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Irium 30 Deser

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As I open my eyes, I see a sky half filled with pure white clouds. It is a scene everyone expects to see when they look up. But natural beauty does not appear every time when I look up. It only appears in places enriched by nature. So, where exactly am I to be able to see it right now? (Straight up ripping off from A High Kick's Harlot Ream, are we? Good job, author! Good job!)

Now, because I'm not exactly Kais, instead of reacting to the fact that I'm on sand and start looking here and there, I would just get up and start finding the first thing I can meme about.

Okay, I can see cactus, and cactus, and cactus. Well, from what I know of India's topography, I'm probably in The Great Indian Desert right now. Not even going to consider being in some smaller, insignificant desert. I'm the protagonist after all, my experiences are supposed to be grand! … Oh well, this is comedy and the author is an a.s.shole so might as well keep the possibility in mind.

Anyway, aside from cactuses, I can also see sand, and sand, and sand. Wow! This is like the best thing I've ever seen. Such impurity! I love it!

Moving on, in a distance of about 50 meters, I can see something we call a camel. You know, it's that giraffe that ate too much and then grew old and short and its back started having legendary curves that, by themselves, should be enough for it to be given the t.i.tle of Ms. World.

Wow! I just said a hag should win Ms. World. I am so epic!

To get back on topic though, I can see a total of … 5 camels. And it seems like a group of people (their numbers I can't pinpoint from this distance) are pulling them with harnesses that are attached to their mouth.

Now, if I remember correctly (not saying I was the smartest kid in history or anything), but India, at this time, was under the rule of Britain, which they coined as 'British Raj'.

And 1856, huh?

Oh my holy mother, father, Yato, c.r.a.p!

The author didn't just randomly choose any year to throw me back in. He actually thought about it, remembered all things he read in his history books, and chose the worst possible time for me to go back in. 1857 is when the Indian revolt began. More specifically, it was 10 May, 1857 that the mutiny that started the revolution this country got engulfed in for its next 90 years happened. If I were to try to get a good enough guess of what month we would currently be in here (judging from the sun's burning heat here), it's probably be somewhere around April to June. Meaning, that I and Danny were transported to, exactly, a year before that whole incident happened.

But, for what G.o.dforsaken reason? What exactly do we need to do here? That skeletal b.i.t.c.h didn't really answer me when I asked her.

"Well, I guess if she had told us, the story would have ended."

Wait! WHHHAAAAATT!!!

Is that my trusted ability Plot Convenience I'm detecting in the hands of that b.i.t.c.h!? That traitor ability! It betrayed me, just like it did to Deku when he went up against Todoroki.


"Are you lost?"

I hear some unknown voice asking me that from behind. I see. A new character, huh? Not bad, not bad. It's always fun to have a new character in the story. It just means more people to meme on.

"Yes, actually I am." I say with a smug expression unlike anyone who would be lost and turn to look at the new guy. Well, turns out this new guy … is a girl.

"I … see. I can help you with that." She offers help with a bit of an uncomfortable smile. Now, no offense, but I don't expect to see an Indian woman in 1857 out in a desert like this, alone. Also, her accent makes her look like a natural at English. So, I think she's a British woman.

As far as describing her appearance goes, of course we'll now have a detailed explanation of her features, you know, because she is a woman.

Yeah well, no, actually, I can't do it.

"Is … something the matter?" she asks, a little confused by me moving my gaze away from her.

Something the matter!? Everything is the matter. This kinda stupid story development! Reviewers, I beg of you, don't give this guy more than a single star on story development! Like, I beg of you! Don't!

"W-why are …"

"Nothing!" I stop her mid-sentence. Dirt just went in my eyes is all. Ah, so where were we? Right, description … her description.

Hah! On a heart-shaped face, almond-shaped-green eyes are present like ornaments. Then there is a straight nose and mouth very symmetrical to the rest of the face. She has stunning red hair quite akin to Rias Gremory from Highschool DxD, and that hair has been made into long, side-swept bangs. She is 5'5 tall, an inch shorter than me. And her skin is so pale that one might call it milky. However, she doesn't have wings on her back.

Yeah, I might not the smartest protagonist you'll find out there, but I'm also not a Goku. I can tell what is going on here. I can tell that this woman – is Roswaisa, before she became an Angel.

That, is probably the reason we were sent to this place in this time.

"So, uh," I ask while trying my best to hide my expressions, "I'm trying to find a guy. He looks stupid and he is, but he is also a really nice guy … and a friend."

I say to her words that I do actually mean, even if they would never come out in front of the guy in question.

"Can you help me find this guy?" I ask with a smile, and … not a fake one at that.

Seeing my smile, she finds herself confused but cheers up a bit as well and returns my smile with,

"Sure."

*****


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About Irium 30 Deser novel

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