlooks the sea, These be his joys: and STEELE shall make the Tea.

How neat! how delicate! and how unexpected is the allusion in the last couplet! These two lines alone include the substance of whole columns, in the ministerial papers of last summer, on the sober, the chaste, the virtuous, the edifying manner in which the Immaculate Young Man pa.s.sed the recess from public business; not in riot and debauchery, not in gaming, not in attendance on ladies, either modest or immodest, but in drinking Tea with Mr.

Steele, at the Castle in Brighthelmstone. Let future ages read and admire!

[1] We have the highest law authority for this t.i.tle; as well as for calling Mr. Hastings Alexander the Great.

[2] The Tea-dealers a.s.sure us, that Mr. PRESTON's _sweet_ and _fresh_ Teas contain a great part of the _musty_ and _mouldy_ chests, which the Trade rejected.

_NUMBER IX._

In every new edition of this incomparable poem, it has been the invariable practice of the author, to take an opportunity of adverting to such recent circ.u.mstances, as have occurred since the original publication of it relative to any of the ill.u.s.trious characters he has celebrated. The public has lately been a.s.sured that, the Marquis of Graham is elected Chancellor of the University of Glasgow, and has presented that learned body with a complete set of the engravings of Piranesi, an eminent Italian artist; of which we are happy to acquaint the Dilettanti, a few remaining sets are to be purchased at Mr. Alderman Boydell's printshop, in Cheapside, price twelve pounds twelve s.h.i.+llings each. An anecdote reflecting so much honour upon one of the favourite characters of our author, could not pa.s.s unnoticed in the ROLLIAD; and accordingly, in his last edition, we find the following complimentary lines upon the subject:

If right the Bard, whose numbers sweetly flow, That all our knowledge is ourselves to know; A sage like GRAHAM, can the world produce, Who in full senate call'd himself a goose?

The admiring Commons, from the high-born youth, With wonder heard this undisputed truth; Exulting Glasgow claim'd him for her own, And plac'd the prodigy on Learning's throne.

He then alludes to the magnificent present abovementioned, and concludes in that happy vein of alliterative excellence, for which he is so justly admired--

With gorgeous gifts from gen'rous GRAHAM grac'd, Great Glasgow grows the granary of taste.

Our readers will doubtless recollect, that this is not the first tribute of applause paid to the distinguished merit of the public-spirited young n.o.bleman in question. In the first edition of the poem, his character was drawn at length, the many services he has rendered his country were enumerated, and we have lately been a.s.sured by our worthy friend and correspondent, Mr. Malcolm M'Gregor, the ingenious author of the Heroic Epistle to Sir William Chambers, and other valuable poems, that the following spirited verses, recording the ever-memorable circ.u.mstance of his Lords.h.i.+p's having procured for the inhabitants of the Northern extremity of our Island, the inestimable privilege of exempting their posteriors from those ignominious symbols of slavery, vulgarly denominated breeches, are actually universally repeated with enthusiasm, throughout every part of the highlands of Scotland--

Thee, GRAHAM! thee, the frozen Chieftains bless, Who feel thy bounties through their fav'rite dress; By thee they view their rescued country clad In the bleak honours of their long-lost plaid; Thy patriot zeal has bar'd their parts behind To the keen whistlings of the wintry wind; While Lairds the dirk, while la.s.ses bag-pipes prize, And oat-meal cake the want of bread supplies; The scurvy skin, while scaly scabs enrich, While contact gives, and brimstone cures the itch, Each breeze that blows upon those brawny parts, Shall wake thy lov'd remembrance in their hearts; And while they freshen from the Northern blast, So long thy honour, name, and praise shall last.

We need not call to the recollection of the cla.s.sical reader,

Dum juga montis aper, sluvios dum piscis amabit, Semper honos, nomenque tuum laudesque manebunt.

And the reader of taste will not hesitate to p.r.o.nounce, that the copy has much improved upon, and very far surpa.s.sed the original. In these lines we also find the most striking instances of the beauties of alliteration; and however some fastidious critics have affected to undervalue this excellence, it is no small triumph to those of a contrary sentiment to find, that next to our own incomparable author, the most exalted genius of the present age, has not disdained to borrow the a.s.sistance of this ornament, in many pa.s.sages of the beautiful dramatic treasure with which he has recently enriched the stage. Is it necessary for us to add, that it is the new tragedy of the Carmelite to which we allude?--A tragedy the beauties of which, we will venture confidently to a.s.sert, will be admired and felt, when those of Shakespeare, Dryden, Otway, Southerne, and Rowe, shall be no longer held in estimation. As examples of alliterative beauty, we shall select the following:--

The hand of heav'n hangs o'er me and my house, To their untimely graves seven sons swept off.

Again--

So much for tears--tho' twenty years they flow, They wear no channels in a widow's cheek.

The alternate alliteration of the second line, in this instance, seems an improvement upon the art, to the whole merit of which Mr. c.u.mberland is himself unquestionably ent.i.tled.

Afterwards we read,

------Treasures h.o.a.rded up, With carking care, and a long life of thrift.

In addition to the alliterative merit, we cannot here fail to admire the judiciously selected epithet of "_carking_;" and the two lines immediately following, although no example of that merit, should not be omitted:

Now, without interest, or redemption swallow'd, By the devouring bankrupt waves for ever.

How striking is the comparison of the ocean, to a bankrupt swallowing without interest or redemption, the property of his unfortunate creditors! Where shall we find a simile of equal beauty, unless some may possibly judge the following to be so, which is to be found in another part of the same sublime work, of two persons weeping--

------We will sit Like fountain statues, face to face oppos'd, And each to other tell our griefs in tears, Yet neither utter word------

Our readers, we trust, will pardon our having been diverted from the task we have undertaken, by the satisfaction of dwelling on a few of the many beauties of this justly popular and universally admired tragedy, which, in our humble opinion, infinitely surpa.s.ses every other theatrical composition, being in truth an a.s.semblage of every possible dramatic excellence: nor do we believe, that any production, whether of antient or modern date, can exhibit a more uncommon and peculiar selection of language, a greater variety of surprising incidents, a more rapid succession of extraordinary discoveries, a more curious collection of descriptions, similies, metaphors, images, storms, s.h.i.+pwrecks, challenges, and visions, or a more miscellaneous and striking picture of the contending pa.s.sions of love; hatred, piety, madness, rage, jealousy, remorse, and hunger, than this unparalleled performance presents to the admiration of the enraptured spectator. Mr. c.u.mberland has been represented, perhaps unjustly, as particularly jealous of the fame of his cotemporaries, but we are persuaded he will not be offended when, in the ranks of modern writers, we place him second only to the inimitable author of the ROLLIAD.