Untouchable. Part 21

"You know I want you," he said. "We slept too close together for too many nights for you not to know how painfully that is so."

True enough.

"You know I love you. I've told you so on more than one occasion, have I not?"

"Yes, you have," she admitted.

"In the early days of our journey, you mentioned more than once that after you became empress, we would be lovers."

"I did say that." It had seemed like a good idea at the time-and still did, she supposed. Marrying the emperor and keeping Laris as a lover would logically offer the best of both worlds. She'd have all the luxuries any woman could ask for, and Laris in her bed. Such an arrangement would be perfection. So why did the thought give her no happiness at all?

Laris shook his head. "That won't happen, Verity."

"But..."

He showed her with a lift of his eyebrows that he was not finished. "I won't share you. I won't watch you marry another man and then sneak into that man's bed and steal that which is not mine." Laris never lost his temper, so she was surprised to see the fire in his eyes. "You will be a virgin on your wedding night, Verity. You deserve no less. The question only you can answer is who your husband will be. Me or Emperor Jahn?"

Her heart sank and soared at the same time. She couldn't marry a sentinel-could she? Could she trade the life of an empress for a life like the one his parents led? A small and warm home, lots of children, lots of laughter-lots of work.

"I..." she began.

"Don't answer now," Laris said. "It's a big decision, and not one which should be made lightly. I do feel obligated to tell you, in case the thought has crossed your mind, that I will not go home with you to the Northern Province and make being your husband my career, no matter how much money your father has. I am a sentinel, and I plan to make that service my career. It's a good, honest life, and though I will never be rich, I might someday rise through the ranks to a higher station, which would come with more pay and finer benefits. You won't have any of the things an empress might expect to have, but I will always love you."

That said, Laris wrapped his arms around her and pressed his mouth to hers, and he gave her a long, slow, heart-melting kiss that shook her to her toes. She saw stars, her heart pounded, her blood rushed. His lips were soft, not at all demanding or harsh, and she did not want him to ever let her go.

He did let her go, of course, though he held on to her for a moment while she found the strength of her legs and blinked back tears. Empress or sentinel's wife? A palace as home or a small cottage? Love or privilege?

Before she could give Laris her answer-which was not at all difficult to come to, in spite of its importance-he turned and walked away, spine straight and head high.

"Don't you want to hear my answer?" she called after him.

"Not yet," he answered, continuing to walk away. "Think it over for a spell."

"I don't..."

"Think, Verity," Laris said once more as he turned to look at her. She had never seen him look so determined, so stubborn. "This is likely the most important decision you'll ever make. Take your time. I won't be a whim." With that he turned once more and walked back to the house.

Eventually Verity followed him, muttering to herself about hardheaded, stubborn men who refused to listen.

Chapter Seventeen.

ALIX released the horse a good distance from the palace, sending the stolen animal on its way. The horse turned and sauntered north, perhaps heading for home or drawn to a mare in heat.

Sanura stayed close as he led her toward the palace which loomed before them. In that place, Alix's future would be decided. Would he kill his brother, take the throne, and be forever dark? Or would he choose not to carry out that act, even though the shadows which had been loosed would never again be entirely contained?

He knew exactly where he was going and he moved with a.s.surance, even though Sanura felt the trepidation within him. It was good that he was questioning his plans even as he crept toward the secret pa.s.sageway he had told her about. She wanted him to question, to be less than sure about his plans.

He led her to a small door on the western end of the wall which surrounded the palace. It was guarded, of course, but as this was a time of peace, the sentinel there was less than vigilant. She and Alix waited until the young guard turned his back and walked toward another entrance, then they ran. Alix held her hand and all but pulled her along, but her feet flew and she was able to keep up with his pace.

They turned a corner, maneuvered around some bed linens which had been hung to dry in the sun, and then slipped through an open entrance into a small, bustling room. Four tubs of water were manned by women in long white robes. Two of them were young, two were much older. They all diligently scrubbed at stains. Two other women sat in plain wooden chairs and mended crimson clothing. Only one looked up to see who had entered.

"You're not supposed to come in this way," the young woman snapped.

Alix glared at her, and one of the women at a tub of water looked up. "Do you not know who this is, girl? This is Prince Alixandyr. He comes and goes as he pleases." The woman looked at Alix. "Forgive her, m'lord. She's new." The news was imparted with a rolling of her eyes.

"How was I to know he's a prince?" the new girl asked in an almost insolent tone of voice. "He doesn't look like much to me," she added in a lowered voice that carried more than she'd planned.

The older woman looked Alix up and down. "You do look a mite rough, m'lord."

Alix managed a small smile for the older woman. "I've had a trying journey and want only to rest for a while before I resume my duties. A few days of complete privacy away from prying eyes and questions are all that I need, and for that to happen, no one can know I'm home. Can I rely on your silence?" He glanced at the six women in the room. "I ask for discretion from all of you, if you please."

"How about discretion, a tub of hot water, and a warm meal?" the eldest laundress said. "I think I can even scrounge up some of your favorite sweet bread."

Without warning Alix grabbed the old woman, who squealed in surprise, and then he teasingly kissed her wrinkled cheek. "I would be forever grateful."

The woman straightened her spine as she was released.

"I've never known you to be so gregarious, m'lord." She followed the statement with a smile and a girlish blush. Only then did she pin her calculating eyes on Sanura. "Would you like discretion, water, and food for two, m'lord?"

"I would."

"You'll have it," she said in a conspiratorially low voice.

Sanura, who had been alone with Alix or Trystan for much of the past month, was a.s.saulted by a wave of feelings from the women in the room. She was usually quite adept at controlling her gift, but she hadn't had much practice in recent weeks. There was admiration and curiosity and even a touch of fear in the room, as some of the women instinctively recognized the changes in their prince. There was loyalty here, too, so much so that she suspected Alix would get exactly what he had asked for from these women.

Except that one new girl, who was too curious for her own good.

Alix led Sanura through a narrow hallway and around a corner, then into another small room-where he quickly located and activated a hidden door which was made of the same stone that made up the walls. The door swung open on a dim s.p.a.ce. Dim, but not dark. As they stepped into the hidden stairway and Alix closed the secret door, Sanura's eyes were drawn to the glowing stones which lit the s.p.a.ce. There was a cl.u.s.ter of three stones on the floor near the doorway, and from what she could see from her vantage point, there was one stone placed at the far edge of every step. The entire stairway had an eerie, purple glow.

"Magic," she whispered.

"Yes. Jahn doesn't care for relying on magic, but in some cases it is the best solution to a problem."

"A problem like dark, hidden stairways," she said as he led her up.

He turned to smile down at her, and in the unnatural light he did look more evil than not. It was the slash of eyebrows and the wild hair, the humorless smile, the glint of darkness in his eyes. Her heart constricted, and she wondered if she could do what needed to be done.

All was not lost. She did see the Alix she had first loved there, in the eyes and in the face. More important, she felt that man radiating from the soul she could touch. He was not alone; he would never again be alone, but he was there and strong.

Could she make him s.h.i.+ne once more?

ALL he had to do was follow the hidden stairway to Jahn's chambers and kill the emperor while he slept. It was possible he would run into a guard or two along the way and be called upon to kill or disable those who would protect their emperor, but if it was unavoidable...

No, Sanura was right. He would rest and make himself presentable, then tomorrow morning he'd ask for a moment alone with his brother-a request Jahn would not even question. When they were alone, he would drive a dagger through the elder twin's heart.

Alix sat in a deep tub of warm water, water carried to this room by a trio of young, strong servants who would do exactly as the laundress had instructed them. They'd carry water up endless stairs and keep their mouths shut about what and whom they'd seen this evening. They were loyal now, and they'd be loyal when he was emperor.

Sanura washed his hair, her movements sensuous and arousing, her hands and fingers gentle and loving on his scalp. He liked it. He liked it when she tipped his head back and rinsed the soap away, protecting his eyes with a hand so the soap would not sting. He liked it when she ran her fingers through the long strands, squeezing water out.

He especially liked it when she stepped into the large tub with him and settled down, facing him, to wash her own body.

She was entirely his, no matter that she'd been given to Jahn, no matter that they'd broken the laws of three lands to be together-she was entirely his, and he would not allow anyone else to have her, not ever again.

In all his imaginings, he had never imagined her.

"We could have a very nice life here," Sanura said as she soaped her body. He watched the motion of her hands against her skin, and his body responded.

"We will have a nice life here," he said.

"Even if you don't kill your brother..."

"You won't change my mind, Sanura," he interrupted.

She lowered her eyes and continued to wash. "You know I am yours no matter what you do, no matter if you are prince or emperor or fisherman."

His stomach flipped over and then knotted.

"I care for the state of your soul, Alix, and if you kill your own brother, it will never recover. Trust me, I know."

"If my soul is a sacrifice I have to make..."

"Don't say that." She looked up sharply and her blue eyes pierced him.

For a while, a very pleasant while, she did not speak. She washed her body and her hair, and she even allowed him to help, as she had helped him. He had touched her in many ways, but never quite like this, caring and gentle, tending to her without thoughts of the s.e.x that would follow. Well, without too many thoughts.

Sanura's head was back, and he had just rinsed the last of the soap from her hair when she said, "I could kill him for you."

Her voice trembled as she made the offer, and a few unwanted tears filled her eyes.

"Why would you say such a thing?"

"He is not my brother. I do not even know the emperor, so..."

"The murder of a stranger is less harmful to the soul?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "It seems it would be so."

He leaned over and kissed her wet lips, and he tasted her pa.s.sion and her love and her sacrifice. "No," he whispered against her mouth. "I have asked many sacrifices of you and I will ask for more, but I will not ask for this."

"You did not ask, Alix. It's my idea, and if it will save you from committing this atrocity, then I'll do it. Quickly and painlessly, if I can. The result will be the same as if you did the killing yourself. Once your brother is dead, you will have all that you wish to have."

I have all that I wish to have right here.

The thought came out of nowhere, and he shook it off.

He would have everything he'd planned, and Sanura. He would have the power and the woman.

His mouth on her wet flesh drove all thoughts of murder from her mind, and from his. Her body against his, wet and warm and searching, made him forget that he needed so much more. In the small tub they twisted their bodies, reaching for the connection they were driven to attain. Their mouths fused; their insides quaking, they came together.

Water splashed on the floor as they pitched and rocked. Sanura's fine b.r.e.a.s.t.s swayed close to his face, so that he could bend his head and taste as they moved in time. His tongue raked roughly across a hard nipple, and she whimpered in response. She held on to him, her fingers caught in his hair, her body wrapped around his.

She quaked and fluttered around him as she found release. She cleaved her body to his and cried out his name, and then she said those words he needed to hear: "I love you, Alix." His release came with hers, and though he did not speak the words as she did, he felt the agonizing and wonderful emotion she had brought to him so unexpectedly.

It was only when he was finished that he realized she was crying. She held him, they were still joined, and she cried.

"What's wrong?" He pulled her head to his shoulder and cupped her head with his hand, holding her there.

"I want so much to save you, and you won't let me."

Alix appreciated the honesty of her answer, even though he did not believe he needed to be saved.

SANURA could not sleep. She was well fed, clean, lying naked in the arms of the man she loved more than her own life-and still she could not sleep.

It was the middle of the night when she realized what she had to do. Alix might never forgive her, but what choice did she have? Tomorrow morning the dark side of Alix, the part she had set free, would kill his own brother. He would never recover. He would have all that he thought he wanted, but it would taste bitter and he would never again smile or laugh or love with his whole heart, because a part of his heart would be shriveled and dead.

He was sleeping deeply when she crept out of the bed. Earlier in the evening she had acquainted herself with Alix's suite of rooms and his belongings, and she'd noted the many robes and sashes which hung in a ma.s.sive wardrobe, along with boots and weapons and towels and bed linens. She headed now for the wardrobe, where she retrieved four of the long crimson sashes.

If he woke too soon and realized what she was doing, he might kill her. She did not think he would do that, but if he reacted instinctively in his current state, it was possible. It was also a risk she was willing to take. She started with his right hand, wrapping one sash around the wrist and tying it tightly, then las.h.i.+ng the other end to the headboard of his ma.s.sive wooden bed. Next she did the same to his left hand, and then she moved to the foot of the bed and his ankles.

She was tying the last knot when he woke, confused for a moment and then smiling. "I did not know you cared for such games, Sanura."

She crawled onto the bed with him and she kissed him gently. Thinking this part of some s.e.xual pastime, he kissed her back without care or caution. She then left the bed and retrieved the sheet she had set aside. Her dress was ruined by long weeks of travel, and Alix's robes were all much too large. The bed linen would do, for now. She wrapped it around her body and draped the end over one shoulder, leaving the other shoulder bare.

"What are you doing?" Alix asked, his voice turning suspicious. He yanked at one of his bonds, trying to free his right hand.

"I am doing what you should not," she said.

His body stiffened, and he fought against the sashes as Sanura took another sash just like them and tied it around her midsection, crisscrossing the crimson strands to make the sheet she wore form to her body. It did not make for a fine gown, by any means, but at a glance it was acceptable.

"One scream, and sentinels will come running. They will stop you. They will kill you."

Unconcerned, she took the dagger she'd retrieved from his wardrobe and placed on a nearby table, hefting it in her hands and then hiding it in the folds of her makes.h.i.+ft dress. It was small enough to lie well in the folds. "One scream and the sentinels will come running and I will tell them everything, love," she said calmly. "Everything."

"They won't believe you," he said, ceasing his struggle.

"When they look into your eyes, they will," she reasoned. "You don't see them as I do. They are not the eyes those who know you will remember, love. They are darker. They are different in a way no one can dismiss."

He leaned back against the bed and seemed to relax, though inside he was enraged. "So, you're going to do the deed for me, is that it?"

"Yes."